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magicmau5

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Posts posted by magicmau5

  1. Lisa 2014-03-27 id # 3000217309

    Magic!!!! What a GREAT chapter!!

    I love Grandma Hazel! I think it's very understanding of them not to hate Pete. I wonder if Pete will tell Max the real reason he did that.

    Loved the boys giving into their feelings.

    Can't wait for more!!! :)

    @Lisa: Thanks for the review :). I guess this isn't a very popular story, you're the only one that seems to continue reading it! I'm trying not to let it bother me but I wish I knew what was wrong with it. I guess maybe it's just boring or maybe offensive. Writing for AFF is good practice for me, though, and I'll definitely continue writing this fic.

    Well I thought maybe the beginning of this chapter was slow, but I couldn't really figure a way around that. I'm glad you liked this chapter. If there's something wrong, boring, etc be sure to tell me that as well.

    I wish I knew why some people prefer characters over others, or what qualities are good about characters you think of as "good." I've been reading a book by Orson Scott Card on creating and developing characters, so hopefully that will help me get better. I like Hazel too, and included her both because Native cultures revere their elders, and because I wish I'd had a grandmother when I was growing up, who could teach me about Mexican culture and traditions.

    I'm pretty sure Max will find out about the real reason Pete hacked his account in chapter 6. I had too much written for this chapter, otherwise I would have finished the steamy scene at the end. Instead, it's going into chapter 6. Chapter 5 is all about Trevor and Pete.

  2. This is a thread dedicated to the M/M slash fic #hashtagwar.

    Lisa 2014-02-08 id # 3000216087
    Magic!!!!! You started another story!!! What's going on w/OTW?
    I'm so excited to read your new story! Can't read it now b/c it's almost 1:30 a.m. and I'm turning into a pumpkin. I will read it first thing in the morning. :)
    Just wanted to say, "Hey!"

    @Lisa: You're the most awesome of awesomist readers ever. I know I told you in my pm about OTW. To other readers: I got quite frustrated with Off the Wall because I was over-editing and over-thinking the writing process. It's hard for me to work on more than one fic at a time, but I think I'll be able to write more about Fico and Luke in the nearish future. :)

    RitsuOuO 2014-02-08 id # 3000216114
    Yes, yes, yes!!! I love this! Wonderful I tell you, just absolutely wonderfully mesmerizing! I absolutely look forward to the next chapter! Thank you.

    @RitsuOuO: Thanks for the nice review. I'm glad you liked the first chapter. What do you think of the others?

    Lisa 2014-02-14 id # 3000216243
    LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT!!! Magic, I LOVE this new story!!!!
    I think both Rob and Max are adorable; they're both so insecure and nervous around each other.
    There were so many funny parts to the story and funny thoughts I found myself laughing throughout the chapter.
    Rob is just adorable and Max is your typical bad boy with a good heart. lol He's gotta cut down on the smoking, drugs, and sex with other boys. Definitely cut down on the sex-with-other-boys bit.
    Can't wait till chapter two comes along! :)

    @Lisa: Yeah, I like insecure characters because I think they're a little more believable, especially when they're teenagers. I'm glad you think it's funny, as I'm going more for cheese and laughs than anything else.

    Lisa 2014-02-18 id # 3000216355
    Shit, Pete is so stupid!!!!
    Of course he got what he wanted, sort of. lol Rob now hates Max, but Rob has got to think this is pretty odd, since Max asked him out. Unless now he thinks he did it as a joke and he never meant to follow through.
    I really feel badly for Pete though. I understand now why he's such an asshole to Rob (and anyone else who would take Max away from him). That really is so sad - his home life, his plan to move wherever Max is going after graduation...and Max has no clue his best friend is in love with him.
    Wait, but Mike is now hitting on Pete! But Mike also likes Rob...hmmmm, you weave a great tale, Magic!
    Can't wait for chapter three! :)

