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GrayNeko's Review Response and Discussion Thread


GrayNeko

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Guest Edward

Hi!

Has been a while. I know I did not said much about the previous chapter, but to be honest I was very upset with Charm... with Hope and with Gwen and I was feeling very bad for what Kaid did to Ben.

That kind of deception makes me very angry in relationships, both in fiction and in real life (I know there is no magic in real life, I mean when someone deceives someone).

So yeah, many negative feelings so I did not feel like commenting much.

Anyway about the new chapter,:

I sort of can see where Hope of coming from in her apology in the hospital room.

I like how mature Ben is, even if personally I hope he don't forgive Gwen that easily.

The pacing was great, very suspenseful.

I am guessing the summer trip is over and everyone will be going to Bellwood so Ben can rest.

Thanks for your writing and hope you have a good day!

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Jackal 2016-05-10 id # 3000071562

Been looking forward to this for a long time, hope this isn't the final chapter since that'd mean no more Gwen/Ben/Charmcaster (I prefer that to Hope) sex.

First thing I'm going to say to everyone is that this is NOT the final chapter though the way I ended the latest chapter I could see how you all feared that. There are things to still be resolved and I have a few ideas I still want to play with. As for the whole Hope thing, that was something Aysha and I discussed several pages back and even though I made a point of bringing it up Charmcaster will still generally think of herself and be referred to as Charmcaster.

Ed, as always I appreciate the kind words. I was actually afraid the pacing was too fast but since there was a lot to resolve I guess it worked out. To be perfectly honest I was shaking my head as I wrote a lot of this but I couldn't figure out a better way to get the scenes done and I just wanted to finish this chapter. Hopefully I'll be able to look back and be happier with it in the future.

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Bonifacy 2016-05-13 id # 3000071571

Yay! Update! Thank you for this story. I enjoy it alot, and not only for naughty parts. :)

Thanks Bon! I'm always glad to hear that people like the non-erotic portions as well.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Saint_Wanker_Kris 2016-05-27 id # 3000071602

Man, I've been waiting EONS for you to update... I'm so glad that you're back, but also, I'm also sad that things had turned out so ugly there. I guess things aren't always roses and rainbows for them, and something that they did to have some fun ended up as a disaster that nearly got their lives.

I'm also quite relieved that you didn't included Kai... I just can't stand her, not really. I'm also a little sad that Ben seems to only value Charmcaster in the emotional sense, while Gwen didn't gave him a bleep. But I guess that Charmcaster and Ben have a much heavier connection between them, with Gwen being a possible add on that's growing on them.

And damn... the damnable parents... I guess the angst isn't over yet. Still, thank you for uploading, really

I appreciate you being such a fan Saint. I was going for a darker tone with this arc and I wanted to give the three of them to have a reason to really think about their relationship with each other, which will be explored more. In that regard don't think that Ben doesn't value Gwen in an emotional sense, it's just they haven't had a chance to talk yet. Ben had other things on his mind and Charmcaster forced that conversation because of her own guilt and was trying to shield Gwen from Ben's deserved anger. And yes the angst isn't quite over.

I never really intended Kai to be included beyond this arc, as much I like the Ben 10,000 episodes, but I still like leaving them a possibility.

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And now a review for my Extradimensional Besties piece

Saint_Wanker_Kris 2016-05-27 id # 3000071604

Another story of yours that's definitely engaging and even addictive, it's a sad truth that this fandom doesn't have that much attention, even when it's quite obvious that it haves *so* much potential.

How you joined them, especially the excuse they're currently using to engage into each another is amusing and close to what they would probably use in the story.

Though, I guess canon also changed a little the perception on Star's mother and temperament, especially it wasn't what many people thought of her initially (unbending, and a stickler to the rules... when apparently she's the voice of reason to her husband (literally she's a female Marco... which play's really nice with the interaction there, as Star inherited her father's persona and mannerism to a T).

Janna... Oh, I'm not a fan of her... I don't know why, but I simply don't like her... I've a feeling that she's going to bring quite some serious problems on canon sooner or later due to her meddling with forces that she doesn't have an inkling of. (Not that Star's better... but apparently she have's some modicum, even if minimal of what not to do with magic...)

