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JayDee

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Everything posted by JayDee

  1. Third review! Thanks yet again Eh, I got no self-esteem whatsoever and actively fucking despise myself but am too weak-minded and lazy to change so… ...oops. Ok. Starting tomorrow. That, or they’re both convinced the other one is cheating because of inhuman reactions on multiplayer games :p Lupa used to be a good Catholic girl. Then the vampires came. Now, she’s friends with an angel and a demon and smart enough to realise their takes are true, but likes to claim atheism. Sometimes just to see if she can get a reaction out of Kizzy, who wouldn’t let it bother her – Kiz would side with a decent and kind atheist over an asshole religious person! Haha! With the sweater I’ve gone with the horror “nothing is scarier” trope – whatever a reader imagines Mike is seeing on the sweater is probably accurate and probably more effective than I could have shown. Shannon gets on with everyone RMR might or might not be a real person, or just someone Shannon made up to make a point. I was just referencing the older internet meme of telling furries to “Yiff in Hell” which was on a sliding scale of seriously meant to goofing around. I guess if they’re furry in their very soul it’s the fursona. Imagine, you’re a demon, you’re good at your job, but you’re just not effective against the guy who likes all the stuff you’re doing to them. On the other hand – @InBrightestDay – theological implications of furries who make deals with succubi and end up in Hell? Any thoughts? I hear in Australia they’d drop the ‘for’. Shannon’s had worse unforseen circumstances –She did end up in Hell :p Thanks a final time! You and the others have been very kind to my scrappy effort
  2. Second review! Thanks again, appreciation continues! No problem, just happy to get feedback! I’ve been trying to get into the habit of writing my reviews in Word and then pasting them to AFF which gets around the review-eating issue (it happened on a long-ass one I wrote once and I swore a bunch) … Nice. Also, you’re welcome! Thanks! I’ve got kind of a soft spot for that one, too. Mostly the idea of the Demon Huntress Hunter game… But also Lupa and Mike’s relationship I think got a good start. I stuck in extra detail to try and round it off as a stand-alone. Having it be Mike’s first visit to the house really helped with that as it could be used to have him note details or thoughts on stuff. There’s a reference in there to his first meeting with Shannon which is a story I’ve got half-finished and had Lupa really panicked and insecure about him meeting her succubus housemate and hiding. That’s it! So, as I’ve got it worked out in my head – when they were all at school together ‘undercover’ Kizzy was living with Shondra and Jackie who thought she was 17 and basically fostered her, Kate was living out of a trailer with Katie, the more traditional werewolf who very drunkenly bit her when she was a wolf, and was trying to socialise her properly with humans, and Lupa was squatting and not let the others know where she actually lived (used her vampire mesmerism to get around shit with officials). Shannon had the big house though some sort of infernal financial business, and supposedly lived with her Mom, (ie, Shannon herself changing her appearance), so when they all found out what was what and got out of school, it made sense for them to move to Shannon’s. Kizzy wouldn’t care about the decorations or house number – as long as sex is consensual she’s not prudish about what adults do to with each other, Kate can get pretty horny herself with some animal and human instincts competing, and Lupa rolls her eyes at most of Shannon’s antics but is happy to share with friends in a place with magically warded windows that let her sit in a sunbeam and not burn. Haha, yeah, you worry if Lupa thought it through, Mike worried if Lupa thought it through and Shannon worried if Lupa thought it through. Everyone worried! They got her insecurities in mind – Shannon has no problems with threesomes and open relationships as long as feelings don’t get hurt, but she could no doubt see Lupa lying awake, remembering her boyfriend in her mouth, and deciding she didn’t care for it after all. Hence Shannon not splashing her succubus lust around and even wearing a thick sweater over her upper body -but she’s good at people and figured how Mike would go anyway. Thanks for the heads up! I’ll look at it when I try for a proper polish. Might just need the Shaz nickname at the start of the question. I think at one point they were probably all