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InBrightestDay

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  1. Like
    InBrightestDay reacted to Thundercloud in InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread   
    No need to give explicit credit for that beyond this forum post, but I appreciate the gesture.
  2. Like
    InBrightestDay got a reaction from JayDee in JayDee's (Originals) review reply, story discussion and additional notes thread   
    The irony of the situation is that this is kind of the same thing that happened back in 2008 when I read Whore of Heaven, got all depressed and wrote to JayDee asking if I could write what, ten years later, would become The Woman in the Statue.  I literally asked if WoH was intended as an anti-religion piece, not because I was mad, but because I didn’t want to write a sequel that would contradict the original story’s message.
  3. Like
    InBrightestDay got a reaction from pippychick in JayDee's (Originals) review reply, story discussion and additional notes thread   
    The irony of the situation is that this is kind of the same thing that happened back in 2008 when I read Whore of Heaven, got all depressed and wrote to JayDee asking if I could write what, ten years later, would become The Woman in the Statue.  I literally asked if WoH was intended as an anti-religion piece, not because I was mad, but because I didn’t want to write a sequel that would contradict the original story’s message.
  4. Like
    InBrightestDay reacted to JayDee in JayDee's (Originals) review reply, story discussion and additional notes thread   
    Blood on the Hay got a review!
    Thank you for the review!  Absolutely see where you’re coming from – with the flashfic/1000 word prompt stories sometimes it was possible to tell a proper story in the short bursts and sometimes, well, it comes across more like a fragment. I can totally see it here – similar issue with the end of part 2, in that I wrote what I had for 1000 words but there isn’t really a full finish, just the dude realising that Jeb was a piece of shit and there ain’t a lot more to say – but conflict can always add more, a bit of a driving force to things. One way to have it would be to have the trio checking out the bloody barn and getting caught by the lawfolk coming back. And when the Slumber-verse characters appear in the next story chronologically, Kate’s back part of the pack and they never seem to speak of it again. I really need to write a third concluding part to cover it all off, tie things up.
    One of these days, maybe.
    Thanks again! I appreciate your time in reading and reviewing.
  5. Like
    InBrightestDay got a reaction from pippychick in InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread   
    Thank you!   I suppose now is as good a time as any to bring up some of the names of the characters.  Not everyone’s name means something of course, but some of them do.
    Kevin is derived (eventually) from the old Irish name Cóemgein, which starts with the Gaelic word cóem, which means “kind” or “gentle”.  He has some issues, including the odd flash of anger, but he’s very gentle with Luzurial.
    Abdul is kind of a cheat, in that it’s a Pakistani name derived from the Arabic words Abd al, which just mean “servant of the”, but I was kind of going for a reference to the Arabic name Abd Allah, or “servant of God”.  Sirki is a Pakistani name referring to a leather worker, which means it’s kind of the equivalent of “Tanner” or something.
    Chloe is an English name meaning “green shoot” in Greek.  ‘Cause, you know...she’s new.  Liu is a Chinese surname meaning “kill” or “destroy”, which sounds pretty bad, but it fits her role on what is basically a preternatural SWAT team.
    Luzurial, according to JayDee, is derived from the Spanish luz, meaning light, as well as a deliberately misspelled version of the Archangel Uriel’s name.  It’s good that it’s misspelled, since Uriel translates from the Hebrew as “light of God” (or possibly “God is my light”), so Luzuriel would be kind of redundant.
    Well, she’s far more resilient than a human would be, and she’s definitely doing amazingly well considering what she’s been through, but there will be issues, which will become rather obvious in Part Three.
    I should note that she’s healing far more slowly than she used to.  I tried to base as much of The Woman in the Statue as possible on what we saw in Whore of Heaven, and one of the things I noticed was that Luzurial’s healing, along things like her durability and strength, are affected by her mental and emotional state.  There’s a baseline, of course (she doesn’t just stop healing at any point), but given her trauma, what would in the past have healed in less than a minute instead takes hours.  Obviously, as she gets better, that will accelerate.
    That also owes its genesis to Whore of Heaven, where it’s mentioned that humanity went forth with new knowledge of and defenses against, but also new dealings with, the forces of Hell, so I figured some criminals might attempt to make deals with demons, and a branch of law enforcement would arise to deal with that.
