Do You Think She Is Too Sueish?

[Solaris]

I have a character that I am writing and I have her profile up but I'm not sure if she is sueish or not. I don't think she could be but I would like some help in seeing if she is or not and if so how to make her into a non sue.

This is my Transformers 2007 movie-verse OFC Tama's bio.

Full Name: Tama Fynn

Age: 37

Height: 2" without her legs attached, 5"10 with her legs attached.

Weight: 50 pounds without her other parts attached to her. 475 pounds with her parts attached to her body.

Nickname: Mechanical freak (she's called that by other humans)

Robot/Human: Human with a twist, she has limbs of a robot but for one arm.

Likes: The Autobots, horses and the few humans she can trust with her strange form.

Dislikes: Almost all humans. Being called names.

Pet Peeves: Being called a mechanical freak or in other words, being called names.

Good habit: She will give her trust to those who she feels is worthy of having her trust. Really good at tongues and rebuilding cars as a hobby.

Worst habit: Being fully dressed in a long to the floor length jacket even in the summer months. Being very snappish towards most humans who she doesn't trust very well.

Employment: An agent for Sector 7, later on in the stories becomes a diplomat to the planet Cybertron.

Background: She's a linguist for Sector 7 since she was 20 years old, fluent in Egyptian, Latin, Greek and French, other then English. Was brought into the ranks of Sector 7 to translate the markings on the Cube. She didn't know how to translate the markings on the robot, they transferred her to the cube after telling her how they came to possess both items. Her presence at the Cube didn't make the other workers very pleased and they tried to get her fired by doing various childish stunts like making her late to meetings and hiding her notebooks that she would use to write down the markings and tell her that it's at the ground level and various other stuff. A month after she started working there, she had a very bad accident and the Cube 'came alive' to save her but in the process shocked her and destroyed both her legs and left arm to the point where the doctors had to remove them or have her die from gangrene. She is the beta tester for all bionic limbs for the government. Her limbs are in it's final form of robotic looking body parts as she didn't want it to look human, as she feels because of what happened to her, she might as well look different. She can speak about six different tongues as good as you can without many mistakes, but two tongues she can do fluently - English and a strange tongue that no human should know Cybertron, which she gained the knowledge of speaking it by the Cube, but no one knew that it was the Autobots' tongue till 2007 when they arrived on the planet and the members of Sector 7 found themselves standing in front of a live robot Bumblebee. She's also able to rebuild her limbs if needed but she would call on Sector 7, to help maintain her limbs. She spent the next 20 years till 2000 working on the Cube and the robot Sector 7 had frozen, till she decided not to return to the Hoover Dam complex stating she couldn't work there no more, that she wants to concentrate translating the Cube's tongue away from those who would bring her to distraction. She didn't inform her employers that her co-workers were making the work enviroment tough on her because of the new form she has, which resulted in her having a sense of disgust with other humans, she can and will tolerate humans to a point but she prefers to be alone then with other humans. She's mostly a hermit, to where only twice a month she would be seen by others as a normal human by wearing gloves and a long jacket on her body and pants to hide her robotic limbs, which she wears all the time except to bed. When the Autobots came to this planet and needed a place to hide out, her land was what they picked to remain on. She likes their company the best to anyone else at first, then she starts to get used to hanging with their human friends and she begins to let her hate of humans go. With the appearance of the Autobots, the government privately enlisted her to be a diplomat to Cybertron's citizens the Autobots since she is the only one who can speak their tongue but privately wants to learn where the planet is so a space mission could be launched to 'rape' the planet of its technology for making sentiant robots.

Is that too Mary Sue or should I work on her some more?

Beth

[Melrick]

Well to truly know if it's a Mary Sue or not, I'd have to know you much better than I do - which is not at all - but unless you weigh 475 pounds and have detachable legs, I'd have to say it doesn't sound terribly Mary Sue-ish to me.

[Solaris]

No attachable limbs nor do I weigh 475 pounds.

I'm glad it doesn't sound too Mary Sueish to you, some people think she is just because of the limbs ALA Edward Elric of Full Metal Alchemist.

Beth

[Melrick]

Yeah well some people see Mary Sue's when there simply aren't any to see. You can safely ignore people who say it's a Mary Sue.

[Solaris]

I'm glad because too many people have already stated to me that the character just seems to be too Sueish to them. I don't see any Sue like tendencies in her, beyond the fact that she would rather be left alone then associate with humans.

Beth

[Harley Quinn hyenaholic]

Only problem I can see is that right now she seems awfully shallow.

Her bad habits seem awfully normal. If you don't really trust somebody, nobody's expecting you to be nice to them. It would be more of a bad habit to make her snappish with her friends. And a pet peeve is being called names. Nobody really likes being called names. And JEEZ, liking the Autobots? Nice and all, but nothing special.

As for disliking other humans, well, why is that? Is it just so that she doesn't fit in and can be really good friends with giant alien robots? Now that is A Sue trait - just one, but if flaunted it could make your character really self-isolated and pitiable, only I know I won't pity her because so far she's not interesting.

No, robot legs do not automatically grant you interestingness. Or save you from being a Sue.

If 'linguist' is her job, I'll let her get away with those languages, as long as there's a reason in stories for her to have them. But I'm a little shaky on her robotic limbs. Like, how good are they? I know Sector 7 provided them, so they're bound to be impressive, but can she just walk with them, or are you planning on turning her into a cyberninja?

Basically, this character isn't powerful enough to be a Sue right now, but she's awfully dull. If she's going to be an important OC, she needs more personality.

How about I direct you to some mental illnesses? Feaston your character with a social disorder or two (most of mine have a couple) and she'll become a lot less perfect and a lot more interesting.

[Guest Monsterking]

yo soloris! which stories is your charactor in? i would love to read them!

[Solaris]

Monsterking, I have yet to write any story with this character in it yet, where you really see her interact with more then just one human. I'm working on that plot right now.

Beth

[Birddi]

I don't know about Marry Sue-ish, but it bothers me a great deal on how easily you have cut the character apart into game stats. I mean, how is her gate? How does she smile, is it a side-kick? What's her favorite joke? I think those things would be more important in discussing how the character relates to you.

:nod: And hates all humans? If she is human but essentially with mechanic parts, isn't that a bit rude and whiney? When considering how many people there are who have mechanical limbs, automatic wheelchairs, pacemakers, etc - and then to be considered a "mechanic freak"... seems a bit off the mark. Yeah?

[Kimmy_Nagasaki]

I definately agree with the hates all humans statement. It's a bit harsh for the character, considering she's handicapped, but if let's say there was a legitimate reason behind it, I might consider changin my mind....

But mary sueish she is not. Mary sueish to me is perfect in every way shape and form and can do no wrong

[Solaris]

The reason behind her hatred of all humans is from what happened to her in the workplace of her fellow workers calling her names and basically being bullies towards her because they hated what she had become. She says she hates humans even if she is one herself but as she gets to know the human friends of the Autobots, she starts to realize that there are those who don't see her as strange or hate her for what she looks like, she starts to drop most of her hatred against the human race. But it doesn't happen within minutes of her meeting them, it actaully takes many stories being written before she drops her hate to just a mild annoyance.

Beth

[Acal]

Sounds like a very solid character to me

[Maiafay]

While she sounds like a well-rounded character, I would have to see the writing. Most of the time, it's the writing that determines the sue, not the character.