talking and someone messing around said something like “If Kizzy is Kiz, then Kate is Kaz, Shannon is Shaz and Lupa is… Luz?” and Shaz stuck as a nickname. While Luz definitely didn’t Because it’d make Shannon sad, at least until she heard about the outcome of The Woman in the Statue, and maybe even then for a time. Thanks again! I did want to do more sex there, but simply found myself running out of time and the worry that if I tried to do too much I wouldn’t finish it. I think I pitched it right with them planning to game then screw some more. As for Kate’s situation… Started with a blink-and-miss it telephone conversation between Kizzy and Shannon in Fucking Halloween Party where Kizzy said she’d asked Kate to go to a house to see what they think is a demon summoner to try and talk with them. My story You! takes place in that house, starting with the summoned demon’s appearance and shows what happened to Kate next. That Shades and a Snake’s Heart story I did at the last halloween was set a while after You! and had the lingering impact of the trap’s magic on Kate after she got out of the house. You’ve read both the halloween stories already, so if you did want to check out You! for more of What Kate Did the good news is it was written entirely as flashfic chapters of less than 1000 words, and there’s only 5 of them so the whole thing is shorter than a single part of most normal length stories The story I was trying to write for Christmas was going to tell the story of Kate’s human side being brought back into balance, and explain what happened directly after You! but, among other things, I was finding it too hard to make it self contained in few enough words, because it relied too much on the end of You!
  3. Three reviews for The Succubus’ Gift! Thank you for the reviews folks, I hugely appreciated the feedback here. Thanks for your time! ...maybe they’re toon boots, hiding out in the story to avoid Judge Doom and his vat of… nah, I got nothing. I’ll fix that up so it’s Mike feeling underdressed in his unfancy footwear! I’m planning to take a look at it again in a couple of weeks and polish off any other glaring bits that stick out and fix ‘em. Problem really that I found my original idea just wasn’t working out so I had to start again from scratch! I’m really glad it works as self-contained– that was something I really wanted to achieve after last year’s holiday special! And got the fun in too, yay! Haha! Probably a Rake Street too, for folks to progress along. No doubt the town planning department was infiltrated by someone with a filthy sense of humour at some time in the past… the machinations of Hell go deeper than we ever realised! I like to think it is still less filthy than some of the real world efforts. She’d enjoy your Reindeer stories, so it might even be fan art Ah, yeah, definitely not an entirely original concept of the odd folk house share in these universe stories. I think even as a kid watching Munsters re-runs I wondered how a Frankenstein’s monster and a vampire had a werewolf kid. Just doing me own thing with it I liked the idea of Shannon’s “Turns out Naruto’s really popular!” and they got a lot of non-virgin members too I wrote a Naruto story, something like 14K hits and 4 reviews which Google tells me one AshuraAnderson on hentai-foundry linked with this description “ Pure crack. Hinata/Sasuke feat. Naruto. Technically cuckolding, technically NTR, anal...but Naruto gets turned into a big black cock. Somehow manages to be hot and hilarious at the same time.” which I’ll take as a positive! Vampires aren’t known for their gag reflex either! I did think about having her claim she didn’t want to make a mess of her dress (which would be not entirely true), but it ruined the timing of her realisation of the pendant’s secondary feature. And you know what works for blasting presents up an ass? The Holiday Cannon ™ Available from all good meta-fictional sex toy stores and probably also Amazon.jp I included that final paragraph both to play off Lupa’s assumption (dramatic wossname) and also to pay off the earlier mentions of Kate being imprisoned. I’m glad it worked! Thanks again, I’m even gladder you wrote the Reindeer continuation!
  4. There’s no need to apologise – yes, some disappointment but totally tempered by the Halloween story to come! It’s not just cold comfort for us! Plus, even if you hadn’t said you’d hopefully do one, a few of us were trying hard to get something done anyway so no hassle on that. I hope you’d get a chance to read and review anyway, some good stories this year! Elfs with plenty o’ posterior padding! Mind control! Neurotoxins! It’s all there!