    There’s actually a deleted scene (as in I literally wrote it and then deleted it because I didn’t think it was necessary) in Part Eight where Luzurial is part of a briefing and a National Guard soldier pulls a “And where were you for the last seventy five years?” at which point Chloe tells him exactly where Luzurial was for the last 75 years.  Cue guilt trip.
    Chloe: Listen, Major Dumbass…
    Major: It’s “Dumas.”
    Chloe: Not right now it isn’t.
    Well thank you so much for the review!  I basically wrote this to help me feel better after reading Whore of Heaven all those years ago (JayDee can tell you all about it, but I tend to call this story “my little therapy project”), and I had no idea how it would go over here, so thank you for the support!
  6. Like
    InBrightestDay got a reaction from pippychick in JayDee's (Originals) review reply, story discussion and additional notes thread   
    Don’t feel bad about not responding to that first review.  I still haven’t gotten around to reading and reviewing Chapter 2, and it’s been a month!
    Oh, and I realize you guys were discussing this earlier, but if I may offer my two cents here…
    First, on behalf of religious people, I’m sorry for any unpleasant experiences you’ve had.  I know this doesn’t make up for it, but know that we’re not all dicks.
    So, on Luzurial’s suffering being her reason for existing, I don’t know that that’s clear.  Cars eventually break down, and the manufacturer knows this will inevitably happen, but that’s not why the car is made.  Luzurial is mentioned as being valued for her wisdom and having distinguished herself in battle, so she has touched the lives of her fellow angels and protected the universe (or at least the Earth) before, and I don’t see any reason that couldn’t be her purpose.  Her rape and torture are things that happen to her, but it doesn’t seem right (to me, anyway) to imagine she exists specifically to be raped and tortured.
    With regards to divine omniscience, what pippychick describes is a valid criticism of the deterministic interpretation (the future is set in stone), but there is another way to look at it.  A vital part of Christian dogma, and I think it also applies to Judaism and Islam, is that humans (and any other forms of sapient life that may exist) have free will, the ability to choose.  God is believed to value free will so intensely that He allows it even though many make the choice to do terrible things, so I’ve never been comfortable with determinism, which removes free will from the equation.
    Another interpretation, however, is that omniscience means that God knows every possible outcome, all of the billions of billions of possible futures made by all the interacting choices of billions of sapient individuals.  However, while all the possible results of all our possible choices may be seen, at the critical inflection point, our choices matter.  In other words, it’s not “these horrible things will happen,” but rather “these horrible things may happen, but the choice is yours.”
    Bringing this back to Whore of Heaven, God would know all the outcomes of everyone’s possible choices, including the chain of events based on the choices made (Luzurial’s choice to intervene, her choice to help the survivors, her choice to try to talk to Eparlegna, her choice to try to spare the caged women, his choice to torture her, Shondra and Molly’s choice to serve him, etc.).  All of these things are known ahead of time, but they are not fate; until the choices are made, they are only possible outcomes.
    Or, to put it way more simply, the future is foreseen, but it is not foregone.
    I hope I haven’t annoyed or offended either of you.  I’ve told JayDee about this elsewhere, but I don’t have anything against atheists.  In fact, randomly enough, most of my friends in high school were atheists, and now it’s a fairly even mix.  I don’t think you’re getting in trouble for not believing in God.  Honestly, I think that what really matters is that you live your life trying to do what you genuinely believe to be right.
    Again, no offense was intended, pippychick, and I hope I haven’t irritated you.  I’m not trying to convert anyone; I just wanted to discuss another potential way of looking at the omniscience idea.
  7. Like
    InBrightestDay got a reaction from JayDee in JayDee's (Originals) review reply, story discussion and additional notes thread   
    Don’t feel bad about not responding to that first review.  I still haven’t gotten around to reading and reviewing Chapter 2, and it’s been a month!
    Oh, and I realize you guys were discussing this earlier, but if I may offer my two cents here…
    First, on behalf of religious people, I’m sorry for any unpleasant experiences you’ve had.  I know this doesn’t make up for it, but know that we’re not all dicks.
