Everything posted by lennoxmacduffes
lennoxmacduffes posted a topic in Het-Male/FemaleHello. This thread is for the responses to the reviews of “Disclosure & Interloper” While I am not fully interested in anal, it does not appall me either and I find it funny in some situations, so I’ll certainly include it in the future. I was thinking it would be either Pacifica just due to how strongly against it she was, or Mabel because of how expensive contraceptives can be, and I always pictured the twins not very wealthy. I imagine that, despite her young age, Pacifica’s parents are already educating her to be a shark in the business world, and to take advantage of every situation that she can, so she reacted almost instinctively to the opportunity presented to her. Wendy simply had no chance. This will be even funnier after something about the broken vase is revealed in the next chapter when Dipper has a second of privacy with Pacifica. I’m really sorry a scene ruined the mood for you; that is the opposite of what I try to achieve when writing the scenes. If it’s the scene where Pacifica forbids Dipper from having sex with Wendy and Dipper gets furious, I had planned that to be the spot where part 2 ended and part 3 started, but ultimately I put everything in a single part, so that scene and the one after that indeed wrecks the pacing because up until that part everything is meant to be one sex scene, and after that part, another separate sex scene. I feel, however, that Dipper reacted in-character because Pacifica had been pushing him more and more throughout the day, and he was bound to snap at some point. I like focusing on Pacifica’s behavior because I feel she changed a lot through the series, and I like giving depth to that. I imagined that she grew up in a cold and superficial environment, and she enjoyed that because she was at the top of the food chain. She was the queen. However, when Dipper arrived, she discovered someone disinterestedly caring and affective for the first time, and much to her surprise, she actually liked that. This was a problem for her because nobody in her social circle could provide her with that newly discovered interest; her parents were cold and wanted only achievements out of her, and her friends were all bullies like her. Pacifica was so young and impressionable, that Dipper suddenly became like a superhero to her, and he climbed to the top of her priority list. For this reason, she wanted to keep him at any cost, and she was very insecure about anything he paid more attention to than her. As for the future of the fic, I have two ideas after Interloper is wrapped: one about adding Mabel to the mix, and one about some serious exhibitionism with maybe cross-dressing for Dipper to play with the whole thing of Mabel and Dipper being twins, because I feel it is less suspicious to see two girls entering a changing room than a boy and a girl. The issue that I’m having now, however, is that I have too much material to wrap Interloper in one more part, and too little to make two, so I guess I’ll have to do another extra long one or discard scenes. I like the Dipper/Pacifica pairing the most, mainly because I have a very easy time coming up with scenarios for them, but I already had 105k words of that between the “There is a First Time for Everything” and the “A Camping Trip with Mabel” stories, so I wanted to try something different. I wanted to write something about Wendy and explore that size and age difference she has with Dipper, but without leaving Pacifica out, so I made the short story of “Disclosure” where they are in their original ages (unlike in the other two stories mentioned) to act as a setting for “Interloper”. Therefore, the story was never meant to be a Dipper/Pacifica exclusive story, but more of a Dipper/Other-girls where Pacifica gets a say. As for Dipper being suddenly interested in Mabel, I plan to add Mabel, but it can’t be possible with that approach. In the way I see regular behavior, people tend to their needs before they tend to their desires. Someone that is hungry will make a priority to get food, but once the hunger is satiated, getting food stops being a priority unless a desire such a gluttony makes it so. In this instance, Dipper’s sexual urges are being kept in check by both Wendy and Pacifica, who drain his testosterone regularly, so it would never cross his mind that he could add a third girl into that routine, let alone Mabel. Furthermore, it would probably scare him rather than appeal to him the idea of having a third girl competing for milking his seed on a regular basis. So Mabel will join, but the idea will not come from Dipper; it will come from Mabel. I’m not 100% decided on this because I only have a rough draft of that arc, but I was thinking something along the lines of Mabel getting seriously jealous of Dipper getting to punch his v-card before she did, even though she had been trying really hard that summer and Dipper hadn’t really, so she wants to solve that situation by joining them.
lennoxmacduffes replied to lennoxmacduffes's topic in Het-Male/FemaleDon't worry, I didn't take the review badly. The biggest issue I had with it, was that by “she went too far” I wasn't sure if you meant Wendy or Pacifica, as Wendy also made the impregnation joke that got Dipper a neck-breaking slap, but I guessed it had to be Pacifica. I enjoy all reviews I can use for improvement, whether they are regular, extensive, or even flame reviews. For me, the worst kind of reviews are those along the lines of “good chapter, can't wait for the next one”, because I can't learn anything from them to apply to future chapters. And even in this case, it's not like I dislike them, but I always prefer reviews to be specific so that I can put more of what they particularly liked, or less of what they disliked if I agree, on the next chapters. I do indeed have 2 beta readers, something I'm not sure how it leaked out because I always only mention 1, and this is because I consider it 1.5 since one of them only solves my grammar doubts and doesn't actually get to read more than a couple of separate sentences of the story. The other one reads the whole story, although in short 2-4k words parts, and I find it as a fantastic motivation to write because, especially with these long stories, any part you can mark as “proofread” and forget about, helps greatly with writing the rest. I did promise him as compensation a scene where Pacifica forces Wendy to look like a lady instead of like a tomboy, so I have to see where I can fit that in the next chapter too.