Jump to content

Click Here!

Tales of the Europan War - Reviews, Questions, Suggestions, etc.


JPR

Recommended Posts

Salutations!

Assuming I have placed this in the right sub-domain, this particular topic will serve as a medium for me to post my gratuitously long author’s notes as well as a medium for me to respond to reviewers without breaking any of the terms of service rules that exist for the posting of stories on the main page of AFF. As a result this will also prove to be a great medium for any of you that wish to state elaborate suggestions, questions, or concerns that pertain to this story as I progress to its completion hopefully by the turn of the year. All things are welcome here that fall under the rules of the AFF forum and if you have absolutely nothing to say to me or my story perhaps this can serve as a place for fans to share a common interest in Valkyria Chronicles.

‘Tales of the Europan War’ is my second most ambitious writing project to date, and hearing from the likes of you, the reader, really helps to push me forward in what I already consider a painfully tedious task; writing. Since I don’t actually expect anyone to comment on here until the posting of the new chapter, what I’ll do is update the forum with the complete author’s notes of past chapters that I unfortunately I had to cut short on the account of website rules, which for the record I have no qualms about following. I don’t want to cause trouble for the Admins and moderators. As I type this the new chapter is already seeing a fair amount of research and progress put into it and I can assure you that I plan to see this project to its completion.

I thank all of you for showing interest in my fan fic, and together I hope we can build a fan fic that every fan of Valkyira Chronicles can find some enjoyment in. Thank you!

From that guy

-JPR

Edited by JPR
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Chapter – 00 Author’s Notes

Well here it is, my long anticipated excuse to write another erotic fan fiction using the characters I've come to love in the beloved Valkyria Chronicles franchise. I remember getting this game back in High School and it was one of my first and favorite games to play on my brother's and I PS3 console and more importantly a game we both enjoyed playing. Any reason was good enough to bond with my brother and we explored Valkyria Chronicles together.  

After writing my first fan fiction (which was forever ago) I wanted to write another more ambitious one and I pondered the idea for sometime before settling on what to write it about, it was quite some time ago that I decided that it would be on VC but I failed to ever motivate myself to do it. However with the recent release of the Valkyria Chronicles Remastered edition I decided that I would wait no more.

Before beginning I thought it would be best to say that this is my attempt at combining the Game, the manga, and the anime together to tell the tale of this beloved franchise and I would do so with very little research since I have multiple writing projects not related to this. Not very wise, I know. I also think it fair to mention that the characters I write about are the same of that in the VC universe, but with a more perverse attitude so that it can in fact be an erotic novel and I don't want to exhaust myself too much on trying to write or even compete with the romance that the VC universe has to offer. Other than that, a few original characters will be included to fill some gaps, but they won't be playing too big of roles.

Although I will be trying to combine the three mediums of this story as told above, I will mostly follow the game unless the Manga or Anime does a better job at describing a relationship between two characters or describes a part of the story better than the game.

So in this attempt I simply write to fulfill my unsatisfied carnal desires that revolve around the people who loved, lived, and died during the Second Europan War and fought to protect their homeland, their way of life, and all that was precious to them. Without further ado I present "Gallia, To Arms!"

Post Script:

And there she is, the first chapter of many to come. Of course the bad guys would have to kill innocents and stuff. Let me know what you think and if whether or not Alicia's actions in chasing down the last imperial may have been a little too aggressive for her. I think not. She is a brave woman after all and after seeing what they did it would make some sense, right?

I also gave Susie and Welkin a history with each other, this is the result of them knowing each other (kind of) in the anime. So I decided that having some more characters that hailed from Bruhl to be around during the opening sequences of the game. Other than that I followed the game quite closely for this first chapter. In future chapters this may not always be the case.

I'll have more coming soon, unless I publish the first three chapters together like I had planned. We'll see.

-JPR

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Chapter – 01 Author’s Notes

Just for the Lolz I think I'll include one of these at the beginning and end of each chapter either just to ramble or to include vital information and the thought process that goes into writing this erotic fiction. You're thinking: "What? Logic in an erotic fan parody?" No you're probably not thinking that, but I'm going to pretend you are. You see for me, when I read erotic material, I search for two things; plot, and "plot", if you know what I mean ;). So occasionally I tell you and myself why I chose to pursue a certain development in said plot mainly for my sanity.

Valkyria Chronicles is a great story, I won't argue that, but there are some places where things can be a little bit underdeveloped and are in need of imaginary explanations. I feel it is necessary to describe how I saw certain things playing out in the background of the War Squad 7 participates in just so everyone will be on the same page with this particular parody. In chapter 4/3 I will be including a lot of explanation on these parts of the story that don't seem to be given much attention and I will try to add more emotion than the game concerning certain events that take place. This is where the anime and manga come into play, if they do better at creating such events I will follow that path as opposed to the game's, and if neither medium really covers the topic I will have my own creatively bankrupt mind do so by creating something new. I certainly hope this all makes sense and won't ruin your experience in reading this adaptation.

That being said, there will be times I myself will overlook somethings by just putting some erotic play into it, and by doing so I'm sure I will create new plot holes that hadn't existed in the original source material. I will try not to do that, but don't blame me if I do. This is at the end of the day supposed to be an erotic fan parody that hopefully serves its purpose well.

I'm not sure what else to say in these next couple of chapters other than that it's likely to start getting very bloody. So without further ado I present "In Defense of Bruhl."

Post Script:

So I experimented with some of the characters to see how far I could push them but still make them seem like the game characters that were always around. I think I did pretty poorly. I also thought I should mention that I tend to misspell Welkin as "Welking" a lot when typing. I do plan on proofreading these stories, but in case I miss a few 'Welkings' I hope you can cut me a break, it just seems that I have a tendency to put a 'g' after his name like I'm typing out '-ing' at the end of a word.

The next chapter should have a few other strange things thrown in there, particularly fetishes that only a war can provide. I'm not sure what I mean by that yet, but when I do I'll include it in the notes just before the start of the next chapter. Susie did not receive much screen time in this installment, but she'll have more later on once the militia comes around as well as every other character I wish to experiment sexually with along the way. It's a lot of characters though so I may miss a few of your favorites. Please forgive me if I do.

I'll have more coming soon. Unless I get tied down by other writing projects that actually have deadlines and stuff. I do this for fun but as a result may mess up a lot. 

-JPR

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Chapter – 02 Author’s Notes

For the record I do not condone non consensual sexual practices, I'm just familiar with the human mind when situational ethics come into play. In this chapter of Valkyria Chronicles a distressed Welkin is shown rushing toward the Gunther Estate, but he's just a little late. In order to include some sort of sexual act within this chaper I have decided to make Welkin just a little more than a little late when Imperial troops enter the Gunther residence while Martha and Isara are alone.

I've thought quite a bit about this one. In fact, I debated putting any sexual scene in this chapter at all and just focusing on the bloody awe that war is known for. My main arguments against an erotic scene were Martha is pregnant, and Isara is a Darcsen. Why would any young capable Imperial man want to fuck a pregnant woman and a Darcsen? (Not trying to sound racist) My arguments for the erotic scene were; This is an erotic fan fiction, Some peeps have a pregnancy fetish, and who knows, maybe an Imperial has fantasies of controlling a Darcsen "Pig" as they refer to them. (Hints of beastiality?) So in the end, I decided to kind of include one. Enough to get the blood pumping without any actual climax.  

The time it took to start writing this chapter from the last one where Alicia and Welkin almost performed the deed was a couple of months, so I can't say whether or not I may have forgotten some material and will start those plot holes I mentioned. I hope not though, I will try to skim over the chapters I have written so that things like that won't happen. I want to see this project through along with another one I'm working on and also maintain my work and a personal life as well as I can. We are all busy people, so I'm sure you understand.

Not sure what else to say, so without further ado I present "Escape from Bruhl."

Post Script:

So, what'd you think? I wrote this one with a lot less time than the others, so either I'm getting better or worse. The next chapter will include a pretty long and detailed author's note as well as a considerable length in story telling unlike the three chapters I've done so far. If I had to make an estimate of how long it'll be before I start writing; probably the length of all three of these chapters so far combined. So I'll be thinking about whether or not to split it into multiple parts since I plan for the erotic level of story telling to get a bit of a boost without overshadowing the battle sequences so much.

I'm not sure how the erotic scene turned out for this chapter, so some feedback will be kool. Too intense? Just right? Not enough? I'd like to get a general consensus just to see how extreme I can make things later on. maybe even a few ideas on the couples department. Well, don't think I have too much more to say. So I'll drop it here without bothering to proofread. I gots work to do!!!

