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Sci-Fi Story Sacrifices


Concepcion33

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This will be the area for review responses. Here's a link to the story.

http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600107783

Updates will be every Monday. This story may remind some of my older readers of Salaciousness, namely because the Akadians are so insular. I had a lot of fun writing it, as I hope you all will have fun reading it.

Edit: Reviews Chapter 1

deedee: I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, just a heads up, it does take a few chapters before Gael and Ari meet. To remedy that I will be posting two chapters a week, and then it will slow down to one. I clearly posted two chapters in one night, but will probably go with a Monday and Wednesday upload for next week, let me know what you guys would prefer.

Tahn: I'm glad you liked the start. =)

Reviews Chapter 2

deedee: yes, it was a one two punch for updates. =)

ssn: Thank you for the review.

smint45: It's always nice to attract new people to a specific genre.

abhila and Moku_Sui: two reviewers from my last story, welcome back!

Rukia Isaioi: I don't write tragedy's' so you don't have to worry. All of my stories (if I complete them) have a happy ending. As for your other question, it does get explained in the story. In a few chapters Gael will be speaking to Ari about it.

Anon: I am working without a beta. No matter how many times I preview something, I'll still miss a couple typos. You can feel free to point them out to me if you think they detract from the story too much. And you're right, there are some very emotional moments ahead for these characters.

Thirdly: You'll need to be patient for a few more chapters but I hope you'll think it was worth the wait.

Reviews Chapter 3

Tahn: You're not wrong about that.

Thirdly: Thank you for the detailed review. You are also correct on some of your assumptions, keep reading to find out which ones. ;)

smint45: I'm glad you like the fast updates, ( it's mostly because I have 90% of the story already complete) but be warned, they will eventually slow down to one update a week.

Rukia Isaioi: You are very astute to the fine details. Your question will be answered in Chapter 4

Moku_Sui: Okay, I'm assuming you want to be spoiled, they don't meet until Chapter 6.

Reviews Chapter 4

Oh2Bwriting: Another reviewer from my previous story, thank you for joining me with this one.

deedee: unfortunately Ari won't be happy he got caught, at least not initially.

Zas: I'm glad you like the story.

smint45: I appreciate your loyal reviews.

Moku_Sui: That wasn't that bad of a cliff hanger compared to the ones ahead, what are you talking about? =p

Thirdly: Jakred does seem to be a character that's fit for spankings doesn't he? hehe.

Reviews Chapter 5

smint45 and Tahn: Thank you for your continued support. =)

Anon: I had warned you about the emotional scenes ahead.

Rukia Isaioi: They meet very soon!

Moku_Sui: Coen had been gunning for Ari for a long time, and with the money falling into his hand after Ari's attempted escape, it allowed him to take out all that anger on Ari.

anon-ish and MiriuOniaya: New reviewers, I'm glad you're enjoying the story.

deedee: There is absolutely no tie to Singularity and Sacrifices. But the Akadians have their own healing system as you'll see in Chapter 6. I'm glad you think the story is addicting. To tell you the truth, I had so much fun writing it. But I've written stories in the past that I was excited about that didn't take off. So, I'm pleasantly surprised by the positive responses I've received so far.

Thirdly: you are absolutely right, Thane/Ari can't catch a break, as you'll see when more shit continues to hit the fan in future chapters. ;)

Lavi1443: New reviewer, thank you for your support! =)

QueenAyame109: New reviewer! It's funny, your review came in as I'm getting ready to upload Chapter 6!

Reviews Chapter 6

Tahn, smint45 and Moku_Sui: Thank you for your continued support!

Semaya: new reviewer! I really like HEA's too.

QueenAyame109: We're getting closer to the once a week uploads, perhaps after I upload Chapter 8. I think a lot of people didn't realize that they got six chapters all in one week. And I actually worked 50 hours at my job last week! hehe.

tiddlybitts: Yay, new reviewer! I'm sorry, what's tapas?

Thirdly: I always look forward to your reviews because I know they'll be detailed! =) As for the reincarnation part, Demarcus had explained how it worked for the Akadians in Chapter 2, here's a snippet;

Reincarnation was never a guarantee, and when it did occur it was not an exact science. Sometimes a person's consciousness could return to a body that looked nothing like the original, or even be in a different sex. Sometimes an identical body would return but the consciousness would not. Rarely did the person's consciousness and exact body ever return at the same time.

