attackegg

Since it says in the sticky that this is permissible if posted in the required format... I'd like to promote someone else's story. Author: roughdrafthero Title: Rorschach Blots Summary: Sev won't analyze why he wants to spank his teacher. Feedback: N/A (I'm assuming they'd love feedback, but I can't speak for the author!) Fandom: Original Pairing: N/A Warnings: M/M. Anal, BDSM, D/s, OC, Oral, Spank, WIP Solo story or chaptered story: Chaptered, still ongoing. URL: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600105419 This story isn't getting nearly as much attention as it deserves. The summary is probably at least partially at fault -that right there doesn't exactly put you on the edge of your seat- as well as the fact that it's not about shapeshifters nor the undead nor sex slaves nor squeeing high school boys. Well it does feature high school boys, but none of them squee. The story is that Sev, the main character, is trying to figure out his sexuality, his friendships, and what to do with his life- and while that's almost trivial, that's what I like about it; these are real people with real people problems and real-people reactions. And then there's the little fact that Sev, more or less by accident, stumbles upon the insight that he desperately wants to spank his teacher. Of course the teacher, although tempted, obviously can't allow that kind of thing, not from an eighteen-year-old, not from his student. What follows is a constant struggle for the upper hand, a precarious balance of power, forever shifting one way or the other, sometimes subtly so, sometimes blatantly. I'm enjoying that a lot, as well as the fact that Sev is quite obviously a teenager, not in name only -sometimes rash, sometimes clumsy; young, but not a child anymore- and the teacher just as obviously isn't. The author has stated they aren't sure yet how "dark" the BDSM is going to get. So far it is spanking (and consensual, although I suppose that's implied in the tag) and I have a hard time picturing this suddenly plunging headlong into BDSM dungeons, but of course it isn't my story. In any case, if you like original fiction and you enjoy reading about characters that have a little bit of depth to them, give this a shot!

Oohh, interesting points. I disagree- in the sense that it's possible to write about very serious topics in a not very serious manner. That's why I made the distinction between a rape scene and a rape fantasy; the latter is very obviously not something that would happen in real life (you know, the whole "but actually it feels good and deep down you start to like it and your rapist is kinda hot, too"). To me, the difference in my reaction stems from the degree of realism in the story. Also, people have different kinks- some fantasize about being forced to submit, about pain, about being the receiving end of knife play. I, personally, am deeply disturbed by overly violent porn; screaming and pleading and crying literally nauseates me. But if someone enjoys it because they fantasize about being the one pleading and crying, does that mean they lack empathy? And with regards to the other side: (found on psychforums.com) This person may have issues, but empathy doesn't seem to be one of them. This, on the other hand, I agree with. Actual violence kinks aside, authors joyfully inflict all sorts of suffering on their characters as some quick-fix way of adding drama to their story, and more often than not I feel like if they had been exposed to any of it, even second- or third hand exposed, they might not be as flippant about it. I read (well, started) a story once where the main character had been sexually abused as a child, whored out, made into an alcoholic by age six, had a violent father, a mother in a mental hospital, had to drop out of school early to work full-time and ended up with a stalkerish boyfriend, and that was just the one character. It was completely ridiculous. You could write a whole novel about each of those issues. I've spent the last year attending to a survivor, and yes, it has definitely made me more... more easily offended, if you will. I'm more likely to find stories downright ignorant now. My definition of what passes as a rape fantasy has narrowed quite a bit.

...I like you. On topic; my personal kink is power play, but I can't write straight up fantasies, because that little thought of "...yeah but nobody would actually react like that" keeps sneaking in. So my characters start behaving like people really would, and suddenly it's less wet dream and more, well, fucked up. I wrote a rape scene recently, from the perspective of someone watching it. It was awful to write, I won't lie (I tried to get the humiliation across, and the loss of dignity, and there were parts that I had a hard time typing out and proofreading)- but the thing is, the whole story is about what that one night does to the main characters and their relationship, and I felt like, to make them and their actions believable, I had to get the readers in the same spot. I couldn't gloss over the rape and then expect the readers to get where my characters were coming from. And then, of course, a lot of stories aren't near as bad or explicit as you might expect after just reading the tags. Something labeled "RapeFic" may well be a fantasy, not a realistic description of rape. But you still have to warn for it, because a survivor might get triggered by rape fantasies, too; same goes for violence, for death, etc. As for why do people write graphic violence: two three reasons, really; some need it for their story (like me, that time), some find it a turn-on in its own right. Bloodplay and voraphilia are a thing. As for the third, having horrible things happening to your darling character is a quick and easy way to get your readers to fawn over him (let's be honest, we're talking about a him), and the more opportunity you give them to be scared and sad for him, the better!