-JPR

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Chapter – 03 Author’s Notes

Part One:

I actually got a review on the first day of me posting "Tales of the Europan War," which is shocking to me considering the last story I bothered to write on this site took over a month to get any kind of review which was just a message saying that my disclaimer was all messed up from the Admin. It shows me that despite the age of the game that the Valkyria Chronicles fan community is still strong...or maybe peeps just like erotic fiction.

I also had suspicions that Alicia may have been a little too forward, but the damage is done, so to remedy it I will try to keep her carnal desire in the bedroom from now on and not give her random thoughts about really wanting to fuck while on the field of battle (even though that's normal, right?). I will also try to do some nasty stuff with Marina since it was requested, but my creatively dead mind can only do so much even when sex is the topic. That being said, to anyone who takes the time to write a review, I will take your suggestions seriously and try to improve as I continue this series. After all there are many chapters in the game that I still have to write through and do a fair amount of research for, so hopefully by the end of it I can reach a certain excellence that every reader will be satisfied with. So if there's a couple you ship in Squad 7 let me know, I might hook them up, or if there's a character you want to see try every sauce laid on the table, also let me know. I did plan on Welkin to be dipping his pen around the company ink whenever I could, but I'll just experiment with it and someone will let me know what they think, and if not; the show must go on.

I did promise you guys a lengthy introduction for this chapter and a lengthy story segment to accompany it, so here it is:

Maybe a lot of you played Valkyira Chronicles and thought very little of how the military structure and chain-of-command operated, but that was certaintly not the case for me, and I find it important to include some description of this in order to make this story play out more smoothly. The Gallian Armed Forces are made up of two main branches; the Gallian Army, further divided into Regular (80,000) and Militia (Unknown) forces, and the Gallian Navy (10,000). This doesn't include the 2,000 Military Police personnel and some number of Royal Guard maintained by Castle Randgriz. The Gallian Volunteer Corps (or Militia), is where our Squad 7 resides, and I have taken the time to create a logical structure to organize it just for my sanity. It is as follows:

Gallian Volunteer Corps:
-8 Divisions Total
    I've only included further decomposition for what I'll make Squad 7's division.
-2nd Armored Infantry Division
    Made up of four regiments
-3rd (Armored Infantry) Regiment
    CO: Cpt Eleanor Varrot
    Divided into 10 "Squadrons", or 5 Battery's.
-Squad 7
    CO: 2Lt. Welkin Gunther
    NCO: Sgt Alicia Melchiott
    Divided into 4 Crews/Patrols
-1st Crew Leader: Sgt Largo Potter
-2nd Crew Leader: Cpl Brigette Stark
-3rd Crew Leader: Cpl Juno Coren
-4th Crew Leader: Cpl Catherine O'Hara
    A complete initial Squad 7 roster will be included in the story section, more will be added and some removed for 'casualties'

I have included this structure into this introduction to allow me to add more detail to the war in whole, as well as play with some Original characters, and again just for my sanity. I realize this is leaving the canon story a little bit and I don't expect anyone to grasp the structure, I include it to let you guys know how I'm thinking about the story and more importantly for a reference to myself.  

The next topic is the Gallian Army vs the Gallian Militia. There is always a competition between branches of armed service men and women, but to the point that they see each other as expendable and hope the other branch all dies is a little extreme. I think it's the anime that really makes this relationship one of malice torwards the Gallian Militia by the Gallian Army, and I promise this relationship will be one of friendly competition in this story. ...With some nut heads that might take it too far from time to time.

Finally we have the General Georg von Damon, who is incompetent beyond belief. I will keep him incompetent, but have subordinates under him that are more reasonable when it comes to military tactics and allow the General to steal credit for things he didn't do. There are 80,000 people in that army, you can't convince me every last one of them would jump on a sword for an idiot that has shit for brains. Someone has to lead them or else they would've surrendered from the start of the Imperial invasion on Gallia and none of this would even be happening.

I think that's all... Sorry for bothering you this long. I've written this before even thinking about the new sexual exploits of Squad 7 in this chapter, but I will do my best to have at least one person enjoy it. Without further ado, I present "Vasel Urban Warfare."

Part Two:

First off, I'd like to apologize for the fact that this second part of the Chapter has been available since the day I posted the first half of the chapter. The only thing that had prevented me from posting this half right away was my ambition to include a more detailed plot into the mixture of the numerous sexy scenes that I had planned to include, and despite scrapping and rewriting entire segments of this half up to five times in some cases, I decided to stick with a bare minimum in plot development after realizing that this chapter in the game was mostly mechanics and introductory focused. that being said what I originally had written quite substantial to what I'm posting here. If there seems to be any gaps in the story, then this is likely the reason why.

With that out of the way I'd like to inform you guys that I actually wrote the first sexual encounter of this half intoxicated, because let me tell you; it was not supposed to get frisky at all, but alcohol has a way of making things get really steamy really fast. That being said maybe someone could tell me if my drunken stupor conjures better ideas than my sober logic. If so, then I will actively try to write drunk and edit sober. Speaking of editing I have gone back to the previous chapters and did a little proofreading, and I will continue to go back from time to time to fix a lot of the more obvious mistakes that I somehow typed up without realizing (and keep managing to somehow miss). I'm not about to pull a George Lucas and start changing random things though, just little things that could've been phrased better or changing words and misspelling that should or shouldn't belong there.

I got another review! I will comment on it at the post script of this chapter. Without further ado, "Vasel Urban Warfare" ...part 2.

Post Script:

First things first, despite all the segments I excluded form this chapter there was another completely irrelevant one that I chose not to include. It was a random scene with Oscar and an OC that concluded with him and Marina having a little moment. I figured it was too out of character for Marina though and opted to keep it out. Maybe I'll publish it as a standalone story.

Finally; I got another review! This gives me an excuse to ramble on these awesome author's notes that I enjoy writing for some reason. A reader, who I'll dub "Big Boob Guy" on the account of him self-proclaiming he was, was kind enough to give his input. Thank you.  

Any concerns about me updating more regularly are noted and I don't want to keep any reader that finds enjoyment in my work waiting, but no amount of character limitation will really speed up my progress. I just don't do well in managing already limited time and my field is in STEM, so writing is not a strong point either, this causes the amount of time for me to write these stories to increase dramatically relative to someone who does it all the time. I also blame the recent release of Final Fantasy XV and me finally downloading World of Warships. Video games consume my life. Lolz

As for Selvaria... Trust me, I'm an engineer. I knew at some point I had to include her seeing how she tends to saturate most hentai and porn sites concerning Valkyria Chronicles along with Alicia. That being said the ideas provided are great, and seeing the direction my drunken self decided to take with Welkin in this part of the chapter I think I can make it work. In fact I had been wondering how to include Marina sexually in the story since she was already requested by the previous reviewer and the inspiration helps.  

As for branching out beyond the first game though it starts getting a little tricky. I have played VC2 and I could start working on how to include characters from that game into this story, I had even considered writing a whole other story for VC2. Unfortunately however, I have not played VC3, and despite me knowing of the Nameless and some of their interactions with Squad 7, I don't have enough confidence to replicate their characters accurately enough. It's already challenging for characters I do know. That being said the challenge is not beyond me, and will be left on the table until I decide for sure. I may include Julianna at the very least... I like her too.

I ought to start looking for better ways to respond to reviewers though. Unless you guys like these random author's notes that I write. I know I do. Anyways, I have some busybody stuff to, as well as start brainstorming and working on the next chapter. I hope you enjoyed and as always, thank you for reading.

-JPR

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 months later...

Chapter – 04 Author’s Notes

Well… here it is. Forty-five pages later and twenty-five thousand words of typing later there was not enough alcohol in my stores to get me writing this quicker than I had managed. It makes me think that I really should take that advice about forgoing subplots and just focusing on the main protagonist like a friendly reader suggested, but what’s the fun in that. I’m a masochist and I’ll write because it hurts, Lolz.

A lot of love went into this chapter and I really did mean to get it to you guys much sooner, but life caught up and so did my addiction to World of Warships. I honestly did not expect to like that game as much I do, but as an enthusiasts for battleships I guess it was just to be expected. This chapter was meant to remedy some past issues. A review came in about Alicia being a little too solemn and I agree, so I immediately got to work at fixing said issue as you’ll all see as you read. It also was an attempt to fix typos, misspellings, and grammatical mistakes. Despite what it may seem I’m not a very strong writer (at least I don’t think so) and I feel I work harder than most when trying to keep a composition such as this interesting to others, so reading an entire chapter again after writing it is not exactly the highlight of my writing experience. So to solve this I just started using more advanced software to help with the spelling and grammar issues, however typos will still occur. I’m sorry for any these and before the completion of this all typos will be exterminated from all chapters ~hopefully and I will do heavy revision of all chapters before the final to make a better flowing story.

