Do gay men find straight men attractive

[fawnheart]

I had an in depth discussion about this with a male friend who is straight. I kind of think that gay men wouldn't be attracted to a straight man 'as a rule'. I suspect there would be instances where that would happen though.

My friend seems to think that if a gay man walks near him he will naturally have the hots for him and I kinda thought that...well...alot of gay men seem to actually give a shit about grooming...unlike my friend...so unless they like the sweaty hairy type I think he is pretty safe.

So, is it a case of women who like women, like women because they are women, and men who like men like them because they are men, and is it open season on everyone or is attraction usually restricted to people of the same persuasion.

I keep thinking of the notion that some people maintain, i.e. love is really a chemical reaction, caused by certain circumstances creating endorphins or the like in the brain, triggering notions or feelings that become associated with 'love'.

But if that's true, then wouldn't straight people be attracted to gay people, if the circumstances were right and the personality was attractive?

I hope this makes sense, I'd love to see what other people think.

[Shirotaka]

Of course it's possible for a gay man to be attracted to a straight man.

Though not gay myself, I have had a couple of gay friends who would approach me every so often and ask me what I thought about this guy or this guy, or "Do you think he's hot?"

Most of these people were straight, some of them even had girlfriends myself and the people asking me about them could see plain as day hanging over these guys.

Love/attraction is not discriminate to gender, even in the "straightest" men or women. I know that most would not admit it, every single person has felt some sort of weird feeling they cannot explain for someone of the same sex that has made them seriously question their sexuality.

I am not afraid to admit I had a man crush on one of my friends in CA a few years back, doesn't mean I'm gay; I am in a devoted relationship with a wonderful woman.

Attraction is both chemical and situational, meaning it has something to do with how you were raised (seriously) so pinpointing exactly how any one person will feel about person X, Y, or Z pulled from a crown at random is damn near impossible.

The next person you look at, male or female, could be the most beautiful thing you have ever seen.

[Keith Inc.]

It seems to me, attractive is largely based on if you can imagine spending time with the object of your attraction. For me, Jessica Simpson is NOT attractive, because i can't imagine a conversation with her that doesn't end in a gunshot. I can't find smokers attractive.

There are a number of women i've found attractive on stage and screen. Some have come out of the closet after i determined them to be acceptable partners for whoopie smoochies. Their orientation doesn't make their body any less attractive to me.

I would maybe be less likely to mention my attraction, if we ever met, out of respect for their orientation. Unlike many of my former shipmates, who would make a point of hitting on lesbians, out of a belief that they were just such super lovers that they could turn them. (I'm sure that somewhere in the population, someone is attracted to a hairy backed body shaped much like an avocado, with a gentle, unbroken slope from the ear to the waist, but i doubt that he is THE cure for lesbianism.)

[Kanashii]

Well, I can only speak from my own experiences. My brother who is 39 is gay, and he has many times been attracted to straight men.

I consider myself a heterosexual female and have been married for 24 years, however I have had lesbians give me invites (which I politely refused, but thanked them for the compliment).

I also know that as a heterosexual woman there ARE certain women I find attractive. I may not want to go to bed with them, but I can look at them and say "My, that one is VERY hot and attractive! So very pretty!" (Julie Newmar and Jane Mansfield come to mind and a few others).

My brother who is gay has also found certain women to be attractive even though he would have no interest in having sex with them.

For most people sex ALWAYS starts between the ears (your brain) depending on your likes, fetishes, fantasies and what YOU personally think is arousing and attractive. (For me it's ultra TALL guys and guys with Italian accents. Even though the husband is only 5'4 and american, no accent <G>) but we all have our "attractions".

This in my humble opinion is just normal, period. Yes gay men are attracted to straight men, gay women to straight women, straight people to gay people (There was one man who dated my brother and he was from Italy and tall...I was VERY attracted! LOL!) but that is the sexual attraction between the ears and because of our fetishes and likes. Had Mr. Gay tall Italian invited me for a quicky fling in the bed, I would have refused without a second thought.

[Kanashii]

I also wanted to add to my post, that just quick PHYSICAL attraction (looking at someone and thinking they are "hot") is much different than the attraction that comes when KNOWING someone and being their partner for many years or decades.

Neither me or my husband would be considered "hawt" but yet each time we see each other our hearts still beat with love, and our eyes and hearts know what the other is thinking before we say it. When I FIRST met him, I didn't find him "hot" in the least (remember, I liked ultra tall guys.) but he and I dated awhile and after about a month, my heart began bending in ways it had never done before.

There are people you want FLINGS with, and then there are people you want a part of your heart and soul the rest of your life. Who you feel you can grow old with, ya know? Two different ways of love, in my opinion.

