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Ever Worry About the 'Leech Effect'?


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I think anyone from the end of school age onwards is well aware of the widespread phenomenon of men liking the idea of lesbians getting it on. But personally, I've only ever experienced the opposite (girls/women being attracted to male gay sex) on the internet. One doesn't seem to hear it that way 'round in non-internet life.

What we tend to hear from the lesbian contingent regarding men wanting to see what they get up to is often expressed as a kind of tired exasperation. No, they don't want to get it together with your girlfriend, no they're not all skinny, hot bimbos and guess what? A lesbian relationship actually involves a complex set of human emotions, too. Just like het relationships. And they're right: men should deal with this, grow up and move on. It must be soul-destroying when people see you as doing what comes naturally for their titillation.

Now, finally to my point: if this is how boys and men treat lesbians, I wonder how accurately we're representing male gay sex here. I'm presupposing (and I suspect I'm right: someone tell me if I'm wrong, please) that most of the MXM writers here are female, and I realise many of us write it simply because we find it hot.

But do we offend any gay males who come here and read it?

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What we tend to hear from the lesbian contingent regarding men wanting to see what they get up to ... A lesbian relationship actually involves
Um...what does the relationship have to do with men watching them get it on?

Men enjoy seeing/reading about hot women having sex with hot women. Whether they're even really lesbians after the cameras stop or the narrator shuts up is immaterial, really, much less the nature of their relationship.

But in heterosexual porn made for males, the relationship, the reality, is immaterial. Porn men solve problems by sex, porn women offer sex, porn sex always works, every position is satisfying and no one slips in the tub and cracks their skull during sex.

And they're right: men should deal with this, grow up and move on.
Well, i try not to judge real people by the actions or motivations of those in smut. I also don't judge people by sitcom characters or literary characters or cartoons.

But i'm not going to lose interest in, or stop writing, F/F scenes that are divorced from reality but still excite.

It must be soul-destroying when people see you as doing what comes naturally for their titillation.
If the idiots have the power to destroy your soul, you're the one that needs to move on. I mean, if someone confuses real life and anything they see through a monitor or on their TV, they have the problems.
But do we offend any gay males who come here and read it?
Well, any time i read a story, fanfic or mainstream, set on a submarine, i find things wrong with it. Glaring points in the dialogue or the physical details or just freaking impossibilities in the story. But that's because i've been there, for real. They haven't. It doesn't destroy me or offend. I just figure they need to know more about what they're writing about.

Stories of sex written by obvious virgins don't offend. The guy who has his character dig deep down, mining the woman-hole, to find his partner's clit... Well, that offends me as a writer, as someone hasn't done the sligthest bit of research, but not as a heterosexual.

If you're writing your scenes in ways, with details, that make you hot, then i wouldn't worry if they're accurate to reality. Most porn isn't.

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Um...what does the relationship have to do with men watching them get it on?

Men enjoy seeing/reading about hot women having sex with hot women. Whether they're even really lesbians after the cameras stop or the narrator shuts up is immaterial, really, much less the nature of their relationship.

But in heterosexual porn made for males, the relationship, the reality, is immaterial. Porn men solve problems by sex, porn women offer sex, porn sex always works, every position is satisfying and no one slips in the tub and cracks their skull during sex.

What I'm talking about more is when you're just trying to get on with your life being a lesbian, men coming up with inane sayings like, 'I'm all for gay marriage if both chicks are hot' and the like is annoying. I'm not talking about porn per se, but men not wanting to see a distinction between porn and real life and bothering lesbians about it.

If the idiots have the power to destroy your soul, you're the one that needs to move on. I mean, if someone confuses real life and anything they see through a monitor or on their TV, they have the problems.

Perhaps. But maybe it depends on the amount of time said person has to put up with such misrepresentation. If it's often then it's going to get a bit much.

Well, any time i read a story, fanfic or mainstream, set on a submarine, i find things wrong with it. Glaring points in the dialogue or the physical details or just freaking impossibilities in the story. But that's because i've been there, for real. They haven't. It doesn't destroy me or offend. I just figure they need to know more about what they're writing about.

Fair play.

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  • 2 weeks later...
But do we offend any gay males who come here and read it?

I am so not offended. I'm thrilled that slash even exists, and it probably wouldn't without women. Sometimes I am amazed at what you ladies come up with, a lot of it is really hot. I might be a bit embarrassed that women know the "secrets" of what men do together, but I'll get over it.

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