Another thing was developing new relationships between the characters. One of the reasons I decided on doing Valkyria Chronicles as my first ambitious erotic fan fiction was because of the diversity, the number of characters there is to write about was something I thought would keep me interested in writing it and It has. It feels like writing a bunch of tiny little fanfics and compiling it into a familiar story and it seems to be working. Occasionally I have trouble make some characters work together, but you guys come up with great ideas that I’m wiling to pursue, so keep them coming. In this chapter the relationship between characters outside of sex has been developed to a more intimate level than the game… I hope. One particular couple I start hooking up is Nadine and Cezary, which by canon aren’t a thing, but in the Manga they develop a relationship. I liked that relationship. Seeing as how Nadine become a famous writer of a book called “Love at War” If I’m not mistaken, I figured that love at war she found was Cezary and imagine it got popular because it had a Fifty Shades sort of trendy vibe to it. So their relationship will be a little kinky to say the least. This chapter includes the very first steps into that unique relationship.

I ran out of alcohol, so there isn’t as much sexy time as in previous chapters, but I’m sticking to my code of at least one per chapter, this chapter has two and a half. This number come up because in one of the three includes no actual intercourse of sorts and is abruptly ended. Dallas can have a strange mind sometimes. The alcohol helps put my mind into the characters’ positions and write a better erotic tale (I think), this might be why I find the last sexy time of the story to be subpar. Not only was it in a rush to complete the chapter, but I had nothing to drink. Lolz.

And now some questions for those who bother to read these. I’ve included in the story tags and incest tag. I did this without realizing that I had no plans of hooking up Welkin and Isara. Should I? And what are your ideas based on how the story is progressing? Is there any characters that haven’t hooked up that haven’t already been suggested how should it play out? I can’t guarantee it’ll turn out exactly as you ask it, because if I’m writing and something feels off I might take a different approach, but I will try to get every character that can get hooked up in along the way. That being said more characters are recruited to Squad 7 by the start of the next installment, “Report 03: Largo’s Passion” There will also be more sexy time in it. ~I hope.

If a potential reviewer does come across this I’d like some feedback on more of the actions scenes if nothing else. The second part of this chapter is told in a more tales of Vasel sort of style and I’d like to hear how most of these turned out. I’m influenced by Band of Bother’s but have no idea if I’m getting even remotely close. Also there’s the fact of character emotions in battle. They all seem pretty chill and without fear. Should I keep it as I have to prevent the mood from darkening and keep it sexy, or should I make them more traumatized by the horrors of war? I don’t know. Just thinking of ways to make this story more bothersome for me. Lolz. I am a workaholic after all.

As always, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy this new installment of “Tales of the Europan War.”

-JPR

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Quote

From SailorNemesis on October 03, 2016
 

I like your concept as I am a huge fan of Valkyria the game.  The anime sucked and I only got through a few episodes. I agree your characters are off.  I can't see Alicia as a slut.  Also keep in mind that these characters are basically in the equivalent of 1940s Europe, so most should be pretty sexually naive and conservative.  Obviouslyyou have to push that a bit for an ero-fic, but keep the era in mind.

As far as the rape in chap 3, the Imperials are basically the Nazis and the Darsen the Jews; there was plenty of rape in concentration camps.  Seeing them as animals rarely stops racist opressors from taking sexual advantage.  I enjoy non-con fiction so I don't mind seeing it here, though I'd enjoy moslty focusing on sex within the squad.  Hope you do some nasty stuff with sniper Maria.  Hope my commentary helps.

Quote

From SailorNemesis on January 27, 2017
 

Mostly enjoying it, though the anime was crap and I dont like Faldio being around.  Overall I'm looking froward to more.  Hopfully Capt. Varrot gets in on the action.  Rosie x Isara would be fun too.

As for your concerns on me focusing on the anime plot over the game plot. I have been trying to focus more on the game driven plot as carefully as I could after reading your first review, and frankly I thought I was doing a pretty good job. The only time I was going to focus on the anime plot heavily was for the Princess’ kidnapping and Fouzen arcs. Trust me, I’m an engineer. Faldio is not here because of the anime, and I’m not trying to make anyone like him, so if its his character you hate, good; I’m trying to make people hate him. This rendition of the VC tale will have some original elements to add up to a unique kind of ending, Faldio is here for that, not because of the anime. I am writing in the game archive of the site after all.

Varrot will definitely get in on the action it’s just a matter of when.

If you enjoy non-consensual fiction there will also be more of that.

Otherwise thanks for your input. I have tried to modify Alicia’s character as per your observation in later chapters. I will also go back to revise her in earlier chapters just before the completion of this work. Thanks for your valued input.

- JPR

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Quote

From CompleteDomination on January 10, 2017
 

Figure I might as well, if you were so excited about one.

I do want to point out a bit that you'll probably have to limit the amount of people you include. You're already putting in plenty of plot, and writing little sub plots for every character will slow you down quite a bit. This might just me wanting you to update quickly though, so don't think about it too much. However I definitely think Welkin should be the 'main' character, being the one really focused on. Although I guess a few with Faldio, Jargo, and maybe Vyse wouldn't be bad. Giving Isara a little subplot of her own would also be fun.

As for suggestions. Need I even say it...Selvaria. You have to. Boo, Maximillian! Selvaria's too loyal to him to totally betray him, but I could see her getting frustrated, both emotionally and sexually, by his indifference. I think I remember in the anime Selvaria going with the other general dude to spy on the party where Princess Cordelia was kidnapped, and helped Squad 7 save her. I think a love/hate thing between her and Welkin would be awesome. After all, I think Barious occured before this. A case of her being all pissed for him beating Maximilian, but also being frustrated enough with Maximilian to get hot and heavy with Welkin because of it. She tries to kill him on the battlefield, but they always have hot, angry sex off of it.

Otherwise, I think maybe branching out beyond the first game would be nice. Involve the Nameless a bit, as they did actually interact with Squad 7 in the third game. Riela all the way. Juliana Everhart from the second game also fought in the war at Naggiar Plains, so maybe having her be attached to Squad 7 for a bit would be cool. Considering I've suggested Selvaria, Reila, and Juliana first, I think it's easy to say I'm a big boob guy.

Otherwise...Definitely want Marina getting involved with Welkin. Maybe they could bond while scouting out in the wilderness at Kloden, Marina being a hunter and Welkin liking the wilderness for the insects and animals. Have Rosie become annoyed with Edy and deciding to 'coach' her. Clarissa Callaghan from the third game was assigned to Nameless squad for falling in love with an Imperial Soldier. You could have Welkin snatch her up, as she's a medic and you even made it a point to say Squad 7 is a medic short. The triplet medics are also an obvious choice.

I'm going to close out by suggesting Audrey Gassenarl. While villains in the second game and unarguably racist, both Audrey and Baldren are fierce patriots, could even be called idealists, and were extremely competent military officers. Since you have given a bit of focus on some officers being competent in the Army, I could see them turning up. Audrey is also a very skilled tank commander, and could very well be interested in the Edelweiss. Gallia definitely needed to upgrade their standard tanks after all during the war. Learning it was built and maintained by darcsens could also be the first step to making her lose her racist tendencies. She also worships the valkyrur, thus the reason behind her hatred of darcsen, so Alisa eventually could influence her...Her participating in a threesome with Welkin and Selvaria would also be hot.

Got into it. Hope I gave you a few ideas though. Hope you update soon.

Yes, I get excited about reviews. Thanks for being considerate.

I hate to ignore your request bu the plots are probably going to stay, UNLESS more reviewers come around sharing you opinion. I’ve sorted stated why in a previous chapters notes, but I will reiterate. I chose VC as my first erotic fan fiction because of the diversity and it helps me to change who I’m writing about and move forward when I’m stuck than keep being stuck on how to proceed with a certain character. I’ve stressed before I’m not as strong a writer as many other’s and if writer’s block is bad for them I think you can imagine how much harder it is for someone that does it more as a hobby. Seeing as you mentioned being a big boob guy I can understand why the bigger PLOT matter more than the little subPLOTS. Lolz. If everyone hates my subplots though I will definitely consider changing my future course.

Selvaria is a go; in due time. I like your ideas for her and will likely be my course in this story. Also you like big boobs; I can respect that.

