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Tcr

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Everything posted by Tcr

  1. For that, I will definitely take your word for it. Lol. Kind of, but the idea I had was just that Adata had been there walking by and was like "Wtf?" upon seeing the Stellar Navy guy backtrack.
  2. YAY! Another review from @InBrightestDay. It's always a pleasure, just like with SinfulWolf on Hunted, to read your reviews, InBrightestDay. From InBrightestDay on February 23, 2019 Chapter 7 Sorry I didn't review this before Chapter 8 came out. I was kind of depressed for a while and didn't have a lot of motivation to write reviews, so now I'm playing catchup. Well, this was short but definitely enjoyable. I don't know if it had been established before that Celeste had a problem with compulsive sexual behavior, but that's definitely another layer of sad on top of everything else that's happened to her (five times a day seems like a problem rather than a healthy sex drive). I can't decide whether Adara helping her is sweet or sad, given their baggage. On the funnier side, apparently Celeste found the busiest closet in history. I mean, seriously, what were the odds of that? *** Sorry I didn't review this before Chapter 8 came out. I was kind of depressed for a while and didn't have a lot of motivation to write reviews, so now I'm playing catchup. Firstly, you don't have to apologize. Taking care of yourself is a lot more important than reviews. As much as reviews are nice, it's better knowing that you're doing good. Secondly, it's kind of my fault; I pushed 8 in a little early because work schedule bizarre this week. Well, this was short but definitely enjoyable. I don't know if it had been established before that Celeste had a problem with compulsive sexual behavior, but that's definitely another layer of sad on top of everything else that's happened to her (five times a day seems like a problem rather than a healthy sex drive). I can't decide whether Adara helping her is sweet or sad, given their baggage. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I don't believe I made it explicit in Chapter 1 or 2 and this was much of an afterthought, as I had already written Chapter 7 (now 8) and someone reading it pointed out that it just seemed the first solo was out of nowhere. So this was kind of to remedy that and explore a little. And yeah, 5 might be pushing it, but I read that occasionally, people have gone for upwards seven... And yeah, Adara is fun to write because she's more a gray area than anything. On the funnier side, apparently Celeste found the busiest closet in history. I mean, seriously, what were the odds of that? I will not argue that. She got the worst closet ever. Originally it was only going to be one who found her (one of the Marines), but I could think of a good reason for them to find her or who would... So I wrote the Stellar Navy guy in and had hoped the implication was that Adara saw him and had to investigate. Lol. But thank you, InBrightestDay. I'm always glad to read your reviews. I sincerely hope that the depression is vanquished as well as you can.
  3. Whoo...  woo hoo!  Woo!  2600 views on Hunted!  YAY!!!

    1. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      :yahoo:It is much deserved. Well written and lovely.

    2. Tcr

      Tcr

      Thank you so much, InvidiaRed! :)

  4. Chapter 8 (Nothing Short of Hell and Nightmares) is posted. Woo!
  5. Well...  That poor guardian angel just retired...  That's a good seven I've gone through…

    Hit an ice patch, slid into the concrete barrier...  Managed to steer away from a full head on, but sheared off a third of the bumper and the front passenger quarter panel...

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. CloverReef

      CloverReef

      I’m beginning to think you and winter just don’t get along. Jesus Christ, stop almost dying dude. 

    3. Tcr

      Tcr

      @JayDee: Yeah.  Didn't like the slow motion as the nose went for the concrete...  Worst part: snow pile to the left, to the right...  but I managed to get the one section with clear concrete…

      @CloverReef: Probably should...  I'm running out of angels...  I'm pretty sure they're just drafting them now...  Maybe I should stop wintering...  I hear California is nice this time of year...  lol.

    4. InvidiaRed

      InvidiaRed

      There’s definitely support group up there. I owe them some serious drinks.

      I mean three years ago just bought a car didn’t even make it home cause a roadside assistance truck California stopped a stop sign and smashed the driver's side totaling it(In hindsight, I should have sued. But hindsight has always been 20/20)

      I know mine was wearing black and yellow pajamas cause I was the only one who saw her. Or maybe it was the trauma from kissing the steering wheel. One of the two. Haha.