    So, on Luzurial’s suffering being her reason for existing, I don’t know that that’s clear.  Cars eventually break down, and the manufacturer knows this will inevitably happen, but that’s not why the car is made.  Luzurial is mentioned as being valued for her wisdom and having distinguished herself in battle, so she has touched the lives of her fellow angels and protected the universe (or at least the Earth) before, and I don’t see any reason that couldn’t be her purpose.  Her rape and torture are things that happen to her, but it doesn’t seem right (to me, anyway) to imagine she exists specifically to be raped and tortured.
    With regards to divine omniscience, what pippychick describes is a valid criticism of the deterministic interpretation (the future is set in stone), but there is another way to look at it.  A vital part of Christian dogma, and I think it also applies to Judaism and Islam, is that humans (and any other forms of sapient life that may exist) have free will, the ability to choose.  God is believed to value free will so intensely that He allows it even though many make the choice to do terrible things, so I’ve never been comfortable with determinism, which removes free will from the equation.
    Another interpretation, however, is that omniscience means that God knows every possible outcome, all of the billions of billions of possible futures made by all the interacting choices of billions of sapient individuals.  However, while all the possible results of all our possible choices may be seen, at the critical inflection point, our choices matter.  In other words, it’s not “these horrible things will happen,” but rather “these horrible things may happen, but the choice is yours.”
    Bringing this back to Whore of Heaven, God would know all the outcomes of everyone’s possible choices, including the chain of events based on the choices made (Luzurial’s choice to intervene, her choice to help the survivors, her choice to try to talk to Eparlegna, her choice to try to spare the caged women, his choice to torture her, Shondra and Molly’s choice to serve him, etc.).  All of these things are known ahead of time, but they are not fate; until the choices are made, they are only possible outcomes.
    Or, to put it way more simply, the future is foreseen, but it is not foregone.
    I hope I haven’t annoyed or offended either of you.  I’ve told JayDee about this elsewhere, but I don’t have anything against atheists.  In fact, randomly enough, most of my friends in high school were atheists, and now it’s a fairly even mix.  I don’t think you’re getting in trouble for not believing in God.  Honestly, I think that what really matters is that you live your life trying to do what you genuinely believe to be right.
    Again, no offense was intended, pippychick, and I hope I haven’t irritated you.  I’m not trying to convert anyone; I just wanted to discuss another potential way of looking at the omniscience idea.
  8. Like
    InBrightestDay got a reaction from JayDee in InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread   
    Thank you!   I suppose now is as good a time as any to bring up some of the names of the characters.  Not everyone’s name means something of course, but some of them do.
    Kevin is derived (eventually) from the old Irish name Cóemgein, which starts with the Gaelic word cóem, which means “kind” or “gentle”.  He has some issues, including the odd flash of anger, but he’s very gentle with Luzurial.
    Abdul is kind of a cheat, in that it’s a Pakistani name derived from the Arabic words Abd al, which just mean “servant of the”, but I was kind of going for a reference to the Arabic name Abd Allah, or “servant of God”.  Sirki is a Pakistani name referring to a leather worker, which means it’s kind of the equivalent of “Tanner” or something.
    Chloe is an English name meaning “green shoot” in Greek.  ‘Cause, you know...she’s new.  Liu is a Chinese surname meaning “kill” or “destroy”, which sounds pretty bad, but it fits her role on what is basically a preternatural SWAT team.
    Luzurial, according to JayDee, is derived from the Spanish luz, meaning light, as well as a deliberately misspelled version of the Archangel Uriel’s name.  It’s good that it’s misspelled, since Uriel translates from the Hebrew as “light of God” (or possibly “God is my light”), so Luzuriel would be kind of redundant.
    Well, she’s far more resilient than a human would be, and she’s definitely doing amazingly well considering what she’s been through, but there will be issues, which will become rather obvious in Part Three.
    I should note that she’s healing far more slowly than she used to.  I tried to base as much of The Woman in the Statue as possible on what we saw in Whore of Heaven, and one of the things I noticed was that Luzurial’s healing, along things like her durability and strength, are affected by her mental and emotional state.  There’s a baseline, of course (she doesn’t just stop healing at any point), but given her trauma, what would in the past have healed in less than a minute instead takes hours.  Obviously, as she gets better, that will accelerate.