Originally I had no intention of bringing Marina and Welkin into sexy time, but your suggestion has helped spawned ideas for characters I just never thought compatible in the past. This is why I ask for suggestions. Good job! As for the triplets; I’m sure I can find a way to get them involved in the action.

As for the rest of your review I encourage you to look at my previous notes I’m pretty sure I addressed them. Integrating the other games would be great! But I’m not sure how good I can do at that and since concern is shown about how often I update doing so will definitely sow down progress even more.

Otherwise, thanks for your input. I look forward to implementing some of your ideas.

-JPR

Edited by JPR
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Quote

From Sef on February 23, 2017
 

Awesome that we're getting some quality VC smut - a rarity, if not an endangered species.

As for the story, I like how everyone is a lot sluttier, and act out on that. I think I'd prefer it if Alicia was a little less crushing on Welkin at this stage. Maybe she thinks he's hot and would be a nice catch, but I think I'd rather her thinking about Faldio while she's fucking him than Welkin, seems like a downer the way it is.

'Faldio is super sexy and he's been chatting me up all week, so why the fuck not?!' etc etc

Just making the characters super promiscuous is an awesome angle, but I'd advise againts making EVERYONE like that going forward. It feels a lot less titilating if everyone is slutty, you need the normies and the prudes to have a basis for comparison.

Also, leave off dick sizes. Everyone's 'huge' apparently and, unless you're going to make certain characters size queens, it all becomes redundant anyway.

Finally, I wouldn't be totally against going AU and making this Welkin/Selvaria :3 Maybe he somehow finds that it's Maxxy that had her experimented on in the first place to get her to flip, I dunno.

“Awesome that we're getting some quality VC smut - a rarity, if not an endangered species.”

QUALITY! (Feigns heart attack and death) Lolz. The fact that anything I write can be called quality is astonishing to me especially when considering most of my days are spent collecting data behind a locked door.But if you started with good news that means there’s bad news too. HA! I knew it!

You’re right though, Lolz. I definitely overdid it with Alicia. Seems she’s the character everyone has had a problem with and I totally understand why. I had meant for her to be slutty through most of the story and that way she wouldn’t be hung up on Welkin and just move one. After trying to adjust her character things got weird and I totally see that now. It’s good you guys point out these things, they’re good for me. I won’t go back yet to try and fix her character until I’m near the completion of this story. But I hope I can met a standard everyone will be happy with before the end and revise the story accordingly.

Normies, eh? Why? Lolz. I think you may be getting ahead of me. ~Maybe. Try reading the new chapter and tell me if I’ve implemented some normies. I can’t tell. I’m not exactly normal myself.

… Of all the things I thought I’d get criticism for, dick sizes what not one of them. IN MY DEFENSE! I like all of these characters, if I’m going to be the one dictating their size I’m going to be a kool ass god and give them all big dicks! Lolz. Okay, I’ll keep this in mind. Read the new chapter and despite the lack of sexy time you should be able to mention if I did a little better after following your advice.

Really? Like just straight up Welkin/Selvaria? It’s a long way to the end, so I’ll consider it, but no promises. It goes against the original paradigm I had going, but so does a lot of things I’ve written so far. So who knows? My sort of unique ending was going to be slightly AU anyways. I suppose you suggestion isn’t as extreme as letting Isara live either.

Thanks for your valued input. Hopefully I can keep whatever quality you found in this story up and I will try not to disappoint.

-JPR

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Gotta say I’m liking what I’m reading so far. It might actually get me to play the game over again actually. Part of me hopes that eventually there will actually be some directly referenced pregnancy scenes (given how many times it’s referenced as Alicia getting plowed by Faldio I wouldn’t be overly surprised if she’s either on something or is going to have a surprise some time down the line, for instance). Another is hoping Catherine gets some action as well in the future.

Regardless it’s nice to see something more recent here, and I visited on a whim. Hope to see more in the future.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

Report – 02 Author’s Notes

So it would seem that collecting a few more Platinum Trophies on my PS4 was more important than getting this story to you guys in a timely manner and for that I apologize, but this story is in the game archive...and we’re all gamers, right? So you guys understand...I hope. Well anyways, onto the story.

One of the unfortunate things about this particular fanfiction is that the only thing I had in mind when starting to write it was a general idea of where I wanted the story to go, which means that there is a lot of time in between wondering if certain sections of the story I write are even necessary. This chapter was definitely one of those sections. Let’s be honest, “Report 2: Largo’s Passion” can be debated as to whether or not it was necessary in the game overall as well with the veggies and all, so I’m not sure what was crossing my mind when I told myself, “This has to be included.” I mean I even skipped Largo’s comical rant. I just hope that I managed to include some interesting parts pertaining to other characters and that this chapter isn’t a snore fest for the most of you. That being said, don’t get discouraged by my writing, I have a lot of good ideas for Kloden and Barious alike.

That being said maybe Largo’s Passion was necessary to the game. Some of the quotes you can get out of that scene are hilarious and Largo is without any doubt the one character that my brother and I quote the most today due to some of the stuff coming out of his mouth here. Just an Idea.

A lot of you have been asking for a Varrot and Welkin scene, here it is. I’m not sure I grasped it just right, but there will definitely be other opportunities, so if you still got ideas be sure to tell me and I will try my best to integrate them. This goes for any characters in the game you want to see hooked up, be sure to tell me or may accidentally skip over them…possibly. I want a lot of the characters to get some time with their genitals out. Which reminds me of something very, very important. ALICIA. Lolz.

I've gotten more reviews saying that Alicia hasn’t been quite right since the start of the story, and to that all I got to say is: I WILL GET HER RIGHT DAMMIT! Lolz. She’s obviously in this chapter, but her character doesn’t really have any shining moments here that might dictate her character being off, but from my understanding it’s her relationship with Faldio that really needs to be fixed. These problems will hopefully see solutions in the next chapter so don’t expect any here. Just saiyan.

Well, this is a shorter chapter, so a shorter AN shouldn’t be an issue, unless I decide it is one and edit this later, which I might. As always, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy this installment of “Tales of the Europan War”

-JPR

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Quote

From Sef on April 01, 2017
 

super hot.

My only issue is with Alicia. You keep trying to emphasise that her relationship with Faldio isn't 'romantic' - as if that's only allowed with Welkin or something - which is fine in and of itself, but that doesn't mean she can't enjoy it when she's fucking around. 

Sex is great, and the characters you've written seem to love having it too. There's a lot of dubcon elements though that kind of keep the story a litte too dark and sap the joyous aspect from it all.

Still want Welking and Selvaria to end up together in the end :P

Dubcon, eh? I thought I was a pro at this lingo stuff by now but I actually had to look up what that meant so maybe I’m still a rookie. That being said I think I discovered a new fetish with your lingo expertise. Lolz. I will keep working on Alicia. I’ve stated in the AN for the REPORT chapter not expect any changes yet, but I will try to make that different for Kloden. To be more specific about the dubcon part; I’m not sure if I’m aiming for joyous or dark at all, so that might be why both are a little mixed in there.

Welkin and Selvaria. I can maybe, probably, kinda, see it happening. If more come to me with this AU ending I might do it. At the very least I can try making a few alternate endings to the current material I’m writing. Otherwise do keep telling me where I can improve and I will address them as best I can.

Thanks for your input and I hope you continue to enjoy.

-JPR

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Quote

From SailorNemesis on April 02, 2017
 

Good to see chap 7, though I agree was far too little hentai.  Looking forward to more, Varrot needs to get her some Welkin.  And when Damon captures Selvaria, he needs to introduce her to his horse.

There will be plenty more hentai before the end. At least that’s the plan, so there’ll definitely be more. Varrot and Welkin: enjoy the new chapter.

As for Damon and Selvaria though; is this a literal horse or a figurative one? Also I’m not sure what the guy asking for a SelvariaxWelkin ending will feel about a SelvariaXDamonsHorse Ending. Lolz.

Thanks for you input, and I hope to hear more from you.

-JPR

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 4/23/2017 at 0:39 AM, Guest RST said:

Gotta say I’m liking what I’m reading so far. It might actually get me to play the game over again actually. Part of me hopes that eventually there will actually be some directly referenced pregnancy scenes (given how many times it’s referenced as Alicia getting plowed by Faldio I wouldn’t be overly surprised if she’s either on something or is going to have a surprise some time down the line, for instance). Another is hoping Catherine gets some action as well in the future.

Regardless it’s nice to see something more recent here, and I visited on a whim. Hope to see more in the future.

Play the game again! I mean, why not?