      The Midwest quite beautiful this time of year. Snowbird syndrome is pretty common here. @Tcr rest assured your angels aren’t the only ones in need of therapy. 

  6. Chapter 7 (Fuck Yourself) is posted... A little bit of a side trip before all Hell breaks loose.
  7. Chapter 21 (Nine Hundred Years is a Long Time to Hold a Grudge) is posted.
  8. And to finally catch up on reviews... One from a long way back... Not sure why I didn't get back... RL and forgetful me? But, from @CloverReef on my only fanfic… From PlagueClover on November 14, 2017 Hi! It's me again... I love this story and I love that you're finally writing fan fiction! Yay! Taka's an interesting character - I'm assuming she's your main here. Maybe she isn't. I find her alienness fascinating. I think my favourite part so far were all the little quirks and gestures you showed with her thingies. I saw tort and for some reason, my brain went to tentacles. Just so you know. I'm expecting tentacles now. They don't have to be violating school girls. They can just be, you know, chillin'. Well... First, apologies for taking so long... second... I know you're not a Trekkie (nerd alert incoming...) but yes, Taka is the MC and I can't, unfortunately, take all the credit for her antennae movements. As an Andorian (my personal favourite race...), it was established that the antennae do move. That said, a lot of the inference and implied movements (at least as described) come from my thoughts. I have heard that the post-series books expand on things, but I stopped a long time ago with them... The quirks and gestures are definitely a fun side to write, too... Helps with the non-verbal subtlety… And there's definitely torture incoming... But there might be some tentacles... They are in a very different area of space with different species... (Dont get me started on the space traveling dinosaurs evolved from hadrosaurs...) So a tentacle or two wouldn't be surprising… But thank you for your review. And again, apologies for taking forever and a year.
  9. And another from @Sinfulwolfon Hunted (and again, gotta go back in time for this one...) From SinfulWolf on December 26, 2018 Getting some sympathetic Guards folk in there. Like to see some variance. Though, is it a fact that they think the Cpl incapable of leading because of scars, or does she believe that? Seems a bit odd for such a military like organization. Though, again with the seemingly experienced getting easily snuck up on. It's happening a lot in this story, is why I'm bringing it up again. Though, your introduction to the Elite is pretty damned good. Just enough creepiness, and unease. Getting some sympathetic Guards folk in there. Like to see some variance. Though, is it a fact that they think the Cpl incapable of leading because of scars, or does she believe that? Seems a bit odd for such a military like organization. Though, again with the seemingly experienced getting easily snuck up on. It's happening a lot in this story, is why I'm bringing it up again. I’m glad you liked the character of Corporal Stamper. I took a little of your advice from our discussions, especially regarding the idea of how the Guards are not really… I can’t remember how you worded it, but basically how they were closer to a cult sort of idea… And that was never the intention to present, especially from the outset (with the dissension in the ranks there that ultimately led to Idun being turned)… So, in came the character of Stamper (and she’ll be back in a later chapter). As for whether she believes it or everyone else believes it, that’s a question I left up to the reader. I wanted it to be a little ambiguous so that there wasn’t one distinct answer (and to allow everyone a chance to put their own twist in there based on how they read the Guard up until that point). And apparently there’s a lot I’m doing wrong here, amidst a lot going right, so that’s a balance… lol. You have a point, again, about the sneaking up. And that’s great news to me (about the Elite). I wanted them to be as creepy and uneasy as possible. And the reveal that comes up in the next chapter, and consequent chapters to come, I hope will only add to their creepy factor.
