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Shinju

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Posts posted by Shinju

  1. I would love to know how best to balance the two sides of my readership on this subject. After receiving messages in my email from both sides, I do ponder the virtue of taking down my stories because of this specific subject matter.

    It would be sad to have to remove your work because of harrassment from reviewers. I think that you should write in the style you feel most comfortable with and ignore the more picky weeaboos, probably of which a majority of do not know proper Japanese anyway.

    I know I give Japanese pop stars / anime voice actors a break when they speak English just because I'd rather find the bright side of the matter (ie: its endearing that they try) rather than be annoyed that what they are saying sometimes sounds downright silly and under practiced to my American born ears. Our languges are very different and mastering one from the other can be very difficult.

    I will say this though, I'd rather not sound silly to a Japanese person by slaughtering their language at every oppertunity with frivolity rather than practicing, learning and thinking about what I want to say before I say it. I think that people generally absorb culture through osmosis, meaning they don't think, they just do, or on this case speak or write.

  2. I wonder if sane Japanese people feel the same way when they hear garbled English in every other one of their pop songs . . .

    I think it's cute to an extent, but I find it ruins the mood of whatever I'm listening to because I tend to break out in "OhMyGodItsSoCute" hystarical fangirl lauguhter depending on how bad the English is.

    I wonder how people from Japan feel about us so hamhandedly trying to assimilate their language as they have done so to ours? Do think its cute or do they hate it?

    OmG, I challenge anyone here to write a Hetalia fanfiction where America and Japan have an argument about this

  3. Here it goes, borrowed from The Sound of Music:

    Bishonin in poses while semes look smitten

    Big uke eyes and fanfictions written

    Twinks in their bedroom all tied up with string

    These are a few of my favorite things

    Long haired bishonen and R18 doodles

    Watching hard yaoi and knowing that it rules

    Wild all male orgies and hot guys with wings

    These are a few of my favorite things

    Bishis in leather and tsundre with glasses

    X-ratd doujun and men with nice asses

    All of their hotness makes me want to sing

    These are a few of my favorite things

    When my life bites

    When my pride stings

    When I'm feeling mad

    I simply remember my favorite things

    And then I don't feel so bad

    ****I felt inspired so I wrote ths and posted it elsewhere. Thought ypu guys might like it too.****

    When I posted this in that other place I accidentally pluralized one of the bishonin . . . now I feel silly.

  4. As the mother of an autistic son, I'm put in mind of the Bruno Bettelheim theory that autism was caused by cold and undemonstrative parenting, which he termed "refrigerator mothering." It always struck me as utterly repugnant how the entire onus was placed squarely on the mother, when in my case, it is largely my husband who distances himself from our son.

    Bettelheim's revolting theories have been largely discredited by, unsurprisingly, real science.

    I think that’s just the type of hooky gender biased science that Shadowknight has been talking about. Kind of gross, I can’t believe people actually took him seriously.

    You sound like a strong mother, I really admire that. Every child is a blessing, but I can only imagine what you have to go through, raising an autistic son.

    You're being influenced by science in more ways than you think. Science gets thrown in as a justification for every assertion made, the problem is that usually it gets prefaced by "studies have shown..." or "experts say..." and people modulate their behaviour accordingly. If you consume any form of mass media at all, you've been exposed to this effect. And even if you haven't, the people you've interacted with have, or have interacted with those who have. The reason it's so pervasive and difficult to spot is precisely because it supports the ways "things have always been."

    Actually, I feel that it is more mass media’s fault than science. It’s the tv, movies, commercials and books that have the characters that reinforce gender roles starting at a young age. Gender roles and gender identity start when a child is very young, too young to understand scientific studies.

    However, one can't change what one isn't aware of. Awareness is key. And what's worse, one must never confuse awareness with acceptance, which is precisely what happens when you get told "women are like this and men are like that." It's all bullshit, if you'll pardon my French, but that's exactly what they want you to think.

