Original Character for Tomb Raider too one-dimensional?

[MorbidFantasy]

Fandom: Tomb Raider

Name of character: Gordo

Race of character: White

Age of character: 30s-40s

Height of character:6ft

Weight of character: 350lbs

Brief background of character: Worked in the mansion of a underworld billionaire

Character's position or job: Worked in the security room monitoring the cameras in the mansion/complex

Strengths/Skills: Video Editing, has access to GPS tracking gear. Has considerable physical strength

Are these skills typical of the fandom? If not, why?:

Weaknesses/Bad habits: amoral, craves sex, braggart, dishonest and can't be relied upon to keep a promise.

Distinctive features, if any: Bald, seedy looking, facial features reminicent of a rat. Obese and greasy

Are these features unique in the fandom? If so, why?: The Tomb Raider series generally doesn't have many obese ingame models. The enemies are generally rather generic. The main villains are usually physically fit.

Connections to canon characters (if any): Lara is captured by this character when raiding the mansion of the billionaire. he coerces her into having sex with him in return for letting her go, but secretly videotapes her, planting a GPS device on her that allows him to find out where she lives and who she was. He uses this information to blackmail her into supporting him with money as well as giving him regular sexual favors.

How does your character get on with those around him/her?: selfish, doesn't like to share and only allows others as much freedom as it takes to get what he wants

What does the other characters think of your character when they met her/him?: they find him distasteful.

I don't actually have anything against fat people. Since I was technically doing a remake of an existing fiction I used the characters from that as guidelines. The goal was to create a a completely immoral character that came off as disgusting and depraved in description, and had enough skills and ambition to make life hell for the main heroine. I've gotten some positive feedback from my readers but I think I may be running the risk of taking the character to all the extremes of description (obese, uncouth, horny sexual deviant, destructive, amoral, liar, braggart) with absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Is this being one-dimensional? or is it okay?

Edited January 10, 2009 by MorbidFantasy

[Guest bitamin717]

I'm new around here, and fairly new to writing fan-fiction in general, but I've read the first nine parts of your FatMan Remake and think it's a great story--certainly an enormous improvement on the original, although that has its own charm too.

However, I do see your point about Gordo. He's repulsive, in every sense of the word: both physically and morally. And perhaps that makes him a little one dimensional. But it's also why I like him. He's so vile and greasy and seedy and, of course, fat, that his disgusting physical appearance contrasts nicely with your descriptions of Lara's tight, toned body. It's almost as if his obscene physical presence accentuates Lara's hotness in a lot of the sex scenes.

The same thing goes for his psychological characterisation. One of the things that turned me on about your story was the fact that Lara, a fairly iconic heroine, was being dominated/degraded/humiliated by someone who was so obviously unworthy of her. It's like Gordo's one of the minor characters Lara might encounter in an in-game cutscene; maybe she'd have a brief conversation with him to find out the location of some artefact or another, then she'd run off to continue her mission and we'd never see him again. But now he gets to capture her and put her through all kinds of awful shit. I don't know why, but I just find that very appealing.

Besides, if you made him all deep and three-dimensional he might have to start empathising with Lara, maybe getting compassionate and holding back; and I don't think any of your readers want to see that happening.

Keep on writing