pippychick

There is no mead in the mead shop. Not a single drop. Not until after Christmas, anyway. In desperation, I walked into the ASDA earlier to ask if they sold it. They’d obviously never heard the word before in their lives, and insisted on pronouncing it as: “Meeeeeed…?” That is what I call a wasted youth, and *waggles finger* it’s a sign of just what has gone wrong with this country since the time of King Arthur.

Let’s make Britain great again. Let’s make mead! We could employ at least… ten people! And thousands and thousands of bees. That will give the bees work to do, and stop them from dying all over the place from worklessness. We have lots of bees, all doing nothing for most of the year. Hiding in their homes with the curtains drawn while the rest of us go out to work in the morning.

We all know China is making cheap mead on the side, flooding the market with it. That was a fantastic day… but anyway! We will install a giant net over the UK, keeping our bees safe, and foreign bees out!

/satire

Tip! To make this parody for yourself, mix equal parts Donald Trump and Iain Duncan Smith. Full recipe details can be found on any mainstream news outlet.

Oh, but sadly I wasn't kidding about the mead