Though, the inclusion of Janna brings a complicated angle that I'm not sure if they could deal properly. Wonder when is Star going to begin to fill left out of Marco's life when he begins to give more attention to Janna and Jackie, and how much of a temptation to break the seal he would be as things get more and more intense between them.

Hope you don't abandon this story, but even if that's what happened, thank you very much for what you already published.

Once again Saint, thanks for being a great fan. I'm glad you're like this piece and calling it addictive is certainly flattering. I'm not too concerned with the perception of Star's mother, because that was really how Star views her mother more than how she really is.

I'm surprised that you don't care for Janna, from what I've seen she's become a bit of a fan favorite from what little we've been given on her, people love a semi-flirty troublemaker. I will say you hit the nail on the head by mentioning how complicated things could become. A lot of this is Marco getting pulled in different directions while Star will come to a realization of her own. I have no intention of abandoning this story, I'm just an awful, no good, down and dirty, terribly slow writer, but thanks again for your support.

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From ANON - JRC on August 15, 2016

Excellent story so far, I'm really enjoying it. Admittedly I'm a bit of a Star/Marco fan but really this story probably jives with their personalities a LOT better. Plus, the setup with Janna was just great. Keep up the good work!

Thanks anon! To you and the others I just want to say I'm sorry the next chapter is taking so long, things have been busy and I have had little time for much of anything but I will say now that season two has started I've got some fun ideas kicking around.

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  • 1 month later...
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From ANON - Obama on September 26, 2016
 

This is one of the best stories I've read in a long while! Please continue the story because for this to remain incomplete would be a travesty  

I promise I haven’t abandoned this piece and I thank you for your kind words Mr. President.

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  • 8 months later...
Guest ArcDragoon

Today's date is... June 20th, 2017.

Hi GreyNeko, I've been a fan of your work since Misadventures.  I don't know if you're still writing, I don't know if you've posted your work elsewhere.  However, I would like you to know that as a fan, I appreciate the amount of character development you put into your writing.  Also, if you're still writing, I would love to continue reading your stories.

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  • 6 months later...

Achoo! Man I need to dust this place, or hire a maid…

Hello all! I apologize for my extended absence, 2017 has been a hell of a year and there were a couple of shake ups in my life that kept me away from my writing until recently. I thank all of you who have waited patiently for me to return and while I don't bring a continuation of my more anticipated pieces I do bring a whole new story that has gotten me back into my writing groove. With that in mind I now respond to the first review of my latest piece, Voltron: Crashing into Love:

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From Harem-Lover-26

 

Nice story.  It' strange to find the Voltron characters being straight, the entire fan base seems to want them to be gay.  I hope you continue this story.  I have a rough idea how they could be tricked into another orgy.

Certain subsections of the fandom want Klance to jizz all over the story until the show is just those two having sex, and if that’s what gets them off then good for them. I happen to favor other ships, with one in particular being my favorite. In time I do plan one more chapter for this but others have been waiting quite a time for continuations of my other works so I feel I own them that at the very least. Thanks for the kind words.

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  • 2 years later...

 

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From Doom on July 20, 2020
 

I love this story I know it's a long shot, but will we ever see another update

 

 

 

I feel like a right proper bastard for leaving people waiting for so long, especially when I found myself motivated to write a short collection of Dark Crystal pieces. I have been trying to find the time to sit down and write more for all my unfinished projects but as things have gotten more chaotic in the real world it has been harder to find the motivation. I apologize to my fans and long time readers and can only promise that I will try harder.

