curi

We all know that our beloved AFF is host to an ugly amount of, erm, less-than-quality fic. Here are a few tips on making sure that what you've written isn't adding to the rubbish. (There are a lot of references to the Harry Potter and Firefly fandoms. Hopefully readers less familiar with those areas won't be too confused by their presence.) The Curi Guide To Responsible Authorship, or Good!Fic, Bad!Fic, Smut!Fic, Crack!Fic The Conscientious Author Shall: 1. Suppress the urge to place the Author's notes in the text. If the Author absolutely must justify Harry's sexual relationships with Dobby and Winky to the audience, notes are acceptable before or after the story text.* 2. Never hold updates hostage to reviews. Authors who need validation should adopt puppies, kittens or ferrets. Or rats. Voldemort had a rat-man. And a snake-soul. Even Dark Lords need validation.** 3. Ensure correct word choice whenever possible. "Conspicuous" and "inconspicuous" are antonyms, not synonyms. "Definitely" and "defiantly" are adverbs and share both prefix and suffix, but not meaning. "Congenial" and "congenital" rarely belong in the same thought, let alone the same sentence. Homonyms are very rarely synonyms, and as such should be approached with caution and respect.*** 4. Utilize spell-check without expecting it to fix each of the Author's mistakes. Proper names, especially in fandom, are rarely part of spell-check's repertoire; the same goes for foreign words. It is wise to double-check spell-check's changes so that "Hermione" doesn't become "Hormone." On the other hand, Shepherd Book is a fucking Shepherd. Like Jesus. From The Holy Bible.**** Not a Sheperd, Shepard, Sheppard, or, you know, Shepurd. Additionally, savvy Authors know that Lucius looks luscious, but refrain from addressing him as such, given that Lucius' distant cousin, Luscious Malfoy, was disinherited for his fascination with Muggle queendom.***** 5. Never attempt to excuse the Author's own laziness. The Author will not draw attention to the Author's failure to research or invent a proper locking charm—or ignorance of the Pinyin for a given Mandarin phrase (nor instruct the reader to imagine that the phrase which appears in English has been presented in Mandarin). To do so reveals to the audience the Author's lack of commitment to follow through.****** 6. Never write, "Sorry for mistakes, English isn't my first language," as to do so holds the Author's work up to inspection by everyone for whom English is a first (or second or otherwise intimately familiar) language. The audience will immediately note the comma splice, and every time a character's dialogue is awkward the readers will think, "Well, here you can see that the Author doesn't know English very well." Language is a tool for communication and should not stand in the way of a good story. For this reason, when writing in a language other than the Author's own, it is best practice to have the work assessed by someone who knows the language very well, ideally a native speaker.******* 7. Remember that British English is markedly different from American English. Having a piece Brit-picked (or Ameri-picked) where appropriate is a brilliant idea. There are very few situations in which Kid Rock!Harry is appropriate. Such instances usually reference the term "crack!fic." Bonus points for Draco's performance of "Bawitdaba." 8. Abstain from requesting that reviewers correct the Author's grammar, punctuation and spelling. People who read fic are interested in the ideas and the entertainment, not extra work. Reviewers who do highlight the odd typo or comma splice are trying to be helpful, not offensive. The person who takes the time to politely point out that "vile" is not the same as "vial" and that "pubic" and "public" are generally mutually exclusive sees the potential in the piece and wants to see it presented at its best. The Author shall endeavor to understand and appreciate concrit, unless the Author has explicitly requested that reviewers not share criticisms. 9. Find and form a meaningful dialogue with the magical creature known as the Beta. The Author shall accept and utilize the special skills the Beta has been known to share in a relationship with a chosen Author.