    Pardoned! Actually, I really felt the way you did, that men and women are essentially the same, up until a few years ago. What changed my mind was hearing the story of David Reimer (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Reimer). In a nutshell, when he was a baby there was a freak circumcision accident and they ended up removing his penis. They took him to see psychologist John Money, who believed that gender identity was a learned behavior and not inborn. He recommended sexual reassignment surgery and the doctors removed his testes and his parents raised him as a girl. I remember in the news report I saw, David talked about how when he was a “little girl” he wanted to play with his brother’s toys but was given only girl toys and made to wear dresses even though he didn’t feel like a girl. He described himself during that time as very unhappy.

    I believe this is the report I watched:

    Aaaaaand there we go. That's exactly it. That is the type of thinking they want you to have. They want you to believe in predetermination, that the way you are (and the way everyone around you is) is set and cannot be changed, so that you don't upset the status quo.

    They?

    People can remake themselves at will, it just takes substantial effort and self-awareness. Oh, and a willingness to accept the ugly truths in ourselves, of course.

    That’s exactly what I’m doing, accepting some of the ugly truths about myself and women in general and trying to change. If I find myself overwrought with girl feelings, I find it helpful to take a deep breath, remind myself that it’s natural and normal and tell myself I’m not going to fall prey to chick emotions. But I’m not going to go to the closet and burn all my skirts just so I can fit into an anti-stereotype, I can accept my differences from men and be okay with them.

    I wish more men would do things like that, accepting stereotypes about themselves when they are true and trying to change. We still live, whether or not we like it, in a male dominated society. Can you imagine if one day almost every man in the world woke up and said, “Oh, my God. I fit into a gender stereotype in certain respects in my life and it isn’t good for society, I should try to change.”

    No, that's what they want you to think. They want you to think that "it's just the way things are" so that you don't fight it or try to change it. Stereotypes are the tool of the patriarchy, and some people choose to constantly and unwaveringly reject them, rather than accept them with resignation.

    From what you write it seems to me like you stereotype men, but refuse to stereotype women on the grounds that it would make women seem weak. “Men want to remain in power,” and references to what they want us to think and say, etc. I think those are all stereotypes. I mean, I do agree with many of the generalizations you make, in general terms of course. But I think it’s kind of like trying to prevent murder with the death penalty.

    A needy man is going to be chastised by his peers because it's bad for him and because it might raise the idea that other men might be like that as well, and that's bad for them.

    An excellent point, I think you just gave me a better understanding on what I didn’t understand before.

    Yeah, "men don't behaving the way they're written" falls under "can't measure up to them", sorry if I was unclear.

    My point is what is written isn’t based on reality. It’s impossible to measure up to something that isn’t based on reality. So if a woman expects a man to behave like a man in her romance novels, she is really being unfair. It would be like saying you or I can’t measure up to the characters in a porno or an erotic novel written by men.

    Ugh, don't get me talking about the way female characters are depicted in the media. Another tool of conditioning, particularly when aimed at children and teenagers.

    Errg! I know! It pisses me off to no end. We should start a thread on writing stronger female characters. People need to be enlightened about this matter.

    That study is highly questionable, mainly because it suffers from clear gender bias.

    I actually showed this article to my mom and so therefore revisited it with a more curious eye. I’m not sure whether I agree or disagree with you, but I looked it up and a majority of the scientists on that team, including one of the two leaders, were women. If it is gender biased I think that’s really scary.

  5. I do not ever, on principal of the matter, give glowing reviews to stories that suck. I can be tactful and cryptic, and give points that could be improved upon without telling someone their story sucks however.

    I care a lot about perfect grammar; for some reason, I have developed a slightly English writing style, opposed to our common American style of writing.

    I actually find that concept very intriguing, as I love English Literature. Could you elaberate?

  6. Thank you, that's a great example of the point I was making earlier. That is exactly what "bought" science does. It perpetuates false assumptions in order to maintain the sociological status quo that benefits a sector of the population. Science has this "dogma" about itself, the way it cannot be questioned by anyone who's not a scientist (and has been indoctrinated by the previous generation), much in the way religion is. And I know this from experience, I'm a scientist.

