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Replies and discussion for The voice under all silences.


pekeleke

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Hi there!

Since some of you have seen it fit to leave your thoughts on The voice under all silences. I decided to set up this thread to answer all your comments.

First of all let me thank everyone who took the time to read. Now here are my replies to all of you who also decided to leave me some really appreciated feedback:

laury: Thank you for having taken the time to review this story. I must agree with you on the point that Severus didn't really have that much room for choice when it came to his relationship with Harry, but I don't think he would have tried to seek out anyone at all on his own. He is almost cripplingly shy here and that makes his character virtually unable to "shop around" for a companion. Harry was there, he was willing to work for the relationship and allowed Severus to go at his own pace, which soothed his ingrained distrust. I don't think there are that many men out there who'd have done so and in that way, maybe Severus' own personality is responsible for his lack of options.

NeuroticNeko: Thank you for taking the time to send me these really lovely reviews of yours. I'm very glad to hear that you are finding this story enjoyable so far and I have to say that your advice on spreading the release of this thing over a few days makes perfect sense to me, now that someone has given me the idea. I might do that in the future.

I was thinking that maybe I should apologize for bringing you to tears, but then decided that I'm rather proud of that, anyway. Being told that my story is good enough to call forth that kind of emotional reaction is probably one of the most flattering things you could have said, so... thank you, once again, for the lovely compliment.

Edited by pekeleke
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Guest Bagogems

This has to be one of the most convincing Snarries that i have ever read. The emotional friction, the verbal sparring, the mistrust, misunderstanding and outright pig-headedness of both Harry and Severus was scarily accurate. I have always wished that someone would really bother to write an indepth account of the emotional journey snape would have to go through, IF , he survived the brutal war and how the dynamics of his relationship with harry would change in light of his true role in Harry's life finally unravelling. You deserve accolades for how perfectly you dealt with something that is the biggest pitfall in which too many snarry authors fall gracelessly. I am most certainly impressed. While you have got Severus' voice accurately pinned down, Harry is a bit too refined than i expect him to be, but i guess 4 years submerged in memories of Severus Snape and being surrounded by the Malfoys most of the times may have something to do with it?

A wonderful story. But because of the fact that you posted it altogether, it will get dragged down in the list and i am afraid most people wont stumble upon it in a few days. You can remove most chapters from the the story right now and leave only a few behind, and start posting the chapters anew one by one.

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Hi there Bagomens

First of all let me really thank you for leaving me such a wonderful review.

Yes, I do realize that Harry's character is the weakest link in this particular story because he is portrayed here very differently from our usual interpretation of him. I needed him to be really strong or he wouldn't have managed to put up with Severus' reluctance. It's true that he's been influenced by being so closely surrounded by the Malfoys, but also the emotional turmoil of being left in limbo for so long, while he waited for Severus to wake up, has played a very important part in turning him into what he is right now.

I hadn't considered that point about how releasing the story in a single go could actually make it go unnoticed until another reviewer mentioned it yesterday and now I don't really know what to do. Your suggestion of removing already posted chapters and reposting them all over again sounds quite sensible, but I wonder if that wouldn't irritate whoever is out there already reading past whichever chapter I decide to delete. Wouldn't it be better to promote it in the promote a story forum? I'm new to this website and I don't really know how it works yet, so I'm still left pondering over all of these things. I'm going to try and figure out some of it, so that I can do one or the other by the weekend.

Thank you, once again, for taking the time to review.

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Well, I added you to my recommended reads, But i hardly think that is going to promote your fic enough. I still think you should go with my idea, because your fic has already moved way down in the list. You can watch the number of views carefully, and when it stops increasing, or only increases by 2-3 times a day, remove chapter 5 onwards and post them anew one by one, if you want, i can beta them for you, since i saw a few mistakes here and there, nothing too serious though.

the reason i am so keen about you getting the place you deserve with the fic is that i am a writer myself, i am currently writing a Drarry, and i am trying very hard to get the emotional depth and the plot and characterizations that i want, so i know how much time and effort goes into writing something so intense and to write 43 chapters of it and then watch it get pushed down by unfeeling and silly one shots and meaningless fics is just heart-breaking. I don't want you to get discouraged.

I am posting on a lot of other archives as well, i don't know if you are. There are a few active ones dedicated to SNarries. So may be you should look into posting on those as well?

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Hi there Bagogems

Thank you for taking the time to respond to me. I find it really wonderful that you are so encouraging about getting this story out there. I'd be delighted with you betaing this monster of a fic for me, just tell me how that works and I'll try to accommodate you. I know there must be plenty of mistakes with this story, as it was my very first chaptered snarry and I'm not a native english speaker.