  10. Okay, let’s go backwards in time and answer off @Sinfulwolf for her (highly appreciated and very belatedly replied (on my part)) reviews on Hunted. From SinfulWolf on August 09, 2018 First... you fuckin tease. That opening bit was a damn tease, and you know it But, your action scenes are getting better. It was much easier to follow this time around. Which is good considering there is a fair bit of action in this story. So well done! Though, I may suggest laying off on having your vamps get injured so much. They get all sorts of messed up, then recover with a quick sip. It's been happening often enough that I feel I should bring this up, because there doesn't seem to be much of a threat to the vampires, and it's making me question how anyone ever hunted them. Something to keep in mind. The developing relationship so far though has been quite well written, and I'm looking forward to a few chapters of quiet to see how it will develop. Though... I think at least one more chapter of very loud before that happens. Thanks for sharing with us all, and looking forward to the next outing. First... you fuckin tease. That opening bit was a damn tease, and you know it I believe this was the chapter that I had Cheyenne almost admit her love… (sorry it’s been so long ...) Can’t say it didn’t work, though, you kept reading and coming back to see, . But, yes, I am a ‘fuckin tease’ and quite proud of it. lol. But, your action scenes are getting better. It was much easier to follow this time around. Which is good considering there is a fair bit of action in this story. So well done! Though, I may suggest laying off on having your vamps get injured so much. They get all sorts of messed up, then recover with a quick sip. It's been happening often enough that I feel I should bring this up, because there doesn't seem to be much of a threat to the vampires, and it's making me question how anyone ever hunted them. Something to keep in mind. Well, thank you. I do try to take advice and work with it, although I’m sure my beta would argue that (and I wouldn’t disagree with her, either). And, yes, there is quite a bit of action around, and I do agree, perhaps I should have them a little less wounded. As for how the vampires were hunted, I had hoped that the idea presented where the Guard hunted in groups of varying sizes (the age old “safety in numbers”), would have explained some of that, you do have a point about the injuries and sucking someone dry gets them completely healed. The developing relationship so far though has been quite well written, and I'm looking forward to a few chapters of quiet to see how it will develop. Though... I think at least one more chapter of very loud before that happens. I’m glad you liked the relationship aspect. I’m not much of a romance writer (...read that as none… lol) and trying to get the relationship dynamic to work was a hard enough sell on its own, but the first polyamorous relationship I’ve written weighed very heavily on my mind. I certainly didn’t want it to be so off that it was laughably bad… And considering my romantic writing, that was a very likely possibility. Hopefully the relationship between the three women continues to be well done.
  11. Another review from @InBrightestDay. It’s always a pleasure to read your reviews of Last Full Measure and hope I continue to keep you entertained with each chapter as much as I enjoy writing them up. From InBrightestDay on February 12, 2019 And the awkwardness begins. At the very least, the interactions between Sam and Tirsa are less adversarial than those between Celeste and Adara. This makes sense, of course, given that Sam wasn't cheating; she just didn't want to be in a long distance relationship. That thought is also amusing, since when you say "long distance relationship," you're generally talking about something measured in miles or kilometers, not light-years. Something I've noticed about the interactions between the crew is that it seems like most of them speak at least three languages, which is neat, since it's something else that suggests aspects of the setting. Given that it's a globally integrated military, perhaps they feature language training as part of basic, or maybe it's not so much a military thing as a general education idea. Either way, it helps get across that there's a lot more international exchange. All the rookies also seem very excited to see combat. I sense this will not end well. Finally, as a sci-fi fan, I love that you mentioned kinetic bombardment using Jerry Pournelle's Project Thor term. The basic idea is gaining more traction in popular culture, but it's rare enough that it's still kind of cool every time it pops up. Just because I’m feeling weird, I’m going to address the last section first… lol. Finally, as a sci-fi fan, I love that you mentioned kinetic bombardment using Jerry Pournelle's Project Thor term. The basic idea is gaining more traction in popular culture, but it's rare enough that it's still kind of cool every time it pops up. I wasn’t sure anyone would have the idea of what the Project Thor reference (or, as some people may know it, the Rods from God reference) actually was. I, personally, love the idea and, while I haven’t used it in many of my writing here, I have referenced them in one of my other works not set up here. It’s one of those things that is ‘present’ in reality (even just hypothetically or otherwise) that sounds so sci-fi that some people wouldn’t believe it. It’s much like the railguns referenced in Chapter 5 as being part of the Greyeyes’ complement of weapons. (Speaking of which, historical fun fact… The Greyeyes and the Pegahmagabow-class are named after historical figures… Because… History fanatic!...) And the awkwardness begins. At the very least, the interactions between Sam and Tirsa are less adversarial than those between Celeste and Adara. This makes sense, of course, given that Sam wasn't cheating; she just didn't want to be in a long distance relationship. That thought is also amusing, since when you say "long distance relationship," you're generally talking about something measured in miles or kilometers, not light-years. The awkwardness definitely begins… and will continue… I wanted the Sam/Tirsa relationship to be a foil to that of Celeste/Adara. And I certainly wanted to show that Tirsa’s relationship didn’t fall apart (although it was far from mutual with regards to the break-up). And, yes, that was a bit of a hilarity in itself and one that I hoped would have some humour to it. Like you said, ‘long distance relationship’ is usually thought of in miles/kilometers (occasionally, I’ve heard people reference it in terms of hours), but the idea of it being in light years, I got a laugh when I first wrote it in and hoped it translated to other readers. Something I've noticed about the interactions between the crew is that it seems like most of them speak at least three languages, which is neat, since it's something else that suggests aspects of the setting. Given that it's a globally integrated military, perhaps they feature language training as part of basic, or maybe it's not so much a military thing as a general education idea. Either way, it helps get across that there's a lot more international exchange. The idea of having other languages involved worried me. I had previously posted a topic on the Forums regarding other languages (last year sometime) and it seemed the common consensus was that most people preferred not to have them (or so it read to me) and I was worried it would be a similar response on here. But, as you said (“suggests aspects of the setting”), to me it provides that multinational force present a little more weight to it and, without excessive prose worldbuilding, gives that build in just the language. Many of them, though, I think I only have speaking two languages (English and a ‘mother’ tongue). And I am personally grateful to those who have helped ( @sweetmamajama, @Windrider Shiva, Yaoichi (Tocuatl)), more so than words can say. Without their help, the world of Last Full Measure would be similar to many other movies and books (that is, everyone speaks English because… Hooray, USA?). That wasn’t something I wanted to happen, I still wanted people speaking their own mother tongues far into the future. Indeed, with PFC Nakanasa’s Cree, I wanted the implication to be that Reconciliation had come to fruition and the attempted cultural genocide from the Canadian government through the residential schools had failed, that Indigenous peoples had reclaimed their cultures and languages. All the rookies also seem very excited to see combat. I sense this will not end well. Oh, yeah. Many of those who haven’t seen combat before really want to. But, as I mentioned prior in the story, there’s not many of them who truly have seen it (even the officers) and those who have are highly sought after (or so I hoped was implied). And those that aren’t ‘bloodied’ (haven’t seen combat) are heavily excited at the prospect of being ‘heroes’, although that’s not going to be used. It’s supposed to parallel the feelings of World War I (in that it’s some great mission with a heroic tale they’ll be able to tell people)… And no, nothing ends well in that regard. But the real question, who survives and who doesn’t? Thank you for your review, as always. I appreciate it and it’s always a pleasure to read yours. I’m glad to hear you’re enjoying it and that you continue to return (so I must be doing something right! YAY!). On a side note, InBrightestDay, and with a shameless plug (I regret nothing), I do have some sketches (bad ones, I think, but still...) of characters within LFM if you want to see some ideas of what they might look like (according to my thoughts).
  12. Chapter 6 (Resident Unit Incest) is posted. Enjoy.
  13. Reference or not, my head canon now says Felrya's vacation spot is with Illyria. Lol. You succeed quite well. And it was quite intriguing to see the plays they both make through the story, which makes it all the more interesting during the sex. Like you said, bot evenly matched. And you mean people don't want to read fifteen pages describing the dress? Well, shit... lol. A great read, Sinful. Look forward to continuing to read more. (I'm very surprised it hasn't recieved more reviews.
  14. Well, put the first of the LFM sketches up…  Almost forgot the feeling of apprehension that accompanied that post button...

