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Status Updates posted by Ghost-of-a-Chance
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So. Is it colder than a witch’s cunt where y’all are, too? No? Just us? Muh-zurr-uh’s done froze over, folks.
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Been sitting in the -40s all week with the bloody north wind. Well my fault for being in Manisnowba.
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@manta2g Think you need two of these… at least. And… ☕ ☕ ☕
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@manta2g, you do know that fully fifty percent of your fellow Canadians live well south of the 49th Parallel for a reason, don’t you?
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Things which literally never happen to me:
- Hearing Nuvole Bianche without mentally melting into a blissful rapturous puddle
- Seeing “Woozle” snoring with his mouth open and his little tongue hanging out without snickering
- Smelling an old book without the urge to huff it like a lunatic regardless of who’s watching
- Tasting a well-prepared quality tea without being thankful for life in general
- Feeling Heiferlump step on me with her pointy little toes without shrieking in pain then apologizing for startling her.
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Ah, my wee corgi lass has ideopathic epilepsy. It’s been over 4 years since her diagnosis, and we’re managing to keep it to one or two big episodes a year, so that’s something. And for 99% of the time, she’s our sweet, lovable bundle of happiness, so it’s all good.
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I’m honestly really glad to find out about the book-huffing club. I remember going to the library and just loving the smell. I always thought I was really weird.
I mean, I know I’m weird (I talk to the bugs I pick up to take out of the house), but you know, at least it’s not for the book smell thing.
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InBrightestDay, I regularly argue with my older cat...and lose. She can’t speak English but I still lose. Compared to that, demanding bugs stay out or pay rent isn’t that weird.
Also, libraries always smell DIVINE to me. Or, at least, OTHER libraries smell divine to me. Our local library stank of dirty feet and unwashed underwear for the last few years; now that it’s moved into the new building it just smells like paper and fuckboy. Fit to make a body cry, it is. The college library, though...WHEW! It’s a book-huffer’s dream come true – one step through those doors and your nose needs an after-fun cigarette.
First rule of Book-Huffing Club: You don’t talk about Book-Huffing Club.
Second Rule of Book-Huffing Club: There is no Book-Huffing Club.
Third rule: If you find a good one, don’t be greedy - SHARE IT with fellow Book-Huffers.
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Oh this is hilarious. I’ve once again buggered the buzzard on posting chapters and have reached out for help...and the ad on the thread, last I checked, is for something called Ghost’s Dilemma.
My pen-name varies from site-to-site due to various site restrictions on logins, but the name I go by online is Ghost Chance. Thanks for the publicity but I kinda feel called out.
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Thank you, for both the morning giggles and for the plug. I’ll have to remember not to call any future books in the series “Ghost’s Chance.”
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Eh, no sweat if you do, BronxWench. I took my penname from a RUSH song so it’s not like I can copyright it. I take it you’re the mysterious author? Kudos, Hon!
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Oh, I’m not entirely mysterious, just not being terribly prolific lately! They’re sweet and silly little stories, nothing terribly dramatic, but I like my characters, so I’ll write more for them. Eventually. I have the bones of the third in the series, plus a sort of prequel that’s not nearly as gentle. We’ll see how that goes over, if I ever finish it.
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Our cats have access to two cat beds, several chairs, a couch, a couple boxes, a footrest, a beanbag, countless pillows and blankets, a sunny windowsill with a blanket in it, our bed, and a cat tree. The cats are permitted to have a cuddle, nap, or lazy moment in all of these places. If we don’t catch them first, there’s even a couple baskets of clean laundry that might be comfy.
…and Woozle wants to sleep on top of a flat of toilet paper jammed into a storage shelf.
Cats, man. You just can’t make sense of them.- Show previous comments 3 more
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No surprise to me – my cats always seem to have a new favorite thing to lie down in or on. We call it “surface of the week.”
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I no longer have cats, but my half-Maine Coon brothers, Toivo and Aino, preferred to nap on top of the kitchen cabinets, or in Toivo’s case, on the very small window ledge in the bathroom, after he’d swept it clear of offending shampoo bottles. Both of them would deign to sit in boxes, which was often complicated by their size, but Aino also liked to hide inside paper bags, which for some reason offended Toivo no ends. The battle to free Aino could last for a good half hour before the paper bag was in tatters.