Pregnancy, eh? This was actually a goal. I’m not sure I meant to directly reference the topic but rather make subtle references. I mentioned my ending to this story may not be completely canon like the game or whatnot, but with a few changes here and there and the topic of pregnancy was part of what changed that. One of the things I appreciated most about Valkyria Chronicles is the detailed descriptions it gave you for almost everything and everyone, and I personally spent hours on the glossary section of the game reading through every little thing. These descriptions often included what certain characters did after the war, and with my rendition a lot of these after stories may not be the case word for word. For one I hope to include character deaths, and also maybe some of the ladies leave the war with some extra baggage. Things like that. If you’re picking up on the sexual habits of some characters particularly the differences between Faldio and Welkin then you should have no problem picking up those subtle hints I drop here and there. In the future I may be more direct about it if that’s what you’re asking. I’m sure some people might get off easier knowing for sure. It’s ok, I don’t judge.

Catherine gets some love? I like it. I had a younger cousin who was fond of Catherine back when my bro and I first started playing the game and I certainly appreciate her myself. So if you keep visiting the site on whims you can look forward to that.

Thank you for your input and I hope you keep enjoying my story on a whim.

-JPR

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 5 weeks later...

Chapter – 05 Author’s Notes

Part 1:

I opted to put the “Part 1” Title here since I’ll probably just edit this post to include ANs for the other parts as they come. Don’t get confused though, I think one more part should be enough to finish the chapter as shown in the game. This chapter was a little more fun than I was expecting honestly, mostly because I bought some booze and got to work on it one night and included a scene I enjoyed between Vyse, Aika, and Fina. So I’m happy with what has been included in it so far. I have been waiting for more war scenes to pop up since I enjoy writing those messy sections of this story even more so than the sexual ones. Heresy, I know. It’s a shame I can’t deliver them with excellent quality. I even finally got Juno a scene and used to help pave a way towards a Welkin and Isara scene as requested. Which brings me to a few things I really wanted to talk about; namely, Audrey and VC III.

If you guys ever come to know me personally, which is something I really doubt will ever happen, you might figure me for the person that thinks too much. I’m an engineer, thinking is my job, so if I have nothing to think about, I find something to think about. This is what happened with Audrey. I read “The Writing on the Wall” concerning Squad 7s miraculous siege of a base after the whole cabin sequence between Welkin and Alicia. I figured: Hey, this is close enough to Kloden for me to get that hentai scene between Audrey and Welkin. I read further and the Regiment that Squad 7 accidentally aided was dubbed “the Army’s 10th Regiment.”  ….What? Regiment of what? Does this unit specialize in anything? I didn’t know, but I really wanted Audrey to be in this “10th Regiment”. As you guys might recall I included an Author’s note in the past that gave a very rough structure of the Galian Volunteer Corps, but the fact is that I have a very detailed structure and organization of the Gallian Militia in a notebook I use for this project. That’s right, a whole notebook! This notebook didn’t include a structure for the regular Army and now all of a sudden I needed one. So the delay in this short part of Kloden from reaching you guys was to make a logical structure and chain-of-command for the Gallian Army all for one character. Thus the 10th Armored Cavalry Regiment was born. To be fair the military structure I created was probably too organized for an actual – and functional – military, but all I know on the subject is from growing up with my dad and his 23 years dedicated to serving. My point being; it took way too long for Audrey all because of my damned habits. Which brings me to VC III and why I never played it. Lolz.

Obviously back in the day there was some trouble with getting VC3 into the West, but today there is English versions of it available online and for download. Rather than take the time to play I thought, Hey, I can just watch someone else play it and get that Riela character that’s all the rave in this story like requested. I like redheads too!   ...and boobs! Perhaps it was a translation error of some sort in the version I was watching, but not even five seconds into the second chapter the narrator is like, “On March 14, 1935 the Gallian Army reclaimed Vasel Bridge”. (-_-) Let me just blow up the important part, “ON MARCH 14, 1935!!!” How can this be? Irene Koller told me in the first game that the Empire didn’t even begin their assault until March the fifteenth! How can Welkin reclaim Vasel Bridge a day before Bruhl falls!? He wasn’t even in the Militia yet! Why is it called Valkyria CHRONICLES, if you can’t even put things in chronological order?! *Panting uncontrollably* ...Ahem, but yeah; I’m probably overthinking it. My dates work in this story, but perhaps I misinterpreted the meaning of said dates reading through “The Writing on the Wall”. I really wanted Riela in my story like requested. Hell, after seeing her in pics I would really want her in my bed, but rather than try and figure out when the 422nd Squadron met 7th Squadron for the first time, I just binge watched something on Netflix. That’s a project for another day, or maybe for a future collab if anyone is interested. I’ll think about it.

As I’ve said before, I take all suggestions seriously. Even those concerning Damon’s horse. But I hope you don’t blame if I can’t pursue every single one, that being said I do have many that are just waiting to happen. I’ll address those in their specific review replies though, not here. I’ve stressed before that I’m not a skilled writer, I just wanted to write. So ideas are always welcome, but let’s be clear; my imagination can only go so far even with the best ideas. I do have ideas though, anyone planning to leave a review can feel free to answer them. Rape within Squad 7 by a member of Squad 7? Go or no go, and who’s the victim? A lesbian sequence between Marina and Catherine? Same sex stuff isn’t my forte but I’m willing to try. More war sequences? Meibi? Instead of Welkin and Alicia ending up in a cabin it’s Welkin and Marina (Or another nomination), while Alicia walks into a cabin full of sex-starved Imperials? More shell-shock, or keep the war trauma light (everyone be getting laid anyways)? And finally, does everyone still want that pig to be the mascot, or should I use something else? Maybe even just delete that from the story all together.

That’s all I got. As always thanks for reading.

-JPR

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Quote

From Sef on June 08, 2017
 

Hah, good to see I've added to your vocabulary I guess? I'll just hope for the Sylvie stuff and read on.

As for critiques, aside from grammatical errors and the like that could probably be nixxed with a quick re-read before posting, you've a tendancy to write run-on sentences that should be cleaned up. It helps a lot for a stories flow if each sentence flows smoothly too.

Keep plugging away at that plat trophy. I got it recently too, in fact, I stumbled on this story after getting it and looking for VC fics :P

Keep hoping for the Sylvaria stuff. I’m still thinking about it and that’s a plus!

Lolz! Sentences don’t run, you can’t fool me. jk, The truth of the matter is that I often see these run-on sentences while I write the chapter’s, I just tell myself I’ll get back to fix it. Unfortunately I don’t do this thing called “re-read” or proof-reading as I should. Not the habits of a good writer, I know. I will try though! I will!

Also the trophy I was aiming to get was the Final Fantasy XV platinum. Which I got. No I’m working on collecting all the trophies for Crash Bandicoot Remastered and Megadimension Neptunia. In case you were curious.

-JPR

Edited by JPR
Forgot my signature
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Quote

From SailorNemesis on June 09, 2017
 

Varot was very sexy, I hope she gets her wish and Welkin gets over his aversion to unloading in girls.  I also hope he and Isara hook up.

Selveria.  I'd like to see her taken by Daimon's horse (something about a witch not being fit for human men, etc.) or failing that by Daimon himself.  Looking forward to more chaps.

Varrot was sexy. I didn’t realize how much I was anticipating the scene myself until I started writing it. Perhaps I mentioned already, but my favorite part is when they were dressing each other back up. I’m trying to work my way to Welkin and Isara as per your request, I’m just trying to figure out the situation that allows them to do it. They do see each other as siblings and I haven’t mentioned any previous backstory involving such a case so I want to make it seem somewhat natural. I hope I’ll succeed.

I looked it up. I did in fact find a picture of Selvaria being “taken” by horses. Not sure which one was Damon’s horse though. I’m a bit in a pickle though, another has cast a vote against your request (not something I’ve handled on this site before) so I’ll have to make the final decision on that. So I hope there isn’t any hard feelings if I toss the bestiality route. Perhaps I’ll write a stand alone scenario with that idea or if you’d like to then go ahead. As for Damon himself… I don’t really like Damon. I was going to give him a small dick because of that, but if I decide to humiliate Selvaria I will change that… Maybe he’ll be hung like a horse. Lolz! Who knows? Time will tell. I didn’t include a beast tag so an alternative may be the way I go. When I first started writing I had planned this far ahead, but while I write I notice I stray from my original ideas sometimes and that improv is the best way to continue. So as I tell the others, keep hoping.

Thanks for your ideas.