I've already left a query with the promote a story forum but haven't yet received an answer from them, so I don't really know if that idea will work better than yours or not. I might end up doing just as you suggested.

I've posted this on Archive of our Own, Fanfiction.net and the snape_potter community already. I must say that I've been rather shocked to find out that it did well on the first two but it has been sadly overlooked by the actual snarry crowd. I'm willing to post it somewhere else if you have any other suggestions.

Thank you for your offer of help, and for having taken the time to actually recommend it. It's greatly appreciated.

Edited by pekeleke
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Hi there addiena saffir

As I have no idea of which chapter exactly it is that finally prompted you to review I can't properly defend myself. I've deduced that your particular kind of "gobsmacked" can't possibly be the right kind, because whichever chapter it was left you peaked, so... there's nothing much I can do here except telling you that there's a lot of angst in this story, but there's also a lot of love. Everything will be worth it in the end, you know? This is really all about romance.

Thank you for having decided to leave a review, after all. I sincerely hope that you continued reading despite it all and found the rest of it to your liking, if you didn't... then I can honestly tell you that for that I'm sorry. This story was born from a desire to entertain you all while spinning a romance that left you smiling in the end and if it failed to do so, then I have also failed to achieve my initial goal.

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Hi there delia cerrano

I'm glad you found this touching. Writing a heavily emotional tale of healing and romance was my goal when I first started this.

This story was always meant to move it's reader and I'm very happy that it worked like that for you. Thank you for taking the time to read and review, it was greatly appreciated.

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Hi there Qtness.Quill

I was glad to hear you enjoyed this so much. Being able to bring into a story all that detail and psychological analysis of Severus' character that you so generously praise in your review was the initial inspiration for this fic. I wanted to explore the journey that Severus would have had to travel, if he'd survived the war, to heal from the deep emotional wounds that his life up to that point must have caused him.

I had a great time trying to get under Severus' skin and wanted you all to have as much fun reading the results of my efforts, so sharing this with all of you wasn't a problem. Thank you for taking the time to leave me such lovely review. I enjoyed receiving it.

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest Semper394

You really seem to get what it is to be emotionally stunted and rooted in shyness and fears. Harry's feelings for Severus capture the things that jumped out at me causing me to latch on to his character as one of my favorites of all time (as well as a source of endless imaginary lustings)

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Dark-one

I loathe snarry and this was a great story! One thing that bothered me though was the relationship and how it formed. It seemed to me that it became Stockholm syndrome. Potter broke Severus down using psychological manipulation. and it was disturbing to me on every level that potter wouldnt stop doing something when Severus told him, or begged him too. Potter wouldn't leave him alone and crossed over every line. I didn't keep reading for the love, and I'm never shipping snarry, I just kept reading to see how things would end up. Like what happened to Severus in this fic, and how it ended is my worst nightmare and honestly I love that you scared me so badly!

I'm so disturbed about what I have read on so many levels. To me you didn't write a snarry or a paring fic. You wrote a perfect example of psychological manipulation and how, with enough time, you can completely break another human and mould him into what ever you want, by taking everything he holds dear, his privacy, his memories, and everything else.

This was the darkest fic I have ever read, it read like a horror story to me and because of that I give you the highest praise and this fic five stars. I'm disturbed, disgusted, afraid, and in awe. Well fucking done you are brilliant,

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  • 4 weeks later...

I loathe snarry and this was a great story! One thing that bothered me though was the relationship and how it formed. It seemed to me that it became Stockholm syndrome. Potter broke Severus down using psychological manipulation. and it was disturbing to me on every level that potter wouldnt stop doing something when Severus told him, or begged him too. Potter wouldn't leave him alone and crossed over every line. I didn't keep reading for the love, and I'm never shipping snarry, I just kept reading to see how things would end up. Like what happened to Severus in this fic, and how it ended is my worst nightmare and honestly I love that you scared me so badly!

I'm so disturbed about what I have read on so many levels. To me you didn't write a snarry or a paring fic. You wrote a perfect example of psychological manipulation and how, with enough time, you can completely break another human and mould him into what ever you want, by taking everything he holds dear, his privacy, his memories, and everything else.

This was the darkest fic I have ever read, it read like a horror story to me and because of that I give you the highest praise and this fic five stars. I'm disturbed, disgusted, afraid, and in awe. Well fucking done you are brilliant,

...Ya know- i'm NeuroticNeko (forumname is different i know) and the quote up there is actually scaring me quite a bit- Although there might have been some UNINTENTIONAL MANIPULATION. It was a wonderfully written story and im shocked that someone out there would read into it so deeply and see...that. Im almost 100% sure that the author DID NOT intend to write a fic centered on ...that.

