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yblue

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  1. I absolutely understand. Writing, or any original creative work, is ‘kill your darlings’. I keep chewing on a concept, map outlines, write pieces of conversations before I even start the real work. And every chapter I keep cutting, mending, scratching, and rewriting until it’s right. So, I relate. I don’t understand how other people manage to write/update so fast, unless they have really nothing else to do… I’d be honoured if you read my story if you have time but don’t feel obliged if it turns out not to be your thing. It happened to me before that I decided to check on the work of one of my favourite reviewers, but then took a look at their warnings and found that I really really didn’t want to read it. (I mean warnings like ‘mpreg’ and such; the kind that makes me click away as fast as I can!) Ah and there was one thing I keep forgetting to say: I originally read your story because of the summary. My new story also starts with a guy waking up in another man’s bed and I wanted to make sure there weren’t too many similarities. I’d have hated to be accused of plagiarism. Thankfully however, aside from the first chapter featuring a bed, I'm happy to let you know my story is absolutely completely different.
  2. If you're waiting for my new story: The first chapter is finished, I just need a beta.

  3. To anyone waiting for a new story: I'm on it. Finally molding the first three chapters of IFV into shape.

  4. I like to think my English is fairly ok, but I do make some occasional mistakes, gramatically and spelling-wise. Most importantly however, as my story sets in the UK, in the London area. I would particularly like to find a beta who can help met with the slang, and regional expressions. I would like you to check whether my characters are credible, and if you like you can make some suggestions too. (about the dialect/slang, not the plot of course) The story will center about a M/M relationship between upper class gentleman in his thirties and a lower class young man of 23, but both have other sexual encounters along the way to each other. The story will also include one sequence of heterosexual sex, transsexual characters, incestuous tension between two brothers (enough to include the inc warning) I don't update very frequently, but when I do finish a chapter I would like to be sure you have the time to beta it within a few days, a week at maximum. If you are certain you are comfortable with all the above and willing to help me out a bit, please drop me a line. If you need more information first, don't hesitate to ask. Cheers, Yblue (also, knowledge of premier league football would be a bonus)
  5. Chapter 24 has been posted! Be prepared to get blown away! Unconditional Love Seriously though, it took me a lot to write this plot-heavy chapter. I had the outlines summarised a long time ago, but now, during the actual writing it turned out a bit different than I always had thought it would go. I'm content with it as it is now, however. (otherwise I wouldn't post it) I'm really curious on how the reactions are going to be. After all, this is probably the most important chapter of the whole story. That's how I feel about it anyway. Review replies for Chapter 23 @ eroburn: Good to have you back on board! You may want to sit down before reading this chapter (if you haven't already) @ lividfire: Sorry about the sharp poke then. Callum does act a lot tougher than he really is, because I like Tim too much to actually set him up with someone with cruel intent. And oh yes, Tim is thoroughly confused. About the smooching speculation I can't say much, but you'll find a partial answer in this chapter. @ Rosei: Tim got too confused to remember his own thoughts, otherwise he'd know he frequently contradicts himself. Tim is indeed overcoming a lot of things. I kept a lot of stuff to myself for a long time, but now I've started to reveal more and more of the underlying layers of the story. Through Matt in last chapter and through Brandon in this one. This means the conclusion might be drawing near *insert dramatic music* I hope the deadness on AFF is gone now the Olympics are done. Can't say I'm a fan, since I live in this puny country that hardly wins anything (Belgium) In spite of that, though, almost everyone I know was watching (and sobbing) :-s @ Mannah_Pierce: Yes, the distorted lenses are so much fun to write. I guess that's why I enjoy writing in first person. It keeps everyone wondering what is really going on. I'll do all I can to finish this story. I hope to get it done over a couple of weeks. I might be a little too optimistic here, but I'll try. @ Risika: Usually I don't really mind reader's threats but with you I'll be careful, since you actually know where I live... So, sure you can be in the Matt fanclub! You can be captain of the Matt fanclub, I don't mind. He's not going to be of much significance for the remainder of the story though. You can always write a spinoff :-P @: LTC: Thank you for hanging on for so long, it's nice to see familiar reviewer names come back after all this time. Tim is indeed on a learning course he can't escape. And Brandon's falling from his pedestal. Whether Tim will attempt to/succeed in capturing him is, of course, the big question. @ Narcoleptic: Thank you for reviewing! Thanks to his recent insights, I think it's safe to say Tim won't end up as a copy of Brandon. And I deliberately tried to make Callum likable, so I'm glad that worked. Friendly and nice Ryan will be back in the next chapter, I can't give you any hints about how that's going to work out though. @ Lisa: Matt is a likable guy and you're right with your assumptions about him. Callum didn't slip Tim anything. Considering his profession and intent with Tim, Callum was as nice as he could be. Tim was just his screwed up, confused self, indeed gravely misconceiving the phrase 'get a (fucking) life'. It's true that Tim was there first in the coffeebar (chapter 19) but he only sat there for the sake of Brandon worshipping. It's not like he regularly goes for coffee or something. When Brandon sat in that spot before, Tim often sat on the bench outside, watching him, and Brandon knew. So now he moved even closer into Brandon's personal space. The fact that he sat at Brandon's table, in his seat is therefore viewed as a threat. I hope that makes sense. And indeed, Ryan is too good to be used. He deserves a lot better than Tim too I suppose... @ Yllimilly: I'm revealing the levels, little by little. And yes, I am deliberately keeping you in the dark on how the story might end. With Ryan or Brandon. Or neither. (Or both! :-P) I would say: 'All will be revealed shortly' but I can't make that kind of promises just yet. We still have a couple of chapters to go before the end. So I'll go with “All will be revealed eventually.' @ loverofyaoi: Another familiar name returning! Glad to find you're still here! I honestly laughed out loud at your summary of what it took for Tim to get his epiphany. He's so messed up, and he's a creation of my brain, so that probably means I'm messed up too. He's working things out right now. As you can find out in this chapter.
  6. I've been browsing around to find an answer to my problem, but couldn't find it, so here goes: I've tried to update my bio a coulpe of times. (Pen name: yblue) At first it seems like it's been saved, but when I hit my pen name in the archive (any section where I have stories posted) I always see the old text again. When I go back to my control panel, the update is still there. It just looks like it's not visible from the archive. Hoping my English makes sense at all, I'd like to ask if this is this something you're aware of and can it be fixed? Thank you, Yblue
  7. I'm on a roll, people! I think this really is the first time ever I post a new chapter in less than 3 days. I believe my record stood at 5 days, back when I wrote 'Feed my hunger' in, I don't know, 2006 or something, and those were shorter chapters. So really, I feel like I finally made it back, determined to finish my unconditional love story. For those who haven't read it, this is the link to the summary and the complete story: Unconditional Love Now on to the review responses for Chapter 21: First I want to say: OMG! I really hadn't expected so many reviews whilst I'm still wiping the proverbial dust off my old fic. It feels so great the get all this feedback. You guys made my days, especially Rosei and Lisa for reviewing twice. You're awesome! @ Rosei: You really are fabulously awesome. I just know. Thanks for sticking around for all this time and thanks for your awesome reviews! I'm glad you made the comment on Brandon 'throwing himself on Cal's sword *snicker* When writing in first person it's hard to give any hints on the actual feelings or motivations for the other characters. I try to make it obvious that Tim often misjudges situations and conversation, just so you would indeed wonder what is really going on. So I applaud you for verbalising your thoughts on what truly happened between Tim, Brandon and Callum in chapter 21. Oh, and I loved the sword metaphor. :-) @ Raven: I don't know how long this sudden writing drive will last or how long I'll feel comfortable on AFF but I am pretty determined to finish 'Unconditional Love' in the coming weeks. The story arc is very close to it's total climax. I can't tell you how it ends, but I guess I can confirm Brandon's view on Tim is changing. I guess it's been in a fluctual state since chapter 4. @ Anon: Sorry for making you worried. I'm glad you've been patient ^^ @ carmen: Oh my Brandon! XD @uchihasasuke: I'm afraid giving a concrete response to your plea will kind of give away the whole story. But I can say I really love Cal too, I put quite some effort in creating him, considering he's only a character of minor importance. But then again I love most of my characters, including Brandon, though I do understand why a lot of people hate him. I'm sorry to tell you that I wasn't planning on using him after this chapter. @Lisa: Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the story. I really don't mind you reviewing older chapters. I just edited the complete story so it's nice to get some feedback, that way I'm certain I didn't leave too many plot holes or inconsistencies. You're right about most of my characters deserving a smack on the head. Maybe all of them, lol. @Anon: I'm glad you mistapped. And I plan on making your day a couple of times more soon. ^^
  8. Oh, hey someone actually replied! Cheers mate! I've grown to love this character. My muse is still fairly silent though.
