Jokes

[Guest echtrae]

Perhaps the thing to do with this forum is to tell jokes. Make the joke of any length.

*************

A married couple were driving down the road to their remote farmhouse one evening. As they pulled into their driveway, they noticed a flying saucer sitting in their yard. Stunned, the couple got out of the car and gawked at the ship. After a couple of moments they noticed that there were figures moving towards them. The couple watched as the pair of figures approached. Much to their surprise, the newcomers looked rather human.

"Hi, we're from Alpha Centauri. I'm Grabnik and this is my wife Kresna," the indicated newcomer gave a slight bow.

The married couple, managed to come out of their reverie at this point. "I'm Bob, and this is my wife Martha. How can we help you?" asked the husband.

"We've come to experience alien sex with humans. Would you be interested?"

Bob immediately thought yes, but hesitated, unsure how Martha was going to react to this request. Much to his surprise, she responded affirmatively. "Oh, that sounds most interesting. Doesn't that sound interesting dear?" she queried him.

Trying not to sound too eager, Bob took a moment to pretend he was considering and then he jumped on the bandwagon. "You know, this could be fun."

So, the new couples separated. Grabnik taking Martha into the house and Kresna taking Bob into the ship.

Martha and Grabnik undressed and she got her first chance to eye her new partner. He noticed her glance and smiled at her. "You don't need to worry, it can be made bigger."

Her face brightened up, "Really?"

"Oh yes. Pull on my left ear and it will lengthen," and he demonstrated, "or pull on my right ear and it will become thicker."

Martha had the time of her life for the entire night. It was the best sex she had ever had in her life.

The next morning the couples rejoined, said their goodbyes, and the aliens departed. Martha all-aglow after the night she had, looked at her husband and noticed his haggard look. "What's matter dear? Wasn't the sex any good?"

"The sex was fine, but it was difficult to enjoy it. That damn alien kept tugging on my ears all night long."

[Guest echtrae]

Ran across this on another forum.

**********

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[Guest lightgoddess]

I've got one that my husband told me.

An indian walked into a bar with a rifle in his left hand and a lead with a buffalo on the end in his right. He sat at the bar and ordered a cup of coffee. The bartender looked at him quizzically and gave him his cup. The indian sat there quietly and drank the strong brew. When he was done, he turned, lifted his rifle, and shot the buffalo. Everyone in the bar was in shock when the indian walked out.

The next day, the indian returned with a rifle in his left hand and leading another buffalo. He sat down an ordered coffee again. "Whoa!" the bartender said. "What are you doing coming into my bar, drinking coffee and killing that beast? We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday!"

The indian raised an eyebrow and replied, "I'm practicing to be a congressman. I come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, and leave someone else to clean up the mess."

[Guest Knorg]

In the spirit of the season:

"Why doesn't Santa have any kids of his own?"

"Because he only comes once a year, and that's down the chimney."

Edit: 200 post milestone! Must... try... to... care!

[DarkCabaret]

Bill and Ned walk into a fast food joint one afternoon to get lunch. Bill orders and the cashier gives him his meal. Ned goes up to order and the cashier greets him with "Hello Ned! How are you? Hey everybody! Ned's here!" Everybody in the restaurant comes up and says hello to Ned. After everyone has greeted him, Bill and Ned sit down and begin to eat.

"Ned, you're pretty popular!" says Bill. "I'm the most popular man in the world," says Ned.

"Now Ned," says Bill, your pretty popular but you're not the most popular man in the world."

"Oh yeah," Ned replies "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I'm friends with anybody you can name!"

"That so?" answers Bill, "How about the President of the United States?"

"Let's go!" says Ned.

The two fly to Washington and knock on the front door of the White House. The president answers, "Ned! How are you doing? I haven't seen you in ages!" The three go play a round of golf and then leave.

"That was luck!" says Bill, "Two thousand says your not friends with the Queen of England!"

"Let's go!" says Ned.

The two fly to Buckingham Palace and, sure enough, are greeted by the Queen. ''Hello Ned my boy! What have you been up to these days?" They enter the palace and have some tea and leave.