******** The Author shall determine in which areas the Author desires and requires assistance (regarding ideas, issues of canon and characterization; grammar, spelling and punctuation; or any combination of the aforementioned) and locate an appropriate partner (or partners). Even the best work can benefit from the attention of a second critical opinion—and usually has. Many Authors are good friends with their Betas. An unproductive Author/Beta relationship is best acknowledged and discontinued in favor of forging a more harmonious partnership elsewhere. 10. Present to the audience a finished piece. The Author will take steps to ensure that completed writing is presented to its best advantage and adheres to posting guidelines where applicable. The Author will post confidently rather than timidly and will never use the following phrase or any variations thereof in a summary: "This is my first fic and I think it's crap." Very few people willingly take the time to read something they have been told is poo. The Author will not beg reviewers to be kind nor warn against flames; flamers are rude people and do not merit attention. +++ * The Author is in no way required to defend the Author's choice of ship or plot outside the confines of the story. Fiction is fictional and writing non-con and other potentially controversial content does not make the Author misogynistic, sadistic, chauvinistic, or a threat to society. Or to House-Elf Well-being. ** Curi does not endorse the use of coercion or Crucio to secure affection or reviews. It's just bad form. *** Though JKR seems to have had trouble with this concept, an "apparition" is a ghost or other visual thingum. Has nothing to do with magical beings in transit. Promise. **** The Holy Bible (Spirit of God, A Bunch of Drugged Israelite Prophets, Saul Called Paul, John the Revelator, et al.) is sponsored by The Gideons and can be found at a hotel or motel near you. The thoughts and opinions shared therein are those of the Authors and Scribes contracted (or possessed) by God The Father, Christ His Son, And/Or The Holy Spirit, Three In One, Three In One, and do not represent Curi, Curiosity Kitten or Curi's Livejournal. Curi does not condone attacks on any of the following: homosexuals, sexually active teens, or doctors who perform abortions. Curi reserves the right to flee citing the Bill of Rights should anyone attempt to make her pray at a public school. She did quite enough praying, voluntarily, at private Christian school. ***** Curi does not endorse Malfoy bigotry. She does endorse Malfoy bigamy, provided Severus and Hermione are present. ****** Additionally, excessive specificity can damage a story's flow. If that locking charm isn't a crucial plot point, it's enough to say that "Hermione waved her wand at the door, locking it with a charm." ******* Really. Imagine if Simon tried out his Russian phrase to stop River's crazy in The Maidenhead only to discover that he'd really said, "Please tickle my horse's balls." Mal would be dead and the message would have been lost in translation. And not in a Japanese hotel room. Plus there'd be a confused horse. Not convincing? Imagine that Neville is creating a volatile potion (far, far away from Severus) that needs a special spell. He confuses Latin conjugation with Greek sentence structure during the incantation. Result: Neville with elephant ears and the reproductive organs of a female mouse. ******** The Beta/Author relationship is unique to each agreement. While some Betas and Authors exhibit Veela-like tendencies at the thought of sharing their partners, not all relationships are monogamous. +++ Curi On Curi I've suffered through violations of each of the above guidelines, which are meant to be helpful, somewhat humorous, and not fascist, though I like rules, so there's that. There are exceptions to each of my ten rules, and I know that. I also know that a lot of people aren't as fond of structure as I am. That's cool. I'm aware that AFF is neither the best nor the worst archive in fandom and that bad!fic can be found anywhere. Or almost anywhere. Not only that, but these guidelines aren't Torah. They're not even as comprehensive as the Ten Commandos Commandments (without Charlton Heston, please). But for newbies and youngsters, the unspoken niceties aren't always clear. So I spoke them. Feel free to spoke your own niceties and to pimp!cane o'Lucius de Malfoi the list if you want.