-JPR

Edited by JPR
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Quote

From CompleteDomination on June 12, 2017
 

Glad to see you're still working on it. Enjoying it very much.

Enjoying the Freesia subplot, and also very much looking forward to Juno's moment in the limelight. Kloden seems like a good opportunity for some nice scenes, since trekking slowly through the wilderness is much different from anything seen so far and will give ertain characters a chance to shine.

Also while I can't criticize the guy wanting Damon to do...something to Selvaria, it's a very popular scene in doujin of this series, I can't help but pitch in my vote otherwise. Sorry, dude, but not my cup of tea. Actually agree with the guy who says a final Selvaria/Welkin pairing would be good. I doubt it will happen, but still can't deny I'd like Selvaria to keep some dignity despite arguably being THE sex symbol of Valkyria Chronicles. I could understand Maximilian, that assistant, Carl I think?, or even Jaeger. However Damon...and horses, aren't quite my cup of tea. Obviously your choice as the author, but I said my piece.

Hope Marina gets the scene I mentioned in my past review, or at least a memorable development. I could also see Welkin managing to rope Edy into some sexual play for punishing Rosie. A 'If I punish Rosie by having sex with her you'll reward me with sex' agreement would probaby please all three if he spun it right. My long shot hope is for an appearane by Audrey Gessenarl as Squad 7 will be going to the south where her father is in charge. Regardless, know you'll do great. Good luck.

I’m already balls-deep, I have to keep working on it. I’m glad you’re enjoying it.

A Freesia sub-plot? I had no idea I was doing that. Perhaps I relate to the tanned pony-tailed beauty since we were bred in the desert and annually brave 120 degree weather during the summer. I mean Fahrenheit of course of those not familiar with the system. Juno is a go! It’s orbiting Jupiter. Hopefully I met your expectations in this chapter. Trekking slowly means more writing…. Aaagh!!! *eats Oreo Blizzard to calm down* I got this. Not sure I’ll get every character that can shine here, but if nothing else I’ll get what I can. The war is very short for Gallia, but what war is short at this scale?

Damon doing “something” to Selvaria?! Ha! As if I’ll give him that honor! But I may, we’ll see. I have two votes going for a Selvaria/Welkin ending. Does a Harem ending work? idk, Like I told Sef, I’m still thinking about about so keep your hopes in mind and maybe your thoughts will penetrate my mind subconsciously and it will happen. As for tea I prefer Earl Grey. If Selvaria does indeed get humiliated or paired of, it may very likely be with a character and not a horse, I apologize to any that may have wanted such. I know this is a response to ‘your’ review, but I would like to remind everyone that everyone’s “piece” is considered in my mind, as well as overthought before a ‘go’ or ‘no go’ is decided. But Carl, eh? Does he have a place in this story? Let me know, I might run it.

Concerning Marina; I like your idea. If it comes to fruition it will be after Barious on their trek home. Squad 7 is going to be behind enemy lines a while, so a certain sniper/huntress might be entrusted to get food for the squad with a certain Lieutenant in tow -cough winkwinknudgenudge. I have a Edy scene in this new chapter. Tell me if you like it too. As for Edy and Welkin I’ll see what I can do. A wild Audrey appears. Do you catch it? Sometime it takes more than one Pokeball, she’ll be around again.

Thanks for reading, and I’ll keep doing my best…..or close enough.

-JPR

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 year later...

Chapter – 06 Author’s Notes

Firstly there is this:

Special: 1 Commissionable Tank
[Edelweiss]
Crew:     2Lt Welkin Gunther
    Cpl Isara "Sis" Gunther
Support Infantry 40
1st Crew Chief: Sgt Largo Potter [L]
    Pvt Jann "Uncle J" Walker [L]
    Pvt Walter "Chef" Nash [L]
    Pvt Hannes "Neanderthal" Salinger [ST]
    Pvt Coby "Gramps" Caird [ST]
    Pvt Freesia "Cold Feet" York [Sc]
    Pvt Montley "Fleet Feet" Leonard [Sc]
    Pvt Musaad "Mole" Mayfield [Sc]
    Pvt Claudia "Black Cat" Mann [E]
    Cpl Gina "Medic" Sellers [M]
2nd Crew Chief: Cpl Brigette "Rosie" Stark [ST]
    Pvt Cherry "Popper" Stijnen [Sc]    
    Pvt Ramona "Diva" Linton [Sc]         
    Pvt Edy "Idol" Nelson [ST]
    Pvt Salinas "Tankman" Milton [ST]
    Pvt Jane "Sadist" Turner [ST]
    Pvt Nina "Muscles" Streiss [ST]
    Pvt Theold "Blondie" Bohr [L]
    Pvt Dallas "School Girl" Wyatt [E]
    Cpl Mina "Nurse" Sellers [M]
3rd Crew Chief: Cpl Juno "Specs" Coren [Sc]
    Pvt Susie "Gum Drop" Evans [Sc]
    Pvt Wavy [Sc]
    Pvt Elysse "Fencer" Moore [L]         
    Pvt Aisha "Short Stop" Neumann [ST]
    Pvt Dorothy "Diamond" Howard [ST]
    Pvt Mica "Jammer" Hawkins [ST]
    Pvt Oscar "Dingo" Bielert

     Pvt Homer "Swan" Peron [E]         
    Pvt Ramsey "Gunny" Clement [E]
4th Crew Chief: Cpl Catherine "Coyote" O'Hara
    Pvt Aika "Pirate" Thompson [Sc]            
    Pvt Ted "Joker" Ustinov [Sc]
    Pvt Vyse "Vagabond" Inglebard [ST]
    Pvt Alex "Bird" Raymond [ST]        
    Pvt Cezary "Fox" Regard
    Pvt Marina "Wolf" Wulfsan
    Pvt Karl "Smithy" Landsaat [E]
    Pvt Nadine [E]
    Cpl Fina "Doc" Sellers [M]


 

Chapter 6 is finally here! It’s a wonder if I’m ever going to finish this story at the rate I’m doing things. Lolz. I had originally wanted a lot more stories to be shoved in this particular chapter, but I think all the erotic scenes I was putting into it began to tire me out. They are the most demanding for me in terms of creativity and time. Despite that however I did promise many of such scenes in this chapter the last time I posted something on the site. So….if it’s not too much to ask I think I’m going to exclude all but one or two erotic encounters for the next chapter, mostly to see if it is the erotic stuff that’s slowing me down. Of course it could be many other reason as well. Mt main computer was dead for quite sometime and I was in the process of building a new between the last time I posted and now. I tried to make what little progress I could on my work computer, but as you can imagine that tends to be a pretty bad idea. There was also the option to use my Linux machine, but for some reason I always find something else to do that’s work related on that laptop. So naturally this latest chapter did come out later than expected. At least I didn’t forget about the project again. Lolz

I finally got around to writing an erotic scene with Alicia again. I had presumably held off because I had initially received worries that I was doing Alicia’s character all wrong in multiple aspects. So I decided to default back into the slutty version of her that this composition started off with. The only trouble was is that I had to scrap the scene multiple times. It’s like my mind was fighting itself and asking if this was really the way I wanted Alicia, not to mention I couldn’t find out who I wanted her to fuck for a scene. So naturally she gets used by a few people. I think I’ll use the secret is out, Alicia is a slut excuse from now on and not sweat about it as much as I have. But there was still meant to be many more scenes. I had erotic encounters lined up for FaldioxRosie, WelkinxCherry, OscarxJane, WElkinxSusie I decided to wait for the next one. I even wrote a couple of “Deleted Scenes” I saved a couple too. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to post them on the forum, but maybe I’ll make a chapter on the main site if you guys really want to read my scrapped incomplete work. I doubt it though. But what do I know?

With my new computer I might play games more often on my free time now. Though I did go for a Ryzen build because it benefits my line of work better should I ever want to work at home. I digress.

Hopefully with a little more alcohol I’ll get the next chapter to you guys in a jiffy. After all it’s mainly a battle. If I could forgo the minute details and stick to the only one (at tops two) erotic scenes I can get it to you guys quicker. It’s not like I’m exactly known for my writing quality and proofreading. Lolz. If it does turn out that it’s the erotic parts slowing me down I’ll let you guys know, and you can tell me whether or not yo’re willing to see less of them to increase the rate of release. In hopes that the next installment of this composition is released in a timely fashion I think I’ll get started right away….or maybe I’ll just watch anime, I don’t know. But there is one thing I know; I’ll be drinking tonight regardless of work tomorrow.

Cheers!

-JPR

 

 

Edited by JPR
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest CompleteDomination

As always, glad to see you are still writing this.