Frustrated, Bill says, "Double or nothing, you don't know the Pope!"

"Benny!" says Ned, "Let's go!"

When they get to the Vatican, Ned instructs Bill to wait outside and Ned will come out on the balcony with his arm around the Pope. After a while, a crowd gathers to hear the Pope speak. And as told by Ned, when the Pope came out, Ned's arm was wrapped around him. Ned looks down from the balcony and see's Bill passed out on the ground. He rushes down and wakes him up.

"Bill! Bill! Wake up!" Bill opens his eyes and says,

"Ned. You're the most popular man in the world."

"I told you that, Bill," says Ned, "but you didn't faint when I knew the President! You didn't faint when I knew the Queen!"

"Well I was shocked that you knew the Pope," says Bill. "But I just couldn't take it when the guy next to me tapped me on the shoulder and said "Who's that up there with Ned?"

[Leonhart29]

I was told this one today (and I'm hoping I got it right) so sit back and get ready to laugh (I hope).

Coffee and Sex

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband's libido.

"What about trying Viagra?" asks the doctor.

"Not a chance," she said. "He won't even take an aspirin!"

"Not a problem," replied the doc. "Give him an Irish Viagra. Drop it into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went."

It wasn't a week later that she called the doctor, who inquired as to progress.

The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid. Just terrible, doctor!"

"Really? What happened?" asked the doctor.

"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped hisself straight up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there, making wild, mad, passionate love to me on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!"

Why so terrible?" asked the doctor. "Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good?"

"Oh, no, no, no, Doctor, the sex was fine indeed! Twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to

show me face in Starbucks again!"

[Guest Adara]

LOL, oh lord...the poor, poor woman! That was great! LOL

[madlodger]

I nicked this one from the LJ of a fine HP Slash Writer:

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" reportedly offered by an English professor from the University of Colorado for an actual class assignment.

The professor told his class one day:

"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent.

There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the email. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of his English students, Rebecca and Gary.

THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit ! over Sky lon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

Rebecca: He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel", Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

Gary: Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.

Thousands of miles above the city, the Anudrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenceless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anudrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmo! sphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.

Rebecca: This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

Gary: Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"

Rebecca: As*hole

Gary: B*tch!

Rebecca: F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!

Gary: In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.

TEACHER: A+ - I really liked this one.

This really made me laugh!

[Guest echtrae]

Madlodger, that was just too funny.

[Nanaea]

Sorta reminds me of the Orgy. (Only I'd like to think that the sexes get along a bit better here.)

[madlodger]

echtrae -

Madlodger, that was just too funny. 

That's the reason this piece was saved, it made me LOL for real. It's even better considering that it's real. Those kids will make fine writers one day.

Nanaea -

(Only I'd like to think that the sexes get along a bit better here.)

I think they do And they got some action going; no chamomile tea here, ha.

[Nanaea]

Got this via email this morning and just had to share:

Nine words women use...

1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.

Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true.

[Leonhart29]

I've gotten that one before - and I sent to every single man I knew... a few of them aren't talking to me anymore. I still love it though.

[teeta]

Found it somewhere in the net, can't remember where, but ... Just read!

I Hate Peeing When I've Got A Boner

It really sucks peeing when you've got a boner. Especially at 4 in the morning when you can't really think straight. Luckily this has happened before so I had the presence of mind on this occasion to sit down to pee instead of trying to aim an arc of urine from far away over the bathmat and into the toilet bowl. This method causes major splashback and results in lots of piss ending up on the floor, toilet seat back, and sometimes shower curtain and/or mirror, and/or my face.

But it's a delicate act, peeing with a boner, even while sitting down. It's painful- really painful to force your engorged member underneath the rim, where it brushes against the inside of the bowl (which is cold and revolting) and then having to lean way over so that the damn thing points down instead of straight out where it almost always manages to shoot out between the rim and the seat, which results in pee on your leg, underwear, floor, and possibly the door or wall across from the toilet, depending on how bad you really have to go. Sometimes in mid-stream it will get the better of you (it's a surprisingly springy contraption). You think it's resting safely and securely so you decide to risk reaching over for some toilet paper- and BAM! It pops out from your firm hold and relinquishes a torrent of pee on your hands and anything else in its line of sight which usually includes your face, chest, towels, pets, etc.

