Guest Kin Posted June 16, 2012 Report Share Posted June 16, 2012 Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to take this first chapter and run with it! If you've seen The Chronicles of Riddick, you'll notice a 99% similarity of the dialog to the movie. I've simply altered the dialog slightly and the positioning of a particular character quite drasticly. My requirements... -Do the standard disclaimer (duh!) -Credit me for the first chapter (I'm your inspiration, damn it) -Do NOT call her "Jack" (oh the malicious hatred of that name...) -PM me to let me know you've published your awesomeness! Here it is. Go for it! "Kyra?…" Riddick looked down to the floor of the hanger, to the unconscious female form lying prone behind a rock, sheltered from the waves of heat leaking in from the raw planet outside the bay doors. In his focus on her, he didn't realize how distracted he was until he was shocked from thoughts by a voice from behind him. "I was supposed to deliver a message to you," Riddick whipped his head around to face the voice, hand already reaching for any of his remaining blades, "if Vaako failed to kill you." Standing behind him was the man he recognized as the speaker when the Necros were trying to recruit converts. The blonde was calmly removing his finger gauntlets and other decorative pieces, placing them on top of a toolbox he stood next to. "A message from the Lord Marshal himself," the man continued. "He tells you to stay away from Helion, stay away from him, and in return you'll be hunted no more." Riddick watched as the man put down what appeared to be his badge of rank, the last of his decorative pieces. He turned back to where Kyra lay on the floor, noticing the drag marks in the dust where the blonde must have brought her inside after Riddick. He clearly remembered being knocked out while still outside, so this man must have brought them in to keep them from being burned to ash. He quickly turned back around as he heard the slide of a blade against the top of that toolbox, instantly recognizing it as the blade he used to kill the lieutenant warrior who had killed his only male friend. "But Vaako will most likely report you as dead," the blonde told him as he stepped closer, the blade loosely gripped in his right hand. "So this is your chance." Riddick stared at the floor as he took in the words, also waiting for the man to approach within distance. "Your chance to do what no man has ever done." Before the last of the breath left the man when he finished speaking, Riddick clutched at the blonde's throat, his thumb pressed hard into his trachea. "The girl," he growled at the man. "He is not to hunt the girl either. She comes with me." Even with his goggles on, he knew his penetrating stare could be felt by the man in his grasp. "Of course," he gasped, not making the slightest move to dislodge Riddick's hold on him. "As long as she is yours, she is under the same protection." Mine… the word sounded good, sounded right in his head. She was his, always had been. From the planet of darkness, to this one of soul-piercing light. He protected her then, he would do so now. "Tell your Lord that I accept his offer." Riddick let go of the man's throat and held out his hand, waiting. Instantly knowing what he was wanting, the blonde slowly raised the blade and placed the handle in Riddick's hand. "I don't have to." Riddick arched a brow to the man's words. "He will know when you don't come after him." The messenger turned and looked straight out to the burning planet beyond the bay doors. After a few moments of silence, he muttered almost to himself. "We all might have gone another way…" With that, the Necro walked forward out of the hanger, his body burned to ash as he walked within a matter of seconds. Riddick watched with astonishment at the act of suicide that may have been honorable; he wasn't quite sure. Once the remains of the blonde were scattered to the wind, he looked back down to the unconscious Kyra. Tucking the blade away in a loop at the small of his back, he approached her and hefted her into his arms, mindful of the 2nd and possibly 3rd degree burns that adorned her now toughened skin. "Bastard could've at least gotten you inside first, let me burn a bit instead," he muttered as he carried her bridal style towards the merc ship behind him. To be continued... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KindredWoD Posted June 16, 2012 Report Share Posted June 16, 2012 Sorry, I forgot to sign in before posting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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