GeorgeGlass

Ten ways you'll explain to your grandkids all those pictures of you in a face mask.

1. "This was right before I fought Goro in the semifinals."

2. "Unfortunately, our Kickstarter campaign for M*A*S*H: The Musical only collected a dollar eighty-nine."

3. “Yeah, your gramma really loved it when I’d put on this mask and- You know what, never mind.”

4. “They used to make all the ugly kids wear these. I hope puberty is kinder to you than it was to me.”

5. "...an' I did it all with nothin' but my horse, my pearl-handled six-shooter, an' that there mask."

6. “I could teach you, but be warned: The way of the shinobi is not an easy one.”

7. “On the up side, I got paid five hundred dollars for being on When Rhinoplasties Go Wrong.”

8. “This was long before you could just buy a kit to make meth.”

9. “Safe sex made one hell of a comeback in the 2020s.”

10. “I tell you, the very last thing you want when you’re fighting zombies is to smash one in the head and get splatter in your mouth.”