Red_Light_Zone Posted July 19, 2018 Report Share Posted July 19, 2018 How's Toon Town Tumble? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Praetor Posted July 19, 2018 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2018 I think it’s pretty good. Probably my best narration wise anyways despite it being unstructured- oh, you meant how’s it progressing. Haven’t gotten anywhere. It’s flow is a little less preordained like my other works. Still working out what the best lemon will be for another chapter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red_Light_Zone Posted July 19, 2018 Report Share Posted July 19, 2018 4 hours ago, Praetor said: I think it’s pretty good. Probably my best narration wise anyways despite it being unstructured- oh, you meant how’s it progressing. Haven’t gotten anywhere. It’s flow is a little less preordained like my other works. Still working out what the best lemon will be for another chapter. Well, if you want my personal opinion, I'd keep the lemon light and work on the man's current predicament. Seeing as how he's now a over exaggerated caricature of Masculine beauty made flesh, it'd be neat to the repercussions of that. Also, can you offer some advice to a man writing his own story? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Praetor Posted July 20, 2018 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2018 I was just going to do a poolside session with Jessica and Holli Would but if you want character study, I guess I can work that in. As for advice, I guess I could try. Keep the perspective consistant, develop a ‘voice’ unique to you, and avoid repetition in verbiage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gmon1 Posted July 20, 2018 Report Share Posted July 20, 2018 what's the story you want to work on the most? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Praetor Posted July 20, 2018 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2018 Well, I am well past the point where enthusiasm and love of the craft is enough to motivate me and every project just feels like a chore. So the technical answer is none, I just want to watch Hulu and play the new God of War game I got months ago and haven’t touched. But, as Mark Twain once said, everyone wants to have written but no one wants to write, so I persist through the tedium. Which is also why I am partially dependent on reader response to direct my efforts. It’s also why I run several projects at once, to jokey whenever I get bored but I fear I have become too dispersed and really need to focus on a couple. Incidentally I started on the next chapter of Spellbound and accidentally wrote half of it in one sitting ,so I guess that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strange_idea Posted July 20, 2018 Report Share Posted July 20, 2018 I'm sorrt to hear that. You're a very good writer and deserve to feel rewarded by your work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Praetor Posted July 20, 2018 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2018 It’s not a bad thing, it’s just the nature of the beast. Enthusiasm and a good idea will only get you so far and there comes a point where you really have to start working at it. I’m actually glad I got this far, fan fiction sites are littered with the graves of promising fics that never got more than one chapter despite author insistence that there will be more to come (like my Overwatch and Harry Potter fics). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strange_idea Posted July 20, 2018 Report Share Posted July 20, 2018 (edited) I’ve seen that happen too many times to count. thank you for keeping at it. I had a maybe idea for spellbook. Raven accidentally releasing the emoticlones, possibly in her sleep, and they seek out more girls to play with. This could be done a few ways. By doing it in their sleep, having mood-appropriate dreams and planting ideas in their head for later. by possesing them, filling them with that emotion and lust or beast boy, causing them to come to him or if the spell is broken, again planting the idea in their head. Sloth is the only one who remains, to deisract beast boy by sleeping on him. another idea, terra could be brought back to life using the ‘flesh-giving’ properties of the spell, but treated like a pet, and gven petrified time outs for misbehaving. they are only temporary though, as the spell kicks in again restoring her to flesh… and causing her to expans all over as petrifyng her shrinks her once more. thus she is exposed to constant bursts of pleasure. Alternatively, Raven could fake a (very erotic) duel with her over beast boy and deliberately loose, so she gets to be beastboy’s girl… and then declare since he belongs to HER so does she. Edited July 20, 2018 by Strange_idea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Praetor Posted July 20, 2018 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2018 The flesh giving nature of the spell is an interesting angle but it’s set after the events of Things Change so the Terra statue has already disappeared. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strange_idea Posted July 20, 2018 Report Share Posted July 20, 2018 ah well. thank you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Praetor Posted July 21, 2018 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2018 Well that was quick. Got another chapter of Spellbound out. Sometimes everything just flows easier. At around 18 pages, half of which is the lemon, it’s also one of the longer ones I have made recently, oddly enough. So much for the ‘burned out’ excuse. That sounds like too much, too quickly to me so tell me what you think, if you found any mistakes and what you want to see next. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Milky milky Posted July 21, 2018 Report Share Posted July 21, 2018 Great chapter! Could argent use her constructs to have some dp action? