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Laiko

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I'll give the forum a chance. I have no idea what I'm doing.

Human http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600102343

Loc survived the zombie apocalypse. Will he remain with Travis, who only wants to control him, or be forced to be a sex slave to Stark, a Carrier bent on controlling an entire city? Anal, rim, DP, HJ, M/M, nec, rape, Oral, WIP

The Twin Thrones http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600099532

Prince Kato will face marriage, pregnancy to unite the twin thrones and secure the future of a newly formed wormhole. Will Noberu be able to protect him? Anal, DP, HJ, M/M, Angst, B-mod, MPreg, Oral, SoloM, Spank, Violence, WIP

Fantasy & Science Fiction > Slash - Male/Male

Edited by Laiko
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I admit I'm neurotic. I one of those type of people who pick at things, no matter how much it hurts or bleeds.

I've decided to take The Prince For Peace down and do some rewriting. I never liked the title and there have been a few problems with this story. I've retitled it - "The Twin Thrones" and am rewriting it. I had one reviewer who called me on the unlikelihood of Kato jumping into bed with Shinko so easilly in one of the earlier chapters. I honestly didn't want to take the time to establish a more likely relationship. I don't want to write a book. I wanted to write a short story. I've resigned myself to the fact that is not going to happen. I've decided to clearly establish kato is not a virgin in chapter two but has had no gay experiences.

There were some inconsistencies and parts of chapters I never liked. I'm willing to "murder my darlings" to make a better product. I'll post chapters as I've edited them. Some material is new. Some of it is just gone. I'll pump out the the new chapter after I've gotten the new chapters up. I tried editing them without deleting part of it off aff.net and I just kept getting things confused. Sorry for any confusion it's created.

Edited by Laiko
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  • 2 weeks later...

I just finished editing chapter ten in The Twin Thrones and I've realized a few things: I am writing a soap, chapters are too long and I feel bad for not putting a new chapter up sooner. I really need to stop tinkering with things. I'm really sorry to those who are actually enjoying this story...um..book. I really am working on it daily.

I've had a few reviewers who have asked if I'm going to kill off the same characters. Yes. I am. I have considered writing a small chaptered short with an alternate ending just because. I will if there is enough interest. Might make a poll the closer we get to the end of this.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I freaking hate my computer sometimes. I uploaded the wrong chapter and it took forever to log back into the site to fix it. I finished editing chapter nineteen. There were some problems with it. Past reviews made me realize I needed to share a little more information with the reader. Chapters sixteen through eighteen were problematic with transitioning between the two characters and were confusing. It took a while but I think I got it right this time. This isn't a major rewrite. I don't think my story sucks that badly. I had some issues with it since last year and it's annoying. I had to give Noberu reasons for the choices he makes later and I didn't think he was invested enough.

Violetta Valery: Glad you still want to read this fic even if it made you sad. Happy endings are great but who is to say Kato won't find a happy ending, one better than he would had if chapter twenty-two hadn't happened?

shadow123: I was team Shinko, too, even if I wrote chapter 22 last September. I wanted him to be more than a playboy. I wanted him to redeem himself and I like drama.

Anon: There won't be a misery as you think. I don't do weddings or funerals. Life moves on, just like it does for the rest of us.

Maggie: Just finshed writing chapter twenty three, just editting. I really suck at it and don't have a lot of patience. You'll see it soon, hopefully. I'm kind of getting side tracked by an Inuyasha plot idea and chapter two of Human.

Lisa: I nuked this story. I didn't know how to edit without just deleting it. I almost deleted the entire story. I'm glad I didn't. I doubt I would have bothered to put it back up again. It takes along time to load stuff on this site. I would have emailed new chapters though. Thank you for your encouraging comments. I'm easily distracted and your encouraging comments remind me I haven't finshed this sucker.

Lilmissgg: Some chapters aren't different. I had some issues with transitional pieces, three plot points and a few details. I''m editting them. I changed one plot point in chapter twenty-four that I know is extremely soapy but screw it.

Jazz: It is a rewrite, not a full one though. It's been bugging me for a long time now. I'm really anal. If this is the first time you've seen this story, don't read other reviews: they tell you what's happening and that's cheating.

LilyEverLasting: Thank you for your comments.

Spicy Pepper: Thank you for you comments. I usually email anyone who leaves me their email with a review. If you don't want one, let me know. tlaiko@yahoo.com. Same thing does happen, but when one doorway closes another opens.

Edited by Laiko
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  • 2 weeks later...

I had a hard time with chapter 22. I don't care for funeral or weddings. I couldn't come up with anything that would add anything to the plot, so I opted to show a few scenes before and after Shinko's funeral and Kato's marriage. It was time for Kato to carry so why wait any longer? I struggled more with this chapter because I've been writing chapters 22 and 23 at the same time. I had trouble deciding on the sequence of events. I think I have them worked out now.

You know what I'd like to know if some of you are brave enough? Tell me what you don't like and why. I won't get mad. Promise. ;)

Comments/Answers to reviews:

Serria: Thank you for your comments. They are appreciated. I'm kind of anal.

SunaoTsuji: I admit it. I've had this on my hard drive for a while and I didn't want to actually think about how I wanted the sequence of events to play out. I got lazy. Your little pokes are appreciated. I'm easily distracted. I know I've said this before, but I really am ADD.