They weren’t fond of my feet (unlike my corgi who has cost me several years of lifespan when she stealth-licks my ankles) but Toivo liked to give me large, dead horseflies. They were placed carefully on the pillow next to my head.
I miss having cats...
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Mine? Starts with me hearing the high pitch noises, find the Queen having kittens, so I claimed half the litter (three of six). Seventeen years later, I still have one of them with me (the other two have ventured across the rainbow bridge).
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I’m confused here. I got a ‘disclaimer’ review on one of my older stories (Denial) from mod PIPPYCHICK. It includes this text:
QuoteYour disclaimer doesn't have one of the two parts we need to see. It must say that no money/profit is made. Saying that it’s just for fun or just for entertainment purposes is not enough.
BUT! my disclaimer for that story states just that. I double-checked, and the disclaimer has these words exactly:
QuoteI do not own TMNT, Hellboy, or any mentioned music, movies, etc; I make no money from this. I DO own Alesha, Maggie, Dante, the Willows, and Amber...and coffee. LOTS of COFFEE.
This is the basic disclaimer format I used for that series of stories with the exception of the word “story.” (I think maybe I ran out of characters…? I dunno. It’s been a while since I even thought about that story or series. Anywho, I replied to the email immediately upon receipt of it but haven’t gotten any answer yet. (I can't recall if replying to the email will do any good. In my defense, I’ve been oscillating between fine and suddenly retching most of the day.)
Was this an error? Does acknowledging ownership of my OCs throw the rest of the disclaimer into question? Was my dorky joke about owning lots of coffee the problem? Or does “I make no money from this” translate to “Dude! I’m totally getting paid for writing this story!” and somehow, I’ve never noticed before?
I’m so confused right now. (...or am I queasy? Or is it both? ...both. Both is good.)
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I took a look and the disclaimer as it is right now is fine. The no-profit statement you have there is more than sufficient for our needs. I’ve updated our records to show it’s correct, so your story won’t be hidden.
And I’m on grand jury service until the end of January, so I’m confused, queasy, and occasionally out of my mind
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Oops… I am so sorry! I am moving, mostly in secret, and so this week has been a bit of a daze.
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Hey, Folks! I’m not ignoring y’all like a brat. I’ve tried replying to this post several times but my tablet browser keeps eating the replies when I click ‘post.’ Pardon the mental image but Kindle’s “Silk” browser is about as useful as bollocks on a heifer.
Basically no worries because real life ALWAYS comes first and it always should come first, and I greatly appreciate the help.
WillowDarkling, thank you for posting that link – I couldn’t find it before I posted the original status, probably because I was stuck in a sick-fog. (I was worried I wouldn’t be able update fix the disclaimer within the time allotment on account of said sick-bug. It was doing its darndest to take me down and keep me there. Next time something like this comes up, I’ll be sure to follow that link.
BronxWench, very much appreciated! Also, you never fail to make me grin. You’re a hoot. Hope the jury duty went well!pippychick, eh, no worries. Mistakes happen, especially when you’re stressed and busy. I spend half my days in a daze and I don’t have your excuse so you’re doing just fine. I hope the move is going well…?
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I wanted to share a real zinger for anyone who needs a laugh today. For this to make sense, you need to know three things: 1, I'm bi with a very supportive straight husband; 2, I'm in the closet IRL because of homophobic loved ones, and 3, I'm "out" online under my pen name. Oh, and 4, my husband Cold is an adorable smartass.
I spent some time today working in our big hall closet, up on a stepladder. When I heard Cold come through the front door, I warned him to be careful coming through the hallway because "I'm kinda in the closet."
"Kinda?" he retorted. "You're entirely in the closet."
I could hear the unspoken bi joke like a cat hearing a can opener. "I'm only in the closet IRL," I reminded him, "online, everyone and their gay stepdog knows I'm bi."
Cold poked his head around the door. "Either you're in the closet or you're out of the closet," he teased me. "You can't be both. You're not Schrodinger's bi."And that's how I realized it is entirely possible to laugh yourself right off a ladder, and that, despite getting older, Cold IS still able to catch me before I can fall on my oversized rump. I'm still grinning about this, and it's been over an hour!