    That also owes its genesis to Whore of Heaven, where it’s mentioned that humanity went forth with new knowledge of and defenses against, but also new dealings with, the forces of Hell, so I figured some criminals might attempt to make deals with demons, and a branch of law enforcement would arise to deal with that.
    There’s actually a deleted scene (as in I literally wrote it and then deleted it because I didn’t think it was necessary) in Part Eight where Luzurial is part of a briefing and a National Guard soldier pulls a “And where were you for the last seventy five years?” at which point Chloe tells him exactly where Luzurial was for the last 75 years.  Cue guilt trip.
    Chloe: Listen, Major Dumbass…
    Major: It’s “Dumas.”
    Chloe: Not right now it isn’t.
    Well thank you so much for the review!  I basically wrote this to help me feel better after reading Whore of Heaven all those years ago (JayDee can tell you all about it, but I tend to call this story “my little therapy project”), and I had no idea how it would go over here, so thank you for the support!
  9. Like
    InBrightestDay got a reaction from JayDee in InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread   
    Uh...yes!  Yes, that was the plan all along!  It was totally me saving it for a future chapter, and not a good idea I’m going to steal now and put into a future chapter!  Just kidding; I’ll definitely give you credit for that.
    Obviously, Kevin and Luzurial are the story’s Official Couple, and I wanted that to feel like the relationship had actually developed over time.  Part Six here is one place where that definitely comes to the fore.  They’ll be spending a few days at the motel in the next chapter, and as one might expect, things will progress further.
    Thanks!  Abdul and Calista definitely did some MacGyvering to defeat the Charnel Spider, and I was worried that Kevin just baiting the Wrath creature into killing itself would be kind of an anticlimax, but as you said, it does take into account that since the creature is all mindless rage, it should be fairly easy to trick.
     I hadn’t thought of that specifically, but there was definitely supposed to be some comedy to the elevator bit, what with everyone but Luzurial pushing the Down button and the doors just refusing to close.  And yeah, it would have been really funny if Eparlegna had managed to get into the shaft and cut the cable...only to discover that things have changed a little in the last three quarters of a century.
  10. Like
    InBrightestDay reacted to InvidiaRed in InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread   
    The road back starts when you realize what your mind is telling you and what everyone else telling you are so different that they cannot be reconciled. Kevin in a sense sees her in a manner similar to that of her creator. Its really a profound moment when she sees what she had allowed herself to forget. That a human of all things helped plant her feet on the road back. 
    An interesting note on Wrath. Eparlegna is saying without meaning to is that Kevin is scared. Because at the root of lashing out is panic and anxiety and primal fear. A potent flammable cocktail so easy to set a flame.
    Well to be fair. Dead Space 3 had nowhere else it could go. Brethern moons harvesting earth and all. It wasn’t like it there would be some last second rescue. Issac got tentacled in the end. lol.
     
     
     
  11. Like
    InBrightestDay reacted to JayDee in InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread   
    See? SEE? I fucking stand by that. Part 6 is great!
    First comes the hurt, then comes the comfort. It really fuckin’ works. 
    And it’s a great damn image you have here. Taking a kind a half-assed Whore of Heaven concept and really making it work!
    I probably still have had more in to set the scene. I mean, I dunno her most badass moment is probably taking so many lashes before she starts screaming. Here and in the last part, she comes across as a proper badass.
    I don’t really remember, but it’s a story about an X-Wing pilot being tortured and killed by a haunted spaceship. There’s wires getting into eyesockets. It’s just grimdark edginess really, but I was doing my best to write something Deathstalker would enjoy… I may even have succeeded. Was a long time ago. Unfortunately the review in question asking if I felt gross was back before I responded to ‘em on the forums so I can’t look back at what I thought at the time.
    He’s a nice dude!
    Oh, yeah. I sometimes forget some of the tropes. There’s a trope for that too, I expect. Cheerfully corrected! I’m glad it stayed in, I think it worked!
    This kind of “What a total bastardry” at least will make it even more satisfying when they do beat his ass.
    He put himself between Eparlegna and her. He’s special alright :p I kid! I kid! I’ve said it’s a great ending already and I stick by it.
    Fucking awesome!
  12. Like
    InBrightestDay reacted to pippychick in JayDee's (Originals) review reply, story discussion and additional notes thread   
    The best villains are this way. Though it’s not always easy to write them. You did a great job.
