Shadowknight12

Elspeth: Thank you for that! You've no idea how much I actually grinned upon reading that. It was exactly the reaction I was aiming for! Rest assured, Therenil does play into the story. He comes after Thrum, in fact. Just don't expect any happy fun stuff with him. His life SUCKS. Also, I don't think reviewing when a new chapter comes out is against the rules, even if you're the only one doing so. I honestly can't tell you how much I appreciate reviews or even comments on this thread. Hits are nice and good, but you can't tell with that if people really like the story or if it just has a catchy title/summary, and then the content itself is worthless crap. Hahahah, sure, why not! If more elements were like that, I'm sure shamanism would become a popular practice! As an aside, I'm not at all satisfied with the chapter. It lacked detail in a lot of places, and the actual sex scene was rushed because I just wanted to get it fucking DONE, so I can move on with the story. I normally like to reread and correct a chapter a hundred times before posting it, but for this particular story, I decided that I was going to get it finished no matter what, and that I wasn't going to obsess over a given chapter. It just makes matters worse.

Meh. Sure, why not, let 'em have it. I personally don't think I'd enjoy it myself, but I don't really think it's wrong (assuming all the myriad legal issues are dealt with). Obviously, I'd believe that all spouses should approve the induction of a new one, of course. Otherwise shit just gets zany.

Hey thanks, Serronas! Glad to hear you like the characters and the formatting, I try hard on both. Yes! I'm always dying for feedback. What cock is to Aeranil, feedback is to me. Thank you! I absolutely loathe it when a journal fiction repeats the same thing over and over again. It's annoying. And as a writer, it's ultimately a waste of your time, unless the story REALLY improves as a consequence. Hah, looks like everybody loves Daeron and Aeranil. Nobody likes the quiet ones, it seems! Well, I don't want to give away too much about Aeranil's past (he'll get his own Very Special Interlude at some point, which will shed some light on his past), but let me just quote Wikipedia for a second here: "Conversely, some rape survivors become hyper-sexual or promiscuous following sexual attacks, sometimes as a way to reassert a measure of control over their sexual relations." Furthermore, I'm going to explore the cycle of abused-turned-abuser with Aeranil, something which should become more evident in his next entry. Fawnheart is, actually, first on my "To read" list. When I have some free time, I'm going to start reading up on her works. She seems like a talented and prolific writer! Don't worry about the reviews, I'm exceedingly grateful that you took the time to tell me your thoughts about my story. Hmmmmm, should I spoil it or not?

More reviews! You guys ROCK. Excellent! That's an awesome reaction to get from a reader, when a previously disliked character (almost) gets pitied. Thanks for the feedback, Elspeth! Bwahahahah! That surely would've been an interesting turn of events, right? Hey, it's you! Thanks for the feedback, you really touched on points I had been concerned about. It's hard to keep all the characters separate, with their own distinct voices. After a while, they all begin to blur into the same narrative. I completely agree with what you say, and I have to say I wasn't wholly satisfied with the chapter when I posted it. I did a rewrite just now, trying to go back to the old Daeron. Well, I'm excited about the Dragon storyline too. There has been only one hint thus far, but it's very subtle. I am aiming for a reread reward with this story, where you go back to previous chapters and go "OMG it was RIGHT there in front of me all along!" when you discover a plot twist. I don't know if I'll be able to pull it off, but I hope for the best. I think we'll finally start to see some non-Aeranil sex from now on. It might take a while, but it'll happen. LOL. Well, Varen is getting the spotlight now. It's juuuuust about to shift to someone else. Anyway, thanks again, I honestly wasn't expecting readers to post such awesome reviews. They really give me an extra boost to work hard on improving my writing quality.

LMFAO! A dwarven druid! That's hilarious and disturbing at the same time. Well, thanks for the vote of confidence! I realize it could be much worse, but I tend to go hard on myself when it comes to writing. I actually rewrite every chapter a few times before posting it, making minor edits here and there, and then I do it again another handful of times after I've posted it. LOVED the fur-glitter suggestion. Definitely using that and other stuff in the same vein. And the teleport bit gave me an idea for later, too. As for the other thing... well, I tried my best. I rewrote the entire combat scene and tried to reflect their skill differences better without giving away too much information or breaking Willing Suspension of Disbelief. Or sounding so random! I will try to improve with my next battle scenes (and I can only get better with practice, right?), so that next time it flows much better. Once the story shifts from journal format to omniscient third person, it should be easier to write this kind of stuff. Thanks again for the help!

