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Kotoamatsukami [Responses to Reviews]


BitterNTR

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Original thread from which Kotoamatsukami came from: http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/index.php/topic/62675-older-man-lover-kushina/

This thread will be here to respond to reviews left on the story: Kotoamatsukami, which can be found here.

http://naruto.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600105962

Edited by BitterNTR
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Anon: I'm kind of hoping that Danzo whores Kushina out to a nobleman for political capital, at some point. I'm not sure why, but it just seems like it's be really hot.

Response: I intend on making it happen however chances are that it will only occur when she is much older.

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Anon: The byakugan can see through it as it is conformed in cannon

Response: And what's your point? The Byakugan only saw through it because it saw behind Danzo's bandages and Aoi recognised Shisui's chakra signature. If Danzo didn't get caught even once while in the village with Hyuuga members, why would this matter?

David15: great update any posobility that we can have a sceen where Danzo deflowers one of the Root girls?

Response: Chances are high. But I wouldn't hold my breath since I tend to rewrite most things if I feel that it doesn't flow right.

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Anon: I have a question, since Kushina has the Kyuubi sealed in her, doesn't that mean it will notice the Kotoamatsukami? Or is it under the effects too? Because if it is then Danzo will have his very own Tailed Beast wrapped around his finger.

Response: I'd like to think of it this way. If Madara outright challenged the Kyuubi and hypnotised him with the Sharingan, surely he'd know.

But since Kotoamatsukami is a subtle Genjutsu, he might be on guard after sensing the Sharingan being used but calms down afterwards since he and Kushina are not under hypnosis, not even realising that Kotoamatsukami has taken place.

So yes. I'd like to think of him as being under the influence of the Sharingan as well.

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Anon: Your timeline is messed up for one, plus a Byakugan can see past the Kotomatsukami and the Kotomatsukami can be shaken off quite easily when the user finds out

Response: Firstly, AU.

Secondly, read the post above regarding the Byakugan.

Thirdly, it is not outright stated that it is easily shaken off once the victim finds out. Perhaps Danzo turned it off on Mifune when he got caught. You don't know. Itachi was under the effect of Kotoamatsukami as well. And he knew he was under the effect of it since he was the one who implanted the crow with Shisui's eye into Naruto and was the one who gave the command, but why didn't he snap out of it? He was clearly aware of it.

I hope that's enough of a compelling defence to change your mind.

Edited by BitterNTR
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Anon: A good start!

The writing is solid, it doesn't rush and it features Kushina!

There is never enough Kushina!

Response: Thank you for your compliments. And I agree wholeheartedly with your last sentence.

Edited by BitterNTR
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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

I've been gone for quite some time since real life takes priority over writing smut for strangers on the internet (especially without getting paid), so please understand why I haven't updated in so long. Work has kept me quite busy and I've been rewriting the next chapter of Kotoamatsukami for quite a while. Didn't like how it was flowing before but now I've got around 2K words down. It's about (I would say almost halfway) done and I'll post it when it's done.

Tell me how many words you guys would like to see in a chapter, or how much words you'd like a chapter to be. It could be useful for me to format my stories.

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Just like to say that the newest chapter (3) has been put up.

http://naruto.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600105962&chapter=3

Review and tell me what you think of it. Any meaningful advice is always welcome.

Also, I'm kind of wondering if more people are willing to contribute more ideas to my story. I've already got a few chapters planned out that are vital to Kushina's growth as a character in this story, but more would be better. Any ideas at all would be fantastic and could possibly even help me write an even better story. Who knows? Maybe your idea is better than mine. I'll be sure to credit you in the chapter if I do take your idea though.

Here's a few main plot points that I will cover eventually.

-Training and educating Kushina.
-Kumo Kidnapping.
-Chunin Exams.
-Seduction/Assassination Missions.
-Third Shinobi World War.

-Rise to Hokage

Edited by BitterNTR
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BROODWARRIOR : I have to say I like where this is going when Kumo does kidnap Kushina is she going to fight them off and not get taken or will she be taken and most likely be raped by them before she is saved by Root.

Response: Thank you. Well, when Kumo does eventually kidnap Kushina, she'll be prepared for them but she may not be strong enough to take on all of them by herself when she's all bound up. Let's just say that she'll have to somehow get their guards down.

Edited by BitterNTR
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Anon: The preg tag implies Kushina will get pregnant. What role will Naruto (or Naruko) have in your story ?

Response: Well, as of yet, I haven't exactly planned out if it will either be Naruto or Naruko. Nor who their father will be. Hoping to see if anyone wants to contribute any ideas regarding this and their opinions.

If she does get impregnated by someone else (ie, Danzo), they'll have red hair. If it is Naruko, she'll be trained just like Kushina. If she is Danzo's daughter, I guess I'll add an incest tag since he'll be breaking and educating her like he will for Kushina. If it's Naruto, he'll just go through the standard procedures as a Root Shinobi.

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Yuuya26: At the plot points you stopped at Rise to hokage, are you going to finish the story after that or are you going to write some of the things from the anime??

Response: Not too sure as of yet. There can still be plenty of thing in-between and after that arc, which is why I'm asking for ideas and contributions from fans who would like to see more. Even if I do end things off there, I can still add more chapters afterwards detailing parts of her past or perhaps missions I made hints to but never really delved deep into.

Not exactly sure just what else I can incorporate into the story when you say 'write some of the things from the anime'. So if you can, responding to this and telling me what you mean would be great.

