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Time In Hell by LakotaGirl review responses & general comments


Guest LakotaGirl

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Guest LakotaGirl

Hi! This is a thread I've started to reply to all those reviews and provide general info on this story as well as give you a place to do the same. Once I've examined all the reviews I'll get hot on the responses, but I wanted to get this thread going in case you wanted to "talk amongst yourselves".

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Guest Mistress Denna

Hi!

I just noticed you left a link for answers/questions in chapter 7 but didn't notice it before I posted some naughty comments for your consideration of story.

I would have posted them here instead of leaving them in reviews so apologize.

Mistress Denna

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Guest LakotaGirl

No problem Mistress Denna. And I must tell you, in my own not so humble opinion, great minds think alike as some of your suggestions were already in my notes as possibilities for things to do to poor Shane.

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Guest Mistress Denna

Just another thought but did you ever mention whether or not Shane had a cell phone and if he did wouldn't his parents be able to track him through GPS once they know he is missing. If he didn't take a cell phone with him, that was a very foolish mistake and he is paying for it. Maybe he had like a track phone, I think that wouldn't have GPS.

I was also wondering, where the others who they video taped really not victims but willing particpants or porn actorsor students who got paid for acting that way for the dvds to make extra money? If so, Shane would actually really be their first (and hopefully) only victim/pet/prisinor that they plan on holding on to since no one knows where his other then them. Some of the 'actors' or 'college kids' might not have liked what they had to do but did it anyway and could leave when it was over.

Maybe they decided once they saw Shane, that he wastheir 'new star' and will bring them more bucks in the porn industry or something.

Just thinking about that,

Mistress Denna

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Guest dazedandconfused

Oh my! Did I do something to offend you! I think you removed some of my reviews! Maybe, it's just me because I know I review a lot of stories and sometimes get carried away with them.

By the way, will you be updating soon? Don't forget you didn't update this one like you did the others a few days ago. Could you please make chappies a little bit longer. I do love the cliffhangers!!

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Guest Mistress Denna

I am getting ready to hit the sack but came up with another brilliant idea. What about a chastity belt of some kind? I dunno just another thought. Please keep Shane filled and confined. Another question, in chap 7 they have a ball gag on Shane. I know the reason why because they didn't want to disturb the dogs but you mentioned something about the cameras under the sling getting a good shot of Shane's hold and mouth but the gag's in it. Maybe, they will take it out after the dogs f-c-k him and let them go at his mouth and his cock.

I hope you get back to updating all 3 of these stories soon. I miss the 3 or so chapters you used to upload at one time.

I will be dreaming of Shane tonight and what his is being subject to by the Hans and Fritz at Hell.

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Guest LakotaGirl

Hey all, so as promised, here are the responses to your questions or comments plus a little insight into how I write.

I usually have a complete outline before I begin writing anything that covers all the events in the story through to the end. This story is an exception. All I had when I began were the concept (pretty young man walks into the wrong bar) and a list of a bunch of perverse things I'd do to said young man in the course of a single night.

The original plan was to put him there then just write one sex scene after another until it seemed like a night had passed, but then I got ideas and suggestions and my imagination went a little wild...

So more than most of my other stories, this one is developing as I go so I have not 100% decided what will become of Shane. Since these guys have done this before they have a whole system that keeps them from getting caught. Keeping a pet for ALL of them to use might hurt the delicate power balance and cut into the profits from future DVD sales if they just keep using Shane and don't get any other new victims. So I've pretty much decided that Shane won't be kept by the miners as a group.

I'm teetering between two outcomes: he's played with for a weekend and released like all their other victims or he's claimed by one of the miners and kept. I figure I have at least until they all have to go back to work Monday to make up my mind.

Here are answers to some common questions:

UPDATES?? - I try to write every day, but don't always get a chance to (stupid real life...). And my internet access is less than reliable (something I'm hoping to remedy very soon). So for now the updates will be made as often as I have access. Most days when I update I'll be updating all three of my stories unless I'm unhappy with how one of them is going then I'll wait until I'm happy with it. I don't want to post something if it's craptastic.