And even then, even if you've accomplished all of this, you will not be able to pee in a normal, free-flowing stream. You will have to pee in short, girly little bursts because it refuses to come out in a steady fashion for some reason- possibly because of the contortionist act you're putting your poor member in, bent down in such an unnatural fashion.

Eventually, after say, ten minutes of leaning over and pointing down, alternating between having the tip of your dick either against the toilet bowl or in the toilet water, pissing in squirts, you're finally done. And after you either congratulate yourself on not having pissed all over yourself and the bathroom, or you wipe all the urine off of your hands, face, towels, mirror, shower curtain, walls, cat, and any other place it probably hit, you give yourself a pat on the back and go back to bed, praying to God that you may never have to pee with a boner again.

And that's another, from the same source I can't find right now ...

Dear, guy masturbating in the bathroom stall at my work...

Ok, I get it. You had to rub one out. I know the feeling. Maybe it was thinking about that totally hot little minx in purchasing that got you going. Or you got some steamy email from your wife. Whatever it was, you just needed a little release. We've all been there my friend.

But if I may be so bold as to offer a few tips?

1. Location Location Location - Maybe it was the bathroom closest to your desk. Maybe it has bigger stalls for more elbow room. But whatever the reason, the bathroom just off the factory floor is not your best choice. It is huge for a reason. There are about 80-90 workers on that factory floor at all times, plus about 30-40 office workers, and there's almost always at least one person who needs to take a squirt.

2. Silence is Golden - While we all might empathize with your situation, NO ONE WANTS YOU HEAR YOU SLAP YOUR SALAMI!! And we certainly don't want to hear the gentle grunts you were letting out. It was like being forced to listen to the audio of a bad gay porn soundtrack, minus the cheesy Casio keyboard jazz/funk fusion music. Keep it down, will ya?

3. Ms Manners says... - Ok, so you had a poor choice in bathrooms and you are just naturally loud. Even elemental problems such as these can be overcome by following rule #3. When someone comes into the bathroom....STOP!!! Seriously, I'd think that would be the easiest rule to follow. Did you not hear me open the door? Did you not hear me pull the ass gasket from the holder, tear off those 3 annoying pieces that hold the center in place, and sit down? Good god man, another man is taking a shit not 8 feet away from you. Shouldn't that take the bloom off the rose, so to speak?

4. Good fences make good neighbors - This is the most important rule of all. If you have been caught rubbing one out in the men's room, do not, under any circumstances, come out of your stall until all affected parties have left the bathroom. I'm never going to be able to get the picture out of my head of you going over to the sink right next to the one I was at, and looking at me in your mirror with a big contented smile while you're washing your hands.

They don't make a body soap strong enough for the ick I felt after that. No amount of showering tonight will do it I'm afraid.

[Leonhart29]

Oh boy - those were laugh out loud material.

[Guest Knorg]

Jesus walked into a hotel and put three nails on the reception desk. He said, "Can you put me up for the night?"

[Shirotaka]

Two Irishmen walk out of a bar.

[Guest Zyx]

Two Irishmen walk out of a bar.

LMAO XD

I liked the one with the writing assignment best though

Magazines:

Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked women.

Women's magazines also feature pictures of naked women. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is hairy and lumpy and should not be seen in the light of day.

True, true XD

[Shirotaka]

I have more.

A man walks into a bar says "Ouch".

[Velvet D Coolette]

What do you get if you sit on a judge's lap?

An honourable discharge.

[Guest Zyx]

Hand in hand we walked through Nappieland,

All found a home,

All found a garden,

No one found a grocery store.

[RikuDrak]

The partner collaboration story was awesome XD Damn now I wish I could do tons of those.

[Guest Knorg]

"My girlfriend was so fat that the last time she was searched at an airport, the drugs squad arrested her for having ten pounds of crack in her knickers."