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I mean some of the missions that we saw on the anime like the Wave arc. For example Tazuna asks Kushina (if she is Hokage by that time) to give him a team so they can escort him to Wave never saying anything about the people that are after him, but Kushina already knows about the situation in Wave country and she reveal that, Tazuna seeing that he cant lie anymore starts begging her to help him saying that he will do anything. There Kushina sees an opportunity so she seduce him so he will ally his country with Konoha and give all the missions to them (or whatever you can think). On the other hand if you do that mission before Kushina becomes the Hokage then you can send her with Tazuna and her mission from Danzo would be to seduce Gato so they can take over his business and wealth. There are other arcs but i dont remember all of them.

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I mean some of the missions that we saw on the anime like the Wave arc. For example Tazuna asks Kushina (if she is Hokage by that time) to give him a team so they can escort him to Wave never saying anything about the people that are after him, but Kushina already knows about the situation in Wave country and she reveal that, Tazuna seeing that he cant lie anymore starts begging her to help him saying that he will do anything. There Kushina sees an opportunity so she seduce him so he will ally his country with Konoha and give all the missions to them (or whatever you can think). On the other hand if you do that mission before Kushina becomes the Hokage then you can send her with Tazuna and her mission from Danzo would be to seduce Gato so they can take over his business and wealth. There are other arcs but i dont remember all of them.

Interesting points. I'll try and see if I can incorporate it into the story as a future chapter after 'Rise to Hokage'. I'll be sure to credit you for your contribution.

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Anon: Great chapter (and story)!

I like that you don't just rush to the 'naughty' parts, there are tons of storys like that already, and instead take the time to develope the plot (which is lacking, or even entirely missing, in 90% of the stories on this site) properly.

I wonder though, since kushina was said to have a rather cheery/happy/etc. personality in canon on how it will conflict with the 'darker' aspects of root. Will she be forced to obey because of the command from danzo but hate it, or will she develope a different personality compared to canon?

Hope to see an update soon,

cheers.

Response: I'm glad you enjoy the slow development. Rushing things to get to the naughty bits can be nice and all, but I feel that rushing should only be used for one-shots and such. But I'll be having a few timeskips here and there soon to speed things up.

As already mentioned in the first chapter, Kushina will keep her emotions instead of being like a Root robot. However, she will be serious, calm and cold (like a Root robot) when she needs to be. She may even fake her emotions in order to manipulate people as well. But she will have nothing but utter loyalty to Danzo and will love obeying him, especially since he's building relationships with her as well as the Kotoamatsukami still being in effect.

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Drake Darkduke: Honestly, I must admit that I never thought to review, simply because I'm accostumed to FF.net where the review bar is immediately accessible once you finish the last sentence, so anything I'd wish to say was still fresh.



I am sorry if this has in anyway brought you to believe that I am not interested in reviewing.


Still, I am hoping to see more of this,



Drake Darkduke.



Response: Don't worry about it. I totally get what you mean. I am glad that you took the time to review once you realised this though. Really means a lot.



I'll deliver the next chapter as soon as I can.


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Anon: Awesome story, can't wait to see what happens next! Keep up the good work and will Kushina get raped in this fic?

Response: Thanks for the compliment. And yes, she will be raped. I'll leave you guessing when she will be.

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C_Wade: Hey there again, (this time logged in and not as anon)



I'm glad to see that you are still taking things slowly, as you already said, rushing to the naughty bits can be fun but it doesn't really have a place in multi-chapter stories that at least have a semblance of a plot.



Although I have to admit that I enjoyed the 'teasing' scene. Just to be clear, Kushina's age should be around 12-13? Or did you change it (or am I wrong)?



I also liked Danzou's way of explaining the realities of the shinobi world, and his distaste for 'pampered civilians'. I wonder what he would say to Sakura?



Regarding your Idea for Kushina's possible future genin, I already wrote a small post in your discussion thread but I fell like I need to clarify some tings (and since I'm already here I'll just do it in my review).



I think I misunderstood the point at first, to me it sounded like you wanted Kushina to train a partner, for herself, but I guess I was wrong about that. Personally, I am still favouring a boy student, now however mostly because I have a thing for Kushina sleeping with her younger male students, instead of anything practical.



If you do decide on a female student I would prefer Yuugao or Rin. Yuugao because I think hers and Kushina's skill sets mesh rather well, and Rin because she is a rare character, you barely see any stories with her making more than a guest appearance or a single lemon chapter.



Also, don't worry so much about the lazy readers. Most are probably too busy jacking off to reviews idk... or maybe they just lack common courtesy...



Anyways I hope you won't be busy for too long, as I am really enjoying your story. Hope to see and update soon.




Cheers,



C_Wade.



Response: I'm happy that you agree with me. I didn't really think many on this site would, but I'm quite pleased to say that I've gotten no flames so far. And yes. Kushina is around that age. Didn't change it.



And I'd like to thank you for your contribution to the 'student' question. Always great to get ideas and opinions from readers since it helps with writing future chapters. Long, positive reviews like yours are always great to read.



Glad to know that you enjoy it so far, and I hope I can return ASAP to continue.


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  • 5 months later...
  • 3 years later...

Are you going to update it??? I love the concept of Danzo and Kushina... Specially, if she marries Minato but cuckolds him with the son/daughter of Danzo... Danzo controls Konoho from the shadow... 

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