It's Review Replying Time! *insert horribly inappropriate joke here* Thank you, Dierdre! I'm glad you liked it, it was a tough chapter to write. wanderingaddict: Hah! That was definitely a thorough review. I'm a-burstin' with ideas! I'll definitely keep your suggestions in mind for future chapters. They're all extremely useful and pretty much exactly what I was looking for. So thanks! The interlude: LOL! No, it's not a ghostwolf! Hmmmmmmmmm. I thought it would be SO obvious, with all the hints I thought I had dropped. I'll have to see if the next Interludes help flesh out Garos. It's also pretty difficult to believably explain to the reader stuff that's happening in two different timelines without sounding heavy-handed. I mean, I always thought that huge "PRESENT TIME" and "FOUR YEARS AGO" signs at the beginning of every chapter would be kind of lame. Ah well. We'll see when the next interlude comes along if I manage to make it clearer. As an aside, no, Garos is not a shaman. Keep guessing. Oh, and the shaman is going to be an orc. Cliché, I know, but the shaman from the old WCIII game (big body unlike most casters, wolf fur, steel claws) was dead sexy. Combat: Yikes! I guess it shows that it was the first combat scene I've ever written. And the worst part is that I wholeheartedly agree with you AND I have actually complained about authors doing exactly that! This is a rather humbling experience, to be sure, thinking "Oh, I'm so much smarter than that! I'll never make such blatant mistakes!" and then... "Oh, shit! What the fuck did I just do!" A part of me wants to quietly rewrite the whole thing and then pretend this embarrassment never existed in the first place. My main problem is that I need to emphasize a connection between Daeron and moonlight (it's important for the plot!) and I thought that having him cast moonfire and starfire would be a good way to achieve that. Unimaginative, I know! I realize that now (note to self: trade your metaphorical hacksaw for a scalpel and learn some subtlety!). So instead I'll just do what I wanted him to do in the first place, which is get into kitty form and shred those motherfuckers. Varen, on the other hand, actually produced the effect I wanted, but in a bad way. I wanted him to be inexperienced and pretty useless in combat, knowing only how to cast heals, buffs and shields (as an aside, he does have shadow spells, he's cast Mind Control and Silence on Aero, remember? He's just unaware he has them), and getting pretty messed up as a result. The only "real" battle Varen's ever been is when he helped his people take over the Exodar. And even there, he was relegated to the back on healing duties. The idea is that he's the IC equivalent of a first-time player who just picked a race/class combo because it sounded cool and he has no idea whatsoever of what the hell he's supposed to be doing. I am going to include some mental comments on Aero's behalf about his lack of proper combat behavior. Anyway, in case you're wondering, I'll rewrite that combat scene to make it at least tolerable. So by the time the next update comes along, it'll be done. Thanks again for your detailed reviews! They're really more than one could ask for.

Yes, yes he can! And he will... sort of. Thank you! This has been an establishing character moment for Varen (DUN DUN DUN!), brought to you by the letter V. Hahahah, you took Aero's side! That's great! Now I have a reader on each side! Now seriously, I'm so glad I was able to evoke this reaction. It means I succeeded at not making either side more "in the tight" than the other. I'm not sure whether I should be glad that you're pissed at Bron and Varen or not. I can assure you that they will, one way or another, be forced to face the consequences of their actions. But, of course, the same goes for Daeron and Aeranil. Pyroblasting might ensue. Heheheheheh. That is an awesome review. Thank you!

Hahah, thanks, Elspeth! Poor Bron had the equivalent experience of waking up next to the wrong person after a night of heavy drinking, only without the aforementioned drinking to actually give him an excuse for his actions. Well, you're not the first to say that, so I'll try to slow down on the updates... Note to self: When you write the big-ass Author's Note at the end of the story, remember to explain that Varen and Sha'ira suffered the Westermarck Effect, whereas Aeranil and [X] did not.

