ChironBliss

Billion Dollar Harem

Recommended Posts

Guest ArcherNexus

Great chapter, I love when the focus is on humiliation and degradation. Especially when they fight back like Ariana did here, I do hope she's not done being defiant. 

For me, BDH is at its best when it's dealing with the newcomers and breaking them in. Not a big fan of all the sudden lesbian slutiness and jealousy, I must say.

 

Anyway, looking forward to the next chapter.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Niveral

Getting my “complaint” out of the way first, I would rather see a spanking/paddling/whipping punishment but I agree your way will be VERY effective, not just to Bella but everyone.

I think this was one of your best chapters. All of Emma’s interactions were just perfect – especially with Dove. However i have one question, if you are willing to answer it. Is Emma backing away from her deal with Margot about Cara? I would think not because it makes more sense to me for Emma to rebuild the trust, even just for maintaining the order in the harem.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest ArcherNexus

Something else I forgot to write - I love your choice of girls. Like I wrote before, I wouldn't mind seeing some different types of women (MILF, curvy, black, latina), but I understand you don't want to write about someone you don't find interesting. I wouldn't want to, either. 

Within this category of girls, though, I think you chose very well. If I were to start writing something like this (which I might), my core team would be consist of Emma Watson, Margot Robbie and Kate Beckinsale. I got two out of three here, so that's pretty damn good. 

One more suggestion, you should put more inner dialogue from the girls. I feel like that's something certain scenes are sorely missing. For example, when Alex is breaking in Ariana, it would add to the humiliation aspect if we could hear her thoughts at the moment, her fear, anger, shame and disbelief. "Blackmail of Sarah Walker" nailed that part, in case you're looking for an example. A lot of it is told from her perspective and it works beautifully. 

Also, when it comes to newcomers, I'd like to see Alex humiliate them more verbally while he's doing things to them. There's been some of that, but I'd like to see more. Maybe referencing something in their careers and private lives and using it against them. Insulting their talents or work, stuff like that. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Sazbi

Loved the reunion of Emma and Chloe, but wonder what scenario will Emma need or want to use the code word for Toy.  Can’t wait for Ariana’s and Taylor’s punishments, not much for the guard haha. With Dove participating on Ariana, will Ariana hold it against her?  Definitely can’t wait for the next chapter!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Niveral
9 minutes ago, TimeofAngels said:

you can edit your own posts

No, you can’t if you are not logged in. (guest mode)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Tay

I really like the story and punishments. Though i’d admit I mainly just read it for the Taylor Swift parts, but that’s all good aswell. It is nice to see there’s a bit for everyone. :kittenmeow:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 6/13/2018 at 6:46 AM, Mal said:

TimeofAngels: If 50 shades has no subplot or character development, it baffles me how it ever got on the NY Times Bestseller list… I guess that’s something so say about horny housewives sitting at home alone all day with nothing to do but tickle the little man in the pink canoe… lol… Again, I really appreciate the compliment that my work could come anywhere close to that level of success. I love keeping things fresh, trying new ideas out and at least attempting to keep the readers on their toes with unexpected plot lines. I only hope that one day I can produce a work that actually makes me some of that $$$$! As to your favorite Brit...I get those others, but Jenna Coleman… really? Isn’t she widely regarded as the worst of the Doctor’s companions? She’s cute, I suppose that is true, but I honestly think Felicity Jones, Emma Watson and Cara Delevingne are way more attractive… What do you think about Alexina Graham, the VS supermodel? She’s from Nottingham and I think she’s super fine.

Clara is my favourite character in Doctor Who. Most people either love her or hate her which is a good sign of an amazing character. I also really liked Rosie in Dancing on the Edge and I found Lindsay appealing in Waterloo Road. In addition I’ve found Jenna herself reasonably attractive on various interviews. As for Alexina Graham I neither like nor dislike her. If anyone wrote about her and gave her a character I’d probably find her attractive because she’s young and healthy and most importantly i have a good impression of her personality. Its the same reason I find Chloe, Bella, Taylor, Margot and Cara attractive because of how you’ve written them and their young and healthy. I don’t find Felicity appealing at all despite the fact that you have made her a character. The problem with Felicity is the character you’ve given her is contradictory to The Unicorn from Doctor Who whom I found slightly appealing. I only read BDH because it had Emma Watson in. If I was writing it I would have chosen different celebrity's none of whom are over 27 at whatever time its set.

Edited by TimeofAngels

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
You are commenting as a guest. If you have an account, please sign in.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.