NecroNOMNOMicon

That was definately Osgood's opinion!

As long as I get the selfie first, the murder won't seem so horrible...

As long as I get the selfie first, the murder won't seem so horrible...

Sorry, no lunches high up in the air. Unless you fancy seeing my lunch twice...
As for St. Paul's Cathedral... um, NO. Because Cybermen!
-NecroNOMNOMicon

Haha, for some reason the "I Suck at This" is really funny to me.

For some reason, "jealous husband with a gun" keeps running through my mind...
However, it's far more likely that I will be done in by a panic-induced heart attack after being bitten by a huge-but-harmless spider while standing atop a ladder on the observation deck of the Empire State Building -- thus succumbing to my two worst fears, spiders and heights!

No, no! Not like scolding at all - what I was getting at was, well, if it's not your cup of tea it's better to have some coffee rather than choke it down
You wanted the best joke, you ended up with number 2!

Please don't get me wrong: I wasn't complaining that this story wasn't my cup of tea, I was more or less informing you of that fact. Sort of like me saying, "I don't usually do this on the first date, but..." Apologies if it came across as me scolding you or anything like that. I read the tags. I don't normally read scat stories, but I was intrigued to see what you would do with the material, having handled necrophilia so adroitly.
Explaining the eyes and footjob as exactly the sort of sadistic thing Bellatrix would do just for kicks is an excellent bit of characterization. Having only seen the movies, my impressions of her were that she's very powerful, very dangerous, very insane, and everyone was scared shitless (so to speak) of her!
Spicy Indian food... *shudder*. Reminds me of the "South Park" parody of The Human Centipede. Hey, there's an idea -- Bellatrix gathers up some other students and sews them to Harry to make a Hogwarts Human Centipede!!
Damn, I forgot Harry died at the end of the Tonks "corpse-fucking spectacular." (I guess I liked that story so much I wanted it to go on somehow...)
And, finally, I fully intend to read Part 2 when/if you decide to write it up! Just in case you give a shit...
(You see what I did there? Did you see it? Oh, yeah!)

I think I would call it, "The Package Deal," which references the agreement he was forced into as well as calling the male bits "a package," and... and... no? Oh, well... what about...
This one only works if your son character is named Max: "Mad Max: Fury Choad"
Or, how about:
"Not Mother of the Year"
"What I Did on My Summer Vacation"
"How to Succeed in Gay Porn Without Really Trying"
"Rimming for No Fun or Profit"
"I Suck at This"
"The Obligation"
I'll be here all week, folks! Tip your waitress!
Note for concerned observers: I'm not ridiculing people; just trying to come up with a clever line. No offense intended!!

I think I would call it, "The Package Deal," which references the agreement he was forced into as well as calling the male bits "a package," and... and... no? Oh, well... what about...
This one only works if your son character is named Max: "Mad Max: Fury Choad"
Or, how about:
"Not Mother of the Year"
"What I Did on My Summer Vacation"
"How to Succeed in Gay Porn Without Really Trying"
"Rimming for No Fun or Profit"
"I Suck at This"
"The Obligation"
I'll be here all week, folks! Tip your waitress!
Note for concerned observers: I'm not ridiculing people; just trying to come up with a clever line. No offense intended!!

If you have any left, let me know and I'll see what I can do (to them)...

If you have any left, let me know and I'll see what I can do (to them)...

Stargirl: Alien Mother, one of my first stories under the JD username (It's actually on one site with a discarded-after-two-stories username, but the same email!)

A review:



Well, one thing hasn't changed. I still like facehuggers. Beeen working on and off on an Alien story for a few years. Even if the VGCats face full of alien wing wang portrayal cracked me up so darn much,
Thanks also for this review! I got into Stargirl through the JSA run at the ass end of the 90s/early 2000s when I still got to read a lot of comics. Savage was always portrayed as a total asshole in the comics I used to read, so I figured he did make a good fit. I did like the original ending myself! You don't need to see extra stuff, it's enough to have an air of horror. Well, that's what the original Alien suggested anyhow.

...and now at 22805 hits, another review for Nymphadora Necrophilia. Three reviews in the last 11468 hits! It's on fire!

Thank you for your review on this story! and the other three on other stories!. You must have had an assload of free time I've never been much of one for going back to stories. I tend to fire and forget. Obviously this was pretty controversial for Harry Potter fandom, contiaining niche paraphilias like hetero and less than entirely handsome people, but I'm pretty happy with how it turned out and it's nice to see it is still being read! A Bellatrix follow up would be kind've fun, though to stay on theme I'd have to come up with more corpses than fiction's greatest serial killer, Miss Marple, for folks to interfere with. Oh come on, wherever Marple went, dead folks. Jessica Fletcher was just as bad.
I still say the best thing to come out of this story is the fake ESPN commentary further up page 2 of this thread

Two movie story reviews! Thanks for these also!

"Poppies! Poppies!"


Yeah, ya gotta have a laugh at some of the stranger pairings! I think, and I may be wrong here, but I think the Tin Man was actually originally a flesh and blood guy who got all his parts replaced. But they might have had a different explanation in the movie, been a while since I saw it. I actually found the unturnable hourglass way scarier when I was a kid. I dunno why, but lets face it - time fucks most of us in the end. Damn that pimp daddy time. You couldn't blame the lion! He's gonna have a spiny feline cock! It'd leave a mark! . Maybe if Tin Man had more rivets...

You Can Take The Boy Out Of The Moisture Farm...


