JayDee

@CloverReef  Tuna salad’s certainly among the palatable lunch choices for me, though given a choice, I’d prefer PB&J.     More seriously, good M/F scenes in a M/M story can be used to make a point.  I do that in Dale’s Game to show the social conventions, of how “normal people” ought to be, that the characters resort to using M/F to appear “normal” to the outside world to show the social pressure that’s there (and the effects of the gay discrimination in play)..

Also, I think AFF’s taken that first step in AFF-world-domination, it’s a way better “social media” than other platforms.   Especially as I rarely self-censor like I do in those other places.

@Desiderius Price I agree. M/F scenes can absolutely be useful and effective tools in M/M stories. 

I even manage to dabble in a bit of F/F, small drop, in a heavy bucket of M/M action. 

Didn’t realize you did that.  Though I supposed a spurious [nosex] tag mixed into the lot would raise some suspicion.   More practically, a wall of tags can be intimidating to potential readers, so there’s no real incentive to overtag (this was part of the impetus for me to adopt my current approach, helping the reader figure out which tags are the very important ones to pay attention to, ie, my stories tend to feature a lot of [exhib] and minor1/2).  

* My autocorrect wanted to make that “1/2” into ½.  I don’t know if I want to know the meaning to [minor½]

If Minor½ were a tag, I’d probably have used it by now. (I’m sure at least some readers would agree that in utero sex deserves its own trigger tag.)

Could be twins in the womb… I mean, do we really know what twins are up to in there?   Especially the evil one?

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Maybe the reason I’m convinced there’s no nasty people on the forum is that I am the nasty person.

No you’re not.  I’ve given you a lot of opportunities to make jokes at my expense or insult me, and you haven’t done so.  As for accidental awkwardness, I do that all the time.

Speaking of which…

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I’ll also say that the majority by far of the “Oh, gods, delete my account now, man!” emails I got were from readers only, not writers.

I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to annoy you, BronxWench.  I was just trying to make a guess based on my own personal experience.  As it happens, I’m honestly not even sure why you’d need an account just for reading (unless you’re really dedicated to reviewing stories that don’t allow anonymous reviews).  Again, sorry if I bothered you.

You can tell if you’ve really upset BronxWench around the time a Banshee begins shrieking on your roof.

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I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to annoy you, BronxWench.  I was just trying to make a guess based on my own personal experience.  As it happens, I’m honestly not even sure why you’d need an account just for reading (unless you’re really dedicated to reviewing stories that don’t allow anonymous reviews).  Again, sorry if I bothered you.

I’m not upset at you at all! Sorry if it seemed that way, but it was one of those things last year that was endlessly frustrating. In the scheme of things, it wasn’t a big deal although we had a few people who wanted to make it more than it was. Quite frankly, I was a LOT more worried about the big players—Equifax, banks, phone companies—because those guys DO have data on me. AFF is not in possession of any information that will lead back to me without some effort, and even then, I’m not all that worried about people knowing where I play and read. I’m too damned old to care what they think about me.  

Sorry to hear about that, friend. You have my sympathies.

Just here to say what everyone else is.  I’m sorry for your loss, and if talking will help, I can always listen.

Thanks all, I really do appreciate it. Sorry I’ve not managed read/review catch up yet.

I think D/A must have been a trigger tag of some sort, which has since been renamed, as looking through google it’s on a lot of rougher stories. Can’t recall what it meant though. Other amusing things was the way the code moved “Tent” out of “Tenth” to leave my summary on a LOTR fic referring to a “h walker” – there’s a few others still with that in the domain and no tentacle content! – and also how it moved “Rape” out of “Raped” on just one story leaving it describing a character as “d and violated” which kinda still makes sense with modern internet slang around “Giving the D”. Overall though, still by far the better/only option than trying to do the stories manually.

Scripts can be… interesting in their side-effects.

JayDee: Still better than scriptfics!

Scriptfic author: Ayyyy! Why you gotta bust my balls?

JayDee: There was a CBT request.

JayDee stops typing way before the 10 lines of story on forum limit just to be on the safe side.

You already wrote a pity sequel! Although, admittedly, the pity wasn’t for me.

And sound choice to give it a miss. I don’t mind if I don’t get reviews on that one, it is probably for the best. The few people that piece of shit might appeal to probably want a minimal digital footprint.

Sometimes @JayDee I’m like 80% sure you’re a supervillain.

