FairySlayer

It’s been a long while since I’ve had a haircut. I’m starting to look like Doc Brown from Back to the Future. Maybe that’s why I’m thinking four-dimensionally.

Ten questions I'd ask various superheroes if they were real:
1. Squirrel Girl: What are you going to call yourself when you're forty?
2. Black Panther and Aquaman: Shouldn't you guys be, like, at home settling trade disputes instead of running around in tight pants?
3. Martian Manhunter: Suspenders with shorts? Is that a Martian thing?
4. America Chavez: If you just gently poked some cookie dough with your finger, would it make star shapes?
5. Iron Man: What do you do if you have an itch?
6. Beast Boy: So, when you turn into an animal, is it always a boy animal?
7. Wolverine: If you and Vandal Savage got in a fight, which of you do you think would get bored and go home first?
8. The Flash: Do women actually like the speed thing? Because, you know...
9. The Thing: Do you think the right moisturizer would help?
10. Violet Parr: Have you ever searched your own name on a site called Rule34?

While browsing Paheal, I accidentally clicked on an ad link, and now ads for Eve's Toys are appearing in the middle of news articles when I read them on my phone. Time to clear my cache, methinks.

My evolving list of chores:
1. Clean and polish front door
2. Buy caulk for cabinets
3. Laundry
1. Swap out front-door wreath that's been there since Christmas
2. Clean and polish front door
3. Buy caulk for cabinets
4. Laundry
1. Buy poison for wasps' nest on front door frame
2. Swap out front-door wreath that's been there since Christmas
3. Clean and polish front door
4. Buy caulk for cabinets
5. Laundry
I’m never gonna get to that laundry.

Ten ways you'll explain to your grandkids all those pictures of you in a face mask.
1. "This was right before I fought Goro in the semifinals."
2. "Unfortunately, our Kickstarter campaign for M*A*S*H: The Musical only collected a dollar eighty-nine."
3. “Yeah, your gramma really loved it when I’d put on this mask and- You know what, never mind.”
4. “They used to make all the ugly kids wear these. I hope puberty is kinder to you than it was to me.”
5. "...an' I did it all with nothin' but my horse, my pearl-handled six-shooter, an' that there mask."
6. “I could teach you, but be warned: The way of the shinobi is not an easy one.”
7. “On the up side, I got paid five hundred dollars for being on When Rhinoplasties Go Wrong.”
8. “This was long before you could just buy a kit to make meth.”
9. “Safe sex made one hell of a comeback in the 2020s.”
10. “I tell you, the very last thing you want when you’re fighting zombies is to smash one in the head and get splatter in your mouth.”

I had to go to the post office yesterday. It was surprisingly busy, and it wasn’t easy to keep six feet away from everyone (although there were lines of tape on the floor for the folks standing in line). Ahead of me in line, a white man and a Latina woman got into an argument about one of them (I wasn’t sure who) cutting in front of them, and the guy told the woman to “go back to Mexico.” (Never mind that she spoke with an American accent.) Just overhearing that made me feel awful for the next hour. 

If you have Netflix and you’re looking for a fun animated series to watch, I’d like to recommend Glitch Techs. The main characters are fun and likable (Miko’s way of speaking reminds me a lot of Star Butterfly’s), and the show is full of amusing video game references that even non-fanatics like me get.

Feeling kind of bummed about my legit writing right now. 
25 rejections (and counting) from agents regarding my first book. Stuck on my second book. No good ideas for my third book.  Why is legit writing so much harder than smut?

I may diss my phone a lot, but I was very impressed a while back when I started dictating the final chapter of "Country Summer." Not only did it use a colon where I wanted it to --  instead of just writing the word "colon" -- but it put the chapter title in proper title case ("Chapter 11: Under the Stars"). You go, Google.

If stray cats were hot girls, my life would be a harem anime.

All right, this one my phone didn't learn from me: When I typed "friends with," its first suggestion was "benefits."
Okay, yes, that was actually what I was going to type, but that's beside the point.

I’d like to salute the folks here who are doing NaNo this year. I’m still trying to finish the novel I started two NaNos ago, but I hope to be back in it with a new novel next year.

After all these years, I'm finally ready to confess: I killed the radio star and framed Video for it. Sadly, Video died in prison in 1998, but I hope this confirmation of his innocence brings some comfort to his two children, MP3 and Streaming.

Had to share this article about the benefits of our collective-favorite hobby:
https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2019/10/how-fanfiction-improves-writing/599197/

My birthday is tomorrow, and it’s a big one. Why didn’t I move to a planet with a larger orbit?

More of George’s Phone Follies: A while back, I had to delete my phone’s entire custom dictionary because every time I began typing a word that began with the letter F, it wouldn’t stop suggesting “fuckfuckfuckityfuck” (which I used ONCE in a chapter of “Country Summer”).

So on the way home from a day trip yesterday I did re-listen to “The Loud House After Dark” and it was as lovely as ever. Thanks again for tying together so many delicious little stories so beautifully.

For financial reasons (some self-inflicted, some because of my mother-in-law’s medical expenses), I am giving up cable TV. Will have to find some other way to watch The Loud House and Craig of the Creek. Or else my cartoon fanfics are going to be taking a Netflixy turn. 

Amphibia is totally worth watching. It’s much in the same vein as Gravity Falls and Star Vs the Forces of Evil. 

Why have I never met a female electrician? I get that carpentry and plumbing require a certain amount of upper-body strength, but does electrical work? Or is that profession just an impenetrable boys’ club?

Oh, for Christ’s sake. 
Japan lifts whaling ban, as it tries to revive a dying industry

Was getting coffee at the office when I suddenly had the unbidden thought, “I oughta smurf you right up the smurfhole, you smurfing smurfer!”
Thankfully, I don’t think anyone heard me laughing for no apparent reason.

My Scrabble app does not recognize “jahoobs” as a word. Those 88 points were rightfully mine.

So I’m wondering: When I finish my She-Ra and the Princesses of Power fanfic (God help me), should I request a new category for it, or should I post it with the stories from the old She-Ra show? (Last post there was in 2012.)

I was reading the comments on a news article today, and someone mentioned that in Greek mythology, the male gods (chiefly Zeus) often lied for sex with women or raped them outright. Then another poster asked, “What if the version of Greek mythology that was passed down to us was the rule 34 fanfic of its time”?