    1. CloverReef

      CloverReef

      Putting yourself out there is usually nerve wracking. Kudos.

    2. Tcr

      Tcr

      Thanks, CR! :D .

    3. Sinfulwolf

      Sinfulwolf

      Also good to push through the nerves.

  15. Another review... These shelves are shining lately... <looks at review shelves; eyes boil from sockets> So shiny! First, something I forgot to do, a shout out @Sinfulwolf. Sinful's been very helpful in terms and statements, not to mention actions and structure, throughout Last Full Measure. So, I thank you greatly and appreciate your help and continued assistance with terminology far more than I can say. Second, another from @InBrightestDay on Last Full Measure. From InBrightestDay on February 06, 2019 Aaand I'm back! So we learn a lot in this chapter. First, with Sam's arrival, that everyone's exes will be in this squad for maximum awkwardness. Second... I need to watch Aliens again sometime. Third, we start to see what's going on in Alpha Centauri, although thus far it's only teasing glimpses. Nonetheless, I liked seeing it. We have our characters, so now we get a hint of the coming story. Finally, we learn some more about whatever happened on Mars. It sounds like it's Celeste's fault (she stayed on duty in spite of her pregnancy, which may have led to the death of the unborn child during the attack), but Adara clearly blames herself for part of it, and I'm curious to learn what that is. Adara's actually somewhat more sympathetic in this chapter. This doesn't undo her infidelity, but it does hint at a level of depth to the character. The introduction of Major Hamilton did raise a question. Thus far, every member of this squad that we've met has been female, save for Hamilton, who is in command. In an earlier chapter, Celeste mentioned that back on Mars, her commanding officer was also a man. Is the military in this setting set up so that the enlisted are all female and the officers are male, or is this team just set up that way? Aaand I'm back! So we learn a lot in this chapter. First, with Sam's arrival, that everyone's exes will be in this squad for maximum awkwardness. First, welcome back. Ah, yes, the resident unit incest (thanks, Sinful, not getting that term out of my head now... lol). There are plenty of threads here and I don't know if they'll all be covered, but... As it progresses, there'll certainly be some awkwardness coming. Second... I need to watch Aliens again sometime. Do it! Lol. As mentioned, there's definitely a few homages and lines from Aliens in here. I love the movie and just had to. And that line from the movie always got me to snicker. Lol. Third, we start to see what's going on in Alpha Centauri, although thus far it's only teasing glimpses. Nonetheless, I liked seeing it. We have our characters, so now we get a hint of the coming story. I wasn't sure how well the distress call would work, so I'm glad you liked it. I definitely love building up the suspense and a little bit of unnerving. Not seeing what's going on was part of that plan and definite don't want people to know too much. Lol. Finally, we learn some more about whatever happened on Mars. It sounds like it's Celeste's fault (she stayed on duty in spite of her pregnancy, which may have led to the death of the unborn child during the attack), but Adara clearly blames herself for part of it, and I'm curious to learn what that is. Adara's actually somewhat more sympathetic in this chapter. This doesn't undo her infidelity, but it does hint at a level of depth to the character. By far, there's enough blame to go around multiple people for Celeste's miscarriage. So, the blame isn't squarely hers, though she bears a large part of it. I actually rewrote much of the last part of the chapter so to create a depth to Adara. She's not a great person, and she admits it, but she does harbour a lot of guilt for multiple things; her cheating on Celeste (And everyone can have their own opinions on whether Adara did cheat on Celeste with Alexander or if she was telling the truth), her leaving Celeste, and the miscarriage (although the reasons for that will come out as time goes along). I'm glad my rewrites did add some character to Adara that doesn't make her just a bitch… The introduction of Major Hamilton did raise a question. Thus far, every member of this squad that we've met has been female, save for Hamilton, who is in command. In an earlier chapter, Celeste mentioned that back on Mars, her commanding officer was also a man. Is the military in this setting set up so that the enlisted are all female and the officers are male, or is this team just set up that way? This is probably a fault of the author (...which makes it my fault...)... That wasn't the intention to have that implied. (Originally Adara's LT was Alexandra, but I realized that that was flooding the story...). Indeed, there are a few minor characters to be introed in who are male and enlisted/noncoms, so I guess I should have elaborated a little more in that regard. (And, yeah, her COs on Mars... They weren't the brightest... To quote @BronxWench in reviews for Christmas "I found myself wondering exactly who the Captain and Lieutenant paid off to get their positions, because they certainly didn't end up in command based on merit."). Thank you, InBrightestDay, for your review. As always, it is much appreciated and always a pleasure to receive.
  16. Been debating about posting some of the sketches I've done for some of my characters...  Not sure, though...