    @Lisa: I know, Pete isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. That's the way I was hoping he'd turn out. Yeah I think Rob is pretty flabbergasted at this point but maybe not so surprised, since Max hasn't really paid much attention to him in the past, and as you'll see later, Rob has his own prejudices to overcome. I like the character Pete because he's angst-ridden but also pretty practical. He wants to take care of himself and those he cares about; he's selfish to some extent but also very loyal and wants to keep the safety of his sister a priority.

    bambi4real 2014-03-11 id # 3000216934
    I am enjoying your story thus far. I am also glad that you don't go into detail about Pete's abuse. I have to admit that I am a bit confused by Rob's Grandmother's vision. Who is the salmon eyed person she is referring to? Rob seems to think it is Max which would make sense as he is suppose to be the love interest of the story however the way you have written it up to now, it sounds like Pete is the character more in crisis than Max. So if anyone was in danger of dying anytime soon it would be Pete from a reckless act or by his own hands. I am not sure really which way you were intending to go with the vision. Look forward to see how it pans out.

    @bambi4real: I hope Ch4 solved some of your questions. I know it seems like Pete is in danger, but he's quite a tough person and very self-reliant. He's withstood years of abuse and hasn't turned to drugs or alcohol to solve his problems. He's internalized it. His character is partially based on the life of one of my cousins, who endured similar abuse and seems fine externally for about forty years before she had a nervous breakdown. Sometimes people can learn to take abuse through internalization this way; it is unhealthy, but can be maintained for longer periods of time than someone who engages in risky behavior. You can see some of the side effects of his anger internalization through his angry outbursts. Don't worry too much about him, though. His salvation comes in Ch5.

    Max is in immediate danger because at any moment he could OD or become a vegetable. He doesn't really understand that the drugs he mixes can be a lethal cocktail. Teens like him think they are immortal -- I know I was like that at his age. I took very big risks with my life that when viewed objectively, could have killed me.

    Lisa 2014-03-14 id # 3000217003
    Pete did such a horrible thing and he knows what he did was wrong. On one hand I'm really upset with him for that, but on the other hand I just want to hug him and tell him things will get better. I just don't get it. Why can't Pete call the cops on his father? Child services? Someone? His father can't get away with blackmailing him like this. It's horrible. And he can't help how his body reacts, he shouldn't not tell anyone b/c of that.
    What a terrific chapter, Magic!!! But the one who stole the whole chapter? Sanyu!!! (did I spell that right?) She's adorable! lol

    @Lisa: I know, Pete is such a loveable villain. At first he was just going to be a mean bully, but I thought that would get boring fast. I'll explain Pete's situation in Ch5. I'm glad you like Sanyu! Her personality is somewhat based on my sister's son, who I babysit. He loves to do similar things with his diaper, my sister's socks, etc. Little kids are pretty fun to write about!

  3. My problem is that I see actual errors such as extra spaces, wrong tense, overuse of an adjective, etc each time I check the draft. I'm not sure what happens but I think since I'm writing at night, I'm tired and maybe have more errors than if I wrote at a different time of day. I have this terrible fear of people seeing my mistakes, and it gets paralyzing at times.

    You'll laugh at this but I edit a single chapter something like 10-20 times. I can't imagine only editing 3 times.

  4. So I have this problem where I go overboard on editing. I get really nitpicky and go back over and over my chapters until I literally get sick at the sight of them. How can I stop this? It seems to waste a lot of time and energy. It's also interfering with my writing process and is so frustrating. I should add that I had a problem in college with this as well.

  5. Usually what happens is that I get ideas just before I go to sleep, then I half dream about it for several days or weeks until I write some ideas down about the characters. Sometimes I get ideas just about dialogue, and record that. Then when I really make a decision to start a story, I begin by creating a character sketch including name, background, visual description, internal and external conflicts, family history and personality quirks. I do this for the main characters and as I go along, add them for minor characters. Then I make notes of the particular scenes and places involved in the story: descriptions, locations, smells, etc. After all that is done, I create a more cogent plot outline. This may start from the beginning and go to the end, or the end and go toward the beginning, or start in the middle, etc. I put the plot together like a puzzle as I go along. Then I make a concerted effort to write the first chapter notes, and subsequent notes for later chapters. Finally, I outline the first chapter and work on each section of the outline. Often the plot springs out of dialogue ideas or ideas I get from popular culture. For instance, I might get an idea from a sketch comedy on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon or Saturday Night Live. The current fic I'm writing stems from a Jimmy Fallon sketch he did with Justin Timberlake. It may sound random, but I tend to get really random ideas and flesh out a story from that original spark. It seems to work well now that I use Scrivener, because it has sections for research, character sketches, locations, etc. I also should note that I keep a log of all the research I do and derive ideas from that as well.