And although you liked it- i'm kinda wondering what you were thinking while reading... i mean i love Snarry and that was one of the ways that i thought postwar Harry and Snape would get together- lots of angst and tears- but in no way was it a HORROR story....

Oh well. pekeleke.. (GOD THE PENNAME IS GIVING ME A HARD TIME- i had to look at your post at least ten times to get it right) I think your story is wonderful and the 'Snarry Crowd' has NOT missed you- Snarry is my favourite pairing of all (Drarry's allright) and i think that any real fan of Snarry would look carefully through each summary of each list.

oh, and btw, pekeleke.

Another thing i noticed about your story which could be VERY potentially off-putting- and i know that i do, i almost didn't read your fic because i saw this-

THE TITLE AND ITS GRAMMAR.

Ok. I know, it sounds a little silly. The thing is, i'm still going to uni and working to be a full time author and i'm a stickler for perfect grammar and spelling. The way i seperate good fics from bad ones is by looking quickly through the title, summary and the ratio of review to hit rate and the number of chapters.

yes, i know. Very scary.

If i see 23 chapters and 1000,0000 hits, but only, lets say, 46 reviews. i'm going to assume that (from its hit rate) that it's attention grabbing and people like to read it. From the review numbers i would put two and two together and realize that the fic is probably erotica and not much else, because that is the type of fic is always a target of read and run. (Who wants to review after they've just had a good wank?).

The title, is a very important fic for the story. A well thought out one will represent the author's personality. Presentation is everything.

I suggest that you change the title, because the first thing people will see is that.

"The Voice Under All Silences"

There, just by formatting it like that it looks more professional. All story titles must have words that start with a capital, unless its a minor one (and, the... etc. Except in this case 'the' is the first word in the sentence, therefore starts with caps too).

The next thing that people will see is the summary. A well written one also shows the writeers personality and no one likes lazy authors who write "I could be bothered to write a summary but this story is good so please give it a try"

trust me, no ones gonna read it.

I see nothing wrong with your summary. It doesn't give anything away yet it has a rhetorical question in it- good call. The warnings- saw no problem with that either.

Anyway, it's getting late and i'm settling down to give your story a well deserved re-read,

Oh, and i read your other story (which has a similar title problem- NOT ENOUGH CAPS!!!!) " The mating rituals of the crabby hermit' SHOULD BE "The Mating Rituals of the Crabby Hermit"

very cute. Awesome read, disappointed that it was only a oneshot- cuz i think that its an awesome plot idea.

I apologize and kowtow deeply for being so dictator-like. But truly, it's just advice for a fellow author- the tricks of the trade and all...

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Guest pekeleke

You really seem to get what it is to be emotionally stunted and rooted in shyness and fears. Harry's feelings for Severus capture the things that jumped out at me causing me to latch on to his character as one of my favorites of all time (as well as a source of endless imaginary lustings)

Hi there, I'm very sorry I haven't kept up with this forum. For some reason I'm not getting any announcements on my mail about replies being posted here and I had already given it up for too old.

I'm glad you liked Harry's character. It took quite a lot of bashing from some readers when I posted the first few chapters of this, but people began warming up to him as soon as Severus' perception of him started to change.

Severus' voice was a lot harder to pin down, as he is deeply trapped within his own fears and confusion. Sometimes his slow pace and resistance to be snarky drove me nuts... but I had to persevere. This story was one of those that sticks into your mind and doesn't let up until its written.

Thank you for having taken the time to leave me a message. Again, I'm sorry it took me so long to answer you back.

sincerely

pekeleke

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Guest pekeleke

You really seem to get what it is to be emotionally stunted and rooted in shyness and fears. Harry's feelings for Severus capture the things that jumped out at me causing me to latch on to his character as one of my favorites of all time (as well as a source of endless imaginary lustings)

Hi there, I'm very sorry I haven't kept up with this forum. For some reason I'm not getting any announcements on my mail about replies being posted here and I had already given it up for too old.

I'm glad you liked Harry's character. It took quite a lot of bashing from some readers when I posted the first chapters of this, but people began warming up to him as soon as Severus' perception of him started to changed.

Severus' voice was a lot harder to pin down, as he is deeply trapped within his own fears and confusion.

Sometimes his slow pace and resistance to be snarky drove nuts... but I had to persevere. This story was one of those that sticks into your mind and doesn't let up until is written.