Yeah- forget your glasses, lose your contacts, that kind of thing. I have to be fall-on-my-face plastered to be in a state where I wouldn't notice a scarred face, "slightly drunk" is not even going to come close. In terms of black-outs, that heavily depends on the person- one of my friends won't remember anything after a couple of beers; I can spend half the night puking and I'll still remember every bit of it (unfortunately). But I think you were going for a "both move on with their lives" thing rather than literally not remembering, no? If you don't have that much experience with alcohol I'd say have them have a glass or three of wine (or beer) to feel cheerful and adventurous, and go with the lost glasses plot- you don't want to end up having them only tipsy after three bottles of vodka, or black-out drunk after a glass of wine. This sort of stuff shows. More than anything I'd recommend using spellcheck.

I didn't comment on your facebook page, mostly because I don't want any RL / porn writer crossovers, but let me just say I sure am glad that you HAVE it (and Twitter) and a quick google search let me know what was going on. So, woot for social media and for AFF using them!

Or, you know, I'm ESL, it could always be that. -.- Is it wrong to say I'm flattered? Yeah, that was how I took it. Thank you for taking the time to read! And review, too! I'll try to return the favor, even if I don't know the people you're writing about. ;P

So I feel like a review whore doing this, like I should be grateful that I got any reviews at all and not go asking for more. But the thing is that I'm currently writing a story that's flowing out like no other story did before it, I'm seriously in love with it (the two of which don't necessarily go hand in hand) and I would desperately like some feedback because I can't tell what this "it just sort of all flows out in one go" is doing to the writing quality. There's violence in it, a fair few people die (although nobody that the reader would be attached to), but I think the biggest problem is that the main character is currently hurting, and not in a delicately tragic way. He's angry and hateful, and there isn't even any sex right now to make up for it. Not even hatesex. Not even rape (>.>). So will anybody stick with me through the depressing part of my story? It gets better, I swear! Author: attackegg Title: Berserk Summary: Sometimes you don't get away with raping them... sometimes they snap. The bloodiest kind of love story Feedback: I'd *like* to hear that the story is working, that it's convincing; who doesn't? But if it isn't, by all means tell me. Anyway feedback, yes, please. Fandom: Original Fiction Pairing: / Warnings: M/M sex, the usual range. Rape in the first chapter (unprettified), none after that; violence and death a little longer. After the current point only seen in memories. Solo story or chaptered story: Chaptered, probably between ten and fifteen. URL: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600105569 If anyone were to drop me a line, even if it's just to tell me that it really hurts to read (because of the content, not the quality >.>), I'd be forever grateful.

I'll say this: Author: TheBlackadder Titile: Overt Religiosity Summery: Caleb and the First had another weapon that no one knew about, not even her. The only women Caleb didn't completely dispise although you wouldn't be able to tell by how he treats her. Feedback: AS MUCH AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE PLEASE!!! Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Caleb Pairing: The only actual pairing is between Caleb and the Original Character Annabelle. M/F Warnings: There is a great deal of violence, abuse, gory, masogynism, biblical confrentation, humiliation, and sexual content. Not always pleasent sex either. D/s, Humil, M/s, OC, Preg, Slave, Tort, Violence, WIP Solo or Chaptered Story: Chaptered ...this hurts you. Other than the woman/women slip-up, these are all things that any spell check would catch. Personally, I don't click on stories with misspelled summaries (because I fully expect the story itself to continue in the same vein, and that's going to be zero fun), and I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in that. Your title and summary are crucial in selling the story, make sure they're as perfect as you can make them.