  17. Chapter 5 (Problems) posted. Hopefully everyone is enjoying it so far. And, as always, concrit and (any) comments are welcome and greatly appreciated.
  18. Perhaps. I like to think that I do a good job in showing a differentiation between contemporary common knowledge and otherwise, perhaps a little megalomaniacally... Although, that being said, I also like getting people to expand their knowledge base, too (do I sound like a teacher? Lol). In the long run, if my writing teaches or gets someone to look up and learn something new, I'm glad to hear it. Sounding a little... holier than thou, aren't I? Definitely not my intention.
  19. YAY! Lol. I'm glad to hear that. A teacher years ago once told me that good science fiction relied on the characters to tell the story, that the characters are the main focus and the setting is merely icing. While I don't follow that principle entirely, I do tend to focus and develop characters more. My apologies for making you feel old. I'm also early thirties, and occasionally I feel like I'm so out of date that I'm in the stone age with people talking. And honestly, I wouldn't feel stupid. I doubt a lot of people know unless they A) are themselves, B) know someone who is or who knows someone, or C) are interested. (I'm assuming there's a lot of tomatoes flying now...) That was part of the reason I tried to include the description of it in there, although it does feel a little stiff, I admit. Again, I hope I did justice to people. And it was supposed to be a conversation of just normal every day thing there in order to portray the idea that sexuality in the time of Last Full Measure is immaterial in that no one cares who's sleeping with who. Perhaps I should have explained a little more. That is definitely a fault of the author.
  20. YAY! Another review from InBrightestDay on Last Full Measure! Dare I say it... I think I have... a fan... . Lol. From InBrightestDay on January 31, 2019 Sorry it took me a few days to get to this, but I'm back! So, we've learned a little bit more about how these two are connected via the Mars battle, and moreso about their personal similarities. Both of them have had relationships that didn't end well, though Tirsa's ex seems a lot nicer than Celeste's. I'm guessing the breakup with her ex is why Tirsa has trouble forming the emotional bonds she needs for any kind of intimate relationship. Sorry I don't have too much to say about this chapter, but it was pretty short, just a nice little character moment between these two. I'll be back for the next chapter! Sorry it took me a few days to get to this, but I'm back! First off, never need to apologize. It's always a pleasure to receive any reviews from people. But it is good that you're back. So, we've learned a little bit more about how these two are connected via the Mars battle, and moreso about their personal similarities. Both of them have had relationships that didn't end well, though Tirsa's ex seems a lot nicer than Celeste's. I'm guessing the breakup with her ex is why Tirsa has trouble forming the emotional bonds she needs for any kind of intimate relationship. As I mentioned, the story of Last Full Measure was written before "Christmas, Bloody Christmas", and I've had to go back and alter some minor things to bring it in line, but the idea of their connected past and present was one thing that was always the same. I never went into great detail in the short during the Battle of Fort Overraker, centering on Celeste and the lead up to her becoming how she is in this one, which meant that Tirsa's role in the Battle is never established in the short and, thus, connected through the novel. (I'm rambling, aren't I?) As for Tirsa... In her case, as I've tried to portray her (and hopefully I've done justice to those who identify) as demisexual. It is that which is more the reason for her lack of emotional attachment. I have been told it's a personal basis on what constitutes the necessary connection to have the attachment, so I may have it be a bit if a factor. (I really ramble... And I'm sure someone's going to let me know exactly how wrong I am...) Sorry I don't have too much to say about this chapter, but it was pretty short, just a nice little character moment between these two. I'll be back for the next chapter! Again, never need to apologize. Any review is always beneficial. Even if I'm rambling... again. It definitely was a short chapter, little character building scene, little work building in terms of Mars, and some, hopefully, heartfelt moments to be carried on through the story. And I'm glad to hear it, @InBrightestDay, I'll try not to disappoint (and, just to sweeten the pot, some smaller introductions to a few of the other squadmates and Adara comes back in the next chapter).
  21. Tcr

