MorbidFantasy

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Everything posted by MorbidFantasy

  1. http://games.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600081072 Thought I'd start this thread so I can share my thoughts with you guys about my progress with the fic. It's not that I've taken a year hiatus from writing the fic, it's that I've written so many conflicting story lines for FMC that I end up scrapping most of them and starting anew, the process has happened three times already, and the graveyard for my unpublished FMC drafts is upward of 50000 words at this point. Surprisingly the six newest chapters are part of a one days worth of writing when I was loaded on caffeine and inspiration just seemed to fly at me. The relationship with Ivan/Vasily didn't even develop until when I was writing it. Up until he appeared in Lara's cell I really had just intended for him to be a big guy with a big dick to bugger her with, and I had to go back and change some parts in order to retroactively change his significance in the story. I'll probably share the hitherto scrapped ideas that I've done a lot of work on in the past months, since some of them will end up being reworked into the story later if I can. Thoughts, suggestions, ideas on where I should go in the short term with the next chapters?
  2. MorbidFantasy

    Metroid - the Bergman Affair feedback, comments, and workshopping

    Well hello there, blast from the past! How serendipitous that I decided to check my email after 2 years of neglect only to see some action happening in this thread. I recently started doing some reviewing and brainstorming for continuing FMC after having set it aside for a while due to irl stuff. Any chance you’ll get around to continuing Pride and Politics?
  3. MorbidFantasy

    Metroid - the Bergman Affair feedback, comments, and workshopping

    How very Westworld of you, lol #fidelity.
  4. MorbidFantasy

    Metroid - the Bergman Affair feedback, comments, and workshopping

    The fuck is this thread turning into lol, let’s not bring the horrors of the real world into this and just enjoy the vicarious horrors of fiction space, plox. Besides, even reality can be stranger than fiction, so who’s to say that a character left turn won’t make sense on some level?
  5. MorbidFantasy

    Metroid - the Bergman Affair feedback, comments, and workshopping

    I will say the thing I like the most about Pride and Politics thus far is the comparatively beefier salvation arc. Reins of the Tomb Raider was and is a good read, but Sam/Himiko’s literal Deus Ex Machina kinda dictated a truncated ending. As always, the choice of the MC’s dressage is impeccable. Loved the pony-girl in Reins, and the bird getup here is a nice lore reference to Samus’s origins.
  6. MorbidFantasy

    Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles, review and discussion thread.

    Damnit lol I actually meant 8pm. Originally I had 2200 hours and 10pm but changed it down to 8pm but didn’t edit the description properly. This is what happens when the chapter is written at 3am on the last legs of coffee. Will be fixed promptly.
  7. MorbidFantasy

    Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles, review and discussion thread.

    Chapter 44-46 “The Arab Prince #2-4” is up, here are the comments. In the new updates, I definitely borrowed a lot of ideas from HunterOpera’s Reins of the Tomb Raider fic. The use of Lara’s title of “Duchess” as a pet name, the cavity search, and the pony tail, although I did have a kitten tail in a much earlier chapter (which was posted ages ago) I haven’t written it yet, but the introduction of the tail might be leading up to some sort of pony-girl scenario, let me know if if you guys would like to see something like that. A long time ago, I had posted rough drafts for “The Arab Prince” which included a scene with Lara and Prince Adil of house Saud. That scene is still relevant to the current narrative, and will take place sometime after Lara arrives at Samir’s summer palace. Adil’s bio as detailed in an earlier post in this thread is still the same. He’s Samir’s nephew, and is more morally upright than most of the male characters in this story (although I’m not going to make him a hero or a saint) Let me know what scenes you guys would like to see Samir impose on Lara. I have two chapters in the pipe being worked on to complete the sea voyage part of this arc, to lead into Lara’s second week in Trellick’s service. Cheers.
  8. MorbidFantasy

    Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles, review and discussion thread.

    Chap.42 There’s a hidden element of the supernatural in this chapter that I revealed in chap44, where it is shown that sources of the blue energy have the ability to alter people’s behavior. Also, 44 reveals that Natla’s consciousness is having some control over the blue energy, and may actually be trying to accomplish something using Lara. It’s kinda of like how Hanson and Lara only spent less than a hour total over 3 days inside the temple but somehow he hallucinated fucking Lara, marrying her, and taking over her life and professional prestige. Basically, the blue energy can influence people into action, but can cause some people to trap themselves in an imagined reality, while physically becoming enthralled to the blue energy. I’ll try to be clear in the writing what scenes are being imagined and what scenes are in the real world. Chapt43 I’ve been trying to take Gordo in this netorare direction as a character (in this instance, the netorare partner Lara is being stolen away from is her figurative marriage to her archaeological profession). Because there’s more erotic value to having new men torment Lara in new ways, I’ve decided to dial back Gordo’s BDSM role for now. You’re completely right about the number of cocks. After a while the number looks meaningless, although I promise there’s some meaning to it.. I tend to bounce around between M/F and Multi/F chapter to chapter just to change things up. Currently, I’m trying to set a tempo of more scenes with Lara and only a few people punctuated by occasional spikes in participants. Some of Lara’s masters will have very little sexual interest in her, instead using her to further their own aims. Trellick is one example of this. Yeah, in the coming chapters I’m going to try to put Lara in situations where she can flex her professional skills. Thanks for the feedback, it’s good for me to have a gauge on what story elements appeal to readers.
  9. MorbidFantasy

    Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles, review and discussion thread.

    Chapter 44: Ohk Eshivar is up I actually got the idea for this chapter from a much earlier draft for the Dig chapters (Hanson’s arc with Lara inside the temple) The “philosopher stone” is still very much its own entity, but is connected/related to the blue eitr from Tomb Raider: Legend’s plot. However, Natla’s consciousness has somehow merged with the blue energy, now sharing space with the stone and altering its directives. The opening scene of 44 is taken from the dialogue from “Lara’s Shadow” DLC. This chapter was the solution to some of the writers block I’ve been suffering from which was how to tie everything together cohesively without accidentally writing in a bunch of conflicting backstory. The Arab Prince arc is about to commence, so this chapter serves to introduce or mention some of its players: Trellick, nicknamed “Mr. Interpol” by Lara, recognized her by name but not by face in their first meeting. Damian, ex-pat from Texas, works for Trellick in his illegal arms business. Takashi “The Otaku” Takamoto- This character I had a lot of fun planning because it helps with the revelation that Gordo is a big fat liar, and half the stuff that comes out of his mouth is make belief. The call back to McGee “KingMcGee” from the chapters I wrote 10 years ago was also fun to include. In case some of you missed it, Takashi was one of the prison “guards”, and the baton he used to violate Lara in the prison arc is the same baton crafted from the Shogo’s broken staff. Shogo Takamoto- play TR: Legend for his bio or watch the cutscenes on youtube. His backstory is the same except here he didn’t die and he’s Takashi’s father. Prince Samir- mentioned in this chapter which will tie into his appearance in the chapters to come. Chapter 45: The Arabic Prince #1: False Flag Operation is up I really enjoyed fleshing out Trellick and Damian, and will be filling in their backstory as we go along. Kitty and Anika also get small speaking roles. Gordo is spending this chapter hanging out with his coworkers Takashi and Vladim, butting heads but maybe sharing ideas.
  10. MorbidFantasy

    Metroid - the Bergman Affair feedback, comments, and workshopping

    It’s on Amazon Kindle. There’s a few more scenes, and some plot details have been changed.
  11. MorbidFantasy

    Metroid - the Bergman Affair feedback, comments, and workshopping

    Fantasies of rape falls into the same category as every other dark fantasy. I can watch John Wick and be enthralled by the gunplay but that wouldn’t make me walk into a nighclub and start shooting at the security. I write non-con rather frequently but never have I actually raped anyone. This is about relegating the immoral thoughts to fantasies so that we can behave morally in real life. Thought does not equal crime. As to this fic’s fidelity to Samus’s canonical personality (been watching Westworld, have I), the Metroid writers regularly play hopscotch with Samus being a badass or her being every feminine game character cliche, so I think we have a lot of leeway here. Good to see you back Hunter, I liked the changes you made in the remastered version of Reins.
  12. MorbidFantasy

    Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles, review and discussion thread.

    Chaper 43: Assignment Two: Maritime Interlude is up And oh my word the number of typos and editing snafus that I found immediately after posting. I think I’ve cleaned most of it up. Listening to a text to speech rendition of the chapter was very helpful with the typos. I know I had introduced a new character called Anika in an old Arab Prince draft that I’m no longer sharing in this thread. In that draft, it was Anika that was supposed to star in chapter 42 as the one who breaks Lara down. Needless to say, Chapter 42 ended up being very Xavier-centric instead. Anika is still in the story, but I’ve decided to put her in the background for now for narrative brevity. Hopefully her character will get some better scenes in the future.
  13. MorbidFantasy

    Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles, review and discussion thread.