    That’s actually the first scientific article I read in a while. I form my opinions more on what I see and experience in real life. I’ve dated both men and women and I have dated enough to know where the stereotypes come from and that, unfortunately some of them are true. I’m sorry, but I’m just being honest about my real life experiences.

    I have met men who are kind and level headed at all times, but unfortunately this is very, very rare. If you know one, or you are one, congratulations, please don’t change. Actually, I think I can only remember dating one, and I haven’t found another if his ilk for 5 years, and yes he’s strait. I have dated men who are domineering, constantly thinking they are right without room for argument (I think this might pertain to some of the scientists you referred to in the above quote), men who make trouble with their cars like driving is the battle of a “who has the biggest cock contest,” men who act, or at least try to act completely insensitive about certain subjects even if being so defies moral logic, men who get hotheaded when they are jealous, etc. I’m not saying all these men I dated were jerkfaces, I’m just saying that 99% fit into typical male stereotypes on numerous occasions. This doesn’t make them bad people, it just makes them human beings who need to analyze their actions more.

    And women. Oh God. My experience with women, as friends and as lovers is that more of them than I would like to admit are catty and b!tchy and gossipy. If you are reading this and you are a woman who is not any of those things, then please, for the love of God, be my friend for I need to restore my faith in womankind. I’m not saying I am by any means perfect, but I have trouble understanding and getting along with most women for those very reasons. I don’t like to say things that I wouldn’t say to someone’s face and I can’t understand people (of either gender) who do. I’d like to think I am not b!tchy, and when I catch it rubbing off on me I try to stop, think and apologize. Albeit this is hard, especially when you are angry. I don’t always succeed, but I like to think that because I try to rationalize and self analyze that I do it much less than others.

    I once dated one lesbian who, I guess not wanting to conform to stereotypes, acted tough and butch when, in retrospect, I don’t actually think that she was. I think that there are definitely women out there who are, but she just wasn’t. She wouldn’t admit when she needed or wanted things, wouldn’t admit when she wanted to be treated like a woman and wouldn’t admit that she wanted to settle down and start a family. She constantly tried to deny through words and actions that she fit into any of the normal womanly stereotypes, saying “I’m cool with this” or “I’m cool with that” and trying to make me think that she just wanted the poontang and my friendship. She was SO good at it I never knew this was a front or that she wanted anything more. I REALLY liked this girl. I was hesitant to embark on a monogamous relationship with her because I’m more emotionally attracted towards men, and I didn’t want to hurt her if I discovered I couldn’t live without cock, and plus SHE NEVER ONCE asked or hinted that she might want something like that, even when I asked if she did. I thought I may have been in love with her and I would have given that to her a relationship if she just would have been honest. And lo and behold, when I started a monogamous relationship with a guy, she goes ABSOLUTELY BAT SH!T CRAZY. I’m talking like hell hath no fury crazy.* Bitching me out to every single person that we knew, spreading rumors and lies that not just hurt me but hurt others (who had nothing to do with the situation) as well. She told people that she was in love with me and I broke her heart, and I’ll tell you what, it broke my heart to hear it. I’m just glad that I didn’t go out with her and discover what she was really like later, because that’s just not how people are supposed to conduct themselves.

    In my other experiences as well, with either gender, people who try to deny who they are eventually end up snapping and it is not pretty.

    So now, because of that, when I fit into a stereotype I just admit it. Yes. I am a woman. I am nice but in the appropriate situations I can be tougher than tough and I am NOT contrite (I don’t fit into that stereotype). I get emotional and I cry when I am upset and it gets in the way of my logic capabilities. I want to find a man who is my ideal partner and get married. I absolutely love children and desperately want to have one when I am financially and emotionally able. And yes, when I think someone has been repeatedly mean, unfair and just plane rude and has run out of “give them the benefit of the doubt” passes, I can be a major big fat b!tch who will win against any man or woman in verbal cut-down contest (especially against a man). I’ve tried to tone it down over the years, but I am, by nature, a ballbuster.

    Men want to remain in power, dear, and they use science as a tool to do so.