DEATH?? - OK, one question that got asked quite a bit was about death or dismemberment. This is definitely not a death fic. I'm not much of a fan of having my favorite characters die in stories I read or write. So in all of my stories, the only ones that will die will be the bad guys. I promise. As for maiming and such, I'm also not a fan. However tattoos or piercings are always possible.

DURATION?? - At first I thought I'd do just a "One Night In Hell" which was the original title, but based on reviews and the amount of fun I was having playing with Shane, this is going to be more than one night. How much longer than one night has yet to be determined. I'm toying with several ideas right now.

HOW?? - How do these guys get away with doing this? That question will be answered.

Thank you to CelticThunderFan for letting me know that anonymous reviews were not allowed so I could switch that and allow them.

Thank you to LadyHawke for the suggestion about switching the category to Erotica from Darkfic. I figured, hey there's a rape so it must be a Darkfic. Guess my idea of "Dark" is pretty vanilla in the AFF world.

To Roya who stated "I think it was better for him to stay with the driver" about Shane and Bob Smith, Mr. Smith is a bit more sinister than originally imagined. He was always intended to be but when I re-read the first chapter after reading your review I realized I hadn't made it obvious enough that Mr. Smith is not what he appears to be. So some of the rewrites were to make him seem more creepy.

To CelticThunderFan & Mistress Denna who mentioned going into the mine, when this a one night only fic I never considered it as a possibility although I had a few ideas, but once I decided to make this longer it became a distinct possibility. Especially since there is a 1 or 2 man maintenance crew hard at work down there that won't get to sample Shane... *hint, hint*

To Anon and LadyHawke who asked why they would let him go or why do they they can get away with it, after the rewrite it is more obvious that this isn't the first time they've done this. They've always let their victims go before, but have evaded prosecution. I'll reveal in detail how that was done, no matter what I decide to do with Shane, but the bartender being the sheriff plays a major role.

To Mistress Denna who mentioned "...after this is all over Shane will have learned his lesson about the dangers of hitchhiking and the perils of traveling alone", Shane will learn many, many lessons while in the hands of these men... *snicker*

To Itrasheditgood who asked if 'Shane Dawson' was the inspiration for Shane Dalton, the answer is I have no idea who Shane Dawson is. I'll have to google him when I get a chance. The inspiration for Shane Dalton's has nothing to do with any real person. I wanted a soft-sounding (no hard consonant sounds), monosyllabic name and it was a toss-up between Shane and Shaun. I went with Shane as I thought it might be more common for a young man his age. Shaun was really popular when I was a kid but I don't think it's as popular with kids born in 1989 or 1990 like Shane would have been to be 21 now. Dalton is actually because my hometown was once called Dalton and while I was searching for a last name I saw the sign for our town's historical society which is called the "Dalton Historical Society".

Edited by LakotaGirl
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Guest LakotaGirl

To dazedandconfused, yeah, I think I lost a couple reviews but I thought you might have deleted them. I think all they had was a request to update and the note about fixing Chapter Four. Since it disappeared after I did that I thought you might have deleted them.

Hmmmm...

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Guest Mistress Denna

I just read your responses and am really hoping that you choose this outcome: Shane is claimed by one of the miners and kept!

I would be so happy with that scenario even though Shane might not be, LOL.

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Guest Mistress Denna

I don't know if you actually are reading the responses I am posting under this topic. I really don't want to interrupt your writing so will I desist putting my suggestions/ideas up so you can just get to work with your stories. I will love them all whatever the outcome. Best of luck with all of them and keep writing.

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Guest LakotaGirl

I am reading the responses Mistress Denna and as I said before, Great minds think alike! Or maybe I should say devious minds...

I usually only write when I'm not on-line since my internet time is rare and precious. I have two new chapters done for each of my three stories but I'm still tweaking them as I'm not 100% happy with them yet. I'm hoping to be able to post three new chapters for each of them when/if I get online tomorrow, which happens to be my birthday.

I'll make it a present to me.

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Guest Mistress Denna

Ok, then, regarding this outcome for story;

Shane is claimed by one of the miners and kept!

What if one of the miners still down in the shaft is young maybe just a few years older than Shane. His father could be Mack "The top dog" and he takes a real shinning to Shane. Perhaps Shane's life is not as happy as we originally thought and he has no real family that cares what happens to him. Maybe, Shane even starts to develop some kind of feelings towards this kid too. Shane want's to be dominated by him and have someone who cares for him take control of his life so he doesn't have to worry about anything.