Aw and here I thought someone already remembered me after all of ten posts. :/

I've said that, haven't I. ...Stalker. ...so I have this really nice COMPLETE Original Fiction where I tried to explore someone's realistic reaction to the old "kidnapped by the mob" premise... ;P I was going to be all I DON'T BITE. But I actually do!

I agree, seeing that at the end of a page wouldn't bother me at all. I've also seen "My ego is small and can't hunt for itself", which I thought was cute and amusing rather than annoying.

Oooohhhh excellent point. I forgot about those! D'oh- I don't know why fandom and pairing didn't even occur to me. I mean I don't write fanfiction, but that one's sort of obvious. >.> Hypothetical question, but if I wanted my inbox to go supernova, what fandom and pairing would you suggest? ;P edit: Same here, but that one kind of makes sense to me in a not-fangirl way; a oneshot wraps up at the end. I mean even if you make people care about the characters, the story is resolved by the end; in an ongoing story people not only have more time to get properly invested in the characters, but are also left wondering and hoping and fearing and, hopefully, thinking about the story until the next update. You can end a chapter in the middle of an intense scene, and being emotional is conducive to leaving reviews. At least for me.

So I'm aware that getting reviews is a thing that has been discussed before- but usually, the distinction is made from one author to another, or one story to another, and I feel like what I'm looking at is a different angle. I am currently writing an original story that has... fairly dark themes. There is a fair bit of death, and the main character gets raped and outed as gay to his community, all in one fell swoop in the prologue- it's a bit gruesome, and I can understand that it doesn't draw as much enthusiasm as my fluffier story. Still, that chapter got four reviews. For chapters two and three, there haven't been any. And that's led to me wondering what it is, exactly, that makes people review or not- bad writing aside, you know, because my writing isn't likely to have changed that much from one chapter to another. -The main character takes to hunting and killing rapists (and if you think that's a bit extreme: I'm aware. The story is called Berserk. ;P) I don't think it's the violence itself that puts people off, because there was a fair bit of it in the prologue- but maybe that was okay because it was only the antagonists or out of self-defense? Maybe people are having a problem with a protagonist who actively kills others. -There was sex in the prologue, and there hasn't been any, since. I really hope that has nothing to do with it, because that was rape, or as Whoopi Goldberg would say, "rape rape", and seriously not meant to be sexy. -The story is about how the events of that night affect the main character for years to come, how it hurts his relationship. The prologue has some tender moments between the main character and his sweetheart, but the story itself takes place years later and there's currently zero tenderness happening. -He's pretty much hit rock bottom. He hates everything. But he's not being delicate and tragic, but crude and hateful. So my question to you is the following: What kind of thing have you noticed to get reactions? Is it several? Do all of them have to be present; is one of them good enough, do some outweigh the others? If you wanted to write a story with the sole intent of maximizing your review count, what would you do, plot- and writing wise? I've noticed that stories that have nothing but misery and rape in them will still garner reviews, whereas the NoSex tag will stop people from even clicking on the story. Thoughts?

I agree. If it's omniscient, then it's you (the narrator) talking anyway, so you can go with what's natural for you. If you do limited third person, I'd go with what would be natural for that character, and try to switch that if I switch to a different character. Of course that's subjective; it's entirely possible to pull off a story without worrying about this. But to my mind this would be one of the things that make a good story great.

Hmm yes I've seen some of that- on the whole, though, I find that the people who beg and plead for reviews are still at least fairly nice about it, and that doesn't bother me. I've only seen one instance of someone getting testy and condescending about quantity and quality of their reviews (I, uh, wasn't very nice in my response...). Ahhh yes I wish there were fewer vampires and demons around... Yes, yes, a thousand times yes-! Is that where you have the word, and then part of the word repeated right after it? I've seen that before, should I tell someone about it? I don't mean garbled words, I mean flat out disregard for anything resembling coherent spelling and punctuation, sometimes even in the summary. Needless to say, I don't click on those. :/

It's true, at first, when I was getting one review per chapter (and those always from the same person!) I wasn't entirely sympathetic to other people wanting them- especially if those people had reviews in the double digits! I've become a tiny bit nicer, since then, but that may be due to more reviews rather than any improvement of my personality. On my good days, I try. On my bad days, I think, "If you can't even be arsed to click SPELLCHECK, then I can't be arsed to type even just the word 'beta'". That's a mentality that I don't understand. There are days when I'm so glad I only hang around Original Fiction- at least without any fandom, people don't arrive at the doorstep foaming at the mouth already. What I see around there (behavior-wise, stories not necessarily -.-) seems pretty reasonable, both on the part of reviewers and of the authors. Is that also the impression of people who work behind the scenes?

