i've asked this question yahoo answers, and it got deleted. i tried to ask on a vampirefreaks group, but its been a week and my request to join hasnt been responded to, i dont know if they're avoiding interacting with me or what.
i like to read stories (and daydream) about sexual abuse, mostly kinds that involve domination and/or humiliation. but i've noticed that i dont seem to have the same mindset of other ppl who are into bdsm. most notably i'm not 'switchable' as wikipedia puts it. i would hate to have someone do to me, everthing that i get a rush out of. i'm not a sadomasichist, i'm a pure sadist.
i've read about how 'normal' sadomasochists view their fetish, and their code of conduct, and though its interesting, its completely alien to me, and tragically doesnt appeal to me much.
i have no interest in living my fantasies out in reality, i know better than that, but still, does the fact that enjoy this stuff make me evil? would i be not evil if i also enjoyed being humiliated and abused, or would that just make me a fucked up person?
i need to know the answer, but everywhere i ask no one will tell me. absolutely no one. i needed to know the day i started to ponder it, and its been weeks now and its driving me insane. plz tell me...