So basically, in this case, when someone is reincarnated in body, they don't have the memories of the original person, they could have the same personality, but it doesn't equal the memories thus the consciousness. I hope that made sense, hehe.

Chapter 7 Reviews

Moku_Sui: Good questions, but you'll just have to keep reading to find out. =)

Tahn: The person that was after Thane has not been officially introduced yet.

smint45: I think you reviewed one of my older stories too. Just an FYI there isn't going to be as much smutt in this story as there was in those. Not as much doesn't mean they won't still get it on, that is indeed coming!

Rukia Isaioi: You may have to try contacting the administrators, I can't help you if you can't see the website. Maybe try logging in on something other than your ipad.

Thirdly: Ari's mind would not have been the only one tampered with. Anyone who'd had more than a moments contact with Demarcus would have had those particular memories wiped too.

Indeed, Gael has been a bit tough on Demarcus throughout most of the story so far. It's mostly to contrast the fact that Demarcus doesn't have as much influence on Gael as Thane would have.

Chapter 8 Reviews (Once per week every Monday uploads resume)

anon-ish: You're right, Gael explains himself in Chapter 9.

Angelina: New reviewer! Unfortunately, the way they work it out won't be as simple as that.

Tahn: Jakred does seem to have a mean streak doesn't he?

smint45: Sacrifices is more story oriented, I used to write some stories just to write smut but I seem to have moved away from that recently. There will still be sex, just not in every single chapter. =)

Nbsiren: New reviewer! Thank you for your support! =)

Moku_Sui: Demarcus' entry was blocked because they haven't worked things out one hundred percent as yet. But up until this point, Jakred hadn't done anything to deserve his entry be locked.

Zas: Indeed, Jakred is an instigator.

Thirdly: Really, Ari can't help feeling mediocre because he knows he'd starting off at such a big disadvantage where the Akadians are concerned. He wants to believe that there is more to Gael's interest than the fact he looks like Thane, because at this point he still doesn't know that Gael read all his past memories and knows everything about him. It's funny that you mention Jakred getting laid because that does happen in a couple of chapters, but at this point I won't say who he got it on with.

Chapter 9 Reviews


Anon: I'm glad you liked the chapter.

Rukia Isaioi: Gael's apocalyptic planet destroying decisions are usually done only with the council's approval. But like an American president he does have emergency powers in a pinch.

smint45: Thank you for reviewing my other stories! I apologize for Survial's bad editing, I hadn't read or edited it in over 6 years. To tell you the truth, I didn't even remember the names of the secondary characters. It was my first foray into posting stories online, so forgive the grammar and punctuation errors. (I noticed quite a few in a skim through.) But back to Sacrifices, Gael will be put on the spot by the council.

Thirdly: Unfortunately, Jakred does not sleep with any of the main characters. =o When I first posted chapter 1, I was working on chapter 14, which is actually the climactic scene. I've given myself a bit of a break, but the story is pretty much complete, just have some finishing touches, so not to worry!

Moku_Sui: I realize that Gael is not as likeable as some may have hoped. But it really can't be helped, I'm a big believer that stories write themselves. And based on what Gael has been through (losing Thane, the cloning incident) he has justified reasons for being bitter.

QueenAyame109: Three chapters at once must have been fun for you, I'm glad you enjoyed them. =)

MaddamAndRobin: I do not have a mailing list, but tune in every Monday for a new chapter until completion. If I'm up late on Sunday, I'll probably even post it early.

anon-ish: You have some interesting points. Hopefully I'll provide sufficient answers in the next few chapters. =)

Reviews Chapter 10

Moku_Sui: as usual, very good questions. =) And some will be answered as the story progresses. Number of total chapters will probably be less than twenty. If you notice, some of the chapters before have been fairly long. So if I were to have made them shorter I could have easily gone over twenty. I like a lower chapter count, so it would seem less daunting for newer readers to not feel overwhelmed seeing twenty plus chapters posted.

Tahn: if you're referring to why Thane was targeted for murder, then you're in the same boat as Demarcus. He also suspected that Thane's murder may even have some tie to Gael.

anon-ish: Ari and Jakred got off to a pretty rough start so I'm not sure if friendship is in their future, but perhaps they may dislike each other less at some point.

