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The Best Job in the Wizarding World - Sirius or Harry Idea


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Besides being the judge of an All-Veela Wet T-Shirt Competition, that is.

For the right kind of wizard (not Filch), the post of Caretaker of Hogwarts can be a dream job. Free room and board, the House Elves take care of all the cleaning...and there's a never-ending procession of nubile, horny teenage witches to sample.

Patrolling the halls after dark, misbehaving witches you catch breaking curfew could end up bent over a desk in the nearest classroom and railed for an hour or two, or screwed in the Prefect's bathroom, before being escorted back to their dorm.

And those witches whose detentions you have to supervise may prefer to, for example, drop to their knees and polish your knob for a bit, instead of polishing trophies for hours on end.

Searching for contraband in the older students' luggage, you can take note of the ladies who brought slutty underwear or sleepwear. Maybe turn a blind eye to the odd bit of prohibited goods in exchange for a tumble between the sheets...or behind the quidditch stands.

Sirius would be a great option for caretaker, starting in an AU fourth year where Pettigrew was captured at the end of Prisoner of Azkaban. He amuses himself immensely with some of the older girls, particularly the Beauxbatons witches visiting for the tournament (including their veela Champion), but in the years after that he plows the vast majority of the hot witches in and around Harry's age group.

Making an older Harry the caretaker (maybe he takes a year or two off from his Auror career) is a little trickier, since you have to make up most of the girls...though there's bound to be a few daughters to people he went to school with roaming Hogwarts. Fleur's eldest daughter, Victoire, for one. Though the Weasleys sent a lot of daughters to Hogwarts after her; Fleur's younger daughter Dominique, Hermione's daughter Rose, and Angelina's daughter Roxanne, for instance. Could be some of those girls have crushes on their studly Uncle Harry.

Maybe his daughter Lily doesn't want to be left out of the fun games, too...

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Guest kudoshinichi

Besides being the judge of an All-Veela Wet T-Shirt Competition, that is.

For the right kind of wizard (not Filch), the post of Caretaker of Hogwarts can be a dream job. Free room and board, the House Elves take care of all the cleaning...and there's a never-ending procession of nubile, horny teenage witches to sample.

Patrolling the halls after dark, misbehaving witches you catch breaking curfew could end up bent over a desk in the nearest classroom and railed for an hour or two, or screwed in the Prefect's bathroom, before being escorted back to their dorm.

And those witches whose detentions you have to supervise may prefer to, for example, drop to their knees and polish your knob for a bit, instead of polishing trophies for hours on end.

Searching for contraband in the older students' luggage, you can take note of the ladies who brought slutty underwear or sleepwear. Maybe turn a blind eye to the odd bit of prohibited goods in exchange for a tumble between the sheets...or behind the quidditch stands.

Sirius would be a great option for caretaker, starting in an AU fourth year where Pettigrew was captured at the end of Prisoner of Azkaban. He amuses himself immensely with some of the older girls, particularly the Beauxbatons witches visiting for the tournament (including their veela Champion), but in the years after that he plows the vast majority of the hot witches in and around Harry's age group.

Making an older Harry the caretaker (maybe he takes a year or two off from his Auror career) is a little trickier, since you have to make up most of the girls...though there's bound to be a few daughters to people he went to school with roaming Hogwarts. Fleur's eldest daughter, Victoire, for one. Though the Weasleys sent a lot of daughters to Hogwarts after her; Fleur's younger daughter Dominique, Hermione's daughter Rose, and Angelina's daughter Roxanne, for instance. Could be some of those girls have crushes on their studly Uncle Harry.

Maybe his daughter Lily doesn't want to be left out of the fun games, too...

love the idea

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