[DarkInuLord]

An elderly couple was in bed one night and the woman woke up from a bad dream. She was scared and panicking. Her husband awoke and turned the light on to calm her. He asked what was wrong.

She said: "I had a dream that I died and you got remarried." Then asked him: "If I died tomorrow would you get remarried?"

He said: "Sure, I don't want to spend the rest of my life lonely."

Then she asked: "well would you two live in this house?"

He replied: "Sure, we just got finished paying off our mortgage."

She asked again, angry now: "Well, would she sleep in this bed?"

He snickered and said: "yes, of course, this bed is brand new and expensive, there's no reason to rid of it."

She asked irately: "Well, would she use my golf clubs?"

He replied with a straight, serious face: "No. She's left handed."

[Guest Jaxxy]

An elderly couple was in bed one night and the woman woke up from a bad dream. She was scared and panicking. Her husband awoke and turned the light on to calm her. He asked what was wrong.

She said: "I had a dream that I died and you got remarried." Then asked him: "If I died tomorrow would you get remarried?"

He said: "Sure, I don't want to spend the rest of my life lonely."

Then she asked: "well would you two live in this house?"

He replied: "Sure, we just got finished paying off our mortgage."

She asked again, angry now: "Well, would she sleep in this bed?"

He snickered and said: "yes, of course, this bed is brand new and expensive, there's no reason to rid of it."

She asked irately: "Well, would she use my golf clubs?"

He replied with a straight, serious face: "No. She's left handed."

Oh... schnap... LOL, how awful! -<3s-

Okay, here's one that I heard on this album ages ago. I think it was by P.D.Q. Bach, the 21st of Bach's 20 children (fictional guy, made up by a funny-as-hell real guy). His stuff was all sung or played... he was like the Weird Al Yankovic of classical/non-current-ish music. Some of his things were Gregorian Chants, what a hoot... in fact, I'm nearly positive that this was one of those, infinitely long and, well, slow and Gregorian-y.

So this is my 17-years-after-hearing-it rewrite... cause damnit, this thread needs to be revived! ! ...but I don't think my wording will work with the whole Gregorian thing, or even sung. Mine's just bastardized. -pleased-

THE DOLPHIN JOKE

There was this guy, Jeffery, who worked at Miami SeaQuarium. He was grateful for the job because he'd fallen on hard times, and boy! was he ever not gonna mess this one up.

So there he was, one fateful day, just feeding the dolphins and minding his own business, when -- but who marched up? THE BOSS! Reeking of cigars, Jeffery noticed, as usual.

"Y-yessir..?" the young man stammered around a cough.

"Jeffery, take a look in that tank, and tell me what you see!"

"S-sir, they're..." Jeffery, leaning down closer to peer through the water's skin, only blushed.

"I want you to go down to the beach this instant,

Jeffery

-- and don't come back without a whole bag!" With this, Jeffery found his hands most impolitely jammed full with a -- an old pillowcase?

"...Sir?"

"Go to the beach, right now, and I want that thing back in my hands and overflowing with baby seagulls before lunch! We've got a whole mess of second-graders coming in by two, and if they see the dolphins doing

that

, we'll

all

be out of a job!" ranted The Boss, already turning on his heel to fume somewhere else.

"Seagulls... a whole bag..." Jeffery mused at his employer's back. His loitering didn't last too long -- the guy needed this job. Who knew what The Boss was on about, anyway? How would some baby birds stop the dolphins from... '

enjoying

' each other, as they were? Ah, no matter -- with a final check of his watch -- oh good, only quarter to nine -- he was off.

After hailing a cab he couldn't strictly afford, Jeffery climbed in the back, gave his directions, and settled in for his long-ish ride to the shore. He fidgeted; he bade the cabbie to change the radio station several times on their seemingly-eternal journey, being as anxious and confused as he was.

After a while of discovering just how much he and his companion's tastes in music did not gel, Jeffery irritably gave in and stared out the window. He left the driver alone and vegetated as News Radio droned on about some large and dangerous animal that'd supposedly escaped the Florida Zoo. Frankly, he was too burnt out -- at only nine o' clock, too! -- to care.