  5. You’d mentioned being busy so I figured what the hey!
  6. Not at all! I enjoy your sex scenes, I’ve pointed out the ones I especially liked in reviews! It’s mine – got that whole flatpack catalogue feel of “insert tab A into slot B” or “rub tab B against other tab B” as with that one bookcase. Vast majority of positive thoughts on my sex scenes were because the readers enjoyed the particular kink or fetish and were so happy to have it they put aside the mechanical writing. That’s what folks like to avoid tho – they want some emotional connection, some description and detail and a certain amount of mess. Generally. Some don’t like mess. I forget where I was going.
  7. The best advice I ever got was “Keep track of the hands,” If someone’s got one hand up to the elbow in their buddy’s fudge factory, you can’t have them also gripping both hips at the same time. Unless they’re a shokan or something.
  8. I’m no Thundercloud – anyway, most reviewers said my sex scenes “Were like whacking off over an ikea instruction booklet” while Steve the Ikea instruction booklet fetishist said “Needs more Å”
  9. If you wait ‘til the holiday 2021 thread goes up you can be sure you haven’t missed any stragglers Technically, someone could join in June otherwise. Or 9th August for the Islamic/Arabic New Year (I hear 1443 is gonna be a good one!)
  10. Apologies in advance for the inevitable disappointment.
  11. Solution! You two could collaborate on a story. With half-ass plus whole-ass the story would have a massive one and a half-ass sex scene. That’s a lot of junk in the trunk.
  12. Been a bit busy but just noticed you folks got part 6 up! I’ll re-read and review tomorrow :). Not like I’m going out partying after all.
  13. The Succubus’ Gift A short story of Mike, his girlfriend Lupa, and a Christmas Eve visit. ChallengeFic MF Oneshot Oral Loaded! Please let me know any typos, grammar errrors, and the like!
  14. “We tried to hide behind the mountains. The horse came over it.” Whoohoo! I hope to read it tomorrow! Managed a 3000 word first draft here of the flashfic idea I had the other day. Kinda went over the flashfic part. Choppy as hell, lacking tons of detail, but basically ok. Gives me time to try and get it turned into a non-confusing thing with enough detail to be worth reading by the 31st! Fingers crossed!
  15. Original stories only But I’m playing it on PC not console so it’s been feeling not too bad. Sure, some glitches but so far nothing worse than Skyrim still has today.
  16. Update: I came up with a flashfic I could do, planned it out and came up with some great lines in my head. Then I played Cyberpunk 2077 for eight hours. Um. Whoops.
  17. I was gonna leave a review praising the stark minimalism of the blank chapter and explaining that while it wasn’t my easiest masturbation session I grit my teeth and managed it.
  18. Don’t burn yourself out! Take it nice and slow, enjoy Christmas and I am sure MG will be as worth the wait as MS was. As for me, my flashfics both floundered so unless I can come up with something else and get it done I’m gonna have to miss, but with two great stories so far and several on the way it’ll still be a solid party!
  19. “Where do you authors get your ideas from?” “The dishwasher” “Dear god!” Whoohooo! Ah s’alright, it was a good long story! I was just being greedy Totally understand, although I guess I do like scatalogical humour too! No probs! Thanks for review replying!
  20. I ain’t much good at beta’ing. Sir! Sir! My werewolf ate my story sir. Then threw it up. Then ate it again.
  21. They’re reading it through, they’re checking it twice, having mis-understood the title as an instruction :p
  22. They don’t ask for much of us with these holiday stories, but they do ask for Oneshots. If I contribute a story without realising it makes no sense as a oneshot then I’ve failed miserably. A harder hearted story host would have deleted it and banned me from doing any more. I made a lot more effort getting the Halloween one to stand alone, and if I manage to get my current Christmas attempt finished it hopefully will too. I’m mostly just hoping to get enjoying everyone else’s out of this one!
  23. Ah! “Holiday Non-Canon” begins!
  24. Yay! Again Yay! If you wanted to delete the standalone copy and re-post it in the compliation thread I can repost my review no bother!
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