attackegg Posted September 9, 2012 Report Share Posted September 9, 2012 So I feel like a review whore doing this, like I should be grateful that I got any reviews at all and not go asking for more. But the thing is that I'm currently writing a story that's flowing out like no other story did before it, I'm seriously in love with it (the two of which don't necessarily go hand in hand) and I would desperately like some feedback because I can't tell what this "it just sort of all flows out in one go" is doing to the writing quality. There's violence in it, a fair few people die (although nobody that the reader would be attached to), but I think the biggest problem is that the main character is currently hurting, and not in a delicately tragic way. He's angry and hateful, and there isn't even any sex right now to make up for it. Not even hatesex. Not even rape (>.>). So will anybody stick with me through the depressing part of my story? It gets better, I swear! Author: attackegg Title: Berserk Summary: Sometimes you don't get away with raping them... sometimes they snap. The bloodiest kind of love story Feedback: I'd *like* to hear that the story is working, that it's convincing; who doesn't? But if it isn't, by all means tell me. Anyway feedback, yes, please. Fandom: Original Fiction Pairing: / Warnings: M/M sex, the usual range. Rape in the first chapter (unprettified), none after that; violence and death a little longer. After the current point only seen in memories. Solo story or chaptered story: Chaptered, probably between ten and fifteen. URL: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600105569 If anyone were to drop me a line, even if it's just to tell me that it really hurts to read (because of the content, not the quality >.>), I'd be forever grateful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kakashifan727 Posted September 10, 2012 Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 Ducked into the pew and hidden behind other people Briana nevertheless The way it reads just bugs me; probably just me as I have an odd writing style. I'd say like basic newb style, so maybe this is a new way of writing a sentence that I don't knwo of. All in all though, it was prettydamn good. I think I almost cried a couple times. And in my review, by worse, I mean like content wise. This isn't so gritty, at least i don;'t think it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
attackegg Posted September 10, 2012 Author Report Share Posted September 10, 2012 The way it reads just bugs me; probably just me as I have an odd writing style. I'd say like basic newb style, so maybe this is a new way of writing a sentence that I don't knwo of. Or, you know, I'm ESL, it could always be that. -.- I think I almost cried a couple times. Is it wrong to say I'm flattered? And in my review, by worse, I mean like content wise. Yeah, that was how I took it. Thank you for taking the time to read! And review, too! I'll try to return the favor, even if I don't know the people you're writing about. ;P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kakashifan727 Posted September 11, 2012 Report Share Posted September 11, 2012 No problem; plus this was good for me too! New things to read is always good. Shame Border's was bought out...I loved going there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DemonGoddess Posted September 11, 2012 Report Share Posted September 11, 2012 If you gals are having a discussion about the story, I'll need attackegg to create a topic for it in the appropriate place so I can split off these posts and then merge them in to that topic. Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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