[shinigamiinochi]

I guess the easiest way to think of it is how so many guys fantasize about lesbians. I mean, if I straight guy can fall for a gay girl, then a gay guy can fall for a straight guy. Really, anyone can fall for anyone. That's what sucks about sexuality; it's seldom black and white.

[Lost_Soul]

Yesss.... some of them have fetishes for stright men having sex with gay men. For example, it's like a straight man is attracted to lesbians. XD; And actually, the porn indusrty for gay men having sex with straight men are highly payed and is widly sold in the market. Go figure...

[Quatre Winner]

As a lesbian I can only offer my own pitiful experiences up for consideration, but I enjoy looking at people of both sexes. I find both equally attractive. However, would I actively hit on them? No. I've had several men hit on me, to which I've politely replied that I'm in a relationship, and told the pushy few that I am, in fact, gay (which is only half true, I'm bi, with no real preference for either over the other).

So, gay people can be attracted to straight people, yes. Is the opposite true? Probably, but I can't say for certain. I have found several men attractive who turned out to be gay (there was a saying at my boarding school: All the cute guys were either taken or gay), but that was before I came into sexuality, period. However, from my experience, physical attraction isn't everything. My wife I met over the internet, actually, and I fell in love with her personality before I ever saw a picture of her.

Those are just my humble experiences. Take them however you'd like.

[icewo1f]

I am a male, and i am homosexual, and I can tell you from personal experience, it's just as if a straight man is attracted to some straight women, They find some attractive, and some none attractive.

The same goes for us, but there is no rule, and I personally don't think it has to do with either of them being gay or straight, It all depends on what the person finds attractive.

If i can be of any more help at all, Please, don't hestitate to ask =)

I am proud to be homosexual, and I have no problems with anyone asking about the details of that niche.

[bitBlackmage]

I have been attracted to straight women, but I never say anything because more than likely it will be a big hassle.

Anyway, yes people can be attracted to those that are of a different sexuality either knowingly or not. However, much of this sounds like there is a tiny part of someone's ego saying "I know I'm hot if even (guys/girls) want me!".

[Monkey Lady]

Attraction isn't about sexuality necessarily. It's about certain things just clicking into place, though I'm sure sex is a big part of it. I identify primarily as a straight female (married to a boy and everything), but about 90% of my crushes in the past 10 years have been with females. I'm attracted to strong personalities and a certain amount of free spiritedness. Of course if I wasn't married to a man, I would happily try to explore this bi-curious side too. I think that you can be attracted to anyone that strikes your fancy just right, gay or straight. Though I have to admit that several of the women I crushed on were in fact lesbians, though that might have to do with them being slightly more likely to return that attraction than another straight female might. Not sure there. Anyway I think that gay men would be attracted to anyone that they see as their personal type, just like you would or I would. They might proceed with caution or simply admire from afar, if they were uncertain of the other man's sexual preferences, but that doesn't stop the initial attraction. Yeah for boys who like boys. Bless you all!

[Monkey Lady]

As a bisexual girl, I can say that, yes, I have been attracted to straight girls before, unfortunately. However... I don't go after anything that moves, something that some people can't understand, especially when I was going to high school. When the girls in my class found that I was, in fact, attracted to other girls, some of them avoided sitting next to me, and some of them flirted with me, although they had no intention of going any further than that.

Generally, gay or bi does not mean that one tackles anything that moves of it's sexual persuasion and has mad sex with them.

I don't understand why people don't get that.

As a bisexual woman, perhaps you can help me with something. I am married to a man and I'm very much attracted to him (good thing right?), yet nearly all of my crushes in the past 10 years have been with females. There was like one guy and then about seven women. Do you suppose that it's just natural for women to find other women attractive? My husband and I went through a rough patch about a year ago and a few times during that period he mentioned that I should go back to the US (we were in Japan) and explore my attraction to women (I later discovered that this suggestion was more to get me out of the country where he was having an affair...but that's another story). I was all set to move back to Moscow (in Idaho and my former college town). It's a really open town (yes in idaho) and the gay community is awesome there and well accepted by the general population. Anyway I was truly considering it and even planning where I might go to find other women who might introduce me to this new wonderful world. I was searching for an apartment online, wondering where I could work, and if this one bartender still worked at CJ's bar (she just had something about her that had me going back to the bar over and over in hopes that somehow she'd take an interest in me). Now, does that make me just another straight, vaguely lonely woman, assuming that all women can find other women sexually attractive, or does that place me in a bisexual 'category'. Does one actually have to have a relationship with a woman and a man to identify as such or can you simply feel a very strong attraction? It's very confusing. I still wonder what it would have been like and even now I've decided that should we ever divorce, I will return to Moscow and attempt to explore this side of me. Maybe that will even help answer this topic. There are a lot of people in this gray area of attraction, and sexuality in general may have nothing to do with whom you are attracted to.