I think I've established Seshimora does not love Kato. He is not interested in same sex relationships. Like Kato, he will do what is expected of him. When I originally planned this story, this is where it originally ended it. I realized that the build up to Kato's pregnancy was slow and unsatisfying to the reader if I ended it here, so I won't

Lisa: Glad you're not turned off by the story. Before I started editing, your review after Shinko's death was pretty strong. I know chapter 21 was hard. I planned from the beginning to make Shinko my sacrificial lamb. I know most people wanted Shinko to survive. I wanted him to redeem himself. I think as Kato's preganacy progresses, you'll see that Kato can still find happiness. With Shinko's help, Seshimora recognizes that Kato already had what he needs to be happy (Noberu). Seshimora accepts the situation as it is and is willing to allow Kato and his (consort) lover since Kato will be fulfilling his duty by bearing children for him. It's an arrangement of sorts. The question is whether any intimacy can develop between Seshimora and Kato and if it does, will it change things.

Jdbbrz: Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I know that Conception was nothing like anyone expected. Like artificial insemination (which this was), it was meant to be cold and sterile and not terribly pleasant. The Radekoun practice of only having males as first-born (to inherit the throne) made this way of conception a necessity. That's one of the reasons I chose to show little snipets of Kato's life leading up to it. I purposely didn't show the funeral or wedding. They wouldn't have added much to the plot, but would have taken your interest where I didn't want it. What you wanted to see is in the next chapter.

Yoshi is being an ass and saying some pretty inappropriate things to and about Kato. He has from the beginning, but now with the reality that he's Kato's father-in-law it seems pretty gross, doesn't it? I wanted to mix his obnxious behavior with some real concern for Kato. He's not really acting that much different than the way Shinko acted. I find threesomes kind of weird, too. Hope you can stick around until it gets better. If not, I understand.

Edited by Laiko
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I'm glad that my pokes help. ^_^ Now that you mention it, Seshimora not loving Kato is great considering that writers usually go for the guy loving the other in a romantic way eventually. I can see Seshimora showing Kato platonic love in the sense that you are the bearer of my children. It'd be interesting just to read in a one-shot a time line of instances in Kato, Noberu and Seshimora's lives before they pass away and leave the throne to their children. O.o And of course, I'd like to know if Seshimora will choose to have a mistress where the two share romantic love, or was that not allowed in Kitsurin customs? LOL Time for a review. *runs off to re-read Twin Thrones*

SunaoTsuji: I admit it. I've had this on my hard drive for a while and I didn't want to actually think about how I wanted the sequence of events to play out. I got lazy. Your little pokes are appreciated. I'm easily distracted. I know I've said this before, but I really am ADD.

I think I've established Seshimora does not love Kato. He is not interested in same sex relationships. Like Kato, he will do what is expected of him. When I originally planned this story, this is where it originally ended it. I realized that the build up to Kato's pregnancy was slow and unsatisfying to the reader if I ended it here, so I won't

Edited by SunaoTsuji
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  • 1 year later...
Guest laiko

I don't remember my password to use my forum account, so I'll just post this as guest. A few of you might have noticed I deleted chapters 23, 24, 25 and 26 from Twin Thrones. I never got around to posting chapters 27 or 28. It felt complete at 22. I decided to go with my gut. I'm still trying to decide whether to continue this fic in a sequel. Kato deserves it, but I don't know if I have it in me to write.

I wanted to take this opportunity to thank several reviewers who consistently offered comments since I started TT in 2009. I was really devastated when authors were told by the AFF site to stop posting comments in stories and to start using the forum. I don’t like it. I don’t like using it, but I want to thank all of you who took the time to post a comment.

Lisa, thank you for your kind comments for my mother. I liked your emails after I killed Shinko. I thought you might start sending me hate mail. Your honesty was refreshing. I bet you’ve made a lot of people mad. Keep it up. No one likes a ‘yes’ man er…woman all the time.

lakuniko, You rarely wrote much, but I appreciated the fact that you wanted to say something. It’s nice to feel appreciated. Writing is hard. It actually sucks a lot.

SunaoTsuji, I don’t know if you ever noticed but your poking actually got me writing. Without you bugging the crap out of me, I wouldn’t have posted often. You disappeared at the end, that’s how I realized it was taking me too long to finish this fic. Writing is painful and a pain in the ass for me.

myrt,You were the only reviewer that I remember who actually got the spelling of every name right. That was nice. I do wish I would have given you that happy family you wanted them to have. My original ending would have disappointed you. This one? Not so much, I think.

jdbbrz, Of all of my reviewers, I think you had the most to say. I could tell you actually read everything instead of doing what most people do by skipping ahead. Some of your comments were hard to read because they actually revealed a lot about yourself, whether you intended to or not. I know you’re passionate, opinionated and maybe a little bi-polar. You can hate me now, I just had to get that out. Dark chocolate always makes me feel better.

Divanora, Have I mentioned that I really liked your story, Tribal Relations? Probably not, I suck at leaving reviews. Good plot and compelling characters make for a great story. I come off poorly so I rarely review. I’m abrasive and lack social skills.

And for all of you who joined me late in the writing of Twin Thrones. Thanks for reading.

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