    Of course I fancy seeing it! The greatest thing about fiction and fanfiction is that there’s always a different path to go down, and we can look at them all, and ooh and ahh at different interpretations and fresh angles.
    Yesss… I’ve been told that before. Unfortunately, when I was made someone forgot to adjust the optimism, or, you know, include it at all.
    lol… I find writing harsh things like this does take a toll. It’s hard work, and it’s largely thankless. But you can only write the horror properly if you feel it, just like anything else.
    (smirks) To be fair, she’s probably not right wing enough…
    Ha, that would be interesting. For what it’s worth, it’s a bit more violent, more pornographic, and is sprinkled with a liberal amount of swearing (courtesy of Clegane).
    Thanks. Honestly, it feels great to settle back down. Your midwife story was the first thing I went to  
  13. Like
    InBrightestDay reacted to pippychick in JayDee's (Originals) review reply, story discussion and additional notes thread   
    Ahh… that was you! Thank you.   I still need to make time for responding to reviews that have come in while I’ve been somewhat distracted. I will, though!
     
    @InBrightestDay As I said above, the great thing about all of this is that we can speculate, and explore, and I’m awfully curious to see how you’ve saved her, and what her reactions are like to that. How damaged is she? See just thinking and talking about it whets my appetite to read your story
  14. Like
    InBrightestDay reacted to JayDee in JayDee's (Originals) review reply, story discussion and additional notes thread   
    ...D’oh. To be fair, I just do promo’ing, what happens afterwards comes down to the reader! Also, neat review. And the ending might not be what you expect.
    Yeah, but pissing readers off is basically my brand. There’s an old flames thread where I’d copy and paste the flames I got for my godawful Firefly fanfic ‘fore they had to be deleted in line with site rules. I used to get emails urging me to die in a fire. Those were the days.
  15. Like
    InBrightestDay got a reaction from JayDee in JayDee's (Originals) review reply, story discussion and additional notes thread   
    You obviously haven’t checked the reviews page for The Price recently.  I haven’t read the second chapter yet, but I will get around to it at some point.
    and @pippychick, you do not need to read The Woman in the Statue if you don’t want to.  As wonderful as it would be to find out you enjoy it, if you really love how incredibly mean-spirited that original ending is, I don’t want to ruin something you enjoyed (in fact, I actually warned JayDee that by making my story canon, he might piss off people who loved the original ending).  Feel free to pretend WitS doesn’t exist.
  16. Like
    InBrightestDay got a reaction from JayDee in InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread   
    I actually teared up writing “Please touch me.”  I did some research on what rape survivors go through, and something that came up is that often they don’t want to be touched, but that’s not a universal reaction.  I thought it would be pretty emotional if Kevin had read the same thing and was trying to keep a respectful distance, all while what Luzurial really wants is a hug.
    The eyes were my personal favorite part.  In Whore of Heaven you describe the demon’s eyes somehow radiating both red light and darkness.  It took me a while, but I finally managed to visualize that.  I figured it was kind of like old footage of nuclear bomb tests.  In order to actually see the fireball, the aperture on the camera clamps way down when the explosion happens and darkens everything, so instead of the whole screen going white, we see an orange to red fireball that appears to suck the light out of the entire area.  That became my model for how Eparlegna’s eyes worked.
    I mean, have you ever tried walking up stairs backwards?  It’s not easy, especially when you’re distracted by fear.
    Yeah, he knows he shouldn’t, but in the end he just can’t not ask.
    Kevin’s temper is kind of his advantage here.  Eparlegna is terrifying, but as he keeps saying stuff that degrades and insults Luzurial, Kevin’s affection for her prompts anger and it starts to burn through the fear.
    There’s just this running thing about Eparlegna and Lucifer.  Their styles just kind of clash…
    Oh, I knew even when I was writing it that I was not topping the Charnel Spider for sheer creep factor.  Nonetheless, I’m kind of fond of the Wrath creature.  The fact that it basically kills itself is kind of based on the idea of anger very often being self-destructive.
    That line is simultaneously cool and sad to me.  On the one hand, I just like the way it reads, and she just melted aluminum with her bare hands, which is just objectively badass.  On the other hand, it shows that even when she’s enjoying having accomplished something, she still sees herself as broken, as a lesser person after what Eparlegna did to her in the last story.