Edited by GrayNeko
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From GeorgeGlass on August 02, 2020
 

Well, I wasn’t sure whether I’d ever see any more of this story, so I was pleased when Hentai Foundry alerted me about the new chapter. Some comments on chapter 3 (with SPOILERS):

  • I enjoyed the way you describe, briefly but effectively, the way Janna touches herself has she watches the action from inside the closet.
  • Femdom isn't really my thing, but it sure was hot when Star whispered to bound, blindfolded Marco that she wanted him to be thinking of Jackie.
  • I like that Star completely falls out of her dominatrix character and acts like herself again (at least, the nervous version of herself) in response to Janna's apparent emotional distress.
  • Star rolling Janna's nipples between thumb and forefinger...oh, yeah.
  • I love how in stories like this, it's always the girl who doesn't like condoms. ;)
  • Like girl-on-girl scenes, girl-on-girl-on-boy scenes are tricky because “she” and “her” always have to have a clear antecedent. A few times, I wasn’t sure whether they referred to Star or Janna.
  • "Correctamundo"? You must be about my age. :)
  • Looks like we've got a bundle of pretty complicated emotions going on here -- and, thus, a lot of directions this story could potentially take. IMO, that's a good way to end a chapter.

 

 

First of all George, I just want to say thank you for this review and sorry again for keeping everyone waiting. It’s always interesting to see what details really work for people. I’ve done a third party watching on scene before in my Ben 10 piece but since I intended the focus to be Star and Marco with Janna eventually joining them I figured I didn’t need to spend so much time on Janna. Still it was good to hear that it was effective.

Star’s “Mistress Butterfly” persona is what I imagine Star thinks she’s supposed to act like once she becomes queen, at least at this stage in the show’s timeline. As for Janna, it just seemed to fit with her reckless attitude that she would prefer the risk of raw sex, after all it wouldn’t fit for the valiant Safe Kid.

 

I did a quick reread of some of the sex scenes and I admit there were a few times I should have stuck with names instead of “she” and “her”. Thanks for pointing that out.

As for age, I have no idea what you’re talking about... cowabunga man. I’m glad the ending felt satisfactory, I really do want Star and Marco to struggle with their decisions even as they feel compelled by their friendship to keep going down this path.

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  • 2 months later...
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From GeorgeGlass on October 21, 2020
 

So glad to see The Owl House get some love her on AFF -- especially from GrayNeko.

While Eda might not have been my own choice of first sexual/romantic partner for Luz, the way you made the encounter happen was totally believable in the context of the show's world and the behavior of the characters in canon. I also like the way you portray this as part of Luz's sexual awakening; maybe you're a French indie filmmaker at heart. :)

What I'm curious to know now is, will this be a straight-up Luz/Eda (Leda?) fic, as the setup so far suggests? Or will our young heroine be having sexual adventures with others on the Boiling Isles? Guess I'll have to stay tuned!

GG, it’s always so nice to see a review from you. I’m actually surprised we haven’t seen more work about The Owl House, especially given how much the show loves books, reading, and fanfiction. I’ve been lurking on several TOH threads on the adult sections of 4chan and been seeing a lot of art highlighting the witches and their ears so I thought a story along those lines would be fun. As much as I want to just write some good ol’ porn I find myself working out how to make it believable and so far responses to it have agreed on that which makes me happy. I know Lumity is the lead pairing and hopefully they commit to that early in the second season but there’s just something about an experienced older woman, and Eda especially, that made her the best choice to begin with. I can promise there will definitely be scenes with Luz and Amity, as well as a number of other characters and I’ll adjust the tags accordingly when those chapters drop (sometimes I feel like tagging stuff that hasn’t happened yet spoils the discovery of reading and sometimes I haven’t fully decided what a story will feature as I go). As for Luz’s sexual awakening, I think we can all agree that she’s no stranger to the idea of sex and the show has made it pretty clear she swings both ways if given the opportunity but she also started out as an outcast on Earth so her experience and practical knowledge would be limited. 

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Maybe we’ll see an uptick in Owl House fics when the show hits Disney+ and all the cord-cutters get to see it for the first time. 

In any case, I think you’re taking a good approach to this, and I’m looking forward to the rest of it. As for tags, I don’t see any reason to spoil that stuff, either; IMO, tags are mainly for warning people away from potentially objectionable content, not ‘ships the reader may not be into.

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From Menydragon5 on October 28, 2020
 

This is really good. Plus this is the only Luz/Eda story I've seen. (This pairing needs more love.) Please continue this. But if you don't, thank you for this well written one shot. 

Thank you. I am currently working on writing more and I hope you’re not too disappointed when more pairings are included.