    True dat! But you must see that something like that is a stereotype. We, as humans, all use them, it’s just how our species builds logic.

    *That is also a stereotype and I learned the hard way that IT’S TRUE.

    They tell you that you're an emotional, passive creature who can't help itself and that you're needy. You need a man in your life (and children) or else your hormones will make you do crazy things. It's okay if men are jerks to you, they can't help themselves. Neither sex has any control over it, it's the way hormones work! Biology! And you can't fight your role as a submissive nurturer while men go out and get things done because that's the way evolution made you! Evolution! Science! And you can't argue with that because you're not a scientist.

    I am needy and I didn’t need a man to ever tell me this. In my experience men are needy too, VERY needy. They just never admit to it and are repelled by women who are needy for some reason. Man-logic baffles me. I definitely don’t need a man and children, but I want them. My hormones do make me do crazy things on a regular basis, although I would like to think that recently I have wrangled them into control. It is not okay if men are jerks. If a man is a jerk to me I turn ballbuster. Yes, people try to tell us things that are lies in the guise of science every day in order to maintain the status quo. Scientists are humans and are therefore biased. Humans are biased but together, we can admit our biases and work together to erase them.

    This is something most cultures have been perpetuating since the dawn of time; the speech never changes, only the rationale used to support it. It used to be about might making right, then philosophy, then religion, now science.

    I believe that stereotypes can only be erased if we admit what about them is based in truth and work to change ourselves. If we change, then the stereotype changes with us.

    Indeed. The problem with that is that the fantasies are not power fantasies, where a woman gets equal rights with men and does the things they do. No, the problem is that those fantasies are about women being emotional and needy and where males are idolised and put in a pedestal. That's why you'll never see a man saying romance novels are a bad influence on women (other than perhaps because no man can ever measure up to the way those male characters are).

    Actually, my ex brought up a very good point on the subject of romance novels, one witch I agreed with him on as a conclusion I had arrived at before we had gotten together. He said that romance novels were a bad influence on women, especially young teenagers due to the fact that men just don’t behave that way. Not that they don’t measure up, it’s just that they are just not fundamentally the same as the fantasy characters women write about, apples and oranges and such. I can only liken it to a man watching a lot of porno and thinking that every woman acts like that and would like to be treated that way.

    You have an excellent point when you say that the fantasies are not power fantasies.**

    When I write yaoi stories I try to at least one or sometimes several of the supporting female characters very strong, just because I hate the way women are bypassed in yaoi. I can only hope that other female writers of the genere start to do the same.

    **This is why I hate Hatsumi from Hot Gimmick. She’s a terrible female role model, almost as bad as April from the early Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoons. If they want to start changing stereotypes, they need to try changing children’s programming!

    Something to think about:

    It's based on reality because reality is like that, yes. But it's reality because you have become used to it, and you have become used to it because it's reality. It's a self-perpetuating cycle where each generation teaches the new one "how things are" and tells them it's useless to try and change because things have always been like that. It's predestination. It's God. It's Science. It's easy. It's comfortable. Don't rock the boat. Be a good girl.

    I say we need more Joan of Arcs.

    I think our society has made great and sweeping changes toward their views on women in the past 100 years. But I also believe that in order for men and women to accept each other we also need to accept and deal with our differences in constructive ways. We’re definitely not good girls anymore and we are definitely boat rockers.

    And hell yeah we need more Joan of Arcs.

  7. Also crying. I really hate crying ukes, but it's there for the same reason. To show emotional/physical intensity.

    Crying ukes can get annoying rather fast. But I think the discussion in this thread has enlightened me as to why it is just so prevalent in a lot of yaoi.

    Interesting article.

    After the last few responses, I feel I may be killed for saying this, but here it goes.

    A lot of women who have been around the block a few times know that crying is the biggest turn off ever to most normal men. In my personal experience, most guys really would just be a thousand miles away then next to a crying woman, it makes them upset and frustrated. I’m sure you all know an exception to the “rule,” and if that’s so, then great, hang onto him.