  6. There are lots of great ways to organize your thoughts, both on and off the computer. Here are a few that I've tried that have worked well for me:

    --Writing ideas down on scraps of paper or index cards so that I can lay them out later and move them around until I like the order they're in.

    --Using a smartphone app called Notebooks. I use it to write down ideas or pieces of dialogue or whatnot and then email them to myself so that, later, I can organize them on my computer.

    --Using a freeware program called Freemind. It's basically an outlining program that lets you type text into boxes, shuffle them around, put them in hierarchies, etc.

    Scrivener has Freemind's kind of functionality in an option called Group Mode. It's visual background is a cork board, and you can add notes and shuffle them around however you like as if you were using a physical cork board, sans annoying sticky notes and/or pins.

    I am so happy with Scrivener. It is hands down the best word processing program I've ever used. The best functions, I think, are the Comment and Snapshot functions. Snapshot takes a copy, or "snapshot" of your current document and you can compare it to earlier or later versions. There are multiple docs within the whole doc so you don't have to look at the whole doc at once when you use Snapshot. Comment is a hypertext function that gives you a link within the document to a note that you type in the margin. When I edit, I make comments on things I want to look at later, research further, and words that need a thesaurus. You can easily delete the comments when you're ready to print or publish.

  7. Lisa 2013-11-17 id # 3000213737

    Omg, I LOVED this chapter, Magic!!!!! It was colossal! :) Just like Luke's dick! lol

    I love their banter back and forth - especially the turd banter before Fico discussed Luke's journal. Which brings me to the seriousness of Luke's confession on how much he loves things about Fico. That was one beautiful, heartfelt paragraph. I'm surprised Fico wasn't bawling his eyes out - it got me all choked up and Luke wasn't even talking about me! lol

    I'm glad he explained himself to Fico. Fico shouldn't think that all Luke wants him for is his body. :)

    I just hope the confession of love on both their parts wasn't too soon.

    Fico was so cute when he got so excited about wearing Luke's ring. Funny, we use Josten's too. I guess I didn't realize they're all over the country.

    I thought Tilde's talk with Fico went really well. She is such a sweet mom. And hey, now at least Fico knows that if Luke ever confessed to his mom about how he feels about Fico, she would be totally understanding about it. Fico should tell Luke what his mom said about that.

    This was such a terrific chapter, Magic! I was so sorry to see it end! :(

    I'm looking foward to the next one and hoping that Fico's dick is going to be alright. =)

    @Lisa:

    Colossal is such a better word than massive, don't you think? Did you really get choked up? lol you're so funny. I think Fico was kind of too angry/confused to be teary. Plus I was tired of him crying like a girl every couple of seconds. But he did almost get choked up when talking to Tilde because he has mommy issues. :)

    Yeah actually I used the MDCHS online Jostens tool to make a fake ring. Except they don't have semi-precious stone options like when I was in HS. So the opal part means it had to be custom. Pretty funny, right? Sometimes it helps for me to have a visual. I used Jostens when I was in HS. Then, I promptly lost it while washing my hands. I can't stand that wet under the ring feeling.

    Yeah, about the love confessions. Of course it's way too soon. That's part of the future plot... ;)

    Hey thanks for the review and feel free to tell me the things that are wrong!

  8. Jade 2013-11-17 id # 3000213703

    So the journal was explained in an a believable way :) this was really good chp and smexy too-can't wait for the next one! Also I thought Elliot was 10 or 11?

