Leaderboard

So… all it takes for the US to adopt metric is a demonic invasion. Good to know

And honestly, even that might not do it.

Jude's Tale (original title Fate of a Fagottist) if I keep bashing out parts might actually make an undeserved 100 views! But I’m having fun writing it, so what the heck. Thanks for your review! He’s drunk, in an enclosed space with the Duchess who is helping him think with his dick, and had something technically true told to him that allows him to believe he hadn’t broken that huge “don’t hit a woman” rule. He’s got to have been prepared to make the effort to change... Even so, I think in another part his self-reflection may return. I hope she didn’t offer you a ride too? Oh, you mean in the Shannon’s report scrap! I guess technically you’ve seen her twice, only she was a lot younger and still an Archangel in the Fall of Chastia scrap. No freaking kidding. It's hard for me to even type. Apparantly the easiest demon name to type is Asmodeus’s nephew Asdfghjkl. I might even change her name again from that scrap! It could get sillier yet! She’s got quite the sense of superirority that woman. I’m think Duchess works better than the dark grace title too –It didn’t fit the persona she’s putting on for Jude of a concerned inhuman-hunter of wealth and status. I think she knew exactly what to say to Jude – She’s got the advantage of being able to read Jude’s mind from a distance, same as old Eparlegna. Never mind the defeated and self-pitying way he walked, she got a look in there and decided he was her patsy, even before he met Kizzy, and then it was just finding a way to get them to interract. Unless my sloppy writing has kicked in and messed it up then her only lies to Jude are lies of omission otherwise everything she says is true – she’s targeting something inhuman with great strength, Kizzy is a dangerous foe to her, and has influence over Shannon, and would spot the Duchess or another demon/damned soul servant approaching her a mile off, and Shannon was in her employ (hers as she sees it!) and as far as she knows Kizzy hasn’t had any interest in any man (There may have been some distinctly less pure thoughts while watching Star Trek, no doubt down to the borrowed flesh, but the Duchess doesn’t know about that.) It’s a nasty one, too. Hopefully by the end of the story, though, if you choose to read it all through and I manage to write it out as I have it all planned in my head you won’t be left needing to write a SAO to feel better. But if you do need to, well, that’s cool from my perspective because they come out great. Thank you! kind of hot is good enough for me. He doesn’t even have enough experience to note that the tongue was a little unnatural. I’m actually feeling like it might be cool to just do another 1000 word part of them having some more sex, total PWP fuckfest, with the Duchess having to remember not to eat his soul as she needs him alive, unharmed and un-soulless for her scheme, then the part after that can continue with where it was going to be before. The only issue is the next batch of prompt words including haslot (which I swear ought be spelled haslet) and fitting in a reference to cooked animal entrails to a non-snuff scene. Ahh well, I seem to not have the interest to write good sex these days anyway so if it doesn’t work and I miss having a sex chapter, then those prompts would have a use when the weapon is deployed. Yeah, that one made me smile too But, can’t say Kizzy didn’t warn him that intolerance’d end up with him in Hell. Thanks again for your review! I think I would not be surprised if nobody else who reads it bothers, but it’s nice to get feedback from someone.

I did actually consider showing the Spider carving parts off of a corpse, but I don’t think that would have made it any clearer. At the time, I didn’t think it mattered if the audience knew what sin it was during the chase, but I thought they might be curious afterward, hence the Author’s Note. “They’ve finally switched over” is exactly what I was going for. Aside from the occasional bit of future tech (nano-sutures at the hospital, the Gungnir asynchronous coilgun, the presence of holograms) the only other thing I changed from the modern day was to assume that the US had finally adopted the metric system. Thank you! This was pretty fun to write, so I’m glad it was enjoyable.

Twinpregnation was probably the most successful of my old story re-writes. I’ve got more feedback on it already than I ever did on the original version and I get a bit of kick that out of the idea that one of their descendants is serving her country in a tiny cameo in someone else’s story. If it makes the final draft. Thanks for your review! I appreciate your thoughts. I’m really glad the sex came across as hot – It’s a big part of the aim of a PWP thing like that. Funny enough the “twins having twins” ref made me think ‘Twinception’ for the frst time and I’m glad to see from google that Urban Dictionary got there years ago. In my original version of the story it literally started with the coming in and seeing the picture. I see what you mean about the perspective shift and the potential for the reader not knowing Connor’s thoughts – It never even ocurred to me to be honest! The original version of the story had the perspective shifts without the impregnation emphasis, and then I wanted to really establish all the changes to the characters for the re-write so I kind of made used seeing each character’s point of view to give them a lot of detail – the new opening was a big expansion on that. It almost certainly would have been better the way you suggest! I don’t know that I’ll ever write sequels. I’ve always enjoyed that whole “risk of getting caught” or “actually having someone talking obliviously to one or both parties having sex while they’re doing it” due to coming in at the wrong time kink/trope/whatever and having some of that going on would be a lot of fun to write. Uncle Declan definitely wants to appear in more stories. “What are you doing in there, Connor?” ‘Don’t say ‘My Sister’’ ‘Don’t say ‘My Sister’’ ‘Don’t say ‘My Sister’’ “Your neice.” ‘SHIT’ (With apologies to Family Guy who probably lifted the joke directly from an 80s sitcom) Thank you again for the review! I really appreciate it and it was a nice surprise.

He was gonna go with “Straight Outa Hell” but someone already used it I figured she would intervene to prevent him touching Jan, but show little concern about the possibility of him hurting her. At the same time she’s very aware that a guy gets drunk and hits one woman might go out and hit another. I was definitely considering the Mpreg option, simply because then I’d get to explore something I’ve done very little with, but I think It’s more likely to be a thought-about pregnancy rather than actually happening. All these folks writing first time stories, then there’s me thinking about doing the “first masturbation in creation” scene. Billions of years later, “Hey, can you guess what I invented?” But maybe that’s a bit too Mary Sue tbh. Maybe she ought to get the idea off a canon character. Anyway, thanks again for the review! Hopefully won’t be too many weeks until part 2.