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That guy is definitely a keeper! Schrodinger’s bi, indeed.
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He’s perfect!
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Knock yourself out, @InvidiaRed! I told him I’m stealing it, too, so he’s been warned. @WillowDarkling and @BronxWench he is a hoot, let me tell you that! I’ve gotten some real tongue-choking jokes from him in our eleven years but Schrodinger’s bi may just top them.
Earlier this week, I complained about finding inch-worms destroying my plants. His response? Paraphrased, “I hate inchworms. They need to learn some assertiveness instead of always inching around like they’re expecting to get stepped on.” I. Just. About. Died.
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It’s been over seven years since RUSH released Clockwork Angels, and nothing has changed. I still fall into an all-encompassing, skin-prickling, lung-stilling, and soul-rending state of ecstasy every time I hear “The Wreckers.” The problem? My hubby has crazy-narrow tastes in music and can’t comprehend how I can love that song so much. It’s true, but I feel like telling him “it makes my ears jizz themselves” would be poorly received by someone who only enjoys music with screaming in it.
Seriously. My ears need a smoke after the song’s over. It’s that freakin’ good.
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JayDee – I’m happy to have introduced you, then!
As a Rusher it’s almost physically painful for me to admit it but I was overall disappointed with the music on Clockwork Angels. The lyrics ranged from “up to par” to “above average” and the concept was great but the sound...uh...yeah, it may just be my ears have gotten spoiled but most of the music came across poorly balanced and, on some tracks, borderline cacophonous. Despite a moment of excessive rhyming repetition at the climax The Wreckers is the only exception I’ve noted on the album. It’s everything I’ve come to expect from Rush and more. The rise and fall of the tempo and pitch, the melodic build and fade, it all evokes the scene being described perfectly. The first time I heard this song, I was so moved by it I cried; even after all this time, it never fails to send chills down my spine and goosebumps scattering over my arms and neck. It hits every single musical frisson trigger in my brain and in just the right order.
Also, for any uninitiated: Clockwork Angels is a concept album based on a steampunk reimagining of Voltaire’s Candide, and Rush’s FINAL studio album.
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It’s also a book, which Elderspawn dropped on my desk when I was playing The Wreckers. Pool reading for the win!
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BronxWench – you’ve had the honor of reading the book?! OMG, I can barely contain my envy and the intensity of my geek-out! You lucky, lucky woman!
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It's Thanksgiving. My mother-in-law invited herself over for dinner and will be here around five. I barely managed to get the place clean. My husband is cranky, I've got cooking left to do, and Woozle just tried to pee on his sister.
...at least the apartment smells like orange cupcakes.
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Well, there go my after-dinner plans. I'd rather not get shanked.
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*dies laughing* I was referring mainly to family. I have certain relatives, mostly on my husband’s side, that I’d rather drop-kick from a great height than entertain. You, on the other hand, are welcome!
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“Shanksgiving”
...I’ll get me coat.
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I’ve got another zinger from hubs to share! A few minutes ago, I was chatting with Cold about my plants in the window and I said, “I mean, those two need repotting already. They must really like this southern exposure!”This guy. This absolute smartass. He looked at me with a completely innocent face and said, “yeah, but I don’t know how they can stand the accent.”…y’all. Cold has a southern accent.
Yes, I choked on my spit. That mouth of his makes me so stinking proud sometimes. -
Well. It took close to a year and a half but we finally know why I’ve been having nerve pain and numbness and struggling to stand and walk. The ‘why’ is not an easily fixed condition (...possibly not “fixable” at all, from the sound of it...) but having an explanation for the problem is the first step on the path forward. I can’t even express how relieved I am to have physical proof that what I’ve been struggling with wasn’t just in my head; the fact that such was bothering me as strongly as it was should say something about how folks with invisible disabilities are often treated in the US.
I’m still stuck with walking with a cane for now. There are also orthotics, braces, medication, and routine specialist visits added to the equation now. I’m not crazy about that...but I’ll live. At least it’s not neuropathy and there’s a chance of some improvement with treatment, and so long as those two statements are true, I’m sure I can find a way to not whine too much. It’s a bonus that the medication I’m on now is helping with my bad knee (why I had the cane, to begin with) and I’ve got a very courteous and understanding doctor taking care of me. Maybe now that the testing and waiting are over, I’ll have a little more free time. If so, maybe I’ll be more able to use said free time for writing and updating. In the meantime, it’s good to be back on here even if only occasionally.