Yeah, no kidding! This place is like a ghost town. Email notifications ftw, right? Hmmmm, yes, I do see where you're coming from. I am actually struggling with Varen, since he's a wide-eyed, peaceful, idealistic guy who sort of takes life as it comes. That means he's not bitchy like Aero or angry like Daeron. But Bron is also fairly circumspect and his personality DID show through, so I might have to try harder to show who he really is. And since nobody's been actually paying attention to his body (except Aero, but he's only had a glance), his body type hasn't been described. Also, LMFAO at the "floating windchimes" bit. Totally stealing that for Aero. So yeah, I should definitely try to flesh out Varen a little more. LOL, that such a hilarious analogy. Varen himself is actually "small for his kind" which means that he's still muscular (I'm going to assume that massive muscular hypertrophy is a racial trait for draenei males) but actually closer to what a normal tauren or buff night elf would be like. His type of innocence is actually something I want to explore. There's going to be a sort of dichotomy between "childlike naïveté" and "ridiculous capacity for forgiveness because he doesn't understand evil" that later on will be... oh, I don't want to spoil it. Let's just say that there's HEAVY character development in the menu for him. See? THAT is *exactly* the kind of feedback I love getting. Someone telling me "Hey, dude, I think that X, Y and Z could use some improvement." So thank you very much! Hee! Thanks again! I'm actually surprised I don't see any blood elves (or Horde members, for that matter) in fics going "Holy shit! Blue Eredar are a part of the Alliance now!" that often. Since, you know, only the Alliance races themselves would know the whole story behind it. But Aero doesn't care what Varen is, only that he's hot. We'll see a more egregious version of this way of thinking sometime soon. Awww, man. That must SUCK. My condolences. I'll respond to your review first: Aero is definitely not one to waste an opportunity. He hadn't gotten any in over a day and he wasn't going to waste the opportunity to grab the bull by the horns, as you so adequately put it. Thank you for the compliments! This chapter is a pivotal one, since it sets in motion a cascade of events that will end up cementing the group's cohesion. Ohohoh, loved that you're thinking about who's going to get who! I myself only know for sure ONE of the couples. And there's still two more main characters to introduce! But, just for fun: Aero/Daeron would be very angry sex with D/s and abuse undertones. It'd be a rough grudgefuck. Bron/Daeron would be gentle, sweet lovemaking with both of them taking their time to really savour the experience. Varen/Daeron would be awkward, inexperienced, sometimes rushed, sometimes slow, but ultimately VERY intimate and sweet; with both of them having absolutely nothing in their minds but each other. Daeron's catharsis would likely not come FROM sex, but would lead TO sex. You'll see what I mean when it finally happens. As an aside, I take seriously the whole "Mages need a high Intellect to be good" thing. I see mages as very logical and clever. Airheads do not make it to mages or warlocks. If someone is an arcanist (especially an accomplished one), they are smarter than your Average Joe. They might not be very wise (that's Spirit to me), but they know how to think logically. This means that Aero, shameless slut that he is, is actually a very smart person who is really good at appearing to be a sex-crazed airhead (you haven't been the only one to underestimate him! ). Seizing opportunities is something that practically makes him who he is. You'll see a good example of this when I get to his participation in the three wars and how he acted during the Scourge's invasion of Quel'Thalas. Oh yeah, Daeron has this weird way of thinking where he doesn't really believe he'll succeed, but he'll keep trying because he feels it's his duty as a druid. Bron is actually the brains behind the whole operation, but I haven't had a chance to illustrate this. Heheheh, glad you find Aero entertaining. He's very fun to write. He'd be all "wazzup bitches!" if it didn't shatter Willing Suspension of Disbelief. In his encounter with the orcs, for example, he's totally walking to his inn with one in each arm like saying "Look at what I got! Aw yeah." Also, it's GREAT to hear that you liked the smut in that chapter. I was beginning to wonder if I was awful at writing sex scenes. And yes, I completely get what you mean. I should warn you that he's going to experience some character development too (pretty much everyone will), so I hope I won't disappoint you with that. Oh, so he's the story's Zoidberg? Well, I'm ecstatic you told me that, actually. I'll work extra hard to flesh him out and make him a realistic character (and use your liking of him as a barometer! ). I was planning to give Daeron and Aero precedence, but it seems I misjudged the "spotlight balance." LOL! Remarks around Aero's name? Like what? "Pimpmastah Aer-o?" Hahahah! Aero's personality was born from a blend of a typical blood elf's disdain (remember the Blood Elf Engineer from The Frozen Throne? He said something like "An elf would've thought of something better" and it totally stuck with me) and being a mage in an arcane-centric society. There's also some family issues that will be deeper explored in the future (there's an "Incest" tag in the summary, after all...) and a certain underlying nihilism mixed with joie de vivre. Yeah, he's weird. Oh, and THANK YOU for writing all of this! It's really keeping me inspired to write, dissolving writer's block, providing me with guidance when I don't know where to go with character development, etc.; and I really can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate your reviews and posts.

