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Help My Student Ask an Embarrassing Question!


Velvet D Coolette

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I'm writing a story where an 18 year old male student has been trying to bully his teachers, but is failing miserably on account of them being much more streetwise than they look. Having given up on the poshest one, he's now trying on the young-looking one (who is actually about 27ish). The scene so far is going like this:

The teacher has turned his back to the class to write something on the board and, while he's distracted so, our student has torn a quarter of a page from half-way down his notepad (so he doesn't have the incriminating square missing from the top), scrunched it up, and thrown it at teacher's back. The teacher looked around in surprise, looks down to see this ball of paper on the floor, suspects it's the very student it happens to be but can't prove it. So he picks up the paper, opens it, pretends it's got a question on it and proceeds to answer it, knowing that at least some of the students surrounding the culprit will know it was him.

My question to you all is, what should that question be?

I did think of, 'How do you cure premature ejaculation?', but if anyone can come up with a better one I'd be obliged. I can't really make reference to the student being a virgin because he's coupled up with a female student and they're sleeping together.

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I'm writing a story where an 18 year old male student has been trying to bully his teachers, but is failing miserably on account of them being much more streetwise than they look. Having given up on the poshest one, he's now trying on the young-looking one (who is actually about 27ish). The scene so far is going like this:

The teacher has turned his back to the class to write something on the board and, while he's distracted so, our student has torn a quarter of a page from half-way down his notepad (so he doesn't have the incriminating square missing from the top), scrunched it up, and thrown it at teacher's back. The teacher looked around in surprise, looks down to see this ball of paper on the floor, suspects it's the very student it happens to be but can't prove it. So he picks up the paper, opens it, pretends it's got a question on it and proceeds to answer it, knowing that at least some of the students surrounding the culprit will know it was him.

My question to you all is, what should that question be?

I did think of, 'How do you cure premature ejaculation?', but if anyone can come up with a better one I'd be obliged. I can't really make reference to the student being a virgin because he's coupled up with a female student and they're sleeping together.

"Help, lord, I'm having impure thoughts about my mother!"

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Would it be more interesting to leave as much as possible to the other students' imaginations?

"Well, whoever asked this question, it's perfectly normal to have those thoughts about Lunch Lady Gladys. Unless you're dating a girl, of course."

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Would it be more interesting to leave as much as possible to the other students' imaginations?

"Well, whoever asked this question, it's perfectly normal to have those thoughts about Lunch Lady Gladys. Unless you're dating a girl, of course."

Ooh, that's evil and I like it! Especially as there are timid students in the class and I suspect my teacher wouldn't like to humiliate them by making them sit through an unnecessary impromptu sex ed class.

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  • 1 month later...

Or, perhaps you could truly embarrass the kid (and make the girlfriend concerned for her own health) by saying something like, "I don't know what to do. I have this horrible discharge, and urinating is so painful." and have the teacher add, "Well, if that's the case, you probably have gonorrhea and should see your doctor, as well as inform any potential sexual partners that they might be infected as well."

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