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Lost Fic: James Lives, Lily Doesn't


Guest jaymalea

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Guest jaymalea

Dairygirl was searching for this story, and says that she read it here on AFF.net. I asked painless_j (on livejournal) if she'd do a themed list, and it hasn't come up there yet.

The original search indicated it was multi-chaptered, James survived the attack by Voldemort but Lily died. James blamed Harry for Lily's death and doesn't treat him right, in fact he abuses him. This is really bugging me, and I would greatly appreciate any help. If you find it, I will let the search originator know also.

Her search details were such: "I'm looking for a story I know I read on adult-fanfiction.org. It was not a comfortable story to read, but I want to find it again. It is an AU storyline where Lily dies, but James survives and blames Harry for her death. Not only is Harry treated poorly by his father, he is downright tormented. Sirius and Remus visit occasionally and when the two take Harry out of the house and treat him for his birthday, these moments are the only happy times Harry recalls growing up. Harry was quite the advanced student early on, studying texts and doing magic at a young age. I know he was through fourth year texts (if not higher) before the age of 10. I recall a scene on the train or just as Harry arrived at Hogwarts where Draco (or Neville?) asks him what house he wants to be sorted in. Harry shrugs and says "I don't care" while thinking regardless of the house he is put in, James will condemn him (ruining his mother's memory if he goes into Ravenclaw, sully Gryffindor if sorted like his father, Sirius and Remus, confirm he is evil if in Slytherin and some other negative comment about Hufflepuff). I think that Remus and maybe Sirius sensed the abuse, but never truly acted or did not think James capable of treating his son so poorly. I think Harry also had a conversation with the Sorting Hat, which expressed its sorrow and disappointment at Harry's treatment at the hands of his father. Harry ends up sorted into Slytherin, friends with Draco and Severus understands what may be happening with Harry's home life quite early on.

However, the story I'm attempting to find had three to five chapters of Harry's life as he grew up, not just flashbacks as in "Darker Shades". Snape was sympathetic, not merely tolerating Harry because of Draco and Draco did not have any special abilities as I recall. Right now I'm going through the entire AFF archive site (that portion without subcategories) to see if I can find it. Of course, the time frame I vaguely recall (maybe July to November) reading it with the last update did not seem to contain it so I'm just going for the entire archive. And I know I could easily skip it. One scene I did not post was James got Sirius drunk, had him turn into Padfoot and then assault Harry."

It is NOT Candidus, Darker Shades of Grey. It is not any of the fics that have turned up on painless_j's list on livejournal.

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