    Necessitated by the genre I suppose.  The target audience for Whore of Heaven did not come here to see a badass female action hero...you know...being badass.
    I’m curious, did you?  During Flaying Solo, I mean.  I recall you said during Whore of Heaven it was a fairly detached process.
    Kevin avoiding touching Luzurial’s wing stumps actually pops up a few times in the story.  I never explained his thought process on that, but I figure that he doesn’t know if touching them will cause her physical pain, and figures it will likely remind her of her past trauma, so he tries to avoid doing it.
    That’s actually the Punctuated Pounding trope (minds out of the gutter, people), albeit with bullets instead of fisticuffs.  I actually went back and forth about whether to keep that line or not, but in the end, I realized that it didn’t matter whether or not Kevin should say it, because the fact of the matter is that he would say it.
    As for Eparlegna’s mean-spirited “imagine her going back to Heaven looking like this,” bit, that’s a direct callback to your story, where, while anally raping Luzurial, he asks her to imagine standing before God and telling Him what she “let” Eparlegna do to her.  It’s just another little bit of his sadism, shaming her for something that’s not her fault.
    Fun fact, before I actually sent you the first draft, in my very first concept for the chapter, he was actually going to chase the group out of the building and they’d have to escape by driving into a tunnel.  It would even have had a funny little moment with Chloe Liu talking to other PPD agents (“You lost it?  How did you lose an eighteen meter dragon!?”), but I also realized that it would have started the endgame too early, and wouldn’t have allowed the breather that Part Seven provides.
    The car scene was originally planned to be from Kevin’s point of view, and then I realized how much better it would work from Luzurial’s, specifically if I implemented the mind reading ability as a way for her to see the truth.  It’s definitely a big step in their developing relationship, since he’s now seen her at her lowest point and, unlike what past experience has taught her to (wrongly) expect, it doesn’t change his opinion of her at all.  It’s where the terminology changes a bit too, and Kevin picks up the designation of “her special mortal.”
  17. Like
    InBrightestDay got a reaction from JayDee in InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread   
    I don’t know if I said this last time, and I know it’s been years and all, but for whatever this is worth, I am so sorry for what you went through.  No one deserves that.
    I am glad that I managed to be somewhat accurate with Luzurial’s reaction, though, and that is exactly what Eparlegna wants: for her to feel worthless.  It’s one of the reasons I wrote the car scene the way I did.  It’s actually a reflection of, or an answer to, the dialogue just before the final rape in Whore of Heaven; I even mirrored some of the wordplay deliberately.  In that scene, Eparlegna tells her that she is a whore and he is her master, and that a whore is all she has ever been and all she will ever be.  Here, well, Kevin gets to tell her what she needs to hear, and what he knows is true: that she is not a whore; that she is something beautiful and amazing, and that nothing Eparlegna does to her can ever take that away.
    Thanks!  I’m not entirely sure where the idea for the Wrath construct came from.  I just suddenly had the idea for an eyeless, skinned polar bear-type thing.  Of course, I also threw in a Megatherium-style body for the giant claws and the tail.
    It seemed appropriate.  The Charnel Spider is wearing human body parts rather than being made of them, but it certainly has the look of a Necromorph.
    As for the series, I personally enjoyed Dead Space 3, though definitely more as an action game than as a horror one.  I definitely understand why a lot of people didn’t like it, though.
  18. Haha
    InBrightestDay reacted to JayDee in The Woman in the Statue   
    See if you can get some soft drink/soda pop sponsorship, so next monday you just need to post:
    “7 Up!”
     
  19. Like
    InBrightestDay got a reaction from JayDee in The Woman in the Statue   
    I should have remembered to mention this three hours ago, but Part Six is up!
  20. Like
    InBrightestDay reacted to Thundercloud in Thundercloud's Review Responses   
    No problem. If you want the fix the issue you can copy the text, remove the review and then repost with the spoiler tag in the right place.

    I did earlier with one of my reviews of your work when the interface misbehaved and posted my not really finished line about secondrate buffy villains. I just removed and reposted with the more proper explanation of my thought but JayDee did ninja me and saw the review before I removed it.
  21. Like
    InBrightestDay reacted to Tcr in TCR's Review Response Thread   
    For that, I will definitely take your word for it.