    But the fact is many of us can't help it, crying at times, that is. Just like men have male hormones that make them act stupid (Mr. Toughguy, Mr. Insensitiveguy, Mr. Jerkface) so do women (Ms. Needy, Ms. Whiny, Ms. Crybaby). Men have their hormones they way they are because that's the way our species has evolved, with the man having to be the strong, dominant protector. Women also have their hormones the way they are because of evolution; they have to be emotional because their role for so long has been of the sympathetic nurturer. Now I don't know what it's like to be a guy, but I can tell you that being a woman, at times, can f#cking suck. Sure, our boobs can sometimes get us things, like free pizza, free movies, cuts in line, etc.* But to be predisposed to be so emotionally attached to, well, just about everything, can be really f#cking frustrating. Imagine not being able to communicate during crucial moments because your flooded with the urge to act like a crying child. And I’m not saying this is true for all women, but those of us who it is true for know who we are.

    Not that men are by any means, any better. Ladies, many of us have been through it, the guy who can't function right due to a momentary over production of male hormones. I don't want to offend any of the men in the forum so I won’t go into it, but girls, a lot of you know what I’m talking about. And I’m not saying this is true for all men either; so don’t birth a cow over it.

    Of course, men and women with good sense can fight these urges and act like normal, productive members of society, and hopefully most of us do.

    My point being, I think crying ukes are so prevalent in yaoi because I guess there are women out there who would like to think, “I can cry and be needy and be myself and the man I’m interested will still find me attractive and want to f#ck me like a stallion.” Which, in general, is not true. Which is why there are things like yaoi and romance novels, they are a fantasy trip into a different reality where men act the way women would like them to.

    Are you kidding me? That is exactly the sort of thing you waste money on. You pay a bunch of scientists to half-ass a study that nobody will cross-check because it's neither socially controversial nor a scientific breakthrough, and you publicise it with the intention of perpetuating a social stereotype and halt social progress.

    EDIT: In case it needs to be stated, this keeps perpetuating that a woman's natural state is to passively cry and hope for the best whenever something threatens her, and that her main weapons are her tears.

    Up until the 20th century, a majority of society has been male dominated. For the longest time, they only weapons most woman had were their intelligence, their sexuality, and yes, their tears. Unless you were like Annie Oakley of course . . . which was rare.

    I know that stereotypes are very frustrating, angering, and even embarrassing, but there are many of them, like it or not, that do have their origins in reality. But whether you are a man or a woman, realizing how you may fit into a stereotype puts you in a unique position to change it.

    I'm not saying any of this to propetuate any stereotype, but only to offer some ideas as to why they are there and how they can be changed.

    *Okay, maybe not all women, but I list these things because they are based on my own experience. Despise me if you will, but it felt damn good at the time. Plus I’m a terrible spendthrift, so free is like an orgasm to me.

  8. Well, I was just wondering because I was like "Is this something I should be writing about?" I mean, if yaoi fans really liked it I'm sure I could fit it in somewhere. That's why this is in writers corner btw. But if it's just a weird Japanese thing I guess I shouldn't be too worried about it.

  9. Alright, I know how this might sound, but I have been wondering this for a while and I really whould like to get to the bottom of this. Do Japanse people drool while having sex? Is this just a Yaoi fetish? Do just certain guys, regardless of race just happen to drool while having sex? Is it just guys? What is up with ukes always drooling in yaoi scenes? Is this a big turn on for women all over the world or is it just Japanese women? Am I supposed to be turned on? Is it weird that I'm not?? Is there a name for this kind of fetish??? I've just scene it soooo many times in Japanese yaoi manga and books that I finally had to ask. What is going on here?! I'm sorry to sound so intense, but this question has been weighing on my mind for YEARS . . .

    Sorry, I hope I didn't offend anyone . . .

  10. As a reader, I shudder at stumbling across these words:

    Love muffin

    Man rod

    Tuna taco (Yes, I have read about a lover slurping a tuna taco)

    Furry clam

    If you are going down on a girl and her taco smells like tuna, it's time to call her a cab. I was about to have mexican food after this and now it's ruined . . . .