  9. "Yea! Stop stalling! Get on with it! It's so fucking obvious they want each other it's not even credible anymore! You promised smut, now give me some!" I agree UST can be smoking hot, but after a while it gets so frustrating, and it 'll have to be a damn good story if you want me to hold on for 12 chapters. Plus, if you stretch it really long, the audience will have higher expectations so you better make it worth the long wait. If the characters finally get it on and you can't deliver because it's poorly written or too short it's probably going to be disappointing.
  10. Hey, thanks for the link. Awesome forum indeed, I just got approved
  11. Okay, I have to speak up here, because I’m highly allergic to overly feminized uke’s. I wouldn’t even want to see a girl act the way some boys do in yaoi fics, and to be honest I don’t really read real yaoi anymore. Most of what I write is original slash, and my guys are guys. They generally don’t have over exaggerating of slenderness or specifically long lashes etc. Advice I can give you: try not to feminize your uke’s too much. Simply make them act / look more like actual males. Even when they look a bit frail and big eyed they can have some boyish features as well. Don’t make them cry every five minutes, not even in an angsty drama fic. Give them a believable personality and pimp the little masculinity you allow them to have. Does your uke really need to be weak in every possible way? Give him one or a few stronger qualities, make him put up a fight or give some witty comment before allowing the seme to rid him of his innocence. Make your uke take the initiative at some point and don’t make them say ‘I love you’ right away after being used as a cum dump by some random stranger. Another point I’d like to make: why always make the seme/uke or top/bottom distinction? A lot of the better fics I read had versatile or switching characters. How do I deal with other people’s writing? Personally I stay away from fan fiction. I read and evaluate summaries. I avoid Mpreg like a blistering pest. I stop reading stories that trigger a turn off and make a note of the author so I can avoid them in the future. Now, on to the rape topic. I am not disturbed by the fact that people describe rape in their stories, because it’s fiction. Some people like darkness, drama and angst, and some don’t. If it doesn’t float your boat then don’t read it, I’ve never stumbled upon fics involving rape where the author didn’t properly warn their audience. (as opposed to other ‘themes’ I happen to greatly dislike) That said, I don’t think this ‘turning a straight man gay’ by raping him would work in a decent story. If that is your whole plot your fic will most likely suck ass. I completely agree with you saying changing a person’s sexual nature by force is impossible, (Except maybe after months of rape and torture, because then you can play the Stockholm syndrome card) and the raped man will become a greater homophobe than before and either plot to kill the rapist, have some sort of revenge and/or enter serious therapy. As for easing non-gay characters into homoerotic situations I completely agree with Marley and Supersonic; it’s not that hard to imagine and it opens a lot of possibilities. Like you yourself pointed out; non-gay doesn’t necessarily mean ‘defined strictly hetero sexual’. A certain situation may awaken something in a character he didn’t know was there. Awkwardness and tension between characters who are unsure of what they want, or try to deny rationally what they are feeling can offer material for good fiction. I don't mind chatarters initially being 'forced' into something they soon start to enjoy.
  12. I still can't believe you'd try to continue reading after THAT! You must have a stomach of steel. You have got to borrow me some of that Industrial Strength Brain Bleach, I sure could use it right about now! And I'm a skirt, just like the rest of you. According to some people I have a man's brain (apparently meaning I'm shallow and sex obsessed) but I got all the other female parts at the factory. And no regrets, I know how to use 'em! I do know a few guys who write slash, but it's true they're pretty rare. I like their stories, they're generaly to the point and I'm safe from screaming fangirl bullshit.
  13. yblue

    Gross yet Hot

    I got over the shame of being completely perverted. I have my preferences, but depending on the mood I'm in I'll read just about anything; rape, violence, incest, tentacles, water sports just bring it on, I don't care if there are minors in it. Okay, I probably won't read necro and I have a very strong aversion toward Mpreg (which I find so horribly repulsive it really makes me sick, it's like, my kryptonite) I like watching visual porn; straight, gay, regular, kinky, but I would draw the line at any of the subjects named above. Hentai is an exception again, but I guess that's because it's made visually prettier and most of all: it's not real. Why am I so perverted? Well, I guess I get frustrated… A LOT. My life is like an eternal episode of temptation island, I sometimes flirt with male and female co workers and clients and my best friend is the hottest guy I know and we talk about sex and porn all the time, but I'm so dedicated to being 'pure of body' being a health freak and fateful to my man that I just have to keep it all wrapped up in my sick mind. I think reading and writing offers an excellent way to sublimate inappropriate desires. I don't think it's abnormal to fantasize about extreme things that are intolerable in real society. If you believe in Freud's theories you might say it's all sublimation; translating unacceptable desires or frustrations, you just don't have to take it too literally.