Was a bit disappointed Welkin didn’t get any loving this chapter. Several of the scenes too weren’t quite my preference, but you’re casting a very wide net in regards to characters and different fetishes and that is at least something I can get behind even if it means some scenes don’t appeal to me as much as others.

Maximilian is going for Princess Cordelia? That would be a funny reveal for him. A bit shocked he already gave up on Selvaria. While he is a guy that doesn’t tolerate failure, he can’t deny Selvaria’s powers are his greatest bludgeon till he gets Valkof. Although that he is keeping it to himself shows he does realize that and is keeping her on the hook. Otherwise, Maximilian really came across as rather delusional in his belief he’s the chosen of the Valkyrur. While I admit I haven’t ever actually gotten to the end of the game, to my great regret since I’ve gotten past Naggiar like half a dozen times before getting distracted, I always thought of him as a ruthless man indifferent to the legacy of the Valkyrur and merely interested in the power they can grant him. 

Next chapter isn’t going to go well. Selvaria will wreck a good portion of the Gallian forces till the Seven’s manage to distract her by beating Maximilian. Has to happen though, although with Faldio better adapting this chapter to Welkin’s greater success I hope that isn’t all reversed. Looking forward to how you handle the subsequent Cordelia plot, especially if you start making changes and have Maximilian actually start a plot to take her. Jaeger and Selvaria were there undercover in the anime, although how Selvaria could ever be ‘undercover’ is a bit of an stretch. 

As for your thoughts posted here. I would be willing to accept less erotic scenes if it means quicker updates. It’s always a funny situation when an erotic story ends up just being good enough it becomes more important than the ero stuff. Like Eroninja. I skip the sex scenes in that one by this point, and while I’m still reading and enjoying the sex scenes in your story I’m starting to just prefer the story itself...Don’t want all the ero stuff gone though. While the slutty Alicia does seem a bit out of character to me, I don’t mind the change. You can’t have an erotic story without a few people edging onto the slutty side.

Is there a reason you made Welkin prefer blondes?  Now obviously his affair with Varrot shows that isn’t a deal breaker, it was just mentioned several times this chapter. Is it your preference? Just a random preference you gave Welkin to flesh out his desires? Or a false rumor/perception that has spread throughout the squad? It fits well enough with my faves in Audrey and Selvaria (kind of. Silver=blonde?), although Marina I hope is another exception like Varrot.

Not sure what else to comment on. Very much liked the journal entry of the twelve year old girl. Stuff like that is why I’m almost being more drawn to the story than the sex scenes by this point. That, alongside the way to more properly flesh out and portray the military stuff. I’ve already made my OTP pairings clear, although since I have several favorites maybe instead saying my preferred final harem for Welkin is a better way to put it, and suggested several scenes. I can give more if you want it, but for now I’ll simply say I enjoyed the chapter and good luck with the next one.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Golly Gee Wiz Batman! Someone used the Forum! Lolz.

Welkin will certainly get more loving before the end, and the next chapter to be posted – if not, the following – will definitely have one or two sequences with him and a partner. As for your preferences all I can do is apologize. I do realize that I got a little bit more experimental this chapter and that was intentional. It was my attempt at trying to prevent a certain degree of repetitiveness in the erotic scenes within the composition, but if more of the same old isn’t a problem I can keep a little more vanilla in the future. Though I appreciate your understanding of others’ tastes in this matter.

Maximilian does indeed have his sights on Cordelia mainly to have that reveal. Once the secret is out though I’m sure his mind will be changing very quickly. Perhaps you’re right in regards to Maximilian giving up on Selvaria too quickly, but I guess I had meant to make it sound like she never had that chance to begin with. That he was just using her for her abilities to find things out out about the Valkyria and of course her wielding the power of one. I suppose since the last parts of this most recent chapter are short I could see to revising it some and clearing it up a bit. I’m sure I was just in a rush to finish the chapter once hitting the “final stretch” and didn’t think as much as I should have about the last parts with Selvaria and Maximilian. If not that; in this very next chapter I can make Maximilian realize why he put so much faith in her abilities to begin with….Or something like that. As for Maximilian he does end up going a little mad with power by the end and I guess in this composition I wanted that madness to sort of stem from him having some obsession with becoming the godlike figure that the Valkyria are in the past and present, but if that is too much to bite for you and other readers I’ll change that around. Especially since I do really like your interpretation of Maximilian’s character. Also finish the game! It’s fun! Lolz.

Faldio is trying to improve himself as a commander, but as life has taught some of us, no matter how much you strive to improve yourself you can still fail to meet the goal. If you fail to improve as a leader in war people die. Morbid cynicism, but history teaches this time and again. So don’t expect Faldio to be reversing anything with Selvaria swinging a lance around. As for the upcoming Cordelia plot: I don’t think I thought to change the kidnapper to Maximilian, but I could brainstorm it if that seems like a better option. Also, the anime didn’t even really try to make Selvaria ‘undercover’. There are a lot of things a woman can do to change her appearance such as dying hair, applying makeup, switching from an eye-grabbing dress to a more modest one, etc.  Even Jaeger could’ve shaved, worn contacts, changed his haircolor or style and worn a monocle. I’m sure you’ve seen a man with a beard shave all trace of it, even if it’s someone close to you you still need to double check sometimes. Lolz. So I might still make them undercover. 

Quote

It’s always a funny situation when an erotic story ends up just being good enough it becomes more important than the ero stuff.

Are you saying my erotic story is good? Because that’s awesome! Thanks! Now if I can just get the ero stuff down….Because that’s not going anywhere even if I lower the frequency of it. And yeah the more promiscuous characters make it easier for me, but I’ll also try not to overdo it still. You know, to the point where the character is completely lost. Call me out if I do accidentally do that. Or if I’m already doing that….

Quote

Is there a reason you made Welkin prefer blondes?

Let me laugh a little before I answer this…………….Lolz

The short answer is no, and it isn’t my preference either. My preference is more akin to women like Varrot or maybe even Freesia. Probably why she gets a lot of screen time, though to be fair I had meant to make Freesia a bit more of the dominant one in bed, but things change too much while I write. Like I mentioned before, no outlines or character sheets. Welkin sees women through omnivorous eyes (assuming I’ve used that word correctly) so he has no preference. Or at least no known preference. The blonde thing came from a trend I noticed while writing the story. Susie was the first girl he was with and that got known by outsiders at some point, There was Juno who he was good friends with and was obviously in some sort of relationship with. Ellet and him disappeared for a while at Vasel, and probably looked a little disheveled after. so….

Quote

Or a false rumor/perception that has spread throughout the squad?

Bingo! Dino DNA! Just like high school if you remember those years. It’s not his preference and Varrot was no exception. It’s just, to the outside observer, this seems to be the case and thus the consensus throughout the Squad. I just decided to make it somewhat of a running gag was all, and it’s mentioned a few times since Vasel, but perhaps most often in this chapter.

When I had first gotten the idea to write this it was mostly to flesh out that military stuff like you mentioned. So I too very much enjoyed Aisha’s journal entry. These military scenes are the most enjoyable part of my writing experience and I’m happy that shows through my writing, so expect more of it. I never really take the erotic stuff TOO seriously, it’s just an added bonus to have a different type of fun every now and then. That’s why I really see no problem anymore with just experimenting with it or letting some characters seem a little bit more “slutty” or “horny” than the average individual at these points. I don’t know about a Harem ending yet, we’ll see how the story evolves since I’m freestyling it, but ideas are always welcome. I just hope I get them right enough to entertain you and every other reader further.

As always; thank you for reading, and I’ll be working to get you the next one.

-JPR

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest CompleteDomination
17 hours ago, JPR said:

Someone used the Forum! Lolz.

A bit embarrassing, but only doing so because I forgot which email and password I need for my account><. So couldn’t review the actual story.

Don’t change anything, even the ‘experimental’ parts. A story should never exactly fit someone’s tastes, especially a reader’s. The story is great, regardless.