I’m more like a ventriloquist’s dummy or maybe a puppet on strings. Sometimes the muse that picks me up to write is a funny, decent hearted, happy story lovin’ goofball. The other times it’s a cold blooded Lamia that hates life and beauty and just about everything in the world, ‘bout the only thing they like is a challenge. Oh, and for some reason, insisting on sharing the stories to AFF when the sensible thing would be to encase the USB stick containing the latest crime against literature & good taste in concrete, sail it out to The Mariana Trench, and throw it overboard.

What if you decided to go with “Ken cloned himself twice so he could have a threesome with himself”? 

I see the next week’s prompts are “reviled, repulsive, revolting” so I guess that one’s gonna be an autobiography for me…

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What if you decided to go with “Ken cloned himself twice so he could have a threesome with himself”?

Seems a tad narcissistic, doesn’t it?

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I see the next week’s prompts are “reviled, repulsive, revolting” so I guess that one’s gonna be an autobiography for me…

Honestly, though, those prompts are perfect for just about anything horror-related.

Yep! So time to write a flashfic set at a gamer convention.

Be interesting to see what they do, but I suspect they probably won’t be too bothered, I mean check this out –

Original garbage, really bad even in context, complete tell with zero show ffs just awful: “Although she’d never so much as blown a human before, Hermione excelled in oral pleasure.”

New and improved, showing the world the majesty of Bed Boyfriend: “Jennifer excelled in oral pleasure as she'd blown bed boyfriend multiple times.”

I want Bed Boyfriend in my life!

So, who was Hermione blowing before she tried human?  Dobby?

Kreacher. Dobby had a sock…

Oh gods, no, don’t expect anything worthwhile. Positive anticipation of any sort is not recommended. This is the kind of story people bag up steaming from the path on a cold morning after doggo has done its business.

Do you think this has any chance of earning you the coveted “You Sick Fuck” award the way A Big Girl’s Bad End did?

Probably not even an honorable mention. People (PETA aside) don’t seem to get as upset about the beast stories I do as the violent ones. Readers even seemed to find my Narnia story “The Horse and his Cock” funny. Though some of that was probably down to the badger and her insatiable lust for horsecock.

...yeah, ok, I just “You Sick Fuck”d myself.

To be fair, The sooner AI is introduced to smut. The far likelier said AI goes from kill all organics to. Too hopelessly addicted to smut to be a serious threat.

So in a roundabout way you are saving the world from a Terminator future. To a future where robots just want to bang everyone in sight forever.

Robots can bang each other and save time!

Of course, robots could probably also actually finish my current bloody re-write. And make a start on that demon-lust infused Call the Midwife story I keep having ideas for (working title ‘Ball the Midwife). blargle. Turg.

Nah, I think Orville was first although I haven’t got around to seeing that yet, heard it was pretty good tho! Of course, Red Dwarf had canon Mpreg back in the 1980s in terms of sci fi TV and there’s even earlier.

Skin stre… Lady Cassandra? Hey, not to blow my own trumpet but I wrote Lady Cassandra porn on this very site. Oh. Guess I did blow it

Of course you did. 

And yes, you need to see The Orville. A lady gets it on with Slimer. I mean, pretty much.

I don’t have any streaming services, so tend to wait for cheap second hand DVDs for anything that hasn’t been on normal TV in my country. I will definitely try and see it tho’

So I felt kind of stupid when I realized that “Pre-Raphaelite” did not mean “painted before Raphael’s work” (which is why I was pointing to that Athenian vase) but instead referred to the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood...a bunch of guys who started painting in the late 1800s.  Oops.

Unfortunately, Hylas and the Nymphs kind of monopolizes the Google results whenever I attempt to find paintings of nymphs from those guys.  Amusingly, though, Waterhouse did paint one of your muses!

Get it?  ’Cause it’s called Lamia and you...have a...shutting up now.

I used to know someone who had a print of that one on their wall! And, yeah, the more famous paintings were coloring all my search results too, which was why I thought I’d take a shot and see if anyone knew specifically. I think I’ll probably just refer to the style given they did so many classical themes (as well as Arthurian cycle and shakespeare and the like).

Lamia was always an interestingly tragic story.

One thing there is, is time!

I second Thundercloud’s suggestion of writing the middle of the story. That’s usually my process: I write the scene that I have best figured out first, regardless of where in the story it happens. The other stuff comes eventually.

It sounds like an option! If I can get the motor ticking over again I’ll maybe give it a try. Thanks guys!

“Billy-Bob was so proud a signin’ that there legislation he bragged all about it to the pretty blonde thing chattin’ him at the country club. Only, she weren’t human, not no how, and next day he done woke up pregnant. Well, shit, Billy-Bob if you’re fixin’ to get one of them abortions yore shit outa luck.”