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Praetor Posted July 21, 2018 Author Report Share Posted July 21, 2018 I planned on having Raven create a dark magic strap on during moresomes so I guess Argent could do so as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gmon1 Posted July 22, 2018 Report Share Posted July 22, 2018 So what was Starfire's outfit based on? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Praetor Posted July 22, 2018 Author Report Share Posted July 22, 2018 Her standard outfit from the cartoon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Milky milky Posted July 28, 2018 Report Share Posted July 28, 2018 Is hcg going to fuck Harley or a different infected women Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Praetor Posted July 28, 2018 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2018 More than likely. Is there anyone in particular you’d like to see? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Milky milky Posted July 28, 2018 Report Share Posted July 28, 2018 Well starfire has already been infected i was thinking a three way with her and Harley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Praetor Posted July 29, 2018 Author Report Share Posted July 29, 2018 That could be the lemon for the next chapter. I am leaning towards Wonder Woman eventually being her OTP but haven’t gotten there yet. I am halfway done with the next chapter of Spellbound. I know, my last two updates have been for that but the ball is rolling and I don’t want to stop it. Besides, the Teen Titans Go movie just dropped so I feel like I should put something on the shelf to siphon some popularity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Harley fan Posted July 29, 2018 Report Share Posted July 29, 2018 I love your other stories I’m just missing the degradation of mad love Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Praetor Posted July 31, 2018 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2018 All right, new chapter of Spellbound. I don’t know if Spellbound fatigue is setting in but I am definitely feeling a flow on that. Started on the next chapter of Mad Love, but I also have the beginnings of another Omniharem and Naruko’s Pact. Which one I double down on is up in the air, provided I don’t power through another Spellbound. Please read and review, and chime in with thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strange_idea Posted July 31, 2018 Report Share Posted July 31, 2018 that reminds me, i read toon town tumble a few days ago and it is a very different style, you’re right. it’s quite good, and show a lot of interesting thoughts on the situation and self awareness, and i can tell there’s going to be a lot of attention to character and that there’s some growth coming. The moment where jjessica reflects on her age was quite striking, though i did feel it was brushed over a bit much. The uses of the toon are pretty humorous and you’ve fit them to their personalities quite well. i really appreciate that, thank you. hough you did lose me at parts, but i think that’s just a formatting thing and mostly on my part. sorry, large collections of text do that to me, and i don;t know how to change the font size on the site to make the paragraphs clearer. That said the language in the tory and sex scenes was a bit different, the characters could have a bit of a clearer motivation for connecting so quickly (i do get that he’s eddie’s grandson, but is that the reason she’s letting him stay with her or he ‘wanted to meet’ her? and if so it seems odd he just happened to come to town. this could be a very good reason i just feel it needs to be a bit clearer if it’s the case) and i do have to ask, which bass met his end? And also, the spy vs spys don’t come back cartoon style even in their own comic, it was originally cold war parody propoganda, the agency just finds a new guy to send each time the old one dies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Praetor Posted August 1, 2018 Author Report Share Posted August 1, 2018 (edited) Bass is just a name picked out of a hat, the implication being that he was a friend who perished in an unfortunate and grizzly accident involving a military vehicle. The experience, and others like it, numbed him to sci fi action and cartoon violence. I was experimenting with a more lucid style of prose and I guess I wasn’t clear enough. I kind of caved near the end. As much as I like focusing on characterization, pacing and setting, this is still primarily a smut fic. While not Porn Without Plot, it’s at least a Porn Guided Plot. Edited August 1, 2018 by Praetor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strange_idea Posted August 1, 2018 Report Share Posted August 1, 2018 (edited) true enough. thank you, and good work. If i might suggest, I think i can ease the flow in a few places. you could have him reflect on stories he heard from his grandfather when he first sees Jessica (without revealing his name yet), or have her come over because she swears she’s seen him before (or both). from there she becomes curious how she knows him, makes a few guess among small talk and eventually hits on it, and is sad afterwards. dhe gets quiet and leaves for a while then meets him outside the bar and notices he isn’t going anywhere, so she asks where he’s headed. when he doesn’t know, she thinks and offers to take her with him, saying it might be nice to have a ‘valiant’ man to talk to again. that also explains her telling him so much about her life, she’s trying to impress the family of an old friend….. and if they start talking about grandpa it can be an awkward subject so you naturally shift to talking about the lead, then Jessica while they head to her place. then you can make their night together about her needing some comfort after being struck and overwhelmed by the news and introspection. Edited August 1, 2018 by Strange_idea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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