    @Jade: :) so you got my message. I feel like a stalker or something. I just took an hour and a half (during SNL - Lady Gaga was hosting and she was actually pretty good) to look at the ch over my phone, which always seems to help me see mistakes better than on my laptop. And I found, let me count them...13 grammatical mistakes and 2 issues with too frequent use of adjectives. "Little", "massive", and "embarrassment" among them. I have problems with the word massive in relation to penis size. Because I've had my fair share of men, and the average penis size is 7 inches. I find it very hard to believe my male love interest could have a 10 in cock. But, it's a story so what the hey?

    This is funny b/c I have yet to address you review!

    Hey I'm glad you liked this chapter. I spent a week on it, I think. I thought about it all through the day and well into the night. I thought about it when I woke up, and when I was walking the dog, you get the point! I had to reconcile a lot of little bits of the plot that are easy to mess up - like the age of Elliot, when Luke's grandpa died, how old Tony Hawk was when Fico was 11, etc. Now, if you go back and look in the earlier chapters, you'll see that Elliot is initially described by Fico as appearing around 6-7 yrs. Tilde just confirms his judgement in this chapter.

    Next chapter: a scary/sexy dream of Fico and Luke together. Gotta love dream sequences!

  9. There was this guy I was seeing (read: shacked up), for seven years. Well, we shacked up 18 mos. after we met only b/c he lost his construction job and couldn't pay his rent. He's from Brazil, is illegal, no documentation, nada, so I let him live with the kids and I. About eight months ago he married someone with a green card so he could get his. Yeah, good luck with that. Anyway, he always claimed there weren't any gay people in Brazil. He's very homophobic, don't know why, although many years ago he did admit to getting a bj from a gay dude. Go figure. lol Anyway, so yeah, no gay boys in Brazil, riiiigghhhtttt. lol

    So he HATED the fact that I'd be reading gay porn! He couldn't understand it and TOOK OFFENSE that I was reading this smut! Like he was insulted! lol Well, it's not like he ever took me anywhere, he'd go off with his friends and drink in someone's house and I stayed home and read gay porn. What's wrong with that? =) He just HATED it. lol

    Then my real ex (the divorced one), found out I'm editing for an online publisher and he asked the name of the company and I'm like, oh shit. So I gave it to him and he hangs up. Two minutes later he calls back and goes, this is like soft porn and under my breath I'm saying there's nothing 'soft' about it. lol It's porn all right. haha He goes it says here they just stopped accepting m/f stories, they only take m/m stories now. I hope you're story is an m/m story. (meaning b/c I'll be getting paid for it). I was just surprised he even KNEW what m/m was! I never knew until I found AFF! lol Hmmm, what's HE been up to in his spare time! lol Oh yeah, shacked up with his ho and raising his illegitimate twin girls. How could I forget?

    Yeah, Crave is such an awesome story, Magic! I really love it. Although much of it makes me cry. It hurts to read about how Jamie sees himself and what low self-esteem he has. I just hope he can get the help he needs to stay alive.

    Speaking of which, I'm on chapter fourteen now, so I'm almost all caught up! :)

    lmfao "his ho and his illegitimate twin girls". Yet another cheating bastard? Guys are assholes. That's what I've learned over the years. The only good guys I know are in my family.

    I dated an Indian (southeast asian) and a guy from Bahrain, and both were so homophobic. My Indian bf thought that in like a hundred years, everybody would be gay. Like, a gaypocalypse. LOL. I tried to convince him that was physically impossible but he insisted it was bound to happen. We're all doomed!

    Jamie's character is heavily based on my personality and life. Pretty sad, huh? In the end, my "Hugh" left me b/c my ED became more important to me than him.

    Man, your job sounds fun!

  10. LOL because she's Catholic! Most are pretty homophobic, if they're the conservative kind. Hell, I used to be, before I became an atheist. I thought it was "unnatural" and didn't think my point of view was in any way offensive or illogical.

    No, she will never know I write this stuff! Man, I can imagine the reaction. She probably would never let me see her kids again!

    I'm wondering if I should respond to your Crave reviews here. I don't see much of a point of making a new thread for Crave, since you're like the last reader. The lone ranger, lol.