Oh, shit! Sorry, dude! Boy, do I feel stupid! It even sort of had the tone of a "finished closing note" or something. I should've known. Once again, terribly sorry. But don't worry, I'll just pretend I haven't read any of this. Your secret's safe with me.

I don't really hate Mary Sues. I reserve my hatred for people who've actively done something against me. Instead, I pity Mary Sue, and by extension, her writer. I see the creator of a Mary Sue as a sad, desperate soul wanting so badly a sliver of self-esteem that they literally have to conjure it out of thin air. Like a malnourished body that cannibalises itself to survive, so does the writer's self-esteem lives vicariously through its creation, sustaining the fantasy that makes their life worth living. But it's also a necessary process in every nubile writer's journey of self-discovery. How are they supposed to know how to write realistic, compelling characters, when they don't know what to avoid? We should cherish the existence of Mary Sue, and her valiant sacrifice for all of us. Truly, it takes someone that perfect to fulfil the role of anti-example.

Oh, I remember this one! I really loved your logic puzzle, had a lot of fun reading it and solving it. Most of the typical logic puzzles are bland and flavorless, but you manage to make it extremely interesting for the reader! In case this doesn't reach you, I'll leave you a review as well.

This should be an interesting brain exercise: * A blind, mad seer and their faithful companion, alone in the world. Companion falls in love/lust, seer reciprocates; themes about consent, ethics and "what is madness?" are explored throughout the story. * Happy couple is having fun, one of them dies. The surviving spouse/lover is visited in the subsequent weeks by the apparition of their beloved. It is never made clear if the ghost is truly there or if the living spouse/lover is steadily going insane with grief. * A warrior is shunned from their society because of their refusal to kill. He or she meets a former pacifist who was forced to resort to violence when threatened. Former pacifist believes warrior's way of thinking will not last, warrior remains resolute. * A Changeling: The Lost story about a motley trying to remain sane in an ever changing world. Touches themes of identity, madness, reality, illusions, acceptance, loss and hollowness. * An archer in a quest for revenge is given a certain amount of special arrows (can be replaced by a gunslinger with special bullets). Using each of them guarantees a sure shot, but once the arrow/bullet is fired, it's gone forever. A healer appears after they've spent nearly all of the special ammunition, and tells the archer that the arrows can be used to save lives in a special ritual. Will the archer choose the selfless path, or will they continue with their vengeance? What if the lives to be saved are those of loved ones? What if the object of their revenge will kill more if it is not stopped? * Two political prisoners of radically different backgrounds will be executed by a corrupt government, and they're put in the same cell during their final days. There's nothing left to lose. Their time is running out. * A person sees a terrible fate befalling the world in the next few days. Nobody believes him/her. What can a single person do to save the ones they love? Isn't it better to simply give up and embrace the end? * A person must die so that another may live. The one that volunteers to die is simply looking for an honourable way to commit suicide. The one that will live is a cheerful, kind person who slowly begins to make the other realise that life is worth living. When the moment comes to make the sacrifice, the volunteer hesitates. Should they sacrifice themselves, after all the things they've never had a chance to do? At the cost of the life of the very same person that made them realise that? * A hunter from a starving tribe sets out to bring food to their people. They encounter a wounded animal, once which could easily feed the whole tribe for weeks. When the hunter approaches, the animal takes on a human form and pleads for their life. Choices choices. * Two soulmates have constantly reincarnated through the ages, instinctively seeking each other out. This time, they find themselves in opposite sides of an all-consuming war. Desertion means death, and places to hide are almost non-existent. Do they run forever or commit suicide, hoping that next time their lot in life will be better? * A race has been almost entirely wiped out. The survivors must do their best to rebuild, and that means doing their part to breed lots and lots of children. What happens when two people fall in love, even if they're already meant to marry someone else? Do they fulfil their duty to their people or follow their hearts? Works better with F/F and M/M. * Two life-long friends come of age. A light-hearted, fun story ensues as they discover the wonders, sorrows, mysteries and secrets of life together. * A person is condemned for something they did not do, and exiled from their community. Enraged at this, this person's friend packs up and leaves with them. Come hell or high water, it's them against the world. * A soldier after the war comes home to discover everything has changed, nobody recognises their sacrifice, and there's no way they can become a normal member of society again. Someone reaches out to give them a helping hand, and the soldier holds on like a lifeline. And the one I'm writing, myself: * The world is tainted by war, hatred, fear and much more. Those who try to cleanse it must risk being tainted themselves in the process. Can purity be maintained or is it doomed to fade? Does a hero sacrifice himself, taking the taint into himself for the betterment of the world, or do they try to keep themselves pure and inspire others to do the same? Do the bonds of friendship transcend it all, or are they too, easily tainted? If anyone is inspired to write anything based on any of the above, drop me a link and I'll be happy to review.