Anyway. Dropping off the face of the earth without warning is kind of normal for me but...well...this is why I’ve been exceeding my usual DOtFotE statistics. In the coming months, if I get unusually bristly on here, say something unfriendly, or come across as short or rude, I apologize profusely in advance. I’m hanging in here the best I can...but...frankly, my nerves are compressed and sending pain and itching signals through otherwise healthy tissue, and there’s not a whole lot I can do when it gets really bad. There are days when it’s so bad I just want to cuss a blessed blue streak, cry, or both at once. Generally, I try to stay offline on days like that but they’ve snuck up on me before. If it happens, please be patient with me and let me know I’ve been a dick (because I probably won’t even realize it until later on when I’m trying to sleep) and I’ll apologize for it.
Until next time, I hope everyone’s having a comfortable and safe spring, and wish y’all the best.
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My smartass husband almost doomed us all. He’s eating animal crackers and found a cookie that appeared to be two different critters stuck together. What’s he suggest? ”Hey. Think we can fix this chimera with alchemy?”
No, Cold. HAYELL no. We are not breaking the alchemical taboo in twenty-twenty-anything, this is not the decade to risk it! There are two whole anime series about just why we don’t mess around with that!
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I have never actually used Reverse Dictionary, and I think I may continue that way…
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The idea behind the site is a good one but the execution...eh...well, it’s horribly lacking. I’ve never gotten a single good answer from the site no matter how many times I rephrase what I’m looking for.
Highly suggested. It’s more trouble than it’s worth unless you’re looking for a laugh.
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Another recent flub from the Reverse Dictionary:
“frustration over a recurring unpleasant event.” Suggestion: Pantaloons.
I have a feeling that wouldn’t even make sense in the Matrix. I may never cease to be frustrated by my brain’s inability to find the words I need, but at least that makes sense. “Pantaloons,” however….
...nope.
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Using AI to edit your smut can be so wild. ProWritingAid decided that this sentence…
QuoteKai’e’ie is insatiable—ravenous, breath-stealing, and covetous—and its expression is primal and passionate fucking.
…needs this correction:
QuoteKai’e’ie is insatiable—ravenous, breath-stealing, and covetous—and its expression is primal and passionate about fucking.
I mean, sure, I’m as passionate about fucking as anyone, but that isn’t quite what I was going for there. I can only assume the algorithm assumed Kai’e’ie is a name rather than an emotion and that I was trying to make small talk instead of comparing two different emotional states—Kai’e’ie versus mi’lee’veez—related to intimacy. (Kai’e’ie’: combined from syllables from words meaning love, say, life, and bond; combined, the meaning is, literally love said, life-bound, or figuratively, without you, I die. The fictional people who created this word are apparently as dramatic as I can write them. Mi’lee’veez: the root words in their entirety and proper order mean my dream heart. Sappity-sap-sop, someone get a mop.)
This is what I get for creating a fictional language for my novel. 🙄 J.R.R., you’re a horrible influence.
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The difference between this site’s forums and FFnet’s forums is...uh...what’s a good solid word for “incredible?” There’s no doubt which of the two is better.
FFnet forums are plagued with simple, honest, non-aggressive questions which are subject to aggressive dogpiling, bullying, retributive reporting, and immaturity from users who don’t comprehend that you can disagree with someone without that disagreement making them a horribly nasty and evil person AND without being an utter dickbag about it. I’ve seen questions about site functions and guidelines turn into cyber-bullying sessions that have made people log off for weeks to recover; many of these times, I’ve given up on getting my answer to track the bullied user down and reassure them only to find out they were brought to tears and considering deleting their accounts entirely. The immaturity and bullying on that site is appalling, and even more so that it’s allowed to continue without repercussions.