  14. I sort of made a rule for myself that I can't have more than 2 stories on WIP. I can't post anything else until one of them is finished. What I usually do when a new idea hits me, I write it down. I start writing the new story... and then often another idea pops into my head and I start working on that too. Sometimes I take notes for 4 stories in one day. I have a file named 'scribbles' for all my screaming plotbunnies and 90% of them will never see the light of day, especialy the ideas for longer stories. But at least I had fun seeing them develope in my head. I think my mind goes way faster than I can write a story. When my thoughts are into it I practically live and breathe the story I'm working on, so when I can finally sit down and write, I'm a dozen chapters ahead, and I don't feel like writing the earlier events anymore. I'm just not able to get into the mood for the piece that I should be writing anymore. So generally I write the future part down to use it when the time comes (and if the story didn't change course along the way) And then I read the entire story again, until I get to the point where I left off, hopefully back on track. If not? Or if work or school or anything came up, I just start over. Reading your own stories again also helps to filter out inconsistencies etc, so it's not always a waste of time.
  15. This is a new character for my original slash story 'Unconditional love'. In chapter 20 a new guy showed up. I always make a profile page for every character in every story. I generally don't feel the need to make it public, but since I'm a little stuck now, I'm hoping other people's comments will get me back on track again. I don't think this character will be very important in the story. My main character just has an encounter with him. I plan on using him in one or two chapters, unless my muse suddenly prods me to go in a different direction. Name of character: Callum (Last name unknown) Race of character: Human Caucasian Age of character: 31 Height of character: about 1m89, or 6'2" Weight of character: +/-95kg Brief background of character: Callum is the youngest of three. His parents fought for as long as he knew and divorced when he was 14. He got in trouble at school a lot for vandalism and violent behaviour. He chased skirts in his teenage years but never cared much for relationships, seeing it turned out pretty bad for his parents and siblings. The awareness of his sexual orientation came kind of slowly, and he spent about two years in the doubt zone before he came out at age 22. Most of his relatives and friends were not supportive, and he decided to move to another city. At age 28 Callum met the only person he ever really fell in love with. Steven was a 21 year old rich boy fallen from his family's favour being an irresponsible drug and alcohol addicted party animal. The relationship ended after almost two years when Steven left. Callum has no idea where he is right now, and he tells himself he doesn't care. Character's position or job: He used to have an underpaid job as a mover/repairman, but got laid off three years ago for skipping work too often. Officially he works for himself now, but actually he found a better way to makes money, selling XTC pills in and near the clubs. He has a dependable supplier he met through Steven. Strengths/Skills: Callum has a decent sense of humour as long as he has no reason to take it personally. He doesn't give up easily when there's something he wants. There's usually not much that he particularly wants however, so he just goes where life takes him. Weaknesses/Bad habits: When something or someone makes him angry he 'll easily resort to violence and pick a fight, which got him a reputation as a trouble maker. (not that his reputation was any good being a drug dealer) He's banned from membership in most private clubs. Distinctive features: He has short hair and neatly trimmed sideburns reaching to his jaw bone. Wide apart eyes and cheekbones. He's broad shouldered and physically strong. Piercings: Two rings in his right ear, a stone in his left. One piercing in his tongue. Tattoos: On his right arm he has a Maori tribal tattoo, shoulder to elbow. On the inside of his right wrist he has the Celtic symbol of a trefot. On the inside of his left lower arm there is a sword, elbow to wrist, with a ribbon woven around it saying: 'Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.' On the left side of his chest he has a Celtic raven on a pattern of Celtic knots. On his back (and neck) he has a very large tattoo of an arch angel with a sword, coming down flying through the clouds. It's wingspan is as broad as his shoulder blades, the sun above is drawn in his neck. Behind his left ear he has Steven's initials: "S.L." hidden under his hair. How does your character get on with those around him?: Callum is a lone wolf, but he has a few friends and many loyal customers. He has several 'enemies' as well and he often gets kicked out of clubs and bars, if he even got in in the first place. In sexual relations he's usually a top, and very dominant. He regularly takes a guy home to play. What do the other characters think of your character?: (I'll try to do this without spoilers) Tim (main character) seems to feel strongly drawn to him. Callum is so different from everyone he knows in his small protected world it makes him both curious and anxious. Brandon (antagonist) dislikes him. So, thoughts anyone? Did I give sufficient descriptions? Does he seem realistic? I don't think he's a marty stu, but an anti stu perhaps...? Is there anything I could add that may be useful? Any thoughts or comments are welcome.
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