aoisuiren

Today is my birthday so I decided to promote my story, and hopefully garner some reads/reviews for it! (Please) It is an original story, genre of adventure and drama. I have worked very hard and with my writing, I really hope to reach out to a diverse audience and make them think about deeper things in life. Title: Beware the Power: Legend of Suyeita Author: Aoi Suiren Rating: Adult Summary: In a world where humans and creatures called Iyagi coexist a revolution is beginning. After a history of servitude to humans, the powerful Iyagi want to claim there place as the superior species by any means necessary. With change and a new world power being born, can those few who only want peace and equality be able to ease in these changes and possibly save many innocent lives from being lost in a violent war? Or will power blind everyone from what crimes may be committed in the name of righting an injustice? Feedback: Greatly desired~ Constructive criticism is appreciated, general opinions of like or dislike are great, too. Fandom: Original URL: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600099547 Thank you for your time~! And for those who review, if you've authored stories I will try my best (no promises) to review your story in return. -Aoi Suiren

If you decide to go with Calanthee's suggestion, spirit gum could help with the sticking to skin-- but be careful with the removal. You can pick it up at Party City stores, if there is one near where you live... or other stores that sell theatrical makeup goods. The idea seems very original though, hope you pull it off well!

I find it easier to code by hand because you go get all those little tags it doesn't like, too. Either way no way seems too perfect and you have to go through the story. ...coding by hand also lends me yet another proof-reading, lol.

The character sounds very realistic. It sounds like you have done your homework, so to speak. You didn't just pluck up some person give them a basic physical appearance and call it a character, it sounds like if you put her into any situation you would be able to make her respond properly and such. ^__^ good job~

I hate when people just have terrible grammar... Like they just wrote it, no proofing, no beta, not even a read-through once done, and post it up. Severe out of character-ness. But mostly, when someone has committed at least a couple tens of thousands of words of a story.... then stops, vanishes, leaving unresolved plot and tension... with no explanation. (The people who vanish for years, never to be seen again. Week/month vanishing isn't so bad, because things can come up in life.)

http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Sunny_Town Does that help?

That can happen sometimes when one goes from a non-HTML based writing to an HTML scripting. If you actually copy your work from what ever program you use, into a notepad, then save as TXT it should eliminate the need for HTML scripting of ' and ", assuming you posted on AFF. The downside is, you might need to go and find every bold, underline, and italic, and paragraph and add in the codes. Hope this helped, if not, sorry. I'd be happy to code it for you if you are having problems yourself.

I badly need a beta reader for my work-in-progress original story: Beware the Power: Legend of Suyeita. Here is a summary: In a world where humans and creatures called Iyagi coexist, a revolution is beginning. After a history of servitude to humans, the powerful Iyagi want to claim there place as the superior species by any means necessary. With change and a new world power being born, can those few who only want peace and equality be able to ease in these changes and possibly save many innocent lives from being lost in a violent war? Or will power blind everyone from what crimes may be committed in the name of righting an injustice? I like to think that silly grammar and spelling mistakes I catch, I proof it myself at least three times... I am in need of someone who can catch the harder to spot errors, non-grammatical mistakes (like Tom has black hair, Tim has red, and I accidentally say Tim's black hair), things that are unclear unintentionally, and just general constructive criticism. Things that might turn some off: -It is Original, 100% of my own creation. -The story mainly focuses on a young girl, she is 13 to 14 during the story. (Although anything that makes it mature does not directly involve her, aside from violence, it is things other people participate in.) -It is a work in progress. There are 6 chapters so far written, and I am writing at least a chapter a month. -It is long, and getting longer. Right now, without intro, author notes, and such, but including glossary and extra information- it is about 50,000 words. -This story, when finished, is not the end of the tale. The story is part of a series. -It is mature only. There is nothing explicit, I have a T posting on fictionpress.com, but wanted to have the original somewhere. There is strong language, violence (especially in later chapters), and many suggestive situations and comments. Posting it here is to try to find more appropriate readership for the story. -Finally, although I tend to hate the term myself, it involves 'anthro' creatures. There are, nothing explicit mind you, some suggestions and admitting of sexual situations between the creatures, Iyagi, and humans. Although, the story mentions it too, Iyagi and humans are close genetically speaking. Later revealed in depth in the story, Iyagi are essentially human aside from physical appearence and 'neilana' abilities. About the Story: It is really trying to parrallel how, more so in the past, people treated people who looked differentally so badly, although essentially they were both the same. Racism is not nearly as bad as it was... so to grab people's attention I made the Iyagi species. I mean if you go back in history, other races were not really seen or treated like they were human beings. In slave days white people wouldn't dream of treating a slave like a human, they saw them and just saw this huge chasm of difference. So when a human looks at an Iyaga, that is what they see, too. Another theme I try to touch upon, is how power can corrupt and blind. The world falls into black, white and gray, but sometimes although you may see the world as gray, most others might just see the stark contrasts in life. So, if you might be interested: The T version: a general idea of what the story is: http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2579533/1/Be...gend_of_Suyeita The M version, the original version. I am editting for HTML so it is taking longer to post up: http://original.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600099547 Any questions? Just post them. It is easy to get into contact with me if you wish to ask privately, email me at aoisuiren @ gmail.com (minus the spaces of course) Thank you for your time.