    I apologize for coming off as disingenuous back in December when I said “I’m back”. When I said that, I really did have a draft that was 80% finished. Needless to say, that particular draft never resolved itself, so this is me saying “I’m back” officially. Chapter 42: Last Week In Peru is up, spoilerish comments to follow In addition to the normal feedback, I’m open to suggestions or predictions (the two aren’t mutually exclusive) regarding what happens next. At least three times in the writing of FMC, I’ve went back to the drawing board after discussions with a reviewer or after having read the works of some of my favorite authors on AFF. Smut writing really is about finding the balance between what turns me and the readers on and how far I can twist things before the logic fails. Looking forward to any input. I get that its’ been ages since the last update, but I still get the occasional email asking if I’m alive or writing, so here’s me shouting out to the support. From Extraction on June 26, 2018 ok this is trash Welp, that took no time at all lol.
  14. MorbidFantasy

    The Legendary Sucker Chronicles

    http://naruto.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600105859 Tsunade's gambling debts come back to haunt her. As a result, she is tricked into signing a contract that basically forces her to work off her debt as an unwilling prostitute for the wealthy and powerful. Inspired by wierdmeijin's "The Fifth's Long Week", which sadly up and disappeared into the ether a few years back, along with several other excellent pieces that he simply never finished. With this piece, I aim to write it, and finish it, in a way that can reasonably fit it into the Narutoverse canon. critical feedback is and always will be welcome. Haters and trolls... well, you're not welcome at all but it's not like I can do much to keep you out, can I. I can only appeal to your greater humanity for mercy... maybe. Edit: Shit, forgot to put in the title that this is a review response thread. Admins? A little help?
  15. MorbidFantasy

    Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles, review and discussion thread.

    I’m back. Been writing sporadically. There’s quite a bit of text in the graveyard right now. The problem of updating this fic over several years is the inevitable continuity issues that crop up. Some of them are easily soft ret-conned, but others directly impact the final arcs of what I had imagined. The Arab Prince arc will still be up next, but there will be a fair bit of tweaking to it.
  16. MorbidFantasy

    Metroid - the Bergman Affair feedback, comments, and workshopping

    Just got back on AFF, caught up with Pride an Politics. Liked mostly everything about it. Made me remember (and revisit) your graphics on deviantart. It’s interesting the tweaks to the physical narrative when comparing the written work to the deviantart modeling. My favorite chapter out of your breadth of work is by far “Duchess Dressage”. That’s a chapter that I keep coming back to for the vivid step by step illustration. A fairly minor detail that bugged me is the missing description of a catheter appendage in the vaginal dildos. Anatomically it would make more sense to include that detail especially since your subjects (Lara during crate transport, Samus in PnP) seem to have had the choice of when to urinate taken away from them. As to what I’ve been up to regarding my Fat Man fic, There were several false starts over the past year+ where I wrote experimental arcs that I wasn’t happy with. I think I know what I want to do with the Arab Prince arc now. The irony is the ending 3 location arcs are so locked in stone that it actually affected what I could introduce or build in previous chapters without ending up with a bunch of loose ends.
  17. MorbidFantasy

    The Order of The Goddess

    Oh dang I remember your story. It was on my list of recommended stories from way back, probably pre 2010. http://members.adult-fanfiction.org/profile.php?no=1296792926 That profile has seen little changer since 2008 hahaha. Were there any significant plot changes or edits in this version that I didn’t know about in the original AFF fic?
  18. MorbidFantasy

    Count To Infinity

    35883
  19. MorbidFantasy

    Metroid - the Bergman Affair feedback, comments, and workshopping

    Well at least he seems invested in the story lol, obviously invested on an emotional level. Job well done I say.
  20. MorbidFantasy

    Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles, review and discussion thread.

    Other than that, how was the chapter? Your comments will directly impact some of the details in the follow up chapters. No need for sycophancy. If you liked it no need to post. If you hated it, tell me why and where you'd like it changed.
  21. MorbidFantasy

    Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles, review and discussion thread.

    Quick reply to the comments received. Xavier has a minor appearance in an later arc and yes there will be resolution. It wouldn't be past Everest to do such a thing, killing or making Lara kill someone. To say more would be spoiling it As with Xavier, me not mentioning Hanson or including them at the moment does not mean I'm ignoring them. It just means their characters haven't exhausted all of their appearances. Anika was is the second girl with kitty. She was attending to mark Tremaine in the bath. Small appearance, but her role will increase. In fact you'll see plenty of her in chapter 2 of Arab prince.
  22. MorbidFantasy

    Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles, review and discussion thread.

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zxT_5f4dpWLJ84hHATl4G57ShSH_JzjUi9KnyeER_tg/edit?usp=sharing This is the current draft for Chapter 1 of "The Arab Prince". Comments are welcome. 4000 words is a little lengthy but there aren't many places to trim at this point. I'm working on its companion chapter and both will be posted at the same time. Chapter's 3 and 4 have also had work done on them but right now I'm finalizing 2.
  23. MorbidFantasy

    Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles, review and discussion thread.