    I hadn't really thought about the kids knowing Hugh from school. He was supposed to be there a year and then follow Jamie to Boston. At least I think that was the story. But I've totally forgot the plot. Pretty sad, huh?

  11. Hmm maybe I'll check out that site. Babysitting was fine. I got like two sentences and then they woke up. I had to sit through an episode of Veggietales. I wish my sister weren't so Catholic and they watched Spongebob Iike normal kids. I love Spongebob! But I think she's afraid that Patrick is gay.

    But now I'm home and I've gotten some real work done. I actually put together an outline this time. I usually use the songs as a mental outline but this time I actually typed "outline" like I was back in high school or something.

  12. Oh man, I wrote this whole response to your post and it didn't post. I don't know why.

    Ok, Reader's Digest version: My best friend was bulimic throughout high school and part of college. I had no idea that every time we went out to eat and she was running to the bathroom, that she was throwing up! We would buy chocolate bars and I'd eat mine and she'd give me pieces of hers so I can "share" with her. Little did I realize she wasn't eating any of it! She was also an exercise fanatic. Her parents were very controlling and critical of her. I guess she felt this was the only thing in her life she could control. Luckily she started seeing a therapist and that helped a lot. She's fne now, although she still doesn't eat as much as she should. And she was always slim, never heavy.

    And yes! Of course you can use whatever you like in my reviews! lol I'd be honored, Magic! :) It's so funny - on another site I was interviewed as being a prolific reviewer. The interviewer asked me if I try to influence the author's writing by what I write in my reviews and I said of course not! I have read chapters where I've said, "Omg, that's exactly what I wrote in my last review!", lol, but I don't purposely do that. But yes, Magic, please feel free to write whatever you want from my review. =)

    When I was reading Luke's journal, that's all I thought about: how he seems just so 'physical' towards Fico and he sees him more like a sex toy than a real person with feelings, dreams, goals, etc. But then the way you explained it does explain everything - how writing in his journal is Luke's 'safe' place to put down whatever he feels like. Things he knows he can't verbalize with anyone, he can write it all down in the journal and no one is there reading it who is going to judge him.

    I hope this post goes through! I even did that stupid, asinine (ok, same as stupid, lol), Captcha thingy. That thing is so stupid!!!! I just want the post to go through and the reviews to go through and I have to spend so much time figuring out those stupid Captcha words! I HATE those!!!!

    I think you can listen to the captcha instead of trying to figure it out via looking at it. Try it out and see!

    Thanks for letting me use your idea. I'm pretty careful with intellectual property stuff.

    I'm curious, what website is it that interviewed you?

    I'm going to try and write today while I babysit. My nephews are asleep for a couple hours (hopefully, fingers crossed) while my sister and the rest of her brood are at a birthday party.

  13. Lisa 2013-11-10 id # 3000213463

    Ah, totally loved this chapter, Magic! :)

    Omg, I don't know when the last time I heard "Gott im Himmel"! My mom used to say it all the time! Not the German, but Yiddish version. Believe it or not, Yiddish and German are sorta close together. lol Yeah, miss those Yiddish words...

    Loved the "an alternate porno universe"! That was hysterical! :)

    So Luke has been lusting after Fico all this time. But all I got from his journal was the writings of a lust-filled, sex-crazed boy wanting to "be" with Fico...it's not like he was writing about how much he liked Fico's brain and spending time talking to him, you know? I just wouldn't want Fico thinking Luke is only after him so he can get into his pants. Fico needs someone better than that.

    Can't wait for the next update, Magic!

    I gotta get back to "Crave"!

    @Lisa:

    lol. You're so funny. I probably wrote the journal parts too fast, but I'm also too lazy to change them. I was trying to portray Luke as sex-crazed here because I want his character to have a tendency to mask his sexuality in public, but release it in private. No pun intended. His journal serves as a way to exercise his sexuality in a "safe" manner. I'm glad you gave me that feedback, I think it's really useful. I'll have Fico address that in the next chapter, if you don't mind? I think it's a good observation.