AFF forums? I’m looking for a thread to get answers from; instead, I just found a topic titled “Uses for a pet demon” and sprayed hot tea out my nose. No attacks in the replies, just people having fun with the idea and being – GASP! – rational human beings! Even more, users replying are – if you can believe it – JOKING about it! I feel like a kid who heard “Detention” but instead wound up at Disney World for the week. Plus, I can say someone’s being a dickbag without being reported for profanity, and I can write “this hit me hard” without the censors leaving only “me hard.” That's always awkward.
I love this site, and I love its users. Y’all are awesome. If only the site was easier to navigate and use on my tablet and if only it had better log-in security, I’d love it twice as much. Either way, it’ll be a while before I bother with FFnet’s forums again.
Now I just need to find a thread for language research & resources...
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We have some language research and resources tucked away in here: http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/forum/86-unofficial-guides/
But you know, I love the forums here, too. That’s what really sucked me in, and I wound up joining the staff because, well, why not?
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I think that’s the very place I wound up posting a new thread with my question, BronxWench. Much appreciated!
Honestly, if I have to choose between people who have a sense of humor and people who clutch their pearls over someone saying butt in the forums when not referring to cigarettes or weapons...uh...I’ll go with fun people every time.
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The state of the world has finally convinced me: humans are too ridiculous for words.
From here on out, I choose to identify as a porg......because I, too, am small, awkward, chunky, incredibly useless, frequently in the way, and undeniably adorable, and I, too, make obnoxious sounds to communicate with others of my species.
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I’m so ready for Fall.
...if I break my neck on the stairs tomorrow, that’s NOT what I meant.
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I’m ready for 2021. Tomorrow would be nice.
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YAS! I like your idea better. 2020 has been a nightmare from beginning to end...it’s gotten to the point where folks ask me “how’s life going?” and the only response I can think of is “it’s sharting blackbirds.”
But then people who’ve never acquainted themselves with Hieronymus Bosch’s work are totally lost and wonder if I’ve got a screw loose. It’s an accurate mental image, though.
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Things dog people should know about cats:
- They don’t hate everything – some of them just have resting bitch behavior.
- They don’t want to kill you in your sleep – they want to cuddle...your face.
- Some are picky about food. Others? “Feed me right now oR i WiLl ScReAm!!!”
- The fat ones are the cuddliest. The skinny ones make good parrots.
- They’re not lazy – they conserve energy for their one-am zoomies. No, they don’t care if that doesn’t work with your schedule.
- Hairballs...that’s really just a euphamism for “fur-filled barf-cigar.”
- If you treat them right, and don’t treat them like dogs, chances are they’ll love you for life. If you treat them like dogs, they’ll become assholes.
- On the other hand, some really are just assholes from the start. It’s a toss-up.
- Toe-beans. ‘nuff said.
Brought to you by my two babies, Heiferlump Chance and Woozle Thomas...one of whom is screaming for food right now. Cats.
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Porg-give me if this is out of line, but I wanted to show off the little buddy my hubby got me for Christmas last year. Folks, if you’re looking for love, find you someone who respects your nerdities and odditudes.
Y’all can keep y’all’s his and hers towels; in this home we have Pikachu and Porgs.
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Quote
Y’all can keep y’all’s his and hers towels; in this home we have Pikachu and Porgs.
You got very Southern there for a moment.
That is a really sweet gift! I hope some day I can be married to someone like that!
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Quote
You got very Southern there for a moment.
In my defense, I was born and raised in Missouri maybe an hour from the M’Arkansas border, and I still live in the same region. Missouri is Southern enough for the awkward stuff like accent but too far north for the sweet tea to taste good.
QuoteThat is a really sweet gift! I hope some day I can be married to someone like that!
It really was just the sweetest thing, really. I grew up in a family where fannish behavior was supposed to be kept secret and treated as an embarrassment. When Cold started bringing his Playstation and anime over for dates I knew I hit gold. Honey, if you can, try to find you a man (or woman, or both, or neither, or ancient eldritch entity, etc) who respects your inner nerd and lets theirs out around you. I hope you can find someone who appreciates you for who you are, too. It’s worth everything in the world when you can be dorks together.
By the way? We’ve been together 11 years this April, he regularly lets me pull the “rubber ducky” maneuver on him when I’m stumped on a scene, and I’ve taken up gaming with him on occasion. He’s my favorite dork and I’m his favorite nerd, and it’s just what we both needed.