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From Fairy-Slayer on October 30, 2020
 

There's so much wonderful, magical things to explore on the Boiling Isle, yet Luz's most-impactful discovery was about erogenous zones. Kind of shocking how fast and hard that got Eda going, though it feels very normal that Luz would be so freaked out about what happened – especially when Eda didn't even seems to register any of it afterwards. It opens up many possibilities once Luz decides how to handle it – especially if this kind of "oo-mox" has a similar effect on all witches.

It'll certainly be a lot of fun, but even better that you have put a lot of emotion and thought into it too. Thanks for setting her off to a great start.

You are very welcome Fairy-Slayer. I saw a lot of chatter in the 4chan threads about the pro and cons of ear erogenous zones in regards to The Owl House, with some complaining that it was too Ferengi and obvious but I thought it made for the most fun for Luz to take advantage of. Plus since witches are magic it’s more than just something that gets a witch’s motor running, as Luz will soon discover. And as for the speed and intensity of Eda’s reaction, I was trying for more porn than plot with this, but sometimes I think plot is my real porn. My initial shot went way further than petting and making out but it stopped making sense the more I wrote, though I will get there in future chapters. 

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From Bronzehawk86 on December 06, 2020
 

A good story.

Thanks!

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From GeorgeGlass on December 07, 2020
 

Some comments on chapter 2 (SPOILERS):

--Well, while Eda might not be on my list of Top 5 Boiling-Islanders Luz Should Get It On With, Willow definitely is, so I was gratified to see this chapter about her. And Willow’s reason for wanting Luz to touch her in that way is totally in character for her. 

--I know you didn't invent the phrase “going boneless,” but I like your use of it here.

--I love how you fit in all the little background details like the screaming bell and lockers with mouths. It really grounds the story in the world of The Owl House and enriches the scenes at the same time.

--Luz erasing Willow's memories at the end of the chapter seemed a bit over the line, particularly given that Luz has seen the consequences of memory erasure before -- for Willow in particular. It definitely suggests that this new skill of Luz's is ripe for abuse. 

Looking forward to more.

Always love hearing from you George. I’m glad Willow has a following, I like her as a character but she doesn’t do much for me otherwise. I’m surprised people haven’t expressed disappointment that I didn’t go further with her in this chapter.

The great thing about The Owl House is all the little details. Aside from watching the show on my Disney+ account I’ve downloaded almost the whole season from Mega so I can rewatch specific scenes to make sure I’m getting things right and it’s gratifying to hear that it pays off.

Luz is definitely going to be grappling with the consequences of her actions from the end of the chapter but I didn’t want to spend too much time there wrestling with it. To be fair though she hadn’t eaten all day and wasn’t in a great state of mind to begin with. Joking aside, I really wanted to establish that though this might have all started as an accident there’s an allure to this situation that Luz can’t resist, no matter how much she might hate herself for it.

Again, I’m glad you and all the other readers are enjoying this story and I look forward to the Star vs story you’ve been talking about.

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From Fairy-Slayer on December 17, 2020
 

(Chapter 2)

Nice of Willow to reveal the secret, but a bit naughty of Luz to use that power so much so quickly. Thank goodness I really like naughtiness. Great bit of exposition plus some real hands-on fun, even if Luz had just enough self control to stop short – this time! Great little makeout session, and nice hint that there is some lingering emotional effect. I can see so many wicked possibilities, even many that come about completely innocently or just from Luz's anxiety. (Not that I have anything against a dive-right-in earjob. I even wrote one myself a while back.)

My only question is why some demon-descendant hasn't pretty much taken over the Boiling Isle yet. :D I really like where your story is going. Thanks.

Hey Fairy-Slayer, good to hear from you. I’m glad the exposition doesn’t feel forced and fear not there shall be plenty of naughtiness to come.

As for your question, I like to imagine that’s why there are so many demon blooded witches on the Boiling Isles. They initially interbred to breed out this weakness and over time touching ears became so taboo that the real reason was lost or forgotten by the majority of the population. That and with Belos in charge and walking on the grass is a imprisonable offence I imagine anyone suspected of being an ear rapists would probably get black bagged pretty quickly. Or maybe that’s how Belos rose to power in the first place. *Insert spooky conspiracy sounds* Or maybe not.

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