[/Banjo outro]

Although it has to be said, “Gertie rises from the dead and the only thing that will sate her hunger is Alabama fetuses” would be a hell of a story, in the brief period before I was taken out and shot.

I’d read the hell out of that. 

So would I (even though I’m ridiculously behind in my reading...)

All I know is my family tree on my mother’s side starts in a river and on my father’s side starts out in the flatlands where outsiders rarely travel.

*banjos play softly in the distance.*

...is WAY older than JayDee…  

I’m pretty sure I have shoes that are older than most gods.

The Great Mystery of the Self-Lubricating Anus. Does often appear in stories in when Men are Impregnated and Ass Babies are delivered with all due ceremony. Like that one I never got around to writing where Gabriel was distracted by a demon on his way to give his message, got extremely drunk talking about old pre-fall times, and ended up giving his message to Joseph instead. I mean, definite proof of a miracle there.

I’m assuming its part wish fulfillment cause lube needs to enter the equation at some point.

Never mind the equation, it needs to enter the asshole!

I agree that just writing the archetypes makes for poor characterization, but personally I think you’ve done a good enough job, at least when it comes to Kizzy, Shannon and the gang, that they exist as more than just the archetypes.  Heck, while the Hecate Sisters are the best fit (Shannon is the Maiden, Kizzy is the Mother and Lupa is the Crone) Kate doesn’t even have an archetype she lines up with.

“This is Shannon. She’s our maiden.”

“Just ignore Kate and Lupa. They’ll be rolling around laughing for the next 10 minutes or so.”

Hey, I’ve been writing the underserved Loli archetype since before it was cool.

Health and a wealth of happiness, dear fiction friend!

Happy new year, JayDee!

And to you… happy new year all!

Buckets of the stuff. A thirst that cannot be slaked, but sometimes she slumbers. Fingers crossed she nods off so I can finish this without a forensic biologist getting his sternum tugged out.

Congrats! 

As for the xiphoid, you could have written a story about CPR. Just sayin’.

Fuck, that’s a good thought. Thank you! Might just have to use it for the non-bloody ending!

HOW D’YA LIKE THEM APPLES, LAMIA MUSE?

Okay, just hear me out. Just in case of anything unexpected going down.

If you see the styx. Take a left and there should be a delightful beachouse. The password is “My soul belongs to Invidiared” If you see someone in a boat asking for payment you’ve  gone a tad too far. Also avoid the pomegranate pie

I adore you all… just saying!

The dogs are easily distracted by fetch, but only only you throw the stick directly at them. Only way to get them all involved.

Heck if I know. I may be corrupted but I was never a champion.

Is it weird for me to think “that’s a very JayDee thing to write”?

Weird? Yes. Accurate? Also yes. 

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

congratulations! I’m so glad you’ve written something big. (about something big? Wayhey!)

Thanks! I guess it’s big for me, tiny for others – but, hey, if I can get it polished and sorted it’ll be alright I think.

Thank you for the offer! I won’t risk the wrath of SWP1 by delaying you from your own work though :p

I’m sure I’ll get back into it at some point. I have done in the past!

Considering the news about the woman charged with murder after getting shot in the belly it is clear your Pregnant in Alabama was not scary enough compared to reality…

Actually I think you should worry less about lack of progress now and instead feel proud about the remarkable many good stories you have finished so far this year. You have delivered lots of quality stuff and it is given that you cannot keep that pace forever. Keep looking for inspiration and things will start to fit together again.

I would love chatting about story ideas if it helps your story muse going again, but it will probably need to be a bit later. Currently the family is packing for the two week trip and I will have limited internet and less private space than normal for a while.

Oh, man, that poor woman. She has all the horror of losing her baby and getting over that, and then they arrest her. Some real animals walking around calling themselves lawmakers out there.

I have the ideas, I know what I want to do, I just can’t seem to get it written down. But thanks, I guess I did do some good stuff this year, maybe it’s not so bad having another break!

I hope that trip goes well for the family there – I’m off on a bit of one myself for a few days the week after next and will be short of internet connection too!

Try telling that to Anne Rice!

Anne Rice has no room to complain. When you start earning royalties on the fanfiction then you’ve made it.  

That is a high compliment to have a good writer adapt your work! Funny how it took 10 years to see it, though. Mysterious. 

To be fair, 10 years is probably a reasonable time to take to get over being exposed to one of my less socially acceptable stories.

Only for long enough to write that status and this reply! Hoping to be back more after Christmas though.

Aw.  Well, cursed internet!  More time to write?

I might manage to finally write Meaningful Gifts this year, so you might have smut from me before the year ends.  Fingers crossed, everyone.