Soon enough, Jeffery, too poor to tip his underwhelmed escort, was left alone at the beach. So, his search began!

Discombobulated (and oddly jaded, considering the strange task before him), Jeffery entertained his mind as he set to "work". Oh, the unforgiving Florida sun. Why hadn't he -- OW, they

bite?!

-- stayed in Ohio? That was a good song... he hummed the tune as he did as The Boss said. He scooped the tiny, adorable birds, one by one, into the pillowcase, making sure they could breathe. He loved animals dearly; this is why, for as obtuse as The Boss could be, Jeffery

really

wanted to keep his job. Not to mention he needed it!

After an indeterminable time (but one happily terminating far before noon), Jeffery had filled his bag as full as he dared. The little peeps emitting from the pillowcase were heartbreaking, and if The Boss wanted more, he could come get them himself! There were only so many things our Jeffery would do for a paycheck.

Impressed with his resolve, he stood straight and peered around for a pay-phone, sliding his wallet out of his back pocket. Spying one, he started for it, flipping his wallet open -- only to stop short as he saw that he'd somehow managed to lose his last twenty sometime after he'd gotten to the beach! No doubt it'd fallen out as he'd stooped for a bird -- at leat the Atlantic

Ocean

was richer now!

With a colorful oath, he (most resourcefully) changed course and headed for a clump of trees thick enough to constitute a forest of Palms.

You see, Jeffery was no stranger to Miami, as much as he missed Toledo -- and so, he knew he had just enough time, if he walked as the seagull flew (hardee-har-har), to get back to the SeaQuarium before all heck broke loose. Gently hoisting his treasury of seabirds over his shoulder, and arming sweat from his forehead, he peeked at the horizon and headed east-northeast.

Such a long walk... who knew that the trees got so thick here, in the middle of downtown Miami..? Well, at least there was something that passed for a footpath. He went ahead and followed that, at a slow jog. That was, until he heard a curious rumbling.

He glanced up for a sign of a thunderstorm -- wouldn't that figure? -- and saw nothing. As his gaze again lowered to straight-ahead, he saw...

something

, up ahead. The rumbling, despite the blameless sky, intensified.

Jeffery slowed his pace to a tentative, quiet shuffle, squinting and pouring with sweat, until he identified it -- he saw the very thing he'd heard about on the radio when he'd hardly been listening! There, in all its glory, was the lion the broadcaster had announced as having gone missing... lying

completely

across Jeffery's path and licking his chops, albeit lazily.

Could Jeffery's day get any worse? he wondered. Then, he realized -- a slow, crafty smile spread across his face -- what a find!

As visions of trophies and medals and never-needing-to-work-agains danced in his head, he put on that special "charm" he had around animals. He crept forward, cooing softly to the lion. Bless the baby birds; they must've sensed the lion, too, for their peeps were replaced by a nervous silence (the poor dears!). All in all, Jeffery just had this

feeling

. Surely, it'd all work out, this crazy goose-chase of a day! Lord Above knew that Jeffery deserved it.

Much to his shock and joy, Jeffery's road block did little as he approached. Perhaps the hot sun had tired him? The lion only panted, tongue lolling and dripping with saliva, as he rolled upon his side. If Jeffery was careful enough, he could step right over the animal -- how he would be praised for his heroism (and wasn't the big kitty kind of sweet?)!

Holding his breath, Jeffery kept his pace and tone even... until, voila! -- he'd done it -- he'd stepped

right over

the lion! He peeked over his shoulder, checking to see that the great cat was still half-asleep, and grinned. Indeed he was, and now, all he had to do was haul butt and get back to the 'Quarium, deliver his freight, report his find, and he'd be good as g--

But our hero was arrested, long before he could get back to work -- before he could get ten feet further, in fact. Why?

(Highlight just below this line for his crime.)

Transporting Young Gulls across a State Lion for Immoral Porpoises...

...Why, oh why, oh why, oh... Why did I ever leave Ohio...?~

(Show Tunes FTW, and oh no, this wasn't part of the joke...eh, heh.)