You awake to find yourself in a forest clearing. Distantly, you can hear singing. It is pretty fucking tuneless. Oh fuck, it might be Bieber. To the east here’s a sign which reads “Quit looking East”, and to the West is a very suspicious tree stump. If you choose to examine the previously unmentioned mudhole Go to 35. If you choose to win self-determination for the Republic of Molossia go to 63. If you want to know about the unsightly rash spreading across your buttocks go to 28 (Charges may apply).