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Evaluate Samantha, Cameron


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I'd like to get her profile ironed out before I get too far into my fic. I know where I want to go with her, but am always seeking validation.

Fandom: Original

Name of character: Samantha

Race of character: Human

Age of character: 33

Height of character: Average

Weight of character: Anorexically thin, later shifting to an athletic build

Brief background of character: Samantha lived a normal life as a wife and mother-of-three. She was the only survivor of a car accident, and blames herself for her family's, citing an argument caused by her near-infidelity as the cause. She has lost all passion for life, and this begins her exploitation by a criminal organization.

Character's position or job: Housewife turned unwitting criminal

Strengths/Skills: Clear understanding of the human condition, charismatic

Weaknesses/Bad habits: No sense of self-preservation, overly empathetic, aggressive to the obscene, easily manipulated

Distinctive features, if any: None, particularly. She is startlingly attractive, yet not overly beautiful

How does your character get on with those around him/her?: Samantha interacts well with most people on a casual level. However, when deeper relationships evolve, she is unable to correctly connect with others. She becomes either overly emotionally attached or extremely aggressive and standoffish.

What does the other characters think of your character when they met her/him?: Most characters think little of her upon first meeting her. They would describe her as friendly and easy to be around. She blends in quite well, and if often quickly forgotten.

Only a few characters notice her in a more personal way, and her relationship with them is often strained due to her emotional disturbances. Characters personally involved with her would describe her as loyal, flighty, suicidal and high-strung.

Edited by Altari
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Fandom: Original

Name of character: Cameron

Race of character: Human

Age of character: 36

Height of character: Tall

Weight of character: Well muscled

Brief background of character: Cameron has a deep appreciation for beautiful women, and could never leave one that interested him alone. He grew close to Samantha during the course of his friendship with the family. This closeness led to an attraction that prompted him to make advances on her.

Character's position or job: Corporate marketing executive

Strengths/Skills: Martial arts, smooth talker, fierce determination

Weaknesses/Bad habits: Alcoholic, womanizer, selfish, easily depressed

Distinctive features, if any: Golden blonde hair and deep blue eyes

How does your character get on with those around him/her?: Cameron is overbearing and pushy. While most people give in easily to his good looks and smooth speech, when someone doesn't, he does whatever necessary to get his way.

What does the other characters think of your character when they met her/him?: Women think of him as a "Greek God" and are awed by his good looks. Once they know him better, they are often put off by his abrasive demeanor, but are already hooked on a sexual level. Men view him as competition initially, hating him for his good looks. However, they are more easily swayed by his air of an easy-going nature. Neither group expects the levels he will stoop to get what he wants, or the ease at which his mood swings from pleasant to angry to depressed.

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Analysing characters from these short profiles really is fraught with difficulty, since you don't have the story around the characters, and that really makes a big difference. It can be very easy to get the wrong idea about the characters from these. What looks crap in a profile like this might work great in the story; alternatively, what looks great here could be rubbish in the story. It all comes down to how the author is able to tell the story and flesh out the character. And I'm also a believer of the story dictating the character to a large degree, rather than the other way around.

That being said, the one problem I have with Samantha is her description: "She is startlingly attractive, yet not overly beautiful". That to me is a real contradiction. If she's startling attractive then she IS overly beautiful. Attractive and beautiful are essentially different ways to describe the same thing. If you're dead set on keeping that description then you'll really need to be extremely good with your explanation in the story for it to make sense.

With Cameron... he's described as "overbearing and pushy" as well as "easy-going". To me, they clash somewhat. If he initially comes across as easy-going but then his overbearing personality makes itself known, then fair enough. But it sounds like he's still coming across as easy-going after the other characters have gotten to know him, yet also overbearing and pushy. So again, you'd really need to explain that extremely well in the story for it to work. Also, this: "While most people give in easily to his good looks and smooth speech..." I assume you primarily mean women? Because his good looks wouldn't make most straight men give in. You mention later that men initially hate his good looks, so I'm assuming that does refer to women. If you wanted men to give in then you'd need more than smooth speech; you'd need him to be charming on some level, otherwise his overbearing and pushy nature would quickly push guys away.

As I said, it really depends on how you write these characters with a fully fleshed-out story around them. Good luck with it. <_<

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I knew there would be issues with profiles. I really kind of hate doing them, anyway.

If she's startling attractive then she IS overly beautiful

There are many women out there are very "striking" that don't necessarily fall under the "beautiful" category. How I mean it is, she is more than simply "pleasant" looking, enough that people will take notice, but will not qualify, by any stretch, at beautiful.

With Cameron... he's described as "overbearing and pushy" as well as "easy-going".

It's an "air" of an easy-going demeanor. He puts on a good show, but he isn't as friendly as he leads people to believe. The act of being "easy-going" is another aspect of his overbearing nature.

Also, this: "While most people give in easily to his good looks and smooth speech..." I assume you primarily mean women? Because his good looks wouldn't make most straight men give in.

This actually isn't true. Men are just as likely as women to respond well to an attractive man. Beautiful people, whether male or female, get their way more often than unattractive persons.

That being said, I know I haven't set the bar low. These two characters have been flitting around my head for quite some time. They're both full of apparent contradictions and incompatibilities, but aren't we all? They've kind of taken on a life of their own in my brain, and I'm having trouble doing them justice through words.

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I do have to rather disagree with you regarding a good looking man's effects on other men. Most guys that come into contact with an unknown but good looking guy is more often than not likely to initially respond with some level of caution, wondering if he's just a pretty boy, or a jerk. If the good looking guy then proves to be charming, that's different, most guys would react warmly to him then. But looks alone will NOT be enough to make most men simply give in. It truly does take more than that, believe me. Good looking men and women are more likely to get their way not just because of their looks, but because of their looks AND charm, even if that charm only lasts long enough for them to get what they want. It won't make a blind bit of difference how good looking a person is if they're also complete arseholes. B)

But you're right, most people have contradictions to some degree - I know I do - and these characters might work just fine with a well written story around them. If the contradictions are too stark, though, then the story - and your writing - really will have to be extremely well written for it to not put people off. You probably should just get stuck into it and write your story and see how it all turns out. If it doesn't turn out quite the way you wanted then you can go over it again and do some serious editing to get it the way you want. :D

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