Dark Side Leia is more realistic than death eater Ron! I mean, sure, Luke resisted it but Leia would've totally been "I can do my hair how? I'm in!" Maybe that'll be the new film and she'll be the one to kill Han and Chewie. Or not. Yeah, I was never much of one for the happy ending rape fics. Though out of a deep commitment to hypocrisy I did some later.
Well, thanks again for all your reviews! I hope you didn't waste too much time on that stuff. Some of it is kind've embarrassing to look back over. Don't take my word for it, check out the topless robot quotes.

Slash? Mommy you write Slash...BEASTIALITY!

That should cover it...

I can appreciate the feelings you both have, but I assure you both that I did not feel pressured or censored -- if you actually knew me in real life you'd know that I am a staunch champion of free expression, almost to a fault, and would never even consider bowing to censorship. So you are hereby absolved of guilt in this matter. Only I am to blame for the stuff I do. And I decided the stories aren't worth the potential hurt feelings.
As I indicated, I am reworking both stories, and they are almost finished. I actually decided to meld them and make the former-Hailee story a future new chapter in the former-Vanessa story, which now has an OC main character. After thinking about it I realized that changing the stories to Original Fiction would allow them to go in some different directions, which is creatively freeing.
On balance, I think this whole affair is a step forward. Thanks for your input, BronxWench and JayDee!
PS: In the (highly) unlikely event that I actually do have (heretofor silent) fans, please do not devour JayDee, who only meant well.

...well, now I feel terrible. I totally didn't mean for you to take stuff offline. I feel like a censor and I didn't even get to use a big black pen. Is not what I meant... ah well, as long as you keep writing and creating in some way is all good. Now I will flee before your fans devour me!

Actually, I also feel bad that you're pulling stuff, but I am delighted to hear that you're going to rework it as original fiction. Censorship isn't what AFF is about - far from it - but I have this terrible little voice that follows me around whispering about consequences. It's curiously mute when I write original works, though.

I wasn't actually posting that to deter you, or anyone. It was more or less to illustrate that fan fiction does sometimes reach places we might not expect, or think it would. The guys were good sports about it, really, and as I said, it was an innocuous little story.

I too didn't post to try and dissuade you or anybody! I just figured since you'd seen it as being less popular, I ought to explain why since I knew I'd made some less than positive posts about my old RPF (like those linked above).
I guess a lot of the younger stars have grown up in an internet world and so, while more likely to find and read fanfiction (and possibly write and share it themselves) they might well be less likely to be as shocked or offended by nasty fanfic, because they'd know that the internet is full of assholes like me or every single commenter on youtube. Still don't like the idea of 'em seeing my old stuff though.
I guess that's a fair part of the problem for me though, because while not all of my RPF was for unpleasant themes, a lot sure was and it's probably a lot worse for someone to find/be sent/be asked to read on the Tonight Show/something about them, say, being screwed by an animal (except, you know, country music stars) to take an example from one of my old stories, than about a mary sue-ish romantic handholding story. Those are probably just mildly creepy. Unless the writer knows something that they could only know from being in the stars house.
"The fanfiction is coming from inside your house! Get out now!"
"Oh gawd, no!"
Anyway, yeah, I just went and was more negative again. Sorry. I'll stop posting in the thread unless I can think of something positive... uh... creativity! personal expression! Free written porn! Not agreeing with what people fap to, but defending to the climax their right to fap! There ya go. God bless the ACLU's secularism drive!
Stand up comedian sings and talks about erotic Harry Potter fanfic from about 2.33! That's funny and positive! But, obviously, there's someone on TV who would find fanfic about herself!

So, like JD above, BronxWench, you hit on something that I probably have been repressing in my thought processes: the idea of the real person or her actual family and friends reading the stories. I may not have taken that into serious enough consideration before. If you happen to have read my Vanessa story (and if you did, then my apologies for the squick) you can see it's pretty easy to be upset by it if you were her friend or family -- even though that was never the intention of the tale (quite the opposite, in fact).
Suddenly, I'm seeing real-person fiction in a whole new light. Which is sort of what I was hoping for when I started this topic -- but not like this. My immediate reaction is to swear off the stuff and change to original fiction or perhaps writing about film characters played by my favorite actresses.
Lots to think about before publishing my next story. Thanks!
Which doesn't mean I'm no longer interested in hearing from devoted celeb fic writers! In fact, more than ever I'd like to read something from a dedicated RPF writer, please! Tell me why you like to use real people in your stories.

Wow, that was... er, uncomfortable. And eye-opening. I don't write lemons (or even limes, like your example), so suddenly I want to pull down my two celeb fics here, as the ladies involved probably would not read them and laugh about it! I'm going for a walk to do some thinking...

Interesting points, JayDee. I particularly like hearing from a "reformed" RPF writer... I am especially struck by the idea of the star in question reading the fic. I never really stopped to consider that fully because I simply assumed it was just about impossible. But yeah, it suddenly seems less and less impossible and even somewhat more likely. As I said, I consider my stories to be positive things born out of affection, but it's not hard at all to picture Vanessa's feelings being hurt by taking one of my stories at face value.
Also, from my Writer's Pride perspective, you made me re-examine my idea that using celebrities is a shortcut to connecting with the audience. Mabe instead of a shortcut it's a crutch? And of the stars I'm writing about, Vanessa is the only one with any sizeable following, so it's not like those fans are going to inflate my readership numbers.
I need to think about all this.
Thank you for such a thoughtful response!