  11. I just think it's kind of stupid that they would allow that sort of thing in the first place and then take it away. I mean, they "say" they didn't allow it and then they "unofficially" allowed it and now they're purging tons of cool stories like RoinRock's Death Note fic Poisoned Apple. But since it means more people going to AFF I guess it's a good thing. I don't know, I just like it better when people can make up their mind and stick to it, instead of "We're offering you this cool service, you can even look up pairings, oops, now we're taking it away, now we're giving it back but shh, don't tell anyone!, oops, someone threatened us again, now we have to take it away again, sorry folks!" It's like, seriously, grow a pair of testicals FF.

  12. I like this thread. I wants to update it . . .

    agateophilia the crazier the better (i blame mad murdoch on that one)

    Well, I could pretend I've never fallen for anyone crazy, but that would be a lie. 2

    aichmophilia especially swords and knives, along with blood (slicing into another and drinking the blood) and decapitation (jesus crucifixion i also find highly arousing)

    Well, I could pretend that the first thing that ever aroused me sexually wasn't a cartoon G.I. Joe being tortured on a bed of spikes when I was three years old, but I won't. 3

    anemophilia (wind/breezes) dont know why just always have

    Okay, now that's a little bizarre. 7

    body scents

    Normal, 1.

    daimonophilia in particular demons

    Ha, who isn't? 2

    exhibitionism

    According to my second ex-fiance it's quite normal. 2

    foreign languages/ people

    Foreign is sexy. 1. Well, not everything foreign is sexy, but you get the point. A-hahaha, aichmophilia, point, ZING! Forgive my corniness.

    merinthophilia (being restrained/tied up) but that's pretty standard

    Yes it is, I should know. 3

    strangulation during sex

    Totally normal. 3

    biting

    Normal. 1

    My fetishes:

    Gay male sex / yaoi

    Lesbian sex / yuri (although not so much anymore, bitches are craaaaaaaaaaazy! Even turned me off to fiction . . . )

    BSDM. Pretty normal. Love being tied up and restrained! In fiction and real life!

    Double Penetration (in fiction and pornography only)

    Trannys (in real life only. Never really had the urge to read a tranny fic.)

    Threesomes of any gender combination (although only in fiction now, because people get f*cking nuts in these situations)

    Non Con in fiction and in bedroom play

    Voyeurism

    daimonophilia (in fiction)

  13. Holy crap people actually responded to my post? No way?! and here I was think that I would have to live a sad and lonely life on the internet. I propose a topic: what is your faverite book? Humm? My faverorite is Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte. I read it as a child in the 4th grade. It made absolutely no sense to me. I reread it two years later and it has been my favorite book ever since.

    I love Wuthering Heights. I actually recently saw one of the older film adaptations staring Laurence Olivier and it was awesome. But I have to say, that for the longest time my absolute favorite book was Jane Eyre which I read in the sixth grade. I have every single film adaptation I could get my hands on in my dvd/video library. My favorite book now for many years has been Biting the Sun by Tanith Lee followed closely by The Silver Metal Lover by the same author. Strangely enough, the sequel she wrote to the latter book is my least favorite book of all time . . .

  14. I just finished reading Hot Gimmick S and I really have to say the whole Shinogu X Hatsumi pairing really creeps me out. I know I wrote a fanfiction once where that was one of the pairings, but I really wrote the whole thing just to be vile . . .

    Also, this is way off the whole Anime/Manga topic, but I have to say it. Steve Carell and Keira Knightly in that movie that's supposed to come out, "Seeking a Friend for the End of the World," has to be the weirdest pairing ever imagined. It's like the producers got together and said "Hey, I know, lets think of two people who should NEVER EVER be in the same movie little less opposite romantic roles and put them together!"

    I swear to God I got goosebumps and nausea when I saw the publicity poster at the movie theater . . .

  15. That'd be me, not that I need it :P

    gimme anyway :D

    Nice job with your thread on "Right and Wrong according to Zyx." Enjoy the naughty points.

    Damn, only one person starts a new topic and gets naughty points, proving that you can't even pay people to keep this forum alive and bursting with new topics.

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