Thank you for having taken the time to leave me a message. Again, I'm sorry it took me so long to answer you back.

Sincerely

pekeleke

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Guest pekeleke

You really seem to get what it is to be emotionally stunted and rooted in shyness and fears. Harry's feelings for Severus capture the things that jumped out at me causing me to latch on to his character as one of my favorites of all time (as well as a source of endless imaginary lustings)

Hi there, I'm very sorry I haven't kept up with this forum. For some reason I'm not getting any announcements on my mail about replies being posted here and I had already given it up for too old.

I'm glad you liked Harry's character here. It took quite a lot of bashing from some readers when I posted the first chapters of this, but people began warming up to him as soon as Severus' perception of him started to changed. Severus' voice was a lot harder to pin down, as he is deeply trapped within his own fears and confusion.

Sometimes his slow pace and resistance to be snarky drove nuts... but I had to persevere. This story was one of those that sticks into your mind and doesn't let up until is written. Thank you for having taken the time to leave me a message. Again, I'm sorry it took me so long to answer you back.

Sincerely

pekeleke

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@pekele, did you subscribe to your topic? You do that, you get the emails that it has answers and updates. You do have to specify HOW you want notified though ;)

@xDAISUKIx - I've found over the years of reading that hits to review ration is certainly NOT a true indicator of story quality. If it was, there are many stories on this site alone that would have loads and loads of reviews, but often don't because of being in an old fandom (as an example)

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Guest pekeleke

@pekele, did you subscribe to your topic? You do that, you get the emails that it has answers and updates. You do have to specify HOW you want notified though ;)

@xDAISUKIx - I've found over the years of reading that hits to review ration is certainly NOT a true indicator of story quality. If it was, there are many stories on this site alone that would have loads and loads of reviews, but often don't because of being in an old fandom (as an example)

I'm not sure if I did subscribe to my topic or not. How do I do that? I did get a few notifications in the beginning but those stopped coming after a while, so I assumed this topic was dry. Thank you for pointing out an explanation as to what I must have done wrong in having failed to subscribe to this pots.

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Guest pekeleke

I loathe snarry and this was a great story! One thing that bothered me though was the relationship and how it formed. It seemed to me that it became Stockholm syndrome. Potter broke Severus down using psychological manipulation. and it was disturbing to me on every level that potter wouldnt stop doing something when Severus told him, or begged him too. Potter wouldn't leave him alone and crossed over every line. I didn't keep reading for the love, and I'm never shipping snarry, I just kept reading to see how things would end up. Like what happened to Severus in this fic, and how it ended is my worst nightmare and honestly I love that you scared me so badly!

I'm so disturbed about what I have read on so many levels. To me you didn't write a snarry or a paring fic. You wrote a perfect example of psychological manipulation and how, with enough time, you can completely break another human and mould him into what ever you want, by taking everything he holds dear, his privacy, his memories, and everything else.

This was the darkest fic I have ever read, it read like a horror story to me and because of that I give you the highest praise and this fic five stars. I'm disturbed, disgusted, afraid, and in awe. Well fucking done you are brilliant,

Hi there, I'm sorry it's taken me so long to respond to this comment, but I've been out of the forum for a while.

I'm not sure how to respond to this review exactly, as it seems to me that your view of this story is very different from my own. I can see why you'd think their relationship started as some sort of Stockolm sindrome, but that wasn't my intention at all. My intention was to tell a tale of healing. This was a journey that Severus undertakes and it takes him from a place where he's deeply wounded emotionally to another where he's able to see the world that surrounds him in a healthier way.

The beauty of writing is that readers can pick up a story and interpret it as they see fit. I'm glad this was able to pick your imagination, despite the theme you saw here, but I certainly can't agree with your view on it. Thank you for taking the time to send me your thoughts on this story. They might have shocked me greatly, but they were still appreciated.

sincerely

pekeleke

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Guest pekeleke

...Ya know- i'm NeuroticNeko (forumname is different i know) and the quote up there is actually scaring me quite a bit- Although there might have been some UNINTENTIONAL MANIPULATION. It was a wonderfully written story and im shocked that someone out there would read into it so deeply and see...that. Im almost 100% sure that the author DID NOT intend to write a fic centered on ...that.

And although you liked it- i'm kinda wondering what you were thinking while reading... i mean i love Snarry and that was one of the ways that i thought postwar Harry and Snape would get together- lots of angst and tears- but in no way was it a HORROR story....