    It's so funny you like Crave so much. I think it's pretty rough, as far as drafts go. It's also heavily concentrated on sex, which I think is a drawback. Crave draws a ton from my own experience with bulimia and college. I think maybe that's why some readers get into it, because it has little details that stem from real memories and feelings.

    Oh and Lisa, thanks so much for the Crave reviews. I'm a reviewophile, just like all the other authors on this site!

  14. This is directed to Lisa for the recent reviews of Crave:

    haha You know what happened? I accidentally added Ch 14 of OTW to Crave. So it jumped up in the fic archive. I hope the mods don't get mad! Um, I know I had a prob with prostate but I thought I'd fixed it. I guess not! thanks for noticing!

  15. Jade 2013-11-07 id # 3000213339

    Hi! I have followed this story from the beginning and overall really liked it. This chapter however had one thing that did not feel genuine with what the character has portrayed. I'm speaking about Luke's journal. It just read like him at all whereas all the other messages and written texts by Fico sounded like him. Bootylicious? Really? I really do like prettying everything else and will gladly read the next chapter.

    RitsuOuO 2013-11-07 id # 3000213362

    Oh my gosh, this story is such a blessing. I'm totally in love with it, thank you so much!

    wolfluv 2013-11-07 id # 3000213363

    "NICE!"

    @Jade:

    Thankyou for the feedback. I'll try to figure out how to address it.

    @RitsuOuO:

    Thankyou for reading it. I write it for you guys!

    @wolfluv:

    THANKS!

  16. Misakixusagi 2013-11-05 id # 3000213281

    Nice chap ^_^

    @Misakixusagi: Nice to see you back! Thanks :)

    wolfluv 2013-11-06 id # 3000213313

    I hope Luke doesn't turn out to be one of those sweet talking guys that everyone loves but if you're their "girlfriend/wife" they treat you like shit and beat on you?!? I know I'm just going to have to read to find out. Awesome chapter though! read ya laters

    @wolfluv: Hmm no. He's just jealous.

    Lisa 2013-11-06 id # 3000213328

    Magic - you're back!!!! :)

    I'm so sorry to hear about the flu; it's so horrible feeling sick like that.

    I quickly read over the last two chapters but didn't notice anything different. Maybe it's b/c I hadn't read them in awhile. What did you change in them?

    This was a great chapter! On one hand I was happy for Fico that Joaco wants to "adopt" him as a brother. Actually, being eighteen, Fico doesn't need a guardian, right? It was nice that Joaco wanted to pay Tilde back for the hospital bill. So now their relationship will be more brotherly but w/o the sex. lol I say that b/c according to lots of stories on here, lots of bros get it on. lol In real life that's disgusting, but in the alternate universe that is AFF, it's totally acceptable! haha ;) But no hanky-panky from these boys. The only hanky-panky going on better be from Fico and Luke ONLY!!!!

    Hella awesome word: frawesome! Can I borrow it sometime? lol Loved Fico doing 'air algebra' with his name. Totally cracked me up! :)

    Now all Fico has to do is to explain his situation with Joaco to Luke. Preferably when Luke has calmed down a bit.

    Terrific chapter, Magic! Hope you're feeling better! =)

    @Lisa:

    I feel like I wasn't gone that long! Um, I added several elements, paragraphs mostly. They were just explanations of what Fico was feeling like, thoughts going through his head and stuff.

    Yeah I felt weird just cutting Joaco off. I think he's not such a bad guy, just a little misdirected. Yeah no hanky panky for him from Fico. Poor guy!

    I first heard my friend say frawesome in like 2009. Never really heard anyone else say it though. You could check the Urban Dictionary.

    Yeah Luke's not going to be happy after that convo.

    I wasn't very pleased with this chapter but I can't really think of a way to make it less sucky. It doesn't have much action in it, it's mostly filler between Ch12 and Ch14. I think you'll like Ch14 better. It's written from Luke's perspective (mostly) about his first impression of Fico, from his journal. I'm going to have a lot of fun writing it, I bet.

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