    Here are some spoilers regarding characters in "The Arabic Prince"
  24. MorbidFantasy

    Tomb Raider: Fat Man Chronicles, review and discussion thread.

    Big Announcement regarding FMC that will also answer this inquiry. The first and foremost is that I've literally finalized every last major plot point in the fic, having multi paragraph summaries for every future chapter in this fic, including placement of sex scenes, participants, and reason for each scene. The fic is, in my mind, done. All that is left is to expand the paragraph summaries into actual chapters. Many smutt ideas that I've floated around over the years of writing this fic, including the previously proposed "Contractually Indentured" will end up being posted as side story material in either the Philosopher's Stone fic or in a "FMC Side Stories" fic. Basically, there will be some sex in FMC that are glossed over with a single sentence hinting at their occurring, but since the scenes don't offer immediate information pertinent to story progression I've trimmed them from the main story and would fit them into the supplemental fics. For those who doubt whether I am telling the truth regarding having fully planned this out, well, here are the basic set up for the last few arcs in FMC, as well as teasers for characters. The more detailed plot summaries I won't post here but will provide to anyone in exchange for their honest critique once they've read it. Email me and morbidfantasy12@gmail.com if you want google doc links to any of the following arcs 1. The Arab Prince (6 chapters planned): Setting: Tropical beach side resort owned by Trellick Characters: Trellick, the adopted son of a Saudi Arabian Governor (in reality his bastard son) Damian, a white South African human trafficker working for Trellick Adil (English name Edison), half brother of Trellick, stands to inherit the governorship from his father Ablah (English name Belladette), Adil's sister, 17 years of age. Samir, brother to the Governor, uncle to Trellick and his half siblings. The Nubians, a trio of male slaves commanded by Damian Kitty, and one of her "sisters" 2. A Siberian Wasteland (6 chapters planned) Setting: Frozen Tundra, multiplex prison camp owned by Serkov Characters: Serkov, industrialist billionaire who dabbles in human trafficking/slavery Vladim, Serkov's right hand man Vasily, Serkov's former employee turned prisoner, sex performer Serkov's son, a frat boy, features in a written side story but not as part of main plot 3. The Gentlemen's Club (6 chapters planned) Setting: formal event, night club, yakuza properties Characters: Shogo Takamoto, survivor of TRL, still a rising force within the Yakuza Tanaka, his right hand man Collins, introduced during an early FMC chapter, is a politically connected Brit in Japan The Yakuza: refers to a group of underbosses serving the Oyabun The Oyabun: the godfather of a major branch of the Yakuza 4. Detour in Europe and Saudi Arabia (2 Europe+3 Saudi chapters planned) New characters: Harrison (will be introduced via a side story) Returning Characters: all the Saudi governor's family (Samir, Adir, Ablah, Trellick, Damian, etc), Everest (making an appearance towards the end) 5. The Heat of the Desert (6 chapters planned) Setting: Las Vegas Characters: Dr. Mark Willard, survivor of TR3, owner of the meteorite fragments Royce, his right hand man Everest Gordo 6. The finale (chapter count and character inclusion confidential) At this point some characters may no longer be involved, due to death or other factors, thus the inclusion or exclusion of characters in this final arc may in fact be too revealing. At this point, I'm about 3000 words into The Arabic Prince, with about 1500 word summaries for the other arcs. My next post will talk about some less organized thoughts I have regarding finishing FMC.
  25. I.loved.wierdmeijin. loved his/her fics to death. Esp the fic that is the subject of this thread. For those of you unfamiliar with the fix, it's premise is tsunade loses too much money in gambling and has to pay it off by becoming a sex slave for a week. The ideas were sexy. The use of jutsus and narutoverse mechanics were hot, and ever one of the thirty some chapters were glorious nuggets of wierdmeijin's brilliantly twisted mind. That is, until the fic up and vanished into the ether. For those of you unfamiliar with my work, my mainstay fic on aff is my tomb raider fat man chronicles story which also happens to be a remake of another author's fic. Check it out if you dare (it's 37 chaps and on going.) Basically. I want to reenvision "The fifths long week" and am seeing if there's genuine interest. Also. I'm wondering if by chance anyone managed to archive the fic before wierdmeijin deleted it. If you like me are a fan of the fix and would wish to see specific scenes from it appear in my fix, do respond with ideas and suggestions. Update: Tried to email wierdmeijin at his listed email address but it looks like that email no longer works. It would seem that s/he is truly gone Already started drafting scenes and ideas for "The Fifth's Long Week". Will try not to let it putter out into yet another one of my stalled projects. Cheerios, m8s