    Lol.  Kind of, but the idea I had was just that Adata had been there walking by and was like "Wtf?" upon seeing the Stellar Navy guy backtrack.
  22. Like
    InBrightestDay reacted to Tcr in TCR's Review Response Thread   
    YAY!  Another review from @InBrightestDay.  It's always a pleasure, just like with SinfulWolf on Hunted, to read your reviews, InBrightestDay.
    From InBrightestDay on February 23, 2019
     
    Chapter 7
    Sorry I didn't review this before Chapter 8 came out.  I was kind of depressed for a while and didn't have a lot of motivation to write reviews, so now I'm playing catchup.
    Well, this was short but definitely enjoyable.  I don't know if it had been established before that Celeste had a problem with compulsive sexual behavior, but that's definitely another layer of sad on top of everything else that's happened to her (five times a day seems like a problem rather than a healthy sex drive).  I can't decide whether Adara helping her is sweet or sad, given their baggage.
    On the funnier side, apparently Celeste found the busiest closet in history.  I mean, seriously, what were the odds of that?
    ***
    Sorry I didn't review this before Chapter 8 came out.  I was kind of depressed for a while and didn't have a lot of motivation to write reviews, so now I'm playing catchup.
    Firstly, you don't have to apologize.  Taking care of yourself is a lot more important than reviews.  As much as reviews are nice, it's better knowing that you're doing good.  Secondly, it's kind of my fault; I pushed 8 in a little early because work schedule bizarre this week.
    Well, this was short but definitely enjoyable.  I don't know if it had been established before that Celeste had a problem with compulsive sexual behavior, but that's definitely another layer of sad on top of everything else that's happened to her (five times a day seems like a problem rather than a healthy sex drive).  I can't decide whether Adara helping her is sweet or sad, given their baggage.
    I'm glad you enjoyed it.  I don't believe I made it explicit in Chapter 1 or 2 and this was much of an afterthought, as I had already written Chapter 7 (now 8) and someone reading it pointed out that it just seemed the first solo was out of nowhere.  So this was kind of to remedy that and explore a little.  And yeah, 5 might be pushing it, but I read that occasionally, people have gone for upwards seven...  And yeah, Adara is fun to write because she's more a gray area than anything.
    On the funnier side, apparently Celeste found the busiest closet in history.  I mean, seriously, what were the odds of that?
    I will not argue that.  She got the worst closet ever.  Originally it was only going to be one who found her (one of the Marines), but I could think of a good reason for them to find her or who would...  So I wrote the Stellar Navy guy in and had hoped the implication was that Adara saw him and had to investigate.  Lol.
    But thank you, InBrightestDay.  I'm always glad to read your reviews.  I sincerely hope that the depression is vanquished as well as you can.  
  23. Like
    InBrightestDay reacted to Thundercloud in Thundercloud's Review Responses   
    I should probably not answer how many demon summoning individuals there are in the story.
    By the way...it would be nice if you consider to start some of your reviews with the spoiler tag. I don’t mind it very much, but for a new reader wondering if they should read the story and checking the reviews they might want a warning that the review reveal a large plot point. I do the same mistake myself quite often, hopefully it is for minor things but in this case I think the spoiler tag is called for.
    I don’t recall if I thought about the double joke when I wrote it,  but I certainly get it now. The whole exchange is meant to be funny so good that you laughed.
    Actually I think you mean Clark’s Third law and not his First law. The first law is the one about the scientist if I recall correctly. If think the twist is possible to guess at the start of the story when we learn that the aliens dissolve into nothing when defeated, but it is kind of subtle in the middle of the action.
    Great catch. I will fix it. Thanks for the assistance.
  24. Like
    InBrightestDay reacted to JayDee in InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread   
    Everything I’ve read up until the end of part 8 in draft form is AWESOME. So I think he pulls the next parts off, but I guess I’m biased
  25. Like
    InBrightestDay reacted to Thundercloud in InBrightestDay's (Originals) Review Reply & Discussion Thread   
    I think one of the appeals with your writing this sequel is that you care so much about the characters. This heroic chapter is certainly setting things up for having the upcoming defeat really mean something for the reader. If you pull it off is of course not given, but I am really looking forward to it.
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