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Grammarly had a blonde moment. Grammarly identified “blonde” as two different incorrectly spelled words somehow jammed together.
This is why you always, always, ALWAYS either do your own proof-reading or have a beta proof-read your drafts instead of just running them through spellcheck and accepting all corrections. Grammarly’s free checker is, so far, the best I’ve come across, but it works best in combination with proof-reading. No checking program can replace proofreading.
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Quote
For the first time in his life, Leon was entirely, utterly alone, and with no end in sight. Unbidden, he recalled his brother’s final words to him: it was always you or me...now it’s just you. Yet again, he wondered what Norton meant by that; yet again, he wondered if, in some backward way, it meant only one of us will survive this life, so I’m choosing you to do it. The suspicion always left a twisting, burning, aching feeling in his gut—something somewhere in the messy middleground between resentment, heartache, and resignation. That middleground was nothing new – before Norton’s sudden and grisly death, it was where Leon’s heart inevitably landed after any length of time around him.
...and that, Leon admitted if only to himself, was what hurt the most.
Excerpt from A New Lease on Life – 61: Forgiveness is for the Victimized (WIP)
Sometimes when I read back over what I’ve written, it feels like I just vomited up words on a page, swept it into a pile, and called it good. Other times, like this, I wonder if I carved them out of my chest and walked away without realizing a piece of my heart was missing. All I meant to do was get into the groove of the chapter and I stabbed myself right in the feels.
*From a WIP/rough draft, no checking done yet – expect mis-comma-ing all over the place and maybe a spelling/grammar error or two.)
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While my husband fed the cats a moment ago, I squirted the younger one’s liquid medicine down his throat. Woozle, the little shit, let half the dose drip out of his mouth and roll down my shirt and shorts. I grumbled about it—because that medicine stains, turns into tar, and smells like rotten fish a roadkill—and what did Cold say?
”Well. Pussy likes to dribble.”
I married this clown. I married him. (He’s not wrong, though.)
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Y’all, I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried. I’m editing a new chapter of A New Lease on Life <500 words at a time with ProWritingAid, and the Readability checker gave me such a double take I heard my neck crack. I posted a screenshot on Tumblr because pics or it didn’t happen.
An (admittedly wordy) paragraph got a hard to read flag. Everything is spelled correctly, but it has several big words regarding language and its various parts and traits. You know. Words like consonants, syllables, dialects, and pronunciation. Hard, however, seems excessive.
Right above this paragraph is one marked easy to read. The entire thing is written in (intentionally) misspelled Scots and Scots-Gaelic that gave the spelling and grammar checker a stroke…and it’s easy to read…
…what…the actual…fuck…
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"Something Wild" - Lindsey Stirling & Andrew McMahon In the Wilderness
I’m not sure where I was first introduced to the musical style of Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness – was it “Rainy Girl,” maybe, or “Canyon Moon?” – but I’m falling for it harder every day. I’m rarely brought to tears by contemporary music with vocals but AMitW is, so far, a frequent exception. I never would have associated something as intense as “Something Wild” with Disney had I not heard it myself in Pete’s Dragon. ...and cried. ...like a baby.
Good grief. My eyes are burning, my skin’s buzzing, and my heart’s a gooey, fluttery mess. This...this is beautiful and it hits all my frisson-triggers in just the right order. If y'all haven't heard anything by this artist, please, for the love of all that's good and bright in this world, fix that starting by playing this video and listening.
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There’s nothing in the world like going from a long night of white noise to the day’s first song. It’s a shift from ennui to enlightenment – tense stillness to sudden and flurried movement.
The only comparison I can ever come up with, odd as it sounds, is standing on the edge of a bald drop-off, staring down into the early morning fog seeping through the treetops, and watching the rising sun slowly burn through the mist. No matter how beautiful the sunset may be, no matter how the clouds swirl or the fog swoops in as dusk falls, nothing the rest of the day will ever match up to that first moment of burning elation. Delay never weakens it; urgency never strengthens it.
Blindness, I could maybe learn to tolerate. Silence, more likely. Losing all ability to hear? That, I’m sure, would slay me outright. Thus why this afternoon, I’m blaring “After the Rain” and grinning like an idijt for no reason whatsoever.