Oh well. pekeleke.. (GOD THE PENNAME IS GIVING ME A HARD TIME- i had to look at your post at least ten times to get it right) I think your story is wonderful and the 'Snarry Crowd' has NOT missed you- Snarry is my favourite pairing of all (Drarry's allright) and i think that any real fan of Snarry would look carefully through each summary of each list.

oh, and btw, pekeleke.

Another thing i noticed about your story which could be VERY potentially off-putting- and i know that i do, i almost didn't read your fic because i saw this-

THE TITLE AND ITS GRAMMAR.

Ok. I know, it sounds a little silly. The thing is, i'm still going to uni and working to be a full time author and i'm a stickler for perfect grammar and spelling. The way i seperate good fics from bad ones is by looking quickly through the title, summary and the ratio of review to hit rate and the number of chapters.

yes, i know. Very scary.

If i see 23 chapters and 1000,0000 hits, but only, lets say, 46 reviews. i'm going to assume that (from its hit rate) that it's attention grabbing and people like to read it. From the review numbers i would put two and two together and realize that the fic is probably erotica and not much else, because that is the type of fic is always a target of read and run. (Who wants to review after they've just had a good wank?).

The title, is a very important fic for the story. A well thought out one will represent the author's personality. Presentation is everything.

I suggest that you change the title, because the first thing people will see is that.

"The Voice Under All Silences"

There, just by formatting it like that it looks more professional. All story titles must have words that start with a capital, unless its a minor one (and, the... etc. Except in this case 'the' is the first word in the sentence, therefore starts with caps too).

The next thing that people will see is the summary. A well written one also shows the writeers personality and no one likes lazy authors who write "I could be bothered to write a summary but this story is good so please give it a try"

trust me, no ones gonna read it.

I see nothing wrong with your summary. It doesn't give anything away yet it has a rhetorical question in it- good call. The warnings- saw no problem with that either.

Anyway, it's getting late and i'm settling down to give your story a well deserved re-read,

Oh, and i read your other story (which has a similar title problem- NOT ENOUGH CAPS!!!!) " The mating rituals of the crabby hermit' SHOULD BE "The Mating Rituals of the Crabby Hermit"

very cute. Awesome read, disappointed that it was only a oneshot- cuz i think that its an awesome plot idea.

I apologize and kowtow deeply for being so dictator-like. But truly, it's just advice for a fellow author- the tricks of the trade and all...

Hi there NeuroticNeko,

First of all let me thank you for your defense of my story. I certainly never attempted to write a dark Stockom syndrome inspired romance, but I can see how it could be read as one.

I know there are issues with the story: grammar and punctuation being some of them. I'm not a native English speaker and this was my very first published snarry, which means It wasn't betaed at all. Now please understand that none of those things are an excuse for the errors on this work, but an explanation for why they are there in the first place.

Thank you for pointing out your thoughts about the title. I'll look into that and probably change it. I'll try to remember this tip and use it in the future, too. Don't worry about sounding dictator-like to me, one of the reasons why I share my work is to receive constructive criticism about it, so that I may become a better writer.

About the reviews... I don't know. I'm finding that it greatly depends on the site. This story has gotten a lot of attention in some places and very little in others. It depends mainly on the timing of the post and the set up of the page. If they allow kudos, then almost nobody reviews and so on...

Thank you for having taken the time to send me your thoughts so far. I'll take them into account from now on.

sincerely

pekeleke

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Guest Dark-one

Hi there, I'm sorry it's taken me so long to respond to this comment, but I've been out of the forum for a while.

I'm not sure how to respond to this review exactly, as it seems to me that your view of this story is very different from my own. I can see why you'd think their relationship started as some sort of Stockolm sindrome, but that wasn't my intention at all. My intention was to tell a tale of healing. This was a journey that Severus undertakes and it takes him from a place where he's deeply wounded emotionally to another where he's able to see the world that surrounds him in a healthier way.

The beauty of writing is that readers can pick up a story and interpret it as they see fit. I'm glad this was able to pick your imagination, despite the theme you saw here, but I certainly can't agree with your view on it. Thank you for taking the time to send me your thoughts on this story. They might have shocked me greatly, but they were still appreciated.

Well I'm still realing from the story lol. Although my review sounded negative, believe me its Positive. I rarely ever get scared and your story compelled me to read all the way through and I have never once read all the way through a snarry. I will never see this story as anything less than Stockholm syndrome but in a way thats good because it leaves the potential for me to maybe one day recommend it to others.

Not to sound like a dick but maybe you should try reading your story through with Stockholm in mind from beginning to end. I think it might be fascinating!

sincerely

pekeleke

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