I have the same problem. >.> In response to the OP: you're always writing from some character's perspective, no? So that character's way of talking, and choice of words, should be present throughout. If you let him say "biscuits" but then refer to them as "cookies", you, the author, shines through. You might as well write "I personally disagree, but then Harry said this...". It's one of the things that makes a story believable, that makes it so much better, when you can feel like you're in the character's head, and for that, all the text has to be written like the character would think it. I'd even go so far as to say if you have one American and one British character and you jump between their POVs from one paragraph to the next (which I'm very much against, but people do it), then your use of language has to jump every time, too.

I support this. Especially the last two. See, I'm one of those people who don't always leave a review. I try to, to some extent, because I also write and I remember getting one review for every 5000 words I wrote, at first (which I chalked up to the fact that I didn't jump right into the smut ;P). Yes, it was sparse. Yes, I was insanely excited to finally see that count rise. So I know how important feedback is, even if, like BronxWench said, I write because the stories want out and not primarily because I am looking for fans. At the same time, a lot of times I read stories that... don't inspire me to say anything. Stories I keep clicking on when they come up, but that I wouldn't remember to search out. What am I supposed to write? "Um so that was alright... not offensive... will probably click on it again, if I have time... didn't provoke any sort of thought"-? Is it really my responsibility as a reviewer to find something, anything, to say, no matter what? Isn't it my responsibility as an author to write something that will animate people to speak up? And if I really really can't seem to do that, isn't it up to me to find and ask people behind the scenes what it might be that makes my story so unmemorable? Then there's another thing- if I read a story and think I wouldn't even know where to start with concrit, I don't leave any. This may come across as selfish, but I read to be entertained, not to find work. If I'm going to spend lots of time trying to help people -and I do- it's going to be spent on real people in my life, not on a stranger's story that needs help with grammar and spelling and formatting and pacing and realism and not being too generous with the drama ladle and seems like it's half-hearted at best, anyway. This may be harsh, but I think it might be true for a lot of potential reviewers- as an author, I'm not entitled to making strangers do my work for me, and if their review would start with a deep sigh and a whole page of notes, they might choose not to leave one. Of course the people posting in this thread obviously don't need help with their spelling and grammar and spacing, so this part might not apply to anyone here. But it's there.

I think that's what it was. I'm about 97.3% sure of it, but I can't remember the name nor the author nor when it was posted. Was that deleted, or can anyone help? Thanks.

Don't be disheartened- I know criticism hurts (quality-of-writing criticism more so than disagreement with plot and character choices, in my eyes) but at the same time it means that people think your story is worth the time it takes to articulate said criticism. The truth is that there are plenty of stories that I just close and never comment on at all because they are beyond help and I wouldn't even know where to start, whereas this one is one I keep reading. I'm not following a whole lot of stories right now, but this is one of them. If this is just for fun -and I suppose it really is for anyone who posts here, right? But some people are really ambitious and some just want to mess around and have fun- then all those comments are really nothing more than suggestions. You're not trying to win a Pulitzer with this, just trying to entertain yourself and others by telling a little story, and that's a goal I'd say you've achieved. By all means accept that beta offer, but don't hate your story- it certainly doesn't deserve it. The one thing I really don't get is how anyone can get demanding about something they don't pay for- writers aren't entitled to reviews, and readers are not entitled to updates... at all, and certainly not in any particular frequency; yet I've seen people on both sides get nasty about it. I don't have any kind of sympathy for either phenomenon, and people writing that kind of messages don't deserve your attention, ever.

No, it was on The Reeling by TTBE. I remembered later.