I guess the Maximilian/Selvaria stuff does have a bit of leeway both on portrayal and the practical effects. I meant in my original comment that while I didn’t doubt Maximilian viewed Selvaria as a tool, I didn’t think he already viewed her as a disposable tool. It took Naggiar where she was decisively beaten in a major battle, against another Valkyria, to reach that point, and even then he still bestowed upon her the value the Final Flame would allow in regards to damage it would inflict on his enemies. He seems to have mentally already reached that point here, or that was how I read it as. Although as long as he retains the practicality to keep her on the hook, both degrading her while giving her a ray of hope by saying things like ‘you disappoint me, to only be able to do this much. I expected better...but accomplish this and you might redeem yourself’, his internal opinion of her doesn’t matter. From a practical view, she’s worth more alive and loyal than discarded until the point that the Final Flame becomes necessary or Maximilian gains control of Valkof. So his internal thoughts on her don’t matter until that point. The only difference might be if discarding Selvaria or not is part of the plan once he controls Valkof. His words and use of Selvaria could be exactly the same. I also admit a bit of skepticism that her accomplishments in the next chapter will make Maximilian remember her value. If he does view himself as a superior being and successor to the Valkyrur, his failures in the Batomys (assuming you don’t change the battle too much) are going to stick in his mind. A narcissist is unlikely to accept any failures as his fault. He’ll blame others. So I’d say rather than ‘she saved me’ he’ll more likely think ‘she didn’t do enough, and got me into this position’. Once again, as long as he keeps it together enough to maintain the status quo practically, his internal condemnation of her won’t matter.

I don’t mind Maximilian’s idolization of the valkyrur. He’s clearly aiming to become all-powerful. The only real changes it might have is whether he’d be trying to recover the lost artifacts of the valkyrur to establish himself as their successor, or simply as a calculative man who sees their power and doesn’t care who originally made them. Either works. Same result, right?

I really should finish, since I still count it as one my all-time favorites. Kind of hard to say if I haven’t ever actually finished it. Just like Dragon Age: Inquisition.

I didn’t mean Faldio would pull a reversal on Selvaria. I meant more mentally. The first few chapters you clearly had Faldio be bitter over his losses while Welkin suffered none, and this chapter Faldio seemed to have just gotten over it. So my main hope was that he wouldn’t go back to being bitter again afterwards. Although that might be a fool’s hope.

Maximilian might view ‘kidnapping’ Cordelia as completely unnecessary. As long as he believes the war is his, she’ll fall into his grasp once he takes Randgriz. It could actually be one reason Jaeger and Selvaria help prevent the kidnapping, if you choose to have them still be there. Maximilian strikes me as a guy whose already laid out the full occupational plan to his generals. So they could know he considers Cordelia a valuable prize he intends to claim once victory is theirs. As for their spying, you seem to already be altering battles to be more realistic. Although realistically, both probably wouldn’t be there. I could see Selvaria as being viewed as both disposable, and capable of either escaping if detected or just wiping out enough of Gallia’s leadership to allow an easy takeover. Jaeger last chapter you established as invaluable to Maximilian on the war’s strategic level though. So it depends on your thoughts. While having both, or just Selvaria, be there would be fun, there’s no point doing it if you think it just isn’t realistic or if it only detracts from the story.

The erotic parts are totally fine. It’s just the story parts are fantastic, in my view. 

18 hours ago, JPR said:

he has no preference. Or at least no known preference. The blonde thing came from a trend I noticed

 

18 hours ago, JPR said:

to the outside observer, this seems to be the case and thus the consensus throughout the Squad. I just decided to make it somewhat of a running gag was all

That was my first thought, until I remembered a little piece from an earlier chapter. When Juno thought Alicia might have been with him from an offhand comment, she thought it unlikely as Welkin seemed to prefer almost exclusively blondes based upon their time in university. So I assumed since she already liked him, she had kept an idea of his dating life and noticed a trend. It could just be coincidence though. It would be amusing, if despite not actually having a preference it does become a noticeable trend. Maybe if his dalliances with non-blondes are kept secret-Varrot(secret due to fraternization) or, hopefully, Marina(glares a anyone to opens their mouth till they shut it) while his times with blondes is well known. Especially if it becomes accepted fact to the squad, while Welkin remains clueless. Yeah, I quite like the possibility of it being a running gag.

That’s sort of my exact thoughts about the military/story stuff and the erotic parts. The latter part are fun and allow a bit of a bit more outrageous events without affecting the story, but the former is a bit more important by this point. So good luck, and focus on what you want to focus on.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 year later...

Chapter 07 – Author’s Notes Pt. 1

Well, guess I should probably say some stuff, but given how long I’ve been out of the loop, I don’t really remember what I used to say in these things. So, I’ll show you guys this thing:

1. Zaka, Hannes [8.0 - 8.5+] (6.1 - 6.5+)

2. Faldio, Nils, Maximilian [7.5 - 8.0] (5.7-6.1)

3. Welkin, Largo, Jann, Cezary [7.0 - 7.5] (5.3-5.7)

4. Hermes, Noce, Hector, Walter [6.5 - 7.0] (4.9-5.3)

5. Vyse, Musaad, Salinas, Gregor [6.0 - 6.5] (4.5-4.9)

6. Oscar, Coby, Kevin, Karl(IMP) [5.5 - 6.0] (4.1-4.5)

7. Theold, Mica, Alex, Herbert [5.0 - 5.5] (3.7-4.1)

8. Montley, Karl, Ted, Melville [4.5 - 5.0] (3.3-3.7)

9. Emile, Knute, Homer [4.0 - 4.5] (2.9-3.3)

10. Wavy, Ramal [<3.5 - 4.0] (<2.5-2.9)

If you can’t tell what this is of the bat, it’s a “size” chart. Lolz. I got really bored one day. I realized at some point while analyzing my writing that I never really give explicit penis sizes to my characters, this is because I don’t like when I’m reading a piece of erotic fiction that goes along the lines of “Then I showed her my 9 inch blah blah blah” you get the rest. My reasoning for this is because I don’t know what 9 inches is. Instead of knowing whether it is big, small, or medium, I’m left trying to decipher just how much 9 inches is. It’s not like I keep a ruler next to me at any given time, and even if I did it still wouldn’t give me a complete description of the phallus in question. So I tend to write more in relative terms; big, small, etc. So given the readers experience or understanding of what is big relative to what, they can use their imagination for what the size of a character’s genitals are. That being said, I did realize recently that a lot of author’s do tend to get specific about a size, so I figured there may be a decent part of the population that do care about specifics.

This chart only includes lengths [Erect] and (flaccid), based on a few sources that go into depth about this sort of thing online. Given my sources, it would appear that Gallians (or at least squad 7) are little larger than the worldwide average. Which is fine, since that was my intention.  What its mostly meant for is to show how big a male’s size is relative to the other. So if you prefer the scale in inches, or like me and don’t really care, you just want to know in relative terms, this chart should help.

The only other thing to consider then is the size of the person. For example, Largo and Welkin fall into the same tier, but Largo has a foot of height on Welkin and possibly another hundred pounds in terms of muscle. So despite being the same ‘size,’ largo might appear smaller to the naked eye. This goes for lower tiers as well. Wavy is tall and has an obstinate structure, whereas Ramal is short. Just things to keep in mind. I also understand that depending on your standards, the upper tiers might not be ‘big,’ in which case just use the tiers without the scaling. Likewise, if the lower tiers are not small in your eyes.

Then there is also this:

WelkinxSusie [1]
WelkinxAlicia [2] N/C
IsaraxImperial [3] N/C
IsaraXFetish [4]
WelkinxEllet [5]
FaldioxAlicia [5]
RosiexLargo [5]
Rape of Jane [7]
OscarxJane [7]
RosiexWelkin [7]
RosiexWelkin [8]
WelkinxVarrot [8]
FinaxVyse [9]
JunoxWelkin [9]
EdyxSalinas [9]
ElletxLargo [10]
OscarxCatherine [10] N/C
Alicia4some [11]
DallasRape [11]
RosiexSquad1 [11]
FreesiaxSalinas [11]
WelkinxNatalie [12]
OscarxAika [12]

Which is a complete record of all Sexual encounters so far in the story. Which made me realize some things. Like who raped Dallas? and Who was watching Ellet and Largo getting it on? And the truth is, I don’t know! Probably a result of the time that has passed. Leave ideas about who these culprits were and how they should be dealt with. I made this along with the chart to help me keep record of things as I continue the story. And I am continuing the story.

So what of the future of this story? I am still very committed to wanting to complete this, and if the day ever comes that I change my mind, I will make sure to mention it on this forum, the archive, and the adopt forum to let someone else take it over. I knew this novel length endeavor would be a challenge for an amateur like me, but that’s why I took it on. As a result I have learned new methods, been inspired to write original things, and start new projects, and I hope to actually finish it before I get too much older. With any luck I won’t decide to grab a second job I don’t need on account of being a workaholic as much as an alcoholic. Lolz. But the Gamer in me will always slow things down.

Guess that’s all I have for now, ciao.

Edited by JPR
corrections
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 years later...
Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...