    Hunted

    Chapter 30 (Battle in Seattle) now posted. Hope everyone is enjoying Hunted
  22. I'm glad you reviewed Hunted, as, I admit, I probably wouldn't have found you if you hadn't. But... Blood and Lace is definitely a well written and multilayered story with facets not always apparent in first reading, only when digging a little deeper, reading deeper. And I am most definitely enjoying it and look forward to reading more into the world you've created. Keep it up
  23. Chapter 4 (Deceptive Appearances) is posted. Not sure if I'll get a chance to post over the next few weeks so, enjoy
  24. I don't think I've had this many reviews in a long, long, long time... The shelves are definitely getting a good wax for shine... Another from @InBrightestDayon Last Full Measure. From InBrightestDay on January 27, 2019 Chapter 3 It's nice to get to meet more of the characters, Tirsa in this case. I see what you meant when you said you didn't want her to apear too interested in Celeste, given that we learn here that she has issues forming successful relationships with anybody. I also wonder how truthful she was being with Ingvild about Mars. She says she has nightmares, but she also mentioned earlier in the chapter that she had never felt more alive than when she was in combat. These two things aren't necessarily contradictory, but it provides an intriguing ambiguity about the character. Finally, we learn that, assuming I'm understanding the ranking system correctly, Celeste's ex is now going to be her commanding officer. That's...going to suck. We also learn some kind of unsettling stuff about the Rebels, like how they don't do the whole "prisoner" thing. It makes me wonder about the nature of the conflict and how we got to this state between the two sides. At any rate, I'm interested in seeing what happens when they finally get to Alpha Centauri! It's nice to get to meet more of the characters, Tirsa in this case. I see what you meant when you said you didn't want her to apear too interested in Celeste, given that we learn here that she has issues forming successful relationships with anybody. My stylistic approaches have varied depending on what I'm writing and how I'm going about it. Usually, I'll throw a few together (three or four) and introduce them at an even pace (or try...). Similar to how I've come with the MCs here. Although this one is kind of different in that it is a slower intro. As for her lack of forming relationships, there is a reason for that in Chapter 4 (which, hopefully, is a good written character development... I have a tendency to push myself, writing characters and situations expanding my own ability and trying to open other people up to them...) I also wonder how truthful she was being with Ingvild about Mars. She says she has nightmares, but she also mentioned earlier in the chapter that she had never felt more alive than when she was in combat. These two things aren't necessarily contradictory, but it provides an intriguing ambiguity about the character. I never meant for them to be contradictory, so that's good. And it's good there's a little ambiguity there. As for lying... Well, that I'd like to leave to the reader. Is she lying because she's an alcoholic? Is she being honest and has almost a split reaction to combat? Finally, we learn that, assuming I'm understanding the ranking system correctly, Celeste's ex is now going to be her commanding officer. That's...going to suck. In a word... Most certainly. And you understand correctly. Adara is the platoon's second in command (2IC) as Warrant Officer, subordinate only to Hamilton. Celeste, as Sergeant Major, is third in command (3IC). Perhaps I should have put some of the jargon in an A/N. We also learn some kind of unsettling stuff about the Rebels, like how they don't do the whole "prisoner" thing. It makes me wonder about the nature of the conflict and how we got to this state between the two sides. I do hope to include some of the backstory regarding the Rebel and United Earth conflict in some of the coming chapters (well, coming in terms of writing...). I feel that it will help to worldbuild (history build?) with regards to the United Earth and her colonies. So hopefully that turns out just as well as I hope it will. At any rate, I'm interested in seeing what happens when they finally get to Alpha Centauri! There are a few more chapters to go before that happens and I hope they don't get too boring and turn you away. And when they do get to Alpha Centauri, I hope it doesn't disappoint with the build up. Thanks for your review!
  25. Tcr

    Blood Prize

    My apologies, it has been a long while since posting to this one, so as thanks, a double feature... Chapter 17 (Into the Fire) and 18 (Under Pressure) posted.
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