Zas: it seemed Jakred did have this coming.

smint45: Thanks for reviewing Singularity. Truth be told, Sacrifices interfered with Singularity, for it was meant to be longer. But when I realized I only had time to work on one story, I just cut it short. for it was to the point where I could have wrapped it up.

Thirdly: You know what it's like when someone has their heart set on someone else, and Jakred isn't going to forget his feelings for Gael overnight unfortunately.

Mona Thompson: Yes, Kron definitely is no nonsense.

Reviews Chapter 11

smint45: Is Kron the bad guy? I guess you'll find out. ; )

Thirdly: All Pre-takers have a star tattoo, it's part of what signifies them as a Pre-taker, but they can decide where to put it. As for your other questions, it's unbelievable how much is going to come out in the next couple of chapters so, stay tuned.

Lala: yes, Ari did see the resemblance between Gael and Kron.

Tahn: It would seem Kron is up to no good.

Moku_Sui: Gael wants to pursue a relationship with Ari, however the only reason they are together is because of Ari's link to Thane. So it would be really hard for Gael to just completely forget about Thane and not react to any similarities that he comes across.

Rukia Isaioi: Yes, there is a lot to Kron's back story that has yet to come out. Now, chapter 12 ends in a cliffhanger, and I'm not sure if you'll be pleased with the outcome for Ari/Thane.

Zas: I appreciate the review!

anon~ish: Thane's picture is not among those in the Pre-taker hall. It's established in Akadian society that Kron is dead, therefore it will be explained how he's still alive and kicking.

Reviews Chapter 12

Thirdly: I take it your reaction means it was obvious Thane was going to come back in some form, you just didn't expect it this way. Good ;p

Rukia Isaioi: You're not wrong in some of your suppositions. The Haven is a type of entity that set up Akadian society to be running the way it is now. You can think of it as an accompaniment to the big bang. Since the universe was slowing down on its expansion, the Akadians were needed to take up the slack as Gael explained back in Chapter 9. I know they would never be considered a normal society, but they have the similar social classifications based on the tiers of the citizens etc. Just right at the very top are powerful people like the Pre-takers who prophecies swirl around simply as a way to counteract them gaining too much power. It's almost like a check and a balance and there will be fanatics like Kron and Penalt, who will try to enact or prevent said prophecies. Re-read the scene in Chapter 10 after Gael is called on the carpet by the council. He did refer to Penalt as a type of oracle who had visions, which was a hint that Penalt was going to play a bigger role.

Tahn: Your reviews are always really cute sound bites. ; )

Angel: You're right, things were finally going smooth for them which kind of meant something was due to happen. hehe.

Zas: If you're confused as to how Thane came back, you'll see Gael and Demarcus trying to figure that out in Chapter 13.

Nyth wolf: New reviewer. Remember, uploads every Monday, but we are winding down now.

smint45: Your bad feeling about this Thane may be founded, but I can't give anything away. =p

anon~ish: Really good questions, some will be answered in the upcoming chapters.

Mona Thompson: It is not a lie unfortunately, Thane really is back.

Reviews Chapter 13

There will be no chapter next week because I'm going on vacation this Thursday. Therefore the story will return on Aug 17, 2015 for the final chapter.

smint45: As you will see in the next chapter, everything will sort of come to a head before the mind scans go in depth, which is probably a good thing.

Moku_Sui: That's why it's called the prelude to a climactic scene. ; )

Rukia Isaioi: I'm glad you found the website. I have a simpler outcome planned that doesn't involve Gael being part of a ménage à trois unfortunately.

Mona Thompson: Story is winding down, so it's about time actually.

Tahn: I think you'll like the outcome of the next chapter.

Thirdly: as you probably realize, what Penalt did was not natural by any means. He broke the rules of the reincarnation when he forced Thane's essence back into Ari's body. It's part of the reason there is no bond between them, and Thane has no idea about any of Ari's life. However, his reasons for doing this may have been founded but they are about to backfire in chapter 14.

Reviews Chapter 14

Lanna: New reviewer! Thank you for your feedback. I find constructive reviews more heartening as they take the good with the bad and let me know how you see things. Unfortunately, this story is at an end. I may at some point continue with this universe, and perhaps do a story focusing on Jakred.

mona thompson: sadly, all good things must come to an end! ; )

And to the rest of my overall reviewers, thank you so much for your support on this endeavor. Hearing from you made the story and the characters come alive for me. Take care and see you soon!

Edited by Concepcion33
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