Just another suggestion for your consideration but I kind of like that. It would be an unexpected turn of events.

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Guest LakotaGirl

Thank you for the birthday wishes. I already have a certain someone picked out who will want Shane, if I go in that direction which I'm heavily leaning towards.

And the men who work the mines aren't really all that much older than Shane. Most are in their late 20's to late 30's.

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Guest Mistress Denna

I have tried posting this message 3 or 4 times now and hope it takes this time. In case it's duplicated, I am very sorry.

I really hope you go in the direction of having one of the men taking an interest in Shane and wanting to keep him.

What did you think of my idea about Bill Smith returning to the bar on his return trip and finding Shane still there then having his way with him?

Will you be writing more stories like the 3 you are working on now?

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Guest LakotaGirl

Hi all,

I have a whole list of story outlines (actually about 10 or 12 originals and a couple of fanfics) that I am dying to start on, but I won't until I finish these three or at least two of them. I don't want to be one of those writers that has 50 stories started that you have to wait forever to see updates on. It becomes too easy to just start new ones without ever finishing any of the old ones and I hate it when that happens.

Mistress Denna, I saw your suggestion about Bob Smith returning. Bob is going to play a pivotal role in the story, but not return to the bar.

So tell me again why I went with the dogs? Oh, yeah, it's hot. But the writing of the sex scene is giving me fits. I've reviewed the work of several other authors as well as veterinary and breeder references to get the workings of the knot correct. Because of that the rest of the material feels a bit sloppy so I'm waiting to post it until I'm happy with it.

There will be three chapters posted when I do update since I've written three.

I finally had to break down and prepare an outline since this story is getting more complicated than originally planned. I've got 9 more chapters mapped out (including the three that are written), which includes an epilogue, but there may be sequels because of how I've got Shane's final fate designed.

Yes, I have come to a decision about what to do with Shane, but you'll have to wait and see.

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Guest Mistress Denna

Happy Birthday, girl!

Ok, I have to admit that I am really starting to get the shivers just imaging what you are going to come up with in regards to Shane's final fate! I am practically drooling over the waiting for the chapters involving the dogs. Doesn't the knot expand or something when the male is sheathed in the female? Their cock will remain inside the female (or in this case Shane!) until it goes down. I am so excited that you mentioned there are possible sequels in the future!! I can't explain it but there is just something about this story and Shane that has me wanting more. Do you know what I mean? I will probably cry once the eplogue chapter is uploaded because then Shane's story is over, or is it?

I wish I could get into your mind to find out what is going to happen because the waiting is literally driving me insane.........

Again, I really hope you had a wonderful Birthday and didn't eat too much cake and ice cream! Enjoy the rest of the day!

I will be waiting for new chapters to find out what happens to Shane next!!!!

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Guest Mistress Denna

Oh, go read this one shot story called Solution Shop: Canine Catastrophe by Anais Wannabe and you will see mention of the knot and how it swells up inside the female so she can't get away until the male is finished. This story is about a boy called Franklin and his run in with Duke.

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Guest LakotaGirl

Anais Wannabe is one of my recommended reading authors listed on my page, so I definitely used her stories as reference on the dog's knot. I tried something I hadn't seen yet in a story.

I change perspectives in my story so you know how more than one character feels or what they're thinking. So I decided to write from Fritz' perspective as he was taking Shane. Don't know how effective it was, but thought it would make the scene with Fritz different than the one with Hans.

And Jimmy is an interesting guess, but the person that wants to keep Shane will be obvious in the next chapter(s). They're written but really rough.

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Guest Mistress Denna

Oh, I see you online so am getting excited that you are working on uploaded new chapters on all three stories today! I will be happy when you find time to post at least 3 chapters per story like you started when you first began to write. I hope this means your computer problems are gone so you can focus on writing and uploading new chapters!

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Guest LakotaGirl

Sorry for the delays on updating this one. I had the next chapters mapped out, then went in a completely different direction when I wrote them, and now I'm trying to decide whether to go with the original plan or where my imagination took me.

Grrr...

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