Like the others have said, there's not an actual nerve in the chest area that can lead to paralysis. At most, you'll get your wind knocked out, feel faint and dizzy for a moment, or might actually faint. In extremely rare cases with very hard blows to the sternum, your heart might stop and you might go into cardiac arrest (I will repeat that this is VERY rare, since it requires perfect timing and force on the blow's behalf). The nerves that you are looking for are in the back, as Karategirl mentioned. However, the neck is NOT a good place to do this, since that's where the respiratory nerves emerge from the spine, and severing them can lead to an inability to breathe (and shortly thereafter, asphyxiation and death). What I'd suggest, based on what you're asking, is a very strong blow to the back, or severing the spinal cord with a bladed instrument. The extent of the paralysis will depend on the location of the injury. If you want them alive but completely paralysed, then just below the neck will do. A little lower and they'll have control of their arms. As for the "intense amount of pain" bit, then cracking someone's sternum or ribs hurts like HELL. And what's worst, the person can't even breathe properly without suffering periodic flashes of pain whenever they inhale and/or exhale. Hope this helps.

It's so strange to see an actual Author's Note! I'm so used to the short, to-the-point AN you see these days that reading all of these was an awesome treat. Reading insights about the way authors craft their stories is one of my favourite pastimes, and yours was exceptional. I'm impressed by the way you handled the lore bits, and how a short, almost throwaway quest inspired you to produce something so amazing. And from what you said at first, it looks like Fawnheart deserves lots of praise, too! As I said in my review, I'm quite pleased by the way you handled Malton and Gilveradin (btw, I would've gone back and changed his name, but that's just my obsession with details showing through), they're both extremely unique characters and it's always a huge pleasure to read about them. Gilveradin's character definitely shines through. I picked up on pretty much everything you mentioned about him. The ruthlessness, the loyalty to his loved ones, the fact that if someone gets up in his business, he's going to MAIM the fuckers, etc. His soft spot for Mal is what keeps him from being an unlikeable character. He's also so silly when he's drunk, which helps balance his overall ruthlessness. It's sort of the inverse with Mal. Mal is "soft" and "stupid" on the outside (to strangers and his father, anyway) but inwardly, he's pretty solid and stable, being the grounding rock for Gilveradin's unmeasured anger. The way the two interact is probably the selling point in the story. It's pretty common for writers to just skip ahead to the sex and/or having lust as the main driving force of a relationship. While that's perfectly fine, it's profoundly satisfying to see relationships that bloom from friendships, with people who are comfortable around one another, who trust and confide in each other. It really makes for a whole other kettle of fish to read such stories. Anyway, I think that's all for now. I'll make an addendum if I think of anything else to say. P.S.: LOL at the whiskey dick thing. Normally I ignore the fact that it's unrealistic for VERY drunk people to have sex (it also has a similar effect on women, since alcohol depresses the nervous system), since it's pretty ubiquitous in erotica, but the fact that you actually KNEW about this and took it into consideration is just another sign of what a great writer you are.

It came to my attention recently that overly long author notes and replying to reviews were not allowed. Therefore, I am moving them here. Link to the story in question: Cleansing The Taint If anyone has ANYTHING at all to say, please, don't hesitate to post. I will probably be editing this post with more replies to reviews, as I get them. Thank you for reading!