http://hp.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600016715 http://hp.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600016718 http://hp.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600016703 Eww.

http://hp.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600016584

I've been trying to tell them in reviews to searches; I've also been watching the reviews and there are some people who don't like the ban on searches in the archives. They have valid concerns about exposure and response time, and I have some questions to ask over in the "suggestions" section (or just in conversation with DemonGoddess061) about how to make that better (in AFF 2.0) so that those concerns can be met. I think the best thing that we can do, as non-mods and non-admins, is to show that there are AFF members who aren't representing the admins but who understand and support moving the searches to the forums. In a very respectful and friendly way. Better to deescalate the conflict before the users have a chance to revolt, yeah?

Trolls Story ID 9303 44432 9752 49313 10759 55630 10979 56583 Unhealthy Exchanges 7097 http://buffy.adult-fanfiction.org/review.ph...ead&no=7097 9515 http://buffy.adult-fanfiction.org/review.ph...ead&no=9515 Duplicate Reviews 9654 72730 & 72731

Stories With Unique Challenges (and maybe less unique challenges, too.) 6565 (Wordord: 1–30, Squished: 15, Authorless Chapter: 19) Special queries, observations, or instructions: Chapter 13 - First occurance of this line "eling of . . . rightness about it. He'd heal; he wouldn't even have a scar -- and it would help William heal. So, that was that." is a glitch.<--fixed author glitch, repaired through chapter 23 11579 (Wordord: 1–8) Special queries, observations, or instructions: Chapter 8 - author's email address should be "willowtaralove," as in the previous chapters 4056 (Wordord: 3–6, 8, 10, 12–14, 16) Special queries, observations, or instructions: Fic has a suspiciously high number of votes 8992 (Wordord: 1–2, Squished: 1–2) Special queries, observations, or instructions: Much of this story appears to have been lost. It's kind of horrific, like looking at a roadkilled bird. (I don't really like birds. They're just leftover dinosaurs with tiny brains. And they never shut up.) 9256 (Wordord: 1–10) Special queries, observations, or instructions: The chapters are disordered. Chapter 4 is in the place of chapter 8, and chapters 5-8 are in slots 4-7. Fun, huh?<---fixed 9752 Special queries, observations, or instructions: This might be a troll. It's fucking awful. I can't imagine anyone posting this seriously.<---nah, just a bad!fic 6633 (Wordord: story) Special queries, observations, or instructions: Title should be "Death Sealed" 9260 (Wordord: 1–6) Special queries, observations, or instructions: Title should be "Give It Me Good, Buffy"<---fixed 10383 (Wordord: 1–3) Special queries, observations, or instructions: Title should be "What If?" Stories With Squishes or Stretches and Wordord) 4376 (Wordord: 1–2, Squished: 2) 10033 (Wordord: 1–12, Squished: 5) 9363 (Wordord: sum; 2-10, Squished: 1–10) 10632 (Wordord: 1–5, 8–11, 13, Squished: 1–14) 11741 (Wordord: 2, 5–6, 8–11, 14–23 , Squished: 1–25) ^---fixed, through chapter 3 last story above 1867 (Wordord: story, Squished: story) 7097 (Wordord: 1, 3, 7–8, Stretched: 7,9) One-shots or Single-Chapter WIPs with Wordord) 9291 8850 9024 and summary ^---fixed 9081 9142 9189 9213 9265 9302 9303 9409 9413 9724 9754 9767 9815 9928 10199 10331 10395 10415 10467 10710 and summary 10734 10882 and summary 10940 10979 11504 11663 11728 11294 (summary only) Multi-chaptered Fics with Wordord 5430 1–11 ^---fixed 10022 1–11 11665 1–12 5619 1–13 ^--fixed 9623 1–13 5097 1–2 10316 1–2 5505 1–22 ^-fixed through page 3 10274 1–23 9211 1–3 10376 1–3 and summary 10380 1–3 10517 1–3 9133 1–4 ^---fixed 9468 1–4 9515 1–4 and summary 9580 1–4 9889 1–4 9856 1–5 10348 1–6 10381 1–8, 10–26 9654 1–9 10562 2–3, 5–7 4660 3–8

What joy! What bliss! Ambiguous categorizations and... stuff-ness. (I swear, I'm good at free verse. Really. But rhyme is better for parody.) AU 9815 Dawn/Connor 10383 Spike(William)/Xander 8992 Various 9291 Crossover 10033 BtVS/AtS 10562 BtVS/AtS 4376 BtVS/Charmed Femslash 1867 Buffy/Dawn 4056 Buffy/Faith 11497 Buffy/Faith 11504 Buffy/Faith 10759 Buffy/Kennedy 9413 Dawn/Tara 1862 Dawn/Willow 11579 Tara/Willow 11663 Tara/Willow 11665 Tara/Willow Het 9081 Angelus/Buffy 10734 Angelus/Buffy 11294 Angelus/Buffy 10274 Buffy/Giles 10348 Buffy/Giles 10381 Buffy/Giles 10467 Buffy/Giles 10517 Buffy/Giles 10710 Buffy/Giles 4660 Buffy/Spike 5430 Buffy/Spike 5505 Buffy/Spike 8850 Buffy/Spike 9024 Buffy/Spike 9211 Buffy/Spike 9260 Buffy/Spike 9363 Buffy/Spike 9623 Buffy/Spike 9654 Buffy/Spike 9752 Buffy/Spike 9856 Buffy/Spike 9889 Buffy/Spike 9928 Buffy/Spike 10022 Buffy/Spike 10376 Buffy/Spike 10380 Buffy/Spike 10632 Buffy/Spike 10940 Buffy/Spike 10979 Buffy/Spike 11741 Buffy/Spike 5097 Buffy/Xander 9133 Buffy/Xander 9142 Drusilla/Spike(William) 10395 Glory/Jonathan 10882 Spike/Willow 7097 Slash 10331 Angelus/Spike 11597 Giles/Oz 9213 Giles/Spike 9302 Graham/Xander 9580 Rupert Giles/Ethan Rayne 9409 Spike/Wesley 5619 Spike/Xander 6565 Spike/Xander 6633 Spike/Xander 9189 Spike/Xander 9256 Spike/Xander 9265 Spike/Xander 9303 Spike/Xander 9724 Spike/Xander 10316 Spike/Xander 11728 Spike/Xander 9767 Xander/Oz Threesome+ 10199 Angelus/Spike/Xander 9515 Buffy/Faith/Willow 10415 Xander/Slayers Non-BtVS ID - 9754 LotR > Crossover > LotR/BtVS (This one needs to have wordord removed before it is moved.)

Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my darling Harry Potter fanfiction—specifically Draco and Hermione— You are full of stupid shit like this new searching-for (...ione). http://hp.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600016515 Sorry my song sucked. At least it rhymed. I wonder if I could harness my creative energies and write a really bad story where Hermione is browsing the AFF archives and enjoying all the stories until she stumbles upon a "searching for" request and blows up. Accidental magic 'n' that. It would be a creative way to teach the rules, the way people do with preschoolers and kindergarteners. No?

http://hp.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600016504

Crossover 4516 Anita Blake/Buffy 1420 BtVS/AtS 1659 BtVS/AtS 4377 Buffy/Profiler Femslash 4231 4103 Buffy/Faith 4154 Buffy/Faith 4173 Buffy/Faith 4175 Buffy/Faith 4176 Buffy/Faith 4177 Buffy/Faith 4180 Buffy/Faith 4253 Buffy/Faith 4583 Buffy/Faith 4904 Buffy/Faith 4941 Buffy/Faith 4195 Faith/Kennedy 3530 Tara/Willow 3531 Tara/Willow Het 4006 Angel/Buffy 4007 Angel/Buffy 4008 Angel/Buffy 4009 Angel/Buffy 4010 Angel/Buffy 4011 Angel/Buffy 4012 Angel/Buffy 4341 Angel/Buffy 4374 Angel/Buffy 4454 Angel/Buffy 4622 Angel/Buffy 2457 Angelus/Buffy 4375 Angelus/Buffy 2520 Buffy/Spike 3026 Buffy/Spike 3194 Buffy/Spike 3329 Buffy/Spike 3704 Buffy/Spike 3708 Buffy/Spike 4048 Buffy/Spike 4406 Buffy/Spike 4584 Buffy/Spike 4804 Buffy/Spike 4805 Buffy/Spike 4806 Buffy/Spike 4808 Buffy/Spike 4909 Buffy/Spike 4464 Buffy/Wesley 5096 Buffy/Xander 4979 Faith/Wesley 4138 Faith/Xander 4407 Giles/Willow 4013 Willow/Xander Slash 4906 Angelus/Giles 3534 Oz/Riley 3250 Spike/Xander 3648 Spike/Xander 3802 Spike/Xander 3820 Spike/Xander 3893 Spike/Xander 4037 Spike/Xander 4426 Spike/Xander 4442 Spike/Xander 4637 Spike/Xander 4693 Spike/Xander 4910 Spike/Xander 5086 Spike/Xander Threesome+ 2056 Angel/Buffy/Spike 3873 Angel/Buffy/Spike 4136 Anya/Buffy/Willow/Xander 3925 Buffy/Dawn/Faith/Willow 4158 Buffy/Faith/Xander 5029 Buffy/Faith/Xander 4894 Buffy/Willow/Xander 1489 Drusilla/Spike/Willow

3194 summary pimps other website 4583 chapter 1–15 squished 4426 chapter 4 squished 5096 one-shot stretched 3329 chapter 12 stretched chapter 5 is a duplicate of chapter 4 1490 chapter 5 (2x reptition of select lines) authorless chapter: 11 4806 authorless chapter: 2 4622 authorless chapter: 3 2457 authorless chapter: 3 4442 authorless chapter: 4 1659 authorless chapter: 10 1420 authorless chapter: 4, 6

Are you ready for this? I saw FairyNiamh's consolidation, and thought I'd try it. Though, to be fair, I've a ton more glitches than she does. 4231 chapter 1 4516 chapter 2 3194 chapter 1–2 1420 chapter 1–21 1490 chapter 1–3, 6–7, 13–14, 16, 18–20 ^---done 3329 chapter 1–4, 6–21 4622 chapter 1–5 2457 chapter 1–6 4806 chapter 1–6 1659 chapter 1–6, 8–14 4426 chapter 1–7 1489 chapter 1–7, 9–16 ^---done 4804 chapter 1–9 4442 chapter 1–9/chapter 4 title should be "That Night", chapter 9 title should be "Our Willow" ^---done 4583 chapter 2–15 2520 summary 4805 summary 3873 summary/chapter 1–7 One-Shots with Wordorditis 5096 4176 4180 4195 4253 4341 4374 4375 4406 4407 4454 4637 4693 4808 4894 4904 4906 4910 4941 4979 5029 5086 If you'd like, I can do this in another format. I just kind of suspected no one wanted to see several pages of single entries... I've also got all of this information saved into my Excel file, so I can include it, if you'd like. If not, I think I'll remove most of the data that doesn't fit into the template you provided.

StoryID: 3194 ReviewID: 4923

StoryID: 1420 Review id # 12328 & #12329 - duplicate

Err, no. The story id is 